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THEORYBack to the basics - women are the gatekeepers of sex. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor

The natural state of men

At his core, every man is a worthless nothing, an undeserving nobody, a fraud and impostor. This isn't objectively true, but it is the way men view themselves and the way that women view men. Men must accomplish and achieve to become a something. Hence why men are human doings.

In other words - men operate from an emotional deficit, from minus zero.

The male world is also a strict meritocracy. Fake achievement means nothing and your feelings be damned. Higher achievement is more valued than lower achievement. So when a man tries to become a someone, his budding ego will constantly be knocked down by men and women alike.

Male sexual desire

If not for the extremely powerful male sexual desire, men would never interact with women, ever! Men and women are so different and hardly relate to one another. We're like foreign creatures who are annoying and who we can hardly relate to. So why bother with them at all? Add to that the male propensity to be alone and the question intensifies, why would a man ever interact with a woman?

Because sexual desire. That's why. Sexual desire in men is so strong that it'll override all logic and reason and draw a man towards a sexually appealing woman.

This desire tugs at men constantly. When he encounters an eligible woman, his eyes will take in her boobs/butt/figure and all kinds of things start firing in his head within a split second, before he's even conscious of having seen her. Only then can he avert his eyes/mind/attention elsewhere. Most men have good reason to avert their attention most of the time. Most men do this most of the time. It can be a battlefield in the male mind just walking down the street. Especially for young men. This may sound crazy to women, but it's true nonetheless.

Add this intense sexual desire to the feeling of being worthless described above and the man who dares to approach a woman is operating from an exponential emotional deficit!

Gatekeepers of sex

It's therefore no wonder why women hold all the sexual cards. The male desire for sex is that much more powerful + the male sense of worthlessness is ever present = a desperate need for female sexual desire and general approval of character.

When a man approaches you, every rational fiber of his being is telling him not to take the risk. His little head is what's driving him to you. This is as true for couples who are married for decades as it is for singles looking for a mate.

When a woman is not interested she thinks, no big deal, I'm just not interested. But to the man who approached her, he just put his whole being on the line and was tossed away. This is an unavoidable part of life that every man will experience many times. It's important for women to understand the power that they hold so they can use it constructively. Application of this idea will be a topic of a different post.

Conclusion

Men operate from a double deficit 1. An overwhelming sexual desire 2. The sense of worthlessness being the default. Therefore, women are the gatekeepers of sex.

Cheers!

Edit - back to the basics - men are the gatekeepers of commitment


[–]JeanBroady123 10 points11 points  (20 children)

At his core, every man is a worthless nothing, an undeserving nobody, a fraud and impostor.<

What is a woman at her core? How does she view herself and how do men view her? I am trying to understand the concept you are presenting, but I have to understand the feminine point of view for it to make sense. I could not survive without men because I need their strength and their "doing" as you put it, to live beyond the barest scratching out of an existence. Are you truly saying that other than sex and baby-making, men do not need women in their lives to be happy and satisfied?

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars 10 points11 points  (5 children)

What is a woman at her core?

Nothing. Most women are wired to value themselves based upon what others think of them. That's why men's bullying tends to be physical, whereas women's bullying tends to be emotional. A man is physically beaten to show him he's physically incapable. A woman is emotionally bullied to convince her she's worthless.

Are you truly saying that other than sex and baby-making, men do not need women in their lives to be happy and satisfied?

True. And low-libido men don't even need that. Look at the "grass-eaters" and other incel-type men in Japan for an example. They can't become anything in the real world because of how Japanese society stratifies, they will never have merit of the potential to have merit in life based on their society's standards, and so they check out. This plus their low-libidos means they literally don't need women at all, and so they lock themselves into virtual worlds where at least they have (mostly-male) community, acceptance, and virtual achievement.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Nothing.

This is the only part of your comment I disagree with. A woman at her core is a something. A human being who needs no excuse to exist. A human being who deserves to be sustained, loved desired etc just for existing. Doesn't mean this is objectively true. This is at the core of the female psyche. It'll be discussed in a future post in more detail.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars 4 points5 points  (2 children)

A human being who needs no excuse to exist. A human being who deserves to be sustained, loved desired etc just for existing. Doesn't mean this is objectively true. This is at the core of the female psyche.

I wasn't referring to her worth as a human being. Just as the original poster wrote:

At his core, every man is a worthless nothing, an undeserving nobody, a fraud and impostor

And I specified that a man gains value (i.e. stops being nothing) by accomplishment/merit/achievement, in other words when he starts to value himself, a woman gains value (stops being nothing) when she is valued by others.

This is about self-perception of one's value, about self-worth, not about the ACTUAL or intrinsic value or humanity of others. Please don't mistake my post for saying that women (or men, or anybody) is worth nothing.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is about self-perception of one's value, about self-worth, not about the ACTUAL or intrinsic value or humanity of others. Please don't mistake my post for saying that women (or men, or anybody) is worth nothing.

Yes. I know. I clarified this in the op as well (see part about the biblical idea of being created in the image of God).

Upon further thought, there is an element of female psyche as well that is the sense of nothingness, but I still maintain that the core of her perception of self is that of being a something. I'll need to contemplate all of this before writing the next post.

Once again - very good comments!

[–]JeanBroady123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is a woman at her core? How does she view herself and how do men view her?

And I specified that a man gains value (i.e. stops being nothing) by accomplishment/merit/achievement, in other words when he starts to value himself, a woman gains value (stops being nothing) when she is valued by others.

That makes sense to me.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (9 children)

What is a woman at her core? How does she view herself and how do men view her?

I welcome whoever wants to chime in on this to do so. I will discuss this in a future post on - men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

Part of why men are the gatekeepers of relationships is because women need men to live .

Are you truly saying that other than sex and baby-making, men do not need women in their lives to be happy and satisfied?

Absolutely. That's exactly what I'm saying.

The need for sex is extremely strong and men are often miserable when this need goes unfulfilled. This is how he needs you. However, by the same token, his need for you is fueled by sex and the emotions and outcomes associated with sex (intimacy, bonding, family, children, legacy etc).

[–]JeanBroady123 3 points4 points  (8 children)

So in essence a woman who will not meet a man's sexual needs and reap the outcomes (intimacy, bonding, family, children, legacy etc) brings no value or pleasure into his world? Is this what you are saying?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Take a look at any man in a sexless marriage. It's like the life has been ducked out of him.

Once you're married, there are other areas of value that you bring to your husbands world. Key word here is other because they all pale in comparison to the value of sex.

[–]JeanBroady123 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I am not talking about a woman's value in terms of marriage. I am talking about a woman's value in the world of men. I believe you are saying she has no value to any man who cannot have her sexually. Is this correct? I have made a few visits to the classrooms of male teachers I have worked with who have little contact with women in their daily routine. They are in a mostly male environment and they genuinely seem to enjoy having a woman around even though I am there on business and they have no hope of getting me in their bed. How do you explain this? Or am I just imagining they enjoyed my visit when I was really just a pain in the ass?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I believe you are saying she has no value to any man who cannot have her sexually. Is this correct?

Incorrect.

You can be driven by sexual lust even if actual sex is not on the table.

Many women come to know this when they get older and suddenly feel invisible.

Please search YouTube for - the power of lust. It's a very informative video.

[–]BewareTheOldMan 3 points4 points  (3 children)

These men and their general enjoyment of your presence is likely a nice break to a male-dominated environment. As long a woman is not disruptive in a male space, she likely will not elicit negative reaction/feedback.

They're nice because you're nice as there's no sexual possibility/connotation attached to your visit. I wouldn’t read too much into the situation.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    If you think that a comment or post goes against the values of the sub, use the report button.

    [–]Guywithgirlwithabike2 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That's an accurate assessment, yes.

    [–]BewareTheOldMan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    So... if this is helpful - women are necessary for sex and producing children. This is true for functional purposes.

    However, a woman's TRUE value comes from being so much more than a warm body - the inverse of the masculine in the feminine form that provides all the other virtues, characteristics, and qualities for which men are not normally associated - nurturing, loving, understanding, compassionate, and other feminine traits normally associated with women.

    Clearly - men can demonstrate and actualize feminine traits as men are not unfeeling cyborgs. It's simply accepted among many men that women emulate those qualities so much better...and in a natural, feminine way that a man can appreciate inasmuch as a man can appreciate a woman.

    This is what makes men even more attracted to a specific woman and helps get him to commitment, in addition to maintaining that commitment over the years.

    Some women have cracked the code and are doing just fine without coaching, coercion, or prodding - it's a genuine, natural effort. Smart men can discern genuine effort from disingenuous effort in the same way a woman can see a man’s true nature.

    Million-dollar questions:

    Is a woman feminine, loving, supporting, etc. in a way a man can appreciate while simultaneously demonstrating exceptional wife and mother qualities? (This holds pretty much the same/similar expectations a woman might be searching for except demonstrated in a masculine way.)

    Assuming he’s a Good Man, great husband and father, and High Value – how does a woman’s actions support and reinforce a man’s natural disposition to motivate him to endeavor and strive for continuous improvement to the benefit of his wife, children, and family?

    Bottom line - dude has to be productive. That productivity should benefit his family, society, and the country as a whole. Guys who are not doing anything don't get consideration. Smart men know this and act accordingly.

    [–]JeanBroady123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    However, a woman's TRUE value comes from being so much more than a warm body - the inverse of the masculine in the feminine form that provides all the other virtues, characteristics, and qualities for which men are not normally associated - nurturing, loving, understanding, compassionate, and other feminine traits normally associated with women.

    This! Thank you for clearing that up.

    [–]Kiddingyoself -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

    "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy women."

    Women are the fairer sex. Relative to men, women are desired by birthright... relative to each other, no doubt, too. Any woman with a healthy lifestyle will at some point in her life have the ability to take her pick of several partners. The same really can't, or shouldn't, be true for men in general.

    Women are quality control. Men are about quantity. 80/20. It's not foolish, or flawed, that women consider 80% of men below average. "Below average" is not the right description, obviously, but 80% of men are unworthy. This should always be the case! The higher quality the woman, the smaller the percentage of men who are worthy. Look into other animals to see how this works. The most impressive male's genes spread, to the health of the species. Women desire 20% of men. It could be said that men desire 80% of women. The percentages don't really matter; the point being that women desire a minority of men (if culture is healthy), and men desire the majority of women. This results in the highest quality women matching their genetics to the highest quality men.

    It's understandable why society's function with monogamous life partners. It turns out to be best case for children, but it's also a compromise... the spread of inferior genes which normally wouldn't get to reproduce, in order to prevent the rise up of the bottom 75%, or so, from killing off the men with the monopoly access to women.

    Women might decide that being one of multiple wives is their best option, and that's consistent with nature... but no healthy man would ever accept being one of multiple husbands for a woman.

    Kenneth Royce says it well in "Modules for Manhood", which I can't recommend enough for young men, or parents of young men... Becoming a "man" is an achievement. A boy is male, but he must pursue & achieve becoming a man.

    [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This should always be the case!

    While there are reasons as to why this is the case, there's no reason why this should be the case.

    There's this wonderful thing about human beings. That we aren't complete slaves to our biological drives the way other animals are. We can (to a degree) rise up above our base instincts.

    Sure, in the natural state, the dominance hierarchy is brutal. Alpha males constantly killing off each other and enslaving the weak men while breeding with dozens of women. However, this lifestyle is horrendously terrible for humanity even though it follows the natural order. Societies are built by bending and taming certain natural human instincts, drives and desires. That's how we have a functional society.

    The female desire to breed with the top dog is a good example of such a desire.

    [–]BewareTheOldMan 19 points20 points  (4 children)

    Well damn - in some way I want to dispute at least something in the summary posting, but alas it's very factual and relatively true down to almost every word.

    Base fact - save for sex and the desire to produce children/legacy, there's almost no need for men to interact with women.

    Testosterone is a tricky thing. Smart men and young men with proper guidance, coaching, and positive male role models understand their nature and keep their raging hormones in check to prevent the trouble that comes from leading with their "other brain."

    The basic format for most men is to gauge a woman's attractiveness, compatibility level, and will she be an outstanding wife and exceptional mother? I relay this message to young men all the time and they are mostly in general agreement.

    These same men also realize that to get the woman they want, they HAVE to be something other than an dead log. In short - make something of themselves just to have a shot and keep striving towards self-improvement.

    I submit most men don't mind the hard work as long as the woman is truly worth the effort.

    I also advise any young women inclined to listen that by virtue of this male desire, it's incumbent on them to establish terms, conditions, standards, and requirements for the desired relationship. As a High Value Woman (to him), men will meet and sometimes exceed those standards and requirements.

    Key phrase here is "High Value Woman."

    This seems one of the best ways for constructive use of this information to secure male commitment as "commitment" is the male variable to the Sex Equation.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]WhisperTRP Founder 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      The thing to remember is that withholding sex isn't game, it's capitalization.

      Game is what increases your leverage. You can capitalize on that to withhold sex if you want, but first you have to have it. A girl with no game withholding sex is like a neckbeard incel withholding commitment... no one asked him for any.

      Until you differentiate yourself, you are just another vagina in a world full of them. The only men a vagina alone gives you leverage over is the ones to whom vagina is scarce. Do you want anything to do with those men? Didn't think so.

      RPW wasn't founded to teach you what to do with your sexual power. It was created to teach you how to get it in the first place. Look, everyone gets it. Talking about how to use leverage is fun. It makes you feel powerful, and desirable, and special.

      But without seriously studying how to actually be desirable and special, and then seriously working to make that happen, the rest is just mental masturbation.

      [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The thing to remember is that withholding sex isn't game, it's capitalization.

      👌

      This distinction can't be stressed enough.

      [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Well damn - in some way I want to dispute at least something in the summary posting, but alas it's very factual and relatively true down to almost every word.

      Thank you kind sir. I was wondering what the men of RPW would think of this post.

      Base fact - save for sex and the desire to produce children/legacy, there's almost no need for men to interact with women.

      This is a very difficult for many women to internalize.

      I also advise any young women inclined to listen that by virtue of this male desire, it's incumbent on them to establish terms, conditions, standards, and requirements for the desired relationship. As a High Value Woman (to him), men will meet and sometimes exceed those standards and requirements.

      Absolutely!

      But if their requirements keep shifting, it may cause irreparable damage.

      [–]Fearofthedark88 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Who are you? I like you, op

      [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Am I supposed to reveal my identity now? 😉

      Thank you!

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        One of our rules is no doxxing, this means yourself of others. This question is inappropriate. Please review the sidebar, specificially the rules.

        [–]SKRedPill 6 points7 points  (15 children)

        Sense of worthlessness? Nah. Big misconception. I see statements like this every time a guy does something to achieve or improve himself. Perhaps it's their projection - statements like these reveal more about the speaker's mind than their subjects'.

        We never start from a position of worthlessness. Our need for achievement is a natural drive that comes from a feeling that we can do anything and change the world. It's more like +110. As children this is the default state. Fraud, imposter? Please... we are simple creatures...

        I know this is a female only space, but don't spread blatantly wrong stuff.

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 8 points9 points  (14 children)

        Our sense of achievement is a natural drive that comes from a feeling that we can do anything and change the world.

        Gotta disagree. Men don't feel achievement from a potential to do anything. We feel achievement from ACTUAL ACHIEVEMENTS.

        Boy is failing in schools? He turns to gaming and can at least dominate in CoD. Man can't hack it in college? At least he brings in a good income from his job.

        Men measure themselves in terms of what they have done, or on what they can actually (not potentially) do - accomplishments, earned skills, and conquests/victories. A man without these is either depressed and bottom tier, or he's feminized to the extreme where his validation is wholly external.

        Women like to talk about pie-in-the-sky potentials. "I'd love to be a baker," or whatever. It's talk, relating amongst women. Men tend not to do this. They say, "I am going to become an electrician," and then they do it. If they don't, they feel a sense of failure because they didn't accomplish what they said they would. Women aren't wired the same way.

        And that ties to women's validation, btw. Women validate primarily on external opinions of them, as opposed to men's internal validation. An accomplished man doesn't give a damn what others think of him because he knows what he has accomplished. He values - or doesn't value - himself on his demonstrable merits. This is what Players learn to do - to ape the confidence that comes from actual merit. Whereas women high-and-low can be brought to tears by external ridicule despite how accomplished they are because they value external validation more than internal.

        That's why men are the gatekeepers to relationships. A woman needs the validation of her man.

        If a man stops being a captain and starts being a simpering feminist or yes-man who doesn't validate her and instead seeks her validation, she loses attraction for him and the relationship will die.

        [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        +1 Star from u/loneliness-inc. Good job man!!

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Thank you.

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is a really good comment! I'd grant you a star if I could u/pearlsandstilettos

        [–]SKRedPill -2 points-1 points  (10 children)

        Should have worded it as our 'need for achievement', my bad.

        The feeling of being less than worthy comes because of failure to follow this natural drive to achieve, not the other way around - the point of origin as suggested by the OP is all wrong. All said and done, a sense of worthlessness is a paralyzing and unnatural force in a man - it must be answered by a drive to make oneself worthy and it must culminate in getting out of such a depression.

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 5 points6 points  (9 children)

        And too many men, looking at a life where they have lost everything, often through divorce, see only loss and failure. They no longer have a pile of achievement to point to (nice house, happy spouse, good job, nice car, happy kids, big bankroll, etc.) and see their value reduced to zero. And then they fall apart.

        Women in that same divorce scenario often find comfort in a new man, or receive comfort from society and their girlfriends. Their value - as it comes from others' validation - means that while the divorce will be rough on them, they'll survive it much easier than the man will.

        This is often different if the man initiates the divorce, because women are not practiced at handling rejection like men are. But that's less than 1/3 of all divorces.

        Doesn't mean either one is better or worse. But men and women derive value from different sources, and different scenarios will affect gain or loss of that value differently.

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

        And then they fall apart.

        And oftentimes kill themselves! That's how serious this is.

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 0 points1 point  (5 children)

        Yeah. Sadly, I'm quite aware. I was just was trying not to make it all about the menz. (And as I type that, part of my brain is saying "there goes another example of the male downplaying of masculine vulnerability.")

        [–]JeanBroady123 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        (And as I type that, part of my brain is saying "there goes another example of the male downplaying of masculine vulnerability.")

        Why? Because you are not expounding on it here? Most of the women who read here get it. We do sympathize with men who lose everything. Please don't lay the guilt on us when you admit women place a great deal of their self-worth on how they are viewed by others.

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Actually I wasn't trying to guilt anyone... though I can see how it could be perceived that way. I just found it rather ironic and worth commenting on that I could see what I was doing even as I was doing it, and how even a RP-aware person isn't wholly immune to these tendencies.

        [–]JeanBroady123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No worries. I agree with you on your assessment. As a woman, I place my sense of self-worth on how I think others perceive me. Guilt is a big part of my life because it is a intrinsic reaction to those situations where I feel like I have either not tried or I let some one down, even though many times I really had no control over the situation. I think it is a compassion thing.

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Most of the women who read here get it.

        I see no evidence of that. I see no reason to make such an assumption.

        [–]SKRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Maybe, I don't believe that humanity has become heartless, but see, that's all those guys get - pity. Not much else.

        [–]SKRedPill -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

        There is also something called an intrinsic sense of worth.

        [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Yes. And there's also something called an extrinsic sense of worth. And men and women come by both of these differently, and in different amounts.

        [–]derpicus-pugicus 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        Um... perhaps I’m simply too young but I’ve never been driven to interact with women simply because I find them sexually attractive. I do it because they’re nice people, the few that are anyway(I’m in high school for context, so I don’t particularly find shallow morons interesting, which the majority of the ones at my school are) I try to help them with their problems and just be there for them in general, as a friend. To me, sexual desire isn’t a part of making that decision. Which is also annoying because sometimes they “fall for me” even though we’re in fucking high school and they don’t know what love is but I digress, what do you think my reason for interacting with them would be? I think it’s just me making friends

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Um... perhaps I’m simply too young but I’ve never been driven to interact with women simply because I find them sexually attractive.

        Convince yourself kiddo. There have been studies done that demonstrate just how much we're influenced by sexual desire. It's not always conscious but that doesn't mean it isn't there. Search YouTube for - the power of lust.

        I do it because they’re nice people, the few that are anyway

        Niceness isn't an inherently female trait. On the contrary, the reason why there's a stereotype of a "nice guy" is because being nice is more of a male character trait. Girls are mean, that's why there's a stereotype of the mean girl. The fact that you see the girls as being inherently nice, further demonstrates how much you're driven by lust to the point where mean is seen as nice.

        Of course, boys can be mean and girls can be nice, but those are learned behaviors. TRP teaches men how to toughen up, RPW teaches women how to soften up. These don't come naturally, that's why we need to learn these things.

        (I’m in high school for context,

        It's quite obvious 😀

        so I don’t particularly find shallow morons interesting, which the majority of the ones at my school are)

        Yeye....

        Hey, gain some life experience before knocking other people as being shallow morons.

        I try to help them with their problems and just be there for them in general, as a friend. To me, sexual desire isn’t a part of making that decision.

        Keep convincing yourself. No one is buying it. You're just a good old orbiter. It's natural for you to do this, but it will hurt you in the long run.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Women can get sex whenever they want, so they dont want it.

        Men can get commitment easily in most cases so we dont want that shit.

        This creates a situation where men and women both have something the other wants. Which is why homosexuals make no sense to me.

        [–]derpicus-pugicus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I have a girlfriend. I don’t particularly want to have sex but I oblige her. Relationships aren’t about getting something the other has it’s about the genuine care you have for each other. Perhaps you should start trying for relationships that aren’t entirely based around you trying to get sex

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I saw a study on female sexuality where they were shown sexual imagery, and their vaginas gave a different response than their brains. Their brains were delayed in feeling arousal. I don't necessarily disagree with your ideas, but I lean towards the belief that the female sex drive is wired to be more choosy than the male one, due to the risk and cost of childbirth in having sex, and this is primarily why Briffault's Law and the sexual gatekeeper idea exists.

        I didn't look for and post the study because I'm exhausted, and I'm lounging back in a chair and sipping on a Chocolate Oreo milkshake, so you do have every right to use that against me sir.

        I'd also say that I think there is some sort of continuation of the parent-child bond in the desire for romance that could only be potentially destroyed with complete eradication of the sex drive. I think that men want women for nurturing that is connected to sex, but also beyond sex, if that makes sense; in the early days of Youtube MGTOW, they used to call this "Male Mother Need", but I always preferred to keep it gender-neutral and call it "Romantic Nurturer Need". Some pick-up artists for instance will claim that they only want women for sex, but will attack other men for choosing to masturbate instead; the reality is that the PUA isn't just getting fulfillment from the casual sex, but the woman's entire presence and everything that entails is fulfilling romantic nurturer need to some extent. Just my two cents.

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Search YouTube for - the power of lust. You'll find that experiment in that video. I don't see how that disproves anything I said, please clarify.

        If you're trying to prove that women really want sex as much as men, it does not prove this at all. We can pontificate all day long as to why women want less sex than men, but that won't change the fact that they do indeed desire sex less often than men. Any theory and practice that emanates from it ought to respect this fact. If you have a way to get around it and cause your woman to crave sex like you do, wonderful! But that still doesn't change the fact that women crave sex less than men.

        The third paragraph in your comment makes no sense to me.

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Okay, I think I made a mistake. I see that you wrote men have extreme sexual desire in your article, but not that women generally have less sexual desire, which confused me. So we are actually in agreement there.

        To clarify my third paragraph, if sex was the only reason for a romantic relationship, there would be no reason for monogamy. I am trying to find words to describe monogamy as something that goes beyond just sex. An example of this are people who claim to be asexual, but are still romantic, and desire romance. I don't have all the answers, but this is a big question mark for me. So just throwing out that idea.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [removed]

        [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        What I wrote holds true. The default sense of self for men is to feel worthless. The often subconscious way that women view and treat their men, only confirms and reinforces this sense of worthlessness.

        Say what you want, but if you think this is absolutely not true, you don't know the first thing about men! It's highly probable that you'll exacerbate this feeling of worthlessness within the men in your life as a result of this lack of understanding (and now, refusal to understand).

        [–]d3gu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don't know about ALL men, but considering I am 30 years old, in a relationship and am a Masters degree trained psychotherapist/counsellor I like to think I know a fair bit about people. And men are people. And the men in my life (friends, bf, family etc) seem pretty happy to me. I guess that's the important thing.

        I'd say if certain men feel default-worthless then they need to work on boosting their own self-esteem and confidence. I would be wary of people who blame their self-worth solely on what all women as a gender think of them. It smacks of dependance and a lack of self-awareness, plus the unattractive tendency to refuse to take control of your own actions/life.