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DISCUSSIONWhat if your bf made you sign a contract before moving in together? (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

John Cena is in the news because of his break up and one big thing is eceryon freaking out because he had rules for his house and made his gf sign a contract that she would obey the rules.

Some of the rules were no tours of the house to people not in your family. Hang up your towels, no shoes in the house and text him if you will be up late, how you find the place, keep it that way and there is formal dinner wed night. In the morning he expects you to have coffee with him and in the evening there is a fire outside. Would you sign a contract if your bf asked?


[–]HelloImRIGHT 90 points91 points  (2 children)

Damn. John Cena making crazy rules like take your shoes off and hang up towels! and oh my he doesnt want random people touring his home? Oh no!

Literally the most unreasonable rule is him expecting you to have coffee with him.

Anyone calling him a maniac hasn't met the person who lays down no rules, no boundaries, and then becomes a different person when you break his unknown rules.

Get a grip people.

[–]Rivkariver2 Star 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would love to have a bonfire every night w my bf.

[–]polakfury 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds so reasonable yet she couldnt follow any lol. If those rules are too hard just give up in life

[–]procrast1natrix 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'd think of it as a form of vetting. Offering me that type of exceedingly detailed and inflexible contract would reveal to me that we are not a good fit, and should walk away now. I would appreciate his displaying himself up front.

I have some friends that did sign a contract (I don't think it was a legal one, just between them) outlining the rules as they first moved in together. Theirs was really about the financials and how they intended to address things like purchasing furniture or choosing cable plans when they had unequal earning power, though. They had each been raised in broken chaotic homes and that act was, in hindsight, an important step in how they learned to trust. It's twelve years later now and they are married, when they each had previously thought they would never be able to trust that deeply. Still nerdy as all get out, it's super cute.

[–]CanOfFreedom 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I feel that all of those requests are very reasonable and I would sign it. Having a list of basic expectations also takes a lot of guesswork out the picture, which is convenient.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Everyone is making him out to be a maniac. I like knowing expectations.

[–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Especially expectations as nice as those.

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 25 points26 points  (12 children)

I think giving house rules is fine but taking it so far as to sign a legal document is definitely a bit much. I think verbal agreement should be fine. It just seems like he is a bit controlling because the act of signing. All the expectations are reasonably but again, verbal agreement should be enough and her input should be considered. What if Tuesday is better for the formal dinner or tea instead or coffee? These things are minor but show that he is the type of leader that considers his woman when making decisions.

[–]CanOfFreedom 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Take into account that this man has been divorced once and knows what kind of consequences he could potentially experience if he doesn't cover all his bases.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, the consequences of letting strangers into the house/giving them tours are a bit worse for John Cena than for your average Joe.

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Shes just a girlfriend moving in. Prenups are ok for marriage but general house rules are a bit much to be signed imo.

My old roommate wanted whoever came in to sign a legal house rules document. She scared everyone away it was a nightmare. Even people who would have no trouble following the rules were scared away because of the signing. People who request signing often had bad experiences before or issues with previous roommates/girlfriends. Even if it wasnt their fault its like showing all your baggage on a piece of paper.

[–]LexGrom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shes just a girlfriend moving in

But in his house. It's not much different from being a landlord/roommate. He has wealth and public presence. Legal protection of both is no-brainer

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (7 children)

I think a verbal agreement should be fine.

The problem with verbal agreements is that people's memories won't line up when it comes time to fulfilling the agreement. Someone can always say "I never agreed to that" or "I didn't mean that". Etc.

[–]theoppositeopinion1 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Also, most people don't have millions and millions of dollars on the line and a reputation that could be ruined, costing livelihood for 'scandal' that ends up being just "fighting because she wouldn't hang up the towels".

[–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's definitely something that strikes me as perfectly normal for celebrities. The average woman would probably find it weird if her new boyfriend asked for this, but I think that's unfortunate because probably this kind of thing would be good for the average couple.

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Wasn't she just moving in? Not getting married?

Prenups are different. She was just moving in.

[–]theoppositeopinion1 0 points1 point  (2 children)

In a lot of places (like where I live) if you co-habitate for more than 12 months (some places 6, some places 24) you are married in the eyes of the law (common law). I know a lot of places in the USA isn't like this, but most of the world has commonlaw relationship rules that are almost as strong as marriage laws.

[–]swingshift6381 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’m from Colorado here there is no set time limits it’s totally up for a judge to decide. There are county and city statutes though in Greeley the law from back in the 1800s is if you live together for 24 straight hours your married

[–]mytrpaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m from Colorado here there is no set time limits it’s totally up for a judge to decide.

Not quite.

The Lucero case outlines the basic criteria for a common law marriage in Colorado. The couple must:

  1. Cohabitate,
  2. Mutually agree to be married, and
  3. Openly hold themselves out to the public as married.

https://www.colorado-family-law.com/common-law-marriage/colorado-common-law-marriage-requirements.htm

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean if he still had the rules written out and showed it and put it somewhere close like a kitchen drawer after she agreed. I still think signing is too far. Its like when you make a profile on a dating site and say, "i expect this and that or it wont work out." It tends to scare many people away and seem like a red flag. There are some cool with it but most see it as a red flag.

[–]ragnarockette4 Stars 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Contracts are much more common in the celebrity dating world. So, if my boyfriend was John Cena, then yes I probably would.

The stipulations about getting up to have coffee with him, formal dinner on Wednesdays, etc. seem a little odd to me. They suggest that John was probably aware from the get-go that they had some fundamental differences and he wasn't 100% sure about taking the next step, so he created a contract to try and do pre-emptive damage control.

But in normal life, a contract like that would be a huge red flag that I was walking into a potentially controlling and rigid situation.

[–]swingshift6381 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I moved into my then gf now wife’s place after 4 dates. When we talked about me moving in she said “ we’re gonna need some rules we better make a list”. I thought to myself her place her rules.. what have I gotten myself into.. but no it was our place and our rules. It defined our space , privacy, chores , & money. It took a few tweaks over time but it worked great. 6 months later we bought our house together & tweaked the rules. We got engaged 6 months later & married 6 months after that which took more tweaks. Now after 11 years of marriage it’s not really a set of rules anymore it’s a list of responsibilities to each other & our marriage that we live by. Some of our friends & family think it’s a little crazy but here’s the kicker we’ve been together for 12 years and we have never had a major argument.. yes we disagree but we discuss and negotiate are way through them.

Would I recommend signing a contract or setting up some sort of agreement before you move in.

Yes but only if there’s equal say , frequent tweaks , & if you both intend to stick to them.

[–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's probably not really a legal contract because if the girlfriend breaks the rules he's just going to break up with her, not sue her or something. Really it's just formalizing an agreement between two people and signing it is a sort of symbolic gesture that helps you take it more seriously. To some people it might seem a little weird to be that formal about it, but I think that's just personal preference. I think it's nice.

[–]OhIMeMine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

None of these requests are crazy, but I still feel that a contract is weird. Most of it should be common sense. I feel like you should pick a person who respects you, your belongings, and your space, without a contract. If you need to sign an actual contract in order to get your gf/bf to cooperate with you in terms of your basic needs, then you probably shouldn’t be dating that person.

The requests themselves are normal, but they should be the subject of a pre-move in together conversation. Not a contract. That just makes it weird to me.

[–]Waterboo2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is the coffee meant to be every single morning? And the fire meant to be every single night? Sorry, but I think that is too much. That sounds like he can’t handle any minor change in schedule. The other ones are fine, I guess, but he has admitted that the contract was too much . 75 pages just to move in as a girlfriend? I would take his as a red flag that he has too much baggage.

[–]queenvalerie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'd ever sign anything like that just because I'm a stickler about the condition of my home, i.e. I always hang up the towels. None of the things apply to me, but I for some reason or another find it sweet because the guy's making room for required quality time on wednesdays and fridays, and in the mornings. If I was presented that specific contract, I'd sign it, but that doesn't apply to all contracts.

[–]montereybay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the same guy who signed a contract agreeing not to sell his Ford GT, and then went and did it anyways. He sounds like one of those people who thinks rules and limits are for other people.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to get everything in writing so several months/years down the road when memories start to get fuzzy or selective you can refer back and they can’t say “I never agreed to that.”

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's one way to set clear expectations, nothing wrong with that.

[–]StinkyDiaper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marriage is a contract that stretches far beyond anything John Cena has ever written.

[–]carefreevermillion2 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd actually like that because I'm very forgetful, and having a checklist of things to keep up with would be great. Of course I'd have a reciprocal contract of expectations for him to match, but I'd make sure my list was shorter and less demanding than his to keep the proper dynamic.

[–]andheaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re completely reasonable things. And every relationship is different. I would comply if my SO asked these things of me. Pretty much all of them I enjoy. The fact we’d have to go through a legal contract to make a promise like this feels very wrong to me- to other couples, perhaps they’d like it. I would prefer to have a verbal agreement, my preference.

Edit: he has most likely signed many contracts in his life, this is perhaps how he handles a serious promise as a celeb.

[–]MsAfrodisiac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many celebrities require those around them to sign NDA's. If my bf was a celebrity I would likely agree to sign an NDA. As far as a contract similar to Cena's, I would likely negotiate with him a bit on some matters. I believe the clause about not providing tours of the house is reasonable. The other things, not so much. I would particularly be interested in what damages would be in the result of a breach of contract.

[–]brockliz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would almost prefer a contract with my boyfriend so i know if he changes or i change we have something to be accountable to

[–]TheRealBestAmerican 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd make a contract, easy. Damn, that's a good idea.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Contract marriages/relationships are the future. Good for him for refusing fantasyland. Read some Heinlein.

[–]LexGrom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Contracts is the only way to go. Likely even just for sex. Consent is a legal matter and rightly so

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An informal list detailing division of chores, ground rules, etc? Okay, sure.

A 75 page legal document?

No thanks.

[–]whitelight369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like reasonable stuff tbh