Mr. Dunham is a greater beta. I've said it before in discussions and have received strange reactions from men and women in the sub. One man even private messaged me to tell me I shouldn't be bad mouthing my husband! Well, he is a greater beta, and that's not a bad thing. I don't want an alpha, I wouldn't be happy with one. Here is my case for the Greater Beta.
What is a Greater Beta?
At TRP, beta is synonymous with “b!tch boy,” or “pu$$y”, while alpha is synonymous with “god”. So I understand the confusion when women come here and they think they want an alpha or suddenly feel like the person they're with isn't good enough. I found myself facing this apparent dilemma almost 3 years ago. I had been married six months before discovering the red pill and I'm reading all of the material in the manosphere thinking to myself, “Oh my God, I married a loser. Mr. Dunham is a beta b!tch.” However, once I applied the tenets of Fascinating Womanhood and The Surrendered Wife, I began to notice a change occurring in him too, just as Mrs. Andelin and Mrs. Doyle predicted!
Greater Betas are the reluctant leaders. They have leadership qualities and abilities but don't vie for that spot. If it's given to them they'll accept the position as leader. They have certain beta qualities but balance them out with enough alpha qualities so they aren’t spineless. Now while some men are born alpha and some men are can become alphas, the same is true with Greater Betas. My husband, before I began my RPW journey, was a beta. He listened and followed my directions without question. He didn’t argue and rarely challenged me and if he did, I made sure he was sorry. However, when I fixed myself and my attitude, Mr. Dunham also changed (a story for another time!)
The reason my husband followed my orders is because it's in his nature to be agreeable and go-with-the-flow than disrupt the waters. Some personality traits that I have observed in Mr. Dunham that prove to me he's GB are as follows:
Reluctant Leader: when I moved out of the driver's seat, he sat down. But I had to move, he didn't ask me to.
Has Leadership qualities, can rally a team, can lead a team: he does this at work, he's always been the secondhand man for any boss, has been the assistant branch manager at a bank and at a cell phone store.
Has the ability to be aggressive and stand his ground, but chooses the situations carefully. My sister’s fiancée never backs down from a fight (literally, he's broken bones in his hand fighting before) whereas my husband won't pick up bait and won't bait a guy into fighting. However when a fellow salesman he works with encroached on his territory, Mr. Dunham came down on him severely and raised hell at his office.
Goes into autopilot and will ask me the dumbest questions, “It's 9:30, should we get our coats on to leave?” “Should I feed the kids breakfast now?” and I have to remind him to make decisions himself
At the beginning of my RPW journey, he told me he didn't want to be the leader and wanted to make decisions with me equally, he wasn't the right person to make decisions (this was during the phase of me practicing, “whatever you think!” and he was despairing over the fact I wouldn't make a decision for him.)
He will totally beta out (and here I mean wuss out) with his ex-wife about decisions concerning his two boys with her.
For me and for probably many women, the GB is enough of a leader for us. Mr. Dunham goes out of his way for a compromise with me (even though I adhere to the ‘defer to his decision’ rule) on things, he passes comfort tests and some shit tests (he's the king of amused mastery without knowing what it is), he's charming, witty, funny, and can be arrogant, but just enough to make me want him, not enough for it to bother me. Mr. Dunham is the perfect middle ground for me.
If you think your SO is too spineless to stand and you need to find a Chad, first fix yourself because your SO may blossom into a GB. The GB is the perfect mix of alpha/beta traits and will satisfy women more than they may actually think. If you find the alpha personality too domineering and the beta too revolting, you may just be after a Greater Beta.