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INSIGHTFULFemininity Cosplay: a Sh!t-Filled Twinkie (tempesttcup.wordpress.com)

submitted by [deleted]


[–]MentORPHEUSTRP Endorsed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am not in a steady relationship yet, but the quality of my dating life has improved dramatically, and I feel that I am a lot closer to finding that special guy than I was a year ago.

I got to this part and said aloud, "A Year??" Even if she's lying about her 90th percentile looks, her girl game must be nonexistent.

[–]StingrayVC 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fantastic post.

Don't just be window dressing. Any woman can be window dressing. But not all women can be the whole package.

[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Awesome post! I love the phrase "femininity cosplay" and it so accurately describes what she's doing. I'd say I feel bad for her future husband, but honestly, I doubt any guy who's worth it will fall for that charade. At some point she's going to have to walk the walk, and she will fail. Although maybe after faking it for awhile, she'll actually transform into the kind of woman she's pretending to be?

[–]sg92i 2 points3 points  (1 child)

after faking it for awhile, she'll actually transform into the kind of woman she's pretending to be?

I was left wondering that same question, it is reminiscent of a few women I have known of IRL who pretended to be interested in sex just long enough to get into a marriage and then ended up living the sort of thing /r/deadbedrooms talks about.

OTOH one of the commenters on the link remarks:

I do not think that you have to develop a pleasant personality. I think you just have to find a way to express it.

I suppose personalities can change, but I wonder to what extent they get "locked in" and become hard to change after enough time.

[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean how long can you pretend to be sweet, kind, gracious, and generous before those mannerisms become effortless and natural? And at that point, maybe your mind shifts too? I don't think that was the woman's intent, but hey, it's possible.

And I think people and personalities can change but I do think it takes a lot of effort and it's something you have to do for yourself. Some people are naturally more self aware, and they're more likely to reflect and change. Others see everything that happens to them as someone else's fault...and they'll never change.

I was left wondering that same question, it is reminiscent of a few women I have known of IRL who pretended to be interested in sex just long enough to get into a marriage and then ended up living the sort of thing /r/deadbedrooms talks about.

I know this isn't common around here, but this describes my ex to a tee. I was pretty upfront early in our relationship about how much I was enjoying sex with him and how important it was to me, and he managed to fake an interest until a few months after I moved in...dead bedroom from there on out. I wish people would just be more upfront about that kind of thing. Lying to someone you purport to love to trick them into spending their lives with a person you're pretending to be is pretty sick.

[–]Rowboat14 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I love this post. Sometimes I get caught up in feeling a little down that I don't have a wonderful wardrobe full of cute dresses and pretty hair bows :P But my husband cares more about how I treat him and my general demeanor than looking like a pin up girl when he gets home from work.

Not to say that I don't put in an effort, because I do (I don't want him coming home to sweat pants and a spit up stain on my shirt) but as always, balance in all things ;)

[–]TempestTcup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, sometimes I think that I should really start wearing cute dresses and heels, and then I look around work (manufacturing) and the gravel parking lot, and I think about all the money it would cost that could go towards a nice vacation...

Then I look in the mirror and realize that I look pretty great in form-fitting clothes, long curly hair, awesome boots, and how my husband really prefers me in these clothes, and then I'm fine!

[–]Beach_Baby 8 points9 points  (6 children)

If I had known you had a blog I would have bookmarked it forever ago. What a brilliant post!! It doesn't matter how pretty a gift is wrapped if it gets opened and you got socks and underwear again. Femininity is more than pinup style and domestic talent - It's a total package that requires work if it's not your typical manner. It's softness when those around us are abrasive. Genuine femininity is the ground wire of relationship dynamics. It's seeing beauty where it's difficult to find, particularly within ourselves when what our vision is drawn to is the ugliest thing. Feminine Cosplay is the kind of bait-and-switch men have become so terrified of.

[–]TempestTcup 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Thanks! I quit writing for a while, but I've been trying to get back to it lately. It does seem that a lot of new people on RPW change the exterior and hope for better success; it's a lot easier to put on a dress than it is to change your personality and become more feminine in your outlook on life.

[–]Beach_Baby 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Can I just tell you your post about Farmville 2 is probably one of the most entertaining blog posts I've ever read? Having never played, I kind of want to now, lol.

[–]TempestTcup 7 points8 points  (2 children)

LOL, don't do it! I had to quit because it was giving me weird Farmville dreams and keeping me up at night; I wasn't even spending that much time on it either: about an hour a day tops.

It is a good example of how feminism dictates video games, and how video games, the really big ones females flock to, have a way of subliminally brain-washing people. I don't know how it was able to get into my brain to the point that while sleeping it was always there.

It is an extremely cute game visually, and all of the characters do funny people things like checking their boots for animal poop, etc. The kids play Jacks and Hula-hoop, the animals graze, and the water animals swim and dive. Your fences keep breaking and all of the animals get out, LOL.

But, there is a huge element of addiction there; the game rewards and makes you work for rewards. The rewards aren't even and don't align with the amount of work performed: sometimes you will work very hard to open a chest and all that's in it is a decorative garden gnome.

In a way, the game is very much like RP for men: if you reward too often and without making the woman work for it, she will get bored and lose interest; if you make her work too hard for it, she will give up and find someone easier; if you make her work for it just enough and reward unevenly, sometimes huge exciting rewards for little work, sometimes small rewards for a ton of hard work, always answering her three texts with one of his, she gets hooked. Crap, I'm a Farmville widow!

Hmmm... Maybe I'll write another Farmville post :)

Edited to say that now that I think about it, almost all of the video games women play, the silly little games like Farmville and CandyCrush, they ALL use game. I guess this is why women are drawn to them: they are good looking with intermittent rewards; they are the man they always wanted!

[–]sg92i 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to wonder if part of the draw to those games has something to do with how someone can walk away from them for any length of time they want and come back to the same gaming experience. Its not like 1st person shooters, RTSs, or RPGs where playing sessions need to be somewhat lengthy and uninterrupted.

[–]Beach_Baby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same thing, but I think somehow I knew you already had noticed it too, lol. I found it interesting that the men were the ones in charge of the Littles.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

And our Mod tempy hits another one out of the park!

[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's interesting looking at my stats on my blog; even though we only have 30-40 people here at any given time, they must pop in and out a lot because I got roughly 1500 visitors from RPW alone. Good to know there are that many lurking, and that is only counting the number that clicked the link!

I know that a lot of RPW gain what they came here for and then leave to live their lives, so I wasn't sure how many subscribers were actually active.

[–]TempestTcup -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Awww, thanks!

[–]littleteafox 1 point2 points  (8 children)

Hah the title gives a very apt visual!

What's with the talk of percentiles? Is that a thing most women think about?

[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I think that women who overvalue their assets, and tout their intelligence, like to put a definite numerical value on it; it makes them feel better about being alone approaching 30yo. Being in the 90th percentile isn't giving her hugs and kisses, though.

[–]StingrayVC 0 points1 point  (6 children)

I think it makes them feel more logical as well. More professional.

[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point  (5 children)

True, and makes them sound smarter! "See, I do math stuff!"

[–]littleteafox 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I just think it makes them sound like a superficial snob :P "I only date men in the 95th percentile" hair flip

[–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point  (3 children)

LOL, if by "date" you mean one date each, then yes :)

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–]TempestTcup 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    If she's going for the 95 percentile, it probably isn't a cheap motel, LOL!

    [–]jade_catEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Awesome post ! I love the expression "femininity cosplay". Even if you have the looks, if you don't have the attitude that goes with them, it's a sham. And even if she would "fake" a feminine attitude for a while, her natural harsh, aggressive self would resurface eventually.

    [–]nopooq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wow. This blog looks wonderful. Thanks for sharing! I'm really excited to read the other content here.