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[FIELD REPORT]"You make me feel like I don't have to be ashamed to be a man" (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by beginnerbuttocks

When I met my SO he struck me as an alpha trapped in beta clothing. He is by all accounts masculine but it seemed like the feminist society he came from was very oppressive to his natural instincts. But last night he finally told me that our time together has made him realize how happy he is to be with a woman that makes him feel like a man. Like he can be the man that he wants to be. And he said he would like nothing more than to be with me for the rest if his life.

Some interesting things: he listed a number of scenarios that he's experienced with me that he would not experience with the women in his country:

  • Jealousy.He said he'd never felt free to express jealousy with a girl or to express any kind of possessiveness with an ex as women from his country view that as "uncool"

  • An appreciation of femininity I wore a certain kind of some lingerie last week and he said he liked it. So I wore more of it the rest of the week. Last night he said he couldn't even imagine showing appreciation for that with an ex or even mention the word "lingerie" without a girl there freaking out at his "entitlement". He also says he loves how I dance and that women in his country don't dance in a sexy way at all.

  • The desire to protect. He says he really likes that fact that he can be protective without being shamed about it. There was an instance where a man in his building harassed me one night and he hunted him down and informed him that the next time he wished to speak with me he'd have to speak to my SO first...he said that was the first time he'd ever done that and it felt really good to be free to be himself.

All I can say is I'm so shocked. I've never explicitly spoken about TRP with him and I can't believe he used all these very RP themes to express his feelings. But he does know what I need in a man and he knows about the captain first mate dynamic which we are currently doing. I'm so happy. When we first started dating he would firmly defend feminism and now he's got no problem saying feminism has ruined his country's women for dating.

Thank you RPW It's been a long journey for me to get to this point. And I plan to stay here and keep soaking up your words of wisdom. RP has to be the best thing I've ever learned and it really works


[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

yep. this is what we are about. modern relationships completely and totally ignore male nature. we take it into account. thats it. its not magic

[–]alcockell 3 points4 points  (0 children)

JULIA - "In this room I can be a woman, not a Party comrade".

Georrge Orwell - 1984.

Under feminism...

WINSTON - "In this room, I can be a man, not a Party comrade."

[–]Delixcroix 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will say with all honesty a lack of jealousy is a shit test for me. If I can't inspire jealousy I assume I am not with a passionate enough man to wish to protect me as his lover.

There's nothing wrong with jealousy if they are a man about it. Whinyness isn't a good jealousy... Jealousy done right just makes me feel loved more, not annoyed.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Sounds like somewhere in Scandinavia. Probably Sweden, if I had to guess.

[–]beginnerbuttocks[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, a Nordic country. :)

[–]neiti 1 point2 points  (2 children)

He used to defend feminism - of course he attracted feminist women. Plenty of Nordic women have a RP mentality. So he didn't attract them, that doesn't mean they don't exist. That might be a good thing to keep in mind when generalizing (if not even badmouthing) the entire female population of a certain country. ;) But fantastic to hear that you make him feel like a man, sounds like you two are happy together. Good job!

[–]beginnerbuttocks[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's actually a good point. Sorry of it sounds like I was bad mouthing anyone...was just trying to summarize what he said. But yes he may have been attracting feminist women, the way I dated womanish men when I was feminist.

But I also think he didn't start off feminist. But I wonder if his first girlfriends "beat it into him" the way I used to with my exes.

[–]neiti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didn't mean you were bad mouthing anyone! What he's told you sounds like he was bad mouthing a little, but that is normal. It could be his reaction to finding a good woman from another country. He didn't meet your kind of women in his old country, so now he's been left with a bit of an warped idea of reality.

I don't think any men start off feminist. It's very possible that his first girlfriends "beat it into him". His parents could have something to do with it, also. Men are raised to respect women, but some end up with "incomplete" ideas of what that really means.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The male nature comes to light with the proper complimentary partner. It shouldn't be too much of a surprise, really.

That being said, I love these tiny success stories.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome

[–]Spore2012 -1 points0 points  (16 children)

Wait how is jealousy a good thing? This doesn't sound very RP at all.

[–][deleted]  (15 children)

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    [–]Spore2012 2 points3 points  (13 children)

    As a man who isn't genetically predisposed to jealousy, and who dgaf about much. I think of it as weak and somewhat subhuman trait.

    I understand protecting your belongings or mates, but getting upset when someone flirts or looks at your woman is just immature/weak to me.

    logic being, that if you are comfortable enough and know your woman well enough that she wouldn't dare fuck around, then who cares, she's coming home with you tonight and every other night anyway.

    And if she is going to flirt back seriously then you know she isn't worth caring about anyway because she either doesn't care about you, or she is trying to stir some chaos up in the relationship. He can have her. I think people call that a 'red flag'.

    I'm sort of a dick sometimes though, so don't think of this as anything but my opinion/experiences. I actually joke about it being my superpower and bitches are always trying to test it. I really dgaf. I do understand it's a normal thing that most people experience. However, I don't see how it could be good.

    [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    I also think people have different definitions of what a "jealous SO" means. There's the psycho, insecure type, and there's the type that is just trying to protect their investment. Being jealous and being possessive are similar, and it really depends on the level whether or not it's a negative thing. My husband isn't a super jealous type, but I'm not allowed to be alone with a man (not that I would try to do that anyway), and I think it's pretty reasonable for him to be "jealous" of my interactions with other men.

    [–]Spore2012 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Yea that's not jealousy. He is just a smart man. Men know how men think, and 9 out of 10 guys hanging around with a girl want to be in her. Men know that other men use tricks and tech to achieve that goal even if she isn't the one trying to sabotage.

    That's just healthy relationship boundaries.

    [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    I agree with you, but I've heard other women describe that behavior as a form of jealousy. I dunno if that's really what OP was describing as jealousy. I was just trying to give her boyfriend the benefit of the doubt.

    [–]Spore2012 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Yea, I think people just like to blame shit on people being jealous so they can be socially/situationally superior.

    "Oh she's just jealous of you girl!" type of shit.

    [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh lawd, that is truly a female specialty.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Spore2012 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      I wouldn't even consider myself alpha really. Most RPers or people would probably consider me beta with some of the beliefs and morals that I subscribe to.

      I just think jealousy is silly.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      for a man in a marriage, NOT mate guarding is silly--he is liable to end up raising and feeding some other mans spawn. mate guarding is natural and normal.

      [–]KyfhoMyoba -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

      Beta males mate guard. Alpha males disregard.

      [–]TempestTcup 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Disregarding is great when you are spinning plates, but we aren't plates, we are wives, mothers, SOs, and long term partners. Disregarding will kill a relationship, but mate-guarding, if done from the correct frame, will make her feel loved and protected. When my husband looks murderously at a guy bothering me I get tingles.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      not in serious LTRs they dont. this isnt TRP

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Spore2012 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yea but that's not jealousy. That's just being smart and having boundaries.

        [–]MrsKittenHeel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Agreed, jealousy is natural at a biological level. Its how its handled which is RP or BP.