Thank you. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by Pandora023

I just want to thank this sub for all the ideas for being a better woman, for myself and my SO. It has given me a lot to think about and has been a sort of guide about how to be the woman I would like to be. Keep it up ladies.

[–]Beach_Baby 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Agree with you completely. I am lurking and not commenting, but I love what I'm learning and my 8 year marriage is flourishing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I would love to hear about that if you are ever in the mood for sharing :)

[–]Beach_Baby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

:) Of course. Thank you for asking.

I had a lot of what I would call battle scars from an ugly past and I was kind of going through the motions. He was miserable, I was miserable, and the kids were miserable. Sex felt like a chore, and we had essentially been downgraded to roommates for years. I cooked and cleaned and did the bare minimum, but I knew it was destroying a really good relationship. For his part, he was fantastic and way more understanding than he should have been at times, but it reached a point where I knew something needed to change and I was the only one who could make it happen. Interestingly, I had picked up Laura Doyle's book at Goodwill and it was sitting on my bookshelf for over a year waiting to be read. I picked it up and read it in 2 days, lol. It started a domino effect where I ended up reading an old Reddit post where a man described our situation almost exactly. As I was reading it I felt something in my heart unravel, and my heart was broken by the end both for him and my husband. Something just clicked. Before I knew it I ended up here. I realized I had created a broken man with my nonsense. It was like stepping into Narnia. A lot of my sudden changes seemed to elicit a response similar to battered wife syndrome, where he acted like he was unsure of me and this new behavior. I tend to get really excited about things and then if they don't go as planned I give up and I'm on to the next big plan. Instead I devoured every bit of RP knowledge I could find and began incorporating it into our lives. I have never seen him so happy with anything as I have just in the past month or so. It really strengthened my resolve to keep it up. We make time for stolen moments, and it's really beautiful. It's work, but only in the sense that I'm kind of reprogramming myself to handle things in a different way. Our family is worth that discomfort though and it will go away eventually. Giving up control has been the hardest part, but he handled things well before I came along - I know he's capable. He just needed to know I trust him. Our oldest daughter sees a therapist for some things that she's dealing with, and he and I see her to help us manage the issues that arise along the way. I voiced these concerns to her during my epiphany and mentioned how unrealistic my expectations can be of everyone and we got to a point where he admitted needing me to step back and let him take charge of some things. I'm thrilled to report that his words to her during the follow-up were that I gave him his manhood back and that he's more in love now than ever. You know how sometimes you can be looking to hear -something- but you don't know what that something is? Well, that was it. I didn't like who I had become because he deserved better, and he finally has it. :D

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a man, I learned so much by reading this sub over the last 48 hours. It has done a lot for me because I can see inside the mind of First Mates and see what I want in a future LTR with a woman.

What I learned from TRP is relationship dynamics, SMV, and how to increase SMV.

From RPW I learned that there ARE women out there who want to be a good First Mate and want to be in a committed relationship.

I further learned from RPW that in order to be a Captain, I have to be a man worth following. Reading some of your field reports about your LTR's and marriages has given me motivation because the end goal is easier to see because there is solid evidence it can be achieved.

It is definitely possible for someone of either gender to benefit from the experiences and wisdom within both subs. I thank all of you for sharing.

[–]coffee__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here! I've been lurking for a month or so. Since then I have made many small positive changes. Little things like being more pleasant with my SO, making more of an effort to make a special dinner, presenting myself better even just relaxing at home. I've always felt this way on some level but its so helpful to see it written out and hear other women's experiences! I'm 27, been with my fiance 7 years.

[–]2PantsLady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This subreddit is a wonder and all you ladies are so helpful. Totally agree

[–]vernicq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so happy I found this sub. It made me realize all the mistakes I was making in my previous relationships and has readied me for my potential current relationship. :) I cannot thank these wonderful ladies enough!

[–]iamz3ro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good work girls.