Am I 'redpill'? (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by redpillwomenmaybe

I was recently told by a close friend of mine who's staunchly "feminist" that I was holding women back by being so open and following of "lady redpil ideas".

I had no idea what this meant. I had heard of redpill, but not 'lady redpill'. I had to use google only to discover this subreddit. I thought I'd ask you what you thought on the subject and to judge for yourselves. If I am "redpill", it will change how I see repill and the ideas they claim.

  • I, as a stay at home mom, make sure the house is clean and laundry is done and food is waiting for Hubby when he gets home. This is my job and I take pride in my work.

  • I make sure that I always look good and take into consideration his tastes. I still have and wear some things he things are tacky, but few and far between. I get dressed in the morning and make sure I don't spend my days in pajamas. That would make like depressing as hell.

  • I buy food he likes and make things he likes because I like seeing him happy. That makes me happy.

  • If he asks me to do something, I do it. I know that he's not going to ask me to do anything crazy or outlandish so i just trust him. Why do I need to argue when I know he's asking me for a good reason?

  • I at least try every video game he likes, and I don't bug him about his video game usage. if he feels like he needs to play for 18+ hours, he must be stressed out and need an escape. I let him have it.

  • I make sure at functions that I always get him his food and drink first.

  • I visit him at work when I can and bring him lunches sometimes. I don't pack his lunch, as he likes to go out to eat with coworkers.

Now, I have ALWAYS been this way. I like putting him first because it makes ME happy. I get joy from him having joy. I

find it funny that she complains to me about her husband not helping her with the house, the kids, or when she's ill but when I offer her suggestions she gets crazy on me about how I'm killing women by being a stereotype.

Well, my husband without me asking:

  • insists on getting up with the baby. He says for me to be a mom during the day I need a good nights sleep

  • brings me flowers, gifts, and grabs my butt daily after 7 years of marriage

  • will take care of me if I'm sick and never complain if I ask for extra help now and again. He knows if I'm not making dinner or the house is messy, I must feel like hell.

  • encourages me to try new things and talks to me about my hobbies

  • will regulate his video game usage on his own and go days without playing some times just because he loves family time too.

  • brag about his hot wife that plays video games to his friends. Our house is even the hangout.

    I believe that every women has a right to choose what the want from life and no one should be told they are "wrong". Why is it so hard for her to understand that maybe some ladies LIKE making their partner happy?

If I am living a redpill lifestyle-I'll be blown away. I just figured I was treating my husband with love and respect. Isn't that what we all are supposed to do?

[–]StingrayVC 64 points65 points  (5 children)

I just figured I was treating my husband with love and respect.

This is what we teach and how we treat our men.

It doesn't matter if you consider yourself red pill or not. You are happy, your husband is happy and your family is happy. This is why your friend hates it. She can't do this with her family and she wants to bring you down as well. It would make her feel better.


If I am living a redpill lifestyle-I'll be blown away


[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 12 points13 points  (4 children)


I heard about TRP on multiple non-reddit websites long before I found this place, and nothing I heard was complimentary. I heard that it was full of misogyny, it was a breeding ground for abusers and rapists, and that there was no redeeming value. I lurked over at TRP mostly out of sick curiosity, and I'd see plenty of comments that backed up what I'd heard--especially if I looked specifically for them (funny how that works). If this is all someone knows, I'm sure they'd be shocked to realize their personal lives coincide with what the demon website endorses.

[–]vintagegirlgame 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You can find those comments when you look for them, and they'll seem very harsh out of context. But a woman visiting TRP is like eavesdropping on the men's locker room... Men naturally speak differently in an all male space and it's not for ladies ears (because women will take it personally and get their panties in a knot.)

At TRP, most men are focused on just getting laid, with a small percentage giving opinions on LTRs. The TRP LTR strategies coincide with what we focus on at RPW (though from the feminine perspective instead of the masculine). However the short term strategies that most men at TRP talk about are the exact opposite of what RPW is about. It's all the same concepts, but the goals and tools used vary depending on wether your a man or woman and what your goals are.

[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could not agree more. I just wanted to shed some light because honestly, I had the same reaction when I discovered RPW. Like oh my god, these are my people? But they're part of the red pill network? How is this even possible?! I think anyone with only a surface understanding of TRP would feel similarly, especially if they hear a lot about the worst parts.

[–]renegade 5 points6 points  (1 child)

There are a lot of newly TRP men (well, boys) who are full of rage and confusion. It comes spewing out as misogyny and negativity, a failure to understand the full picture. This is where that negative image comes from.

[–]cats_or_get_out 52 points53 points  (10 children)

I chuckle at the thought that one woman's private decisions could hold back the entire women's rights movements.

[–]SouthernPetite 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Let alone adherents of the "women's rights" movement condemning a woman for her private choices.

[–]cats_or_get_out 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Here's the thing. I support birth control, a woman's right to own property, the right to vote, the right to drive a car and a whole bunch of other rights that women in other countries don't have.

How did feminism go from that ^ to SJWs? And in that process, we (as a culture) are buying into this sex positive hookup culture and disposable marriage culture. Who does it hurt? It hurts everyone, but specifically it damages women.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I wrote about this transformation recently elsewhere, so if you will forgive the repetition...

Be careful of this word 'equality', it is a favoured weapon of feminists. 'I can't believe there are people in the 21st century who don't believe in equality!'. Yeah, right. But what does it mean?

Equal rights under the law. I believe in this, and therefore I'm anti-feminist, because feminists demonstrably do not. Women have greater rights, and feminists have always opposed any equalization.

Equal opportunities according to merit. I believe in this, a meritocracy is the best way forward for a society. Therefore I'm anti-feminist because they oppose it, and instead support quotas and 'positive discrimination'.

Possibly some, at least, feminists originally believed in the above, but they had a further dogmatic belief that screwed it all up.

Equalism The belief that there is a basic human stock and 'male' and 'female' are simply social constructs built on this common stock. Put boys in pink and give them dolls and you get a girl. This is complete bullshit, with lots of scientific evidence to give it a lie, but still favoured in Sociology and Gender Studies programmes. Given equalism, and the first two, I think many expected there to be equal numbers in all professions within a generation, because there is no difference between the sexes, right? But, it didn't happen. Look at the new feminist political party in the UK, this is what they talk about. They count: what proportion of judges are women? What proportion of company board members? What proportion of politicians? There is no a priori reason to expect any of these to be 50% unless you believe in equalism. Therefore, without making any attempt to actually discover whether any discrimination is taking place, they assume it must be. Which leads to

Outcome equality. Since there must be discrimination happening, then counter it with quotas, eg for company boards (EU, Norway), or STEM subjects or whatever. Of course, if there are more women (humanities, teaching) that isn't a problem, that just shows that women are superior, which is obvious to a feminist.

When feminists talk about equality now, they generally mean outcome equality. This does not allow people to make their own choices (eg, women seem to prefer to work with people rather than things, and this affects university course choice and job choice). I favour letting people make their own choices, even if it disagrees with dogma. As for 'patriarchy theory', that is so braindead I can't even be bothered.

[–]SouthernPetite 6 points7 points  (1 child)

They're spoiled, emotional children, and were raised to be that way. Children tend to think what they want is "fair" and what's best for them, but they're rarely correct.

[–]snbdmliss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Children tend to think what they want is "fair" and what's best for them, but they're rarely correct.

Not just children unfortunately, many (too many) people think this way standardly... recent generations are just beyond self important, selfish, narcissistic, entitled, etc. and have no real understanding of what it means to be a good citizen of the world, or a good human being to one another.

Makes me sad, but the only way I know to counteract it is just to be good and do good in the world. Change has to start somewhere.

[–]ColdEiric 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Read 1984 and you'll know why it's a crime to have different opinions.

[–]cats_or_get_out 7 points8 points  (3 children)

It was doubleplusgood.

[–]ColdEiric 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah. A couple of good books and some few, good friends. That's everything a person needs to vaccinate oneself from catching the nonsense.

[–]cats_or_get_out 2 points3 points  (1 child)

a couple of good books

Indeed! I'm a librarian. :-)

[–]alcockell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bung in Brave New World and you get the narcissism bit...

Having been in St John Ambulance - I dealt with the fallout..

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


[–]SantaFeFoundation 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Could be culture, though i'm also curious on how op learned these skills and lifestyle based on how the majority of women today act.

In my culture that's how women are expected to treat their husband. Like when OP said they were at an outing and she gets food for her husband first. In my culture men always eat first and once every man has had food served to them we eat. My mom has been a good example of the "RPW" lifestyle and I learned from there too. Could be OP's mom.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]littleteafox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is mostly me, too. I lean slightly more Taoist than Buddhist, but a lot of the basics are very similar. A lot of it is about balance (including the masculine and feminine), about yielding and being strong by being flexible (rigidity = more prone to breaking). I self-reflect a lot, and work constantly on bettering myself in ways both big and small. Question my motivations for doing or saying things (Is this really for them, or is this for me? Does this actually improve the situation?)

    Loving/caring for/nurturing others gives me the greatest joy.

    I've also seen an overwhelming amount of examples of what NOT to do. So many couples I know are unhappy, but don't want to change. They're just following the script society hands them and they don't know better, or don't care to.

    [–]FlowerAndWillowWorld 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I learned from example, largely by examples of what NOT to do. I spent most of my life single (lightly peppered with a few tame coffee dates), not meeting my husband until I was 26, so I had years of observing friends and my own mother to file away for later use.

    Just curious, would you consider yourself an introvert? Sometimes I wonder if introverted women are more likely to turn out "red pill" than other women. Introverts tend to be more careful and selective during social interactions, and also more introspective.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My culture is also very similar. My mother always got the food for everybody in the family. But we moved to the States, so here it's very different.

    [–]sareycatt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I think a lot of women who seem "naturally inclined" to be more red pill had good female role models growing up. I know my own beliefs on what a perfect relationship/marriage looks like is heavily influenced by my parents' relationship. My mom is pretty close to the ideals of this sub, and i know i picked up a lot of good things from her. On the other hand, nearly all of my former relationship-damaging beliefs came from society and "female empowerment" type stuff.

    [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    I was recently told by a close friend of mine who's staunchly "feminist" that I was holding women back

    This is true. Since the beginning of 2nd-wave feminism, women's happiness has declined both in absolute terms, and relative to men (they are now more unhappy than men, the reverse of the way it was) http://www.nber.org/papers/w14969.pdf

    Women are now on anti-depressants at rates three times higher than men. You don't seem to be blaming men for this. Please report to the nearest re-education facility immediately for reprogramming.

    [–]alcockell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ... "... the Computer is your friend. Trust noone! Keep your laser handy!"

    (if any of you remember the RPG PAranoia...

    [–]chestertons 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    This is the way I think many women would like their relationships to be, but they have been indoctrinated by a sadly narcissistic and short-sighted feminist culture that has poisoned family and marriage in much of the world.

    There is no one way to be happy; but being supportive, loving and self-aware is surely one of the better ways, and you encompass those values, good for you.

    [–]Disappear_vanish 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I have to admit that I'm biased when I say, you're living a pretty good life! You guys sound exactly like us, minus video games.

    You'd be shocked at how few women are willing to treat their husbands with respect. It's radical to a society full of succubi who see their men as a machine that spits out generic phrases of validation and $20 bills.

    [–]PremiumGoose 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    :) I also game with my SO. We have different coloured systems and IMHO couples that game together, stay together.

    [–]Poobaby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Sounds like you are happy and your friend is not, so she is jealous. Sorry about that, maybe ask her to not personally attack your decisions and respect you as a fellow woman. Hopefully her brand of "feminism" allows that women are smart enough to make their own choices and choose what is best for themselves.

    [–]FahneGirl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Shame on you woman. By treating your man like he deserves you are holding back 3.5 billion women. How do you live with yourself?

    [–]mangos_mangos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is exactly the type of relationship that I want to have in the future. I have more pleasure when I make my partner happy, take care of his needs, give him and show him all the love possible.

    [–]anitapk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    When my mom, a stay at home wife, proudly says that dad helps with the house, he does the dishes, irons his stuff and cleans I am almost afraid of saying that I'd never ask that of my man.

    It's seen as "taking back" the movement because we set higher standards for men's lives.

    [–]lacygnus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I've had these experiences before and in these moments I find it very helpful to do my best to exercise sympathy and understanding. When my friends would tell me that they would never bother making their man breakfast, lunch and dinner and then in the same breath complain that they weren't getting enough attention/affection from him, it would be frustrating to me. Why would he put effort into the relationship when they're clearly not willing to do the same?!

    But then I would consider it from their point of view that it's easier for them to pick at my relationship and my values than to take steps to fix their own.

    [–]manzone22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    3rd wave feminist in 1st worlds countries get their power from constantly shouting out that women are always the victim, too weak to think for themselves as men are all sexual predators which is why they are there to do the thinking for you and how you should be feeling. Then your friend notices that you are indeed a strong independent women with a brain that can think for herself that has found a lifestyle that makes you truly happy. So she sees it and and thinks "fu*k she sees through all the feminist BS" quick i need to do something before it catches on to other women and i start loosing my power base, so she goes for her trusted weapon of shaming tactics trying to shame you to come back to the feminist side so she can regain her power over you

    [–]jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I like putting him first because it makes ME happy. I get joy from him having joy.

    Feminism needs you to be miserable for you to buy into its ideology. If you're happy and have a great marriage, then you won't believe the lie that your "patriarchal shitlord husband" is oppressing you. Feminism is bad for women because it teaches them that they are victims when they are not. Keep showing your husband love and respect... And enjoying your wonderful life!