We’ve been circling around discussions of “Alpha” and “Beta” men recently and I think it’s time to get back to understanding the similarities among all men. Your mix of alpha/beta may be completely different from my mix of alpha/beta but there are certain aspects of masculinity and male thinking that are going to be close to universal, AMALT if you will.
These foundations of masculine thinking are of the utmost importance for women to understand if we hope to create happy fulfilling relationships for both ourselves and our partners.
For Women Only had a huge impact on the way that I understood my Husband and helped me to start making tweaks to my behavior that lead us to a happier more harmonious relationship.
The author surveyed (American) men from all walks of life and reported her findings in this book. She takes a (mostly) amoral approach to the way that men think and feel. She dives into their inner lives through anecdotes and the results of her questionnaires, finding some key commonalities that most men share.
Some of the book leans on a Christian worldview. I will be glossing over the parts that I do not believe are applicable across the board, but I will touch on them if it makes sense. The information is solid regardless of your background. I’m not a churchgoer myself, so I’m asking for a bit of trust on this.
There is also “For Men Only” that deals with the inner workings of women. One idea (not mine) is to read both books together with your partner and discuss the differences in how men and women approach the world. The author mentions that many churches have begun to use this for their pre-marriage classes.
I highly recommend that everyone picks up this book. The Audible version is read by the author and is about a 4 hour listen while you are going about your day. You won’t regret the time.
That said, I know my personal backlog of reading is enormous. So for everyone who doesn’t have the time, energy or Audible account to go through this herself, I’ll be writing summaries of each chapter. For the sake of brevity (something I’m not good at as you may have noticed) I’m going to stick to the authors words, advice and opinions in each post. The posts will be long enough doing just that. If you have questions or need something expanded upon, I’ll happily get into that in the comments with you.
Finally, of note, the author uses surveys and interviews. In no case does she say that ALL men feel a particular way. Her research shows that most men behave or think as described. Let’s generalize about men rather than discuss why “my guy isn’t like that” or “I’m a girl and I do that too”.
For Women Only - Respect and Love - Chapter 2