SELF IMPROVEMENTRaise your SMV. Lose weight. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by PoisonIvorie

Tldr: basic information about weight loss for those who are overweight/obese

67% of adults are now overweight/obese. This means that those who are not are automatically more rare and of higher value. This post is for those who are in this category. You can figure out if you are in this category by figuring out your bmi. Or if you want to be difficult and argue with me about the validity of bmi you can find out your waist-to-height ratio.

Losing weight is not hard even though people scream it is. At the beginning (if you are overweight/obese) you don't even have to exercise. All you have to do is balance the equation. The ideal human body is an equation balanced by eating less calories than you use. You can figure out how much you use by googling BMR and figuring it out.

After figuring out BMR you start counting the calories you eat and your daily deficit would probably be around 200-500 by eating 1200-1500 calories a day.

For the first month stick to this number religiously. Weigh yourself every week at the same time wearing the same thing (or nothing). This isn't for cruelty but to make sure you are properly balancing the equation.

If you are not losing weight sticking at a deficit then one of two things (or both) can be happening. • you're lying and not counting everything/miscounting • you're BMR is lower than what you previously thought, so you need to eat less calories than you are currently OR you need to add in exercise to expend more calories.

It doesn't matter what condition you have this is how weight loss/maintaining a healthy weight works.

The easiest way to ensure success is to plan properly. Research different foods and find out their calories and plan meals for the week. Stop drinking sodas and stop eating fast food (one combo meal is commonly around 1000 calories).

No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable - Socrates

[–]youreallmeatanyway 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I love how brutally honest this sub is.

[–]En-Zu 34 points35 points  (7 children)

There are so many potentially pretty & intelligent women I've passed up because of their weight. Those who are left know they're worth a lot more and they get a little entitled. It really makes me sad that there's such a deficit...

[–]jb_trp 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Agreed. I don't want to sound shallow, but weight is a huge deal breaker for me. Weight is a big indicator of so many things: How active someone is, how they take care of themselves (and consequently, how they would take care of the kids), etc. It's really something you can't hide.

[–]rprollerEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In the law enforcement community, a fat cop is often seen as someone who lacks discipline generally. If you can't even keep your body in shape, chances are you have shitty work ethic too.

[–]En-Zu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah you know since this is such a big deal I wonder if it wouldn't be impossible to sticky some resources on how to lose weight. I know there are a lot of misconceptions about it out there.

Maybe we could compile a community guide of tips or something? It's really not all that hard and, for calorie restriction, once you get through the adjustment phase of a few months (to a year tbh) then your appetite adjusts.

This is why so many people "gain the weight back" because their willpower just breaks because they think the hunger that they experience in this adjustment phase will last forever. This is why they always joke (in that cruel way that insecure people do) that women who are skinny are always hungry. No, it's just that their appetites match their activity level.

[–]prettylittledictator 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Sigh, when you're fit but lazy too. 😰

[–]jb_trp 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If you're fit, stay fit. You're light-years ahead of the average.

[–]prettylittledictator 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My husband is fit so only fair I stay fit too. But Lord knows I love laying on the couch a lot.

[–]jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]thegreenmachine90 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Another good thing to add: after you have a baby. Lose the damn baby weight. It's one thing to still be chunky after a few weeks or months. But around six months to a year, it's just sad and unhealthy. Your kids will want you around for all the important moments in your life, and your husband will be much happier to help you make them a brother or sister :)

[–]lacygnus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I couldn't agree more! I feel like women are coddled so much that they become unable to hold themselves to a certain standard because everybody gets a participation trophy. It's just absurd. In my culture it's unacceptable for women to balloon after having children. You're representing your family when you're out and about in public and if you're dumpy and fat that's not a very good image to project.

I think there's also something to be said for women not taking being pregnant as license to cram every doughnut and danish down their throat. Not only is it bad for the baby but it makes bouncing back that much more difficult. When my sister was pregnant she gained about 25 lbs. and everybody was on her to eat more and telling her she was harming the baby by not turning into a blimp.

[–]c_a_l_m 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I just wanted to mention this:

Recently I did a bit of a binge looking at the top posts of all time on /r/progresspics. What surprised me was how many crazy hot women are walking around in fat suits. To put it another way: if I see a girl who is overweight, I just assume that her present level of attractiveness is where she'll be at for the rest of her life, and it can't vary that much. I was completely wrong.

To overweight women reading this who feel ignored by men:

a) you probably are, sorry. Nice (like, actually nice) guys will still be your friend though.

b) The vast majority of people, including you, greatly underestimate how attractive you could be.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The truth of the matter though is that few people have the discipline to actually lose the weight. So, it's a waste of time to look at "what could be" because the chances are so slim they really can make that change.

[–]PinkFloweryBranches 4 points5 points  (1 child)

As someone with narcolepsy, I'd like to add one tidbit. GET GOOD QUALITY SLEEP EVERY NIGHT!
I cannot reiterate this enough. The two most important organs to take care of are your gut and your brain. Sleep deprivation causes brain damage. Stop with the "I'll catch up with my sleep on the weekend." Stop bragging about how you only get 5 hours of sleep last night.
As someone who wishes that she can sleep 8 hours straight like she used to, I'm begging all of you to not take advantage of sleep!!! It'll help with weight loss!

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true. Sleep deprivation can make you fat.

[–]nonnimoose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My biggest regret in life is that I spent most of my thirties overweight. In my mid-forties I lost 30 pounds and have kept it off. What worked for me is eating the amount of calories that a person at my height/activity level would need to maintain an ideal weight. It was slow going, as it was a little over the 1200-1500/day recommendation. More like 1500-1700. But, eventually I was that weight and I didn't have to change anything to maintain it since I was already on the "maintenance" plan.

So now I've got a pretty decent SMV (for my fifties), not because I'm so hot, but because most women my age are fat and I'm slim and fit (I also exercise).

I regret taking so long because even though my husband has always made me feel desired no matter what my weight was, I wasn't happy with myself. Our sex life is better if I feel sexy and I certainly didn't when overweight. Another reason for regret is that even though I'm now happy with the way my body looks, I know that it doesn't look nearly as good as it would have had I been this weight 20 years ago. No amount of diet or exercise can change the looser skin and other signs of age.

Moral: Ladies, you are young, take care of yourself NOW while you are in your sexy prime :)

[–]bowie747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Weight loss is far more simple than people think:

Burn more energy than you consume

[–]fallen_angel_81 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My sister was agoraphobic for many years after suffering horrendous bullying at school. She comfort ate and ended up ballooning to 18 stone. She joined 'Slimming World' a couple of years ago and lost 5 1/2 stone in a year just by eating healthily. No exercise at all. She's now a uk size 10 and looks great. It's not that hard if you really want it.

[–]meaningintragedy 3 points4 points  (3 children)

You meant the daily deficit should be 200-500, right?

Nice post. I am fit again using the same technique.
Also, use Lose It or MFP to track what you eat.

[–]PoisonIvorie[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yeah that's what I meant I'll fix it! I'm just so annoyed with women complaining that it's impossible to lose weight when it's usually just a user/mathematical error.

[–]meaningintragedy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not just women, it's everyone (I am a guy).
Imo it's also due to the misconception that one needs to work their ass off in the gym to lose weight.

[–]CanOfFreedom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's usually just an excuse and not a valid complaint.

[–]trillium_waste 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thanks for this. I've lost 22 lbs so far since about February and feel so much better. I have about 15 to go. But it really is one of the best ways to stand out among the crowd. 67%. That's just sad.

[–]nonnimoose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's great, congrats!

[–]Ether_Freeth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guess I'll add my two cents.

For those of you wondering what good foods or bad foods are I'll give you a bit of help.

First good or bad depends on function. But in the light weightloss I would suggest using the glycimic index too choose foods with a low glycemic index. I'll come too the why later.

now if you have used your favorite search engine to look up what a glycemic index is. good for you. Do the same for glycemic load. I'll link a nice list at the bottom as well.

But why use these lists? Well first of eating low index foods is healthy ( high index foods have their use as well). Especially in weight loss it will help with the feeling of hunger. It will also minimise the impact on your system and this will help prevent diabetes. And if you have diabetes it will help too better regulate and calculate the dose of insulin you need.

Okay but what do I use glycemic load for? Short answer is not all foods that look good are good as well as the inverse. You can literally lose weight on a diet of Twinkies. But that is not as healthy or fun as it might sound.

Glycemic load is a value that describes how much sugar will enter your system per serving compounded with the speed of it entering your system. Now if I lost you don't worry.

Eat foods with a low glycemic index but intermediary load to fuel your day. This is like a drip tank of fuel entering your system to keep you going. Keep the amounts small and regular manually as well. In other words eat less more often so for example 4 or 5 meals evenly spread out over the day instead of 2 or 3.

Eat foods with low glycemic index and load to get all the other nutrients you need without overeating on the calories.

Why? because carbohydrates(sugars) are your main contributor too your caloric intake during the day. And those two lists are all about carbohydrates in your food.


Sorry for editing and formatting mistakes. Phone don't like me being too fancy.

Edited : because mistakes and such.

[–]RojoEscarlata 1 point2 points  (14 children)

[–]PoisonIvorie[S] 2 points3 points  (12 children)

Yes I should be eating a paleo diet (I have pcos) so thank you for this!

[–]RojoEscarlata 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes! A couple of friends have it too and Paleo helped them a lot. But anyone should change to it imho, paleo is TRP of diet, alimentation.

[–]PoisonIvorie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm definitely going to work towards it, I just have difficulty with energy right now which makes it difficult to cook/clean the dishes

[–]hazlenutno 0 points1 point  (9 children)

I have pcos and have been trying the keto diet but still not losing weight despite exercise and calorie counting as well. I haven't thought about paleo...is it much different from keto?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]hazlenutno 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I haven't been tracking them as I should but I'm gonna average it at 30g of carbs and about 50g of protein a day. I've been doing it for 2 months and have only lost about 5 pounds

    [–]TheBouillonQueen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I would try tracking it religiously for a week straight- you'd be surprised at the number of carbs and calories that sneak in. When I get lazy and the weight loss stops, my 'estimate' of 30g might actually be closer to 45 or 50g, and I've been doing it for almost six months.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–]hazlenutno 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      Ah yeah my nutritionist told me to not eat more than a small handful of fruit and cheese makes up a lot of what I eat and I use heavy cream in my cooking a lot as well. I definitely try to steer away from the sweeteners though. I think I just need to be more calorie conscious on keto

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]hazlenutno 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I think you're right my boyfriend has already lost about 20 pounds while I'm over here getting frustrated. My nutritionist suggested I only eat 1200

        [–]Lucretia99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Investing a little time and money into getting a personal trainer will help TONS.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Whether you lose weight, gain weight, or stay the same, is simple. Calories in - calories out = calories added (or lost). The theory behind this is so simple. Although in theory there is no difference between theory and practice, in practice there is. If it was easy and simple to actually do it, we wouldn't have an obesity epidemic, because nobody likes being overweight. The percentage of people who fail at following weightloss diets makes depressing reading. You can't go through life eating lettuce.

        So, why is it simple but not easy? Because there is more to it. Two things in particular. How much you eat, and what you eat, is determined by appetite and habit. Our bodies evolved to stay healthy and at the right weight, yet, at this time in our society we are not, so why not? If you eat more than you need to eat, then something has gone wrong with the physiological mechanisms that tell you when to stop eating. Our ancestors didn't have tables of calorie values and labels on everything, yet were not overweight.

        Start with appetite. Your appetite is governed by hormone levels, leptin and ghrelin (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17212793). You need a certain amount of energy, available for your systems to run, but too much in the blood is a problem, so you store the excess as fat (regardless of whether the excess calories came in the form of fat, carbohydrate or protein). This is a good thing, if you didn't do this you would not make it through the night without having to get up several times to eat. What causes the excess to be converted into fat is insulin. If you have a spike in the amount of sugars coming in to the bloodstream you have a surge of insulin, which pushes it out into adipose tissue, but in turn causes a drop in blood sugar, making you feel hungry again (as in, 'I ate a chinese meal an hour ago and already feel hungry').

        So, you can help control appetite by reducing insulin surges, by reducing the amount of carbohydrate and particularly high glycemic-index carbs. This is what paleo is all about. It isn't the only way, but paleo is a perfectly healthy diet, if perhaps more restrictive than it really needs to be. I would generally avoid soy products, however, and be aware of how much sugar and salt is being put into processed foods. Always better to cook from raw ingredients.

        The other aspect is habit. What you pick up in the store, how much you put on your plate, how often you eat, whether you work out regularly, this is not something you decide de novo each time, these decisions are governed by habit. Habits can be changed, and there are often 'keystone' habits that, once changed, have a knock-on effect to many areas of your life. Read Charles Duhigg's 'Power of Habit'.

        If you make it just a matter of willpower, you will probably lose the fight. Willpower is fine for short-term things, but changing the way you eat over your life is not for willpower alone, you need something else on your side. You need to make appetite and habit work for you.

        [–]eftresq 0 points1 point  (3 children)

        Shortly after meeting my wife I shared with her that I'm shallow, self centered, and selfish.

        She was over weight by 100 lbs at least. I told her I don't date women with bad eating habits. We have met but talked for about a year over the phone so I never saw her in person and ask pics were from the head up. I had a pretty good idea.

        She got so pissed off at me she quit her job and went to the gym twice a day. She dropped all that weight in about 4 months.

        Over the years much of it had come back and definitely affected the marriage negatively.

        She is not American.

        I could add more but I'm on mobile. Bottom line, overweight is unattractive to me and can affect a marriage negatively. Women, take care of your appearance and don't allow yourself to get fat... Particularly if your SO takes care of themselves physically.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–]eftresq 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          She lived with her sister and her sister was in on it... Losing the weight.

          [–]Mentathiel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's also not bad to pay attention not only to calories but your daily intake of different types of food.

          [–]chanoki 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Lol i got so much flack for hovering around 1200 calories a day. (I'm barely 5'1'"). when I was strict about it, i had no issues getting all my protein/carbs/fat in for the day and kept a decent amount of muscle mass in my glutes/hams and important areas.

          I'm going to go back to it, it wasn't too difficult. it made me realize how often i stuff my face. But when I told my girlfriends, it triggered them so bad. Best to keep it to yourself.

          [–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Oh, well your height explains it all. Ignore the triggering.

          [–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Let's be honest, most overweight and obese people probably aren't on a 2000 cal a day diet. Then again women of average height and average activity levels need less than that.

          Good post though. Losing weight is a very simple and just requires some discipline. Here is a great resource to figuring out how many calories you need to gain, lose, or maintain your weight based on age, sex, height, and weight:


          [–]mmmshortbread 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Ooooh! Good website! I actually think 2000 cal a day is so much! I currently aim for 1200 cal a day, give or take. I just want to main, but I'm almost afraid to go over 1300 a day! I recently lost so much weight and I love how I look now, but going up to 2000 again? That just sounds scary. I don't want to get fat again!

          [–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          If you have been dieting to lose weight and you've reached your goal weight, you're probably eating fewer calories than your body needs. Most doctors and resources recommend a number of calories that is below what you'd need at your goal weight so you lose weight quickly (1-2lbs/week). Once you get there you should adjust your intake up a bit.

          The number of calories you need can vary so much depending on your physical makeup, that's why I linked that site. For me to maintain my weight (140lbs at 5'7" which comes to a BMI of 21.9) it takes nearly 2200 cal according to this site. That being said I'm a pretty active person, and if I were sedentary I'd have to reduce that by 500 cal/day. It also takes age into consideration which is important since your metabolism eventually slows as you age.

          [–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          A funny story: I was just complaining to the BF the other day that I need to lose a few pounds; I'm fat. He said, "Where?" and I pinched my 'muffin top' to show him. He came up behind me, reached around grabbed my little roll of fat, squeezed it, then said, "It feels like an extra boob. You should get a nipple tattooed on it!" rofl

          [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

          I agree that BMI is a good starting point for people who are trying to lose weight. Once you get to a healthy BMI, then you can work on toning and adding muscle, and BMI won't be the most accurate measure of success. What does everyone think a good BMI to aim for would be? Basically 18 - 25 is considered normal, but I know many people believe that a woman's BMI should be 20 or below.

          [–]mmmshortbread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          My bmi is 22.5. If I went below 20, I would look seriously ill!

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          I realize now that I wasn't nearly hyperbolic enough. BMI is really only useful for studies and statistics. It is not a good measure for attractiveness or health. First, a woman's goal should be to be as healthy as possible. This means getting under control and managing any chronic health issues. Being healthy is attractive. Do Whole 30, start taking the right supplements, see your doctor and make sure you're only taking medicine that you need and that it's the right dosage. That type of thing. Then, once you're healthy set goals for fitness, including your ideal weight. As the responses highlighted that will look different for every woman. Different men are attracted to different characteristics, but it is still important to be at a weight and fitness level that allows you to maximize your attractiveness. For some women that might be a lower BMI because they look better very thin, and for others that might mean a higher BMI because they are well endowed. I don't think that following TRP doctrines and being a RPW requires you to be cookie cutter.

          [–]Starberryfizz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I agree! BMI is a very broad way to measure a personal success. I think the healthy range for my height ranges something like 35-40lb, it's not very helpful once you're in that range and looking for guidance. Accounting for frame size, even with the valid criticism that it is hard to measure it between different people, is a big factor. I know the old met life weight charts aren't perfect, but they are a lot more specific and helped me zero in on a goal weight range.

          Also, aim for a reasonable set of measurements rather than a clothing size, as those are painfully inconsistent. At least in the US, where vanity sizing is king. Speaking from experience, it is less bruising to the ego to go from brand x size 12 to brand y size 12 than it is to admit your ass grew by a more objective standard.

          [–]PinkFloweryBranches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          When my BMI is 24.2, I'm a size 8 and 150 lbs. I could only imagine how tiny I'd be if I tried to go by BMI. Personally, for my shape I think a size 6 is the smallest I should go, which would still be above a 20.
          That's why we were going by BMR, not BMI.