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[RANT] I'm Getting Bullied By Tumblr Feminists (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor

Okay, so I have this tumblr blog. I have always made sure to stay far, faaaar away from the feminist and social justice warrior side of the site. It's a personal one, I post art there and some ramblings from time to time. Yesterday, I made a small post about being a virgin, and how I can't wait to start having sex.

Then I received an anonymous question:

Aren't you too old to be a virgin in your twenties? If you want to have sex so much then why don't you just hook up with someone?

Okay, innocent enough question. I answered with this:

I want my first to be with someone I'm comfortable and relaxed with, and whom at the very least dating. I can't sleep with a stranger because it's super risky, and I won't be able to enjoy it because of my self-consciousness.

I thought that was a safe answer. I logged out and went to bed. When I woke up, I had 87 messages in my inbox.

Holy shit.

EIGHTY FUCKING SEVEN.

And they were all hate mail!

I started reading through them, and they were all regarding my answer to that virginity question! Some examples were:

  • You're a fucking slut shamer, you know that?
  • God, what a prude. And you say you're an atheist!
  • "Oh look at me, I'm complaining about being virgin but I don't want to sleep with strangers, that's slutty!" God, get your head out of your ass you slut shamer.
  • You're an idiot, waiting for prince charming to take away your v-card. You're not special.
  • Oh so what, you're too good for one night stands? What a fucking prude.
  • Lol the internalized oppression is strong in this one.

And my favorite:

  • No one wants to fuck you because you're a fat slut shamer. - this was said by a fat activist who weighed 250lbs

I have never been so insulted in my life. I stayed this way partly because of incel, though I have and still am fixing myself, I feel like crying because I feel like a freak for being a virgin in my twenties (forgive the hamstering). It's infuriating that these women would encourage young girls to fuck around while shaming and bullying the ones who refuse to, while asking other feminists to join in on the bullying and shaming!

I'm just soooo angry and sad right now. I only came here to rant because I know that this is one of the few feminist-free spaces here in the internet.

EDIT: My hate mail is now in the hundreds. It's kinda sad now really. Some people that had reserved some commission slots have now backed out because of this fiasco, and that they believed that I was in the wrong. Welp, there goes $60 :p


[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is a great post, thanks :)

[–]LadyLumen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hate how loosely the word "privilege" gets thrown around these days. Once on facebook I said that fat acceptance wasn't healthy, because being overweight causes health problems. I was told that I only felt this way because of my "skinny privilege." Right, nevermind the fact that I'm trying really hard to go to the gym and keep a strict diet every day to fend off the 20 pounds I gained after taking a desk job.

I think it's ignorant to tell people that they have some special privilege if you don't know anything about their life circumstances. Maybe that person grew up in a bad neighborhood, was an orphan, was sexually molested as a child and so on. You should never throw assumptions at people and tell them that they are not allowed to have opinions, because you don't like those opinions.

These people commenting on your blog sound very angry and bitter towards life. Delete their asses and laugh at their stupidity.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Tot, I bequeath to you my motto:

"wear proudly the scorn of fools"

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

These people aren't angry at you.

They're angry at themselves for the mistakes they've made. Mistakes you haven't made.

They're threatened by you. Which is much more powerful.

Each and every single piece of hate mail you recieve is a projection of their greatest insecurities.

You're a fucking slut shamer, you know that?

I'm a slut

You're an idiot, waiting for prince charming to take away your v-card. You're not special.

I wish my first wasn't a drunken fling

No one wants to fuck you because you're a fat slut shamer. - this was said by a fat activist who weighed 250lbs

No one even uses me as a slumpbuster

Each and every piece of hatemail you get on this is a compliment from a girl terrified of the decisions she's made and the way her life is turning out, knowing that each bad decision has eroded both her worth and self confidence.

How dare you not make the same mistakes they do. How dare you not jump off the bridge because everyone else is doing it.

Its your body. You get to make the decisions. They're just pissed because you haven't taken the easy way out like they have.

[–]Offensive_Brute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Misery loves company as they say.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (13 children)

why care what people who are wrong think?

[–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 21 points22 points  (11 children)

I'm on my period so I'm really emotional.

I'm just a really self-conscious person -.-

I know they're wrong, and I sure as hell won't be taking their "advice" I just can't believe why they would condone bullying someone who doesn't fit into their feminist mold. I wasn't even trying to anger them, yet they spewed out things with such vitriol.

I'm done playing nice with these feminists on Tumblr. My blog's going to go full RP now.

[–]LifterofThings 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I just can't believe why they would condone bullying someone who doesn't fit into their feminist mold

Believe it. It's a lot harder to cultivate inner strength in your convictions than it is to tear down people who don't agree with you-- particularly on the internet.

It's your life, do what you want to do with it. Lions do not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep, etc etc. Chin up, don't let it get to ya :)

[–]MegMartinson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever hear the term: Mean Girls?

That's what you are dealing with. Think of middle school, high school. The cliquish girls whose families may have had more money than yours, the pretty ones, the cheerleaders, ... you know, miserable cunts.

That's who you are dealing with now. They are just a bit older.

Tip: do NOT respond at all to their bait. Ignore them.

[–]HumanSockPuppetEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You needn't even aim for vengeance.

Just aim for personal satisfaction. Nothing they can say can ever overcome the feeling of real happiness that comes from success, dedication, and love kindled through effort and mutual respect.

Let dumb fat cunts be dumb and fat. They just want to drag you down with them.

Simply rise above their reach.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They've always been bullies. They accused normal women of "false consciousness" for wanting to be mom's and wives in the 70's and pressures women out of the home, much to their detriment

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

I laughed at your first statement.

But for real, don't let them get to you. They're catty because you believe in something different from them. They're probably angry that someone doesn't want to play by their rules.

That being said, I would love to join you in RP Tumblr blogs. I haven't touched that site in a while because of the feminists.

[–]AwwYissMane 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There are RP Tumblr blogs? Where?

If there are any, I would love to follow them. Actually, if any of you ladies have a tumblr let me know and I'll follow you if you'd like. I'd love to meet more women with a RP mindset on social media!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they exist, but they're probably buried. Most of the blogging RP community is on Wordpress instead.

[–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Ugh, I honestly don't think tumblr is the best platform for an RP blog, you'd be getting hatemail by the hundreds (it'd be pretty hilarious though.)

My blog is an art blog where I usually take commissions. There are some personal posts too, but I try to keep it at a minimum.

[–]We_Are_Legion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand tumblr, but hatemail... do you get that because you're popular? Is saying anything against the circlejerk automatically popular?

It must be a feeding ground for trolls.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, yeah, believe me, I know. I've only had a couple of successful posts taking down third wave feminism and the social justice warriors. Wordpress is a bit safer.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would be pissed about the list business.

[–]little_red_ 19 points20 points  (4 children)

A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinions of sheep.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]little_red_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Constructive stuff right here. Thanks for your input.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]little_red_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Sunday is GoT. Lions.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

      [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Yes, since when does "I personally wouldn't feel comfortable doing this" mean "other people who choose to do this are terrible, gross people." Just because you choose not to live like someone else doesn't mean you think their lifestyle is shameful.

      [–]SweetPinkCuntCake 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      I lost my virginity at 15 to someone during a drunken night only because my friend was losing hers too. I really regret not having my first time be more meaningful. It didn't have to be super special, but at least a little special!

      [–]SandwichCrazy 11 points12 points  (3 children)

      Isn't it funny how those who demand acceptance/tolerance from others are rarely accepting/tolerant of others?

      It's easy for these people to be "tough" behind a computer screen. The anonymity of the internet gives people courage they wouldn't otherwise have. Fuck em, only theToastTot can decide what's best for theToastTot...not some misguided, miserable feminists who couldn't keep a man happy if they wanted to.

      Oh, and you should post a link to your blog :)

      [–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Yeah, I started looking at the blogs of some of these feminists, and am pleased that they have "Where have all the nice guys gone?" Type of posts. One was even complaining about her FWB not wanting to be serious with her. Well, maybe if they offered something more than anal sex, then they'd get a decent man :p

      I don't think I'll post my blog here, I'm kinda trying to make this account as anonymous as possible.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      For comedic value I wouldn't mind reading some of those tumblr feminazi posts, link?

      [–]gprime312 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Post some good ones to /r/tumblrinaction Also, I'd keep a personal blog and a blog for commissions separate. You never know what stupid bullshit tumblr might attack you and your commissioners for.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Crabs in the bucket. They want you to become a fat slut like them so that you are no longer competition for male attention.

      [–]blushing_goddess 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      This fucking pisses me off. Odds are, they all lost it to a guy who pumped and dumped, and they regret it.

      I waited until I was in love...and then I waited 8 more months. I have never once regretted losing my virginity. I was 17 at the time, and I was emotionally ready.

      Fuck the tumblerfemmes. They're awful people. Even feminists hate them.

      You wait until you've met someone who can make it special. It's really wonderful to have known that you have a precious gift to someone who would appreciate it. Or don't wait, but it's up to you! Screw them.

      [–]sugarcrushEndorsed Contributor 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      Please don't feed the trolls, dear.

      If this is causing you to lose business I would go ahead and shut this down and move to another space, preferably under a new name. At the very least close comments and delete the past negative ones. In the future, try to keep your money making ventures and personal life stuff separate, unless they are somehow related.

      [–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, thanks for the advice. I've disabled anonymous asks and block the users that harass me. I've deleted the messages I've answered, thought I can't really do anything about the comments. I also can't move or change sites because tumblr is where I get most of my clients.

      I'll definitely stop posting personal stuff though. It's bad for business apparently.

      [–]swift-heart 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      sorry to hear about the lost commissions and the fact that that they're continuing to harass you. you should probably disable your ask box and take a little break from tumblr. i would love to find a decent community for sharing artwork and whatnot but tumblr isn't it...

      gotta love that feminist hypocrisy :/

      [–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, I already disabled anonymous asks and deleted the ones I've answered. Once I'm done with the rest of the commissions I'll take a break from tumblr -.-

      I can't really leave though, I have quite a following and that's where most of my clients are.

      [–]Pink_acetaminophen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      That's hilarious. Don't feel bad because it's obvious those comments are from hypocritical bullies. You're not alone.

      [–]maloner1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm sorry this happened to you. Your reasons are sound, and you weren't shaming anyone! definitely a lot of projection in the tumblr responses. sad. good luck to you! :)

      [–]SirNemesis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You have every right to respond in kind. The reason these women are so angry is because they feel uneasy about their own sluttiness. Given how they're treating you, I think it's only fair for you to (privately) reply to them with outright slut-shaming. Some nice phrases like "cum-dumpster" should do the trick.

      [–]herewegoaga1n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Sorry, idiots have apparently learned how to use tumblr. It should be your preference and your choice. Fuck other people.

      [–]nate1414 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm stumbling upon random subreddits using the RANDOM feature, and this post was hilarious. Before you get me wrong, I was laughing on the hate mail you received. I just find it ridiculous they got so offended by your post hahaha. Your choices are actually understandable, and I respect a woman that knows what she wants.

      Just ignore the hate, something I've learned loooong ago by staying on the internet, it gets really funny after a while.

      Now back to the RANDOM button for me !

      [–]gprime312 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      They're all jealous of your self-respect. Pay no attention to them.

      [–]Offensive_Brute 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Shame comes from within. Another person can't make you feel ashamed. If you feel ashamed, its because of your own shameful behavior. Your own conscience inflicts shame upon you, not some external source.

      [–]TheSuperRedneck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Hey I just want to say good for you for A ) putting some value in yourself and sex with you, and B ) standing up for yourself against these people.

      [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Ya know, I was just thinking about how much third wave feminism in particular can go suck a bag of dicks. I need to go have a damn glass of wine. My advice is to get the hell off of Tumblr and never look back.

      Seriously, though, those people are miserable, psychotic idiots who are going to remain miserable as long as they hold onto their completely, laughably ridiculous views.

      [–]johngalt1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "third wave feminism in particular can go suck a bag of dicks" They got no dick to suck.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

      [–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Yeah, let's just continue losing weight and not being a slut and watch these feminists get jealous and make a post about "slut/fat shaming" in tumblr.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      My heart sank reading some of those things. Delete them and never read them again. If you get anymore, delete them as soon as you notice they're hate mail.

      You're doing the right thing by not being a pathetic slut like all of those girls. Don't let them get you down. :)

      [–]gabilromariz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Don't mind them. These people have no idea what they are doing! They're all for equality and choices, as long as everyone chooses their choices -.-

      Like any feminist would tell you in any other circunstance: your body, your choice

      And try to listen to what they are really trying to say, to laugh it off more easily:

      • You're a fucking slut shamer, you know that? I'm ashamed of being a fucking slut, you know that?
      • God, what a prude. And you say you're an atheist! God, all atheists are supposed to be like me
      • "Oh look at me, I'm complaining about being virgin but I don't want to sleep with strangers, that's slutty!" God, get your head out of your ass you slut shamer. "Oh look at me, I'm complaining about being slut but I don't want to tolerate different people, that's stupid!" God, get my head out of this random ons's ass
      • You're an idiot, waiting for prince charming to take away your v-card. You're not special.I'm an idiot, not waiting for prince charming to take away my v-card. It's unfair that you get a special first time
      • Oh so what, you're too good for one night stands? What a fucking prude. Oh so what, I'm not good enough for a real relationship? What a fucking dumbass I was
      • Lol the internalized oppression is strong in this one. Lol, I'm so liberated I can have sex with anyone, consequences are for future-me
      • No one wants to fuck you because you're a fat slut shamer. No one wants to fuck me because I'm a fat shamer

      [–]DevilishRogue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "The scorn of idiots is the highest praise"

      DevilishRogue, 2014

      [–]rpBlueSkye 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      The internet's reaction to things is why I mostly lurk in places now. No one can have a civilized opinion or thought without being called out on it.

      I think one of the reasons for this is 1.the anonymity of the web, but also 2.When we type things out, we tend to write the first thing we think of, or the first thought in our head. Because of the anonymity of the web there's no need to "think before you speak". We would never say those things to an actual human being, but oh look, here are my thoughts! My thoughts must be right because I typed them! If people just gave it like, I don't know, 5 minutes to think about what they are about to send, the internet just might be a little better...

      But don't let them get to you. you obviously have love and support here. I just hate that they are accusing you of slut shaming, when they are mirroring their own words and virgin shaming. Which, doesn't that go against what feminists say? A women should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies... >.>

      [–]Newwby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I was just lurking here (almost poetic) but I wanted to come say that yeah, I totally agree with you on that.

      Part of the reason I started posting lengthier replies anytime I had something to say was that it forced me to reread and evaluate what I was posting as I wrote. By spending more time writing I end up tricking myself into spending more time thinking about what it is I exactly want to say, and by the end of my post I've usually revised it to make sure it's actually somewhat thought out.

      We would be better people if we thought more on what we said. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I think the internet would be a better place if people just paused, just for a moment, and took more time with what they wrote. Instead of keyboard vomiting everywhere.

      [–]alcockell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "A women should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies..."

      AKA - "I don't like that there's God's immutable laws and consequences"..

      Laughing at those idiots in Tumblr - have a drink on me... and if you want to send some of the copy to us MGTOWs... we'll help with the Hamster translations..

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You've learned a valuable lesson - mixing business and voicing personal views can be problematic. I recommend setting up a deviantart account, or an etsy shop - stick to posting only artwork and taking commissions there. Leave your opinions to a blog with a name that can't be connected to any of your other personal sites.

      When you're on the internet - people will not hesitate to create drama out of thin air. You will never change their opinions, so don't even bother trying. Laugh at the idiotic things they say and be happy about the life you have created for yourself.

      [–]johngalt1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Templr degenerates are angry.

      Laugh at them: http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/12/05/how-i-kicked-dirt-into-a-feminists-face/

      Not only did he laugh at them. But he used their outrage to make himself money and get popular.

      [–]seeingpee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'm a male, be a virgin for as long as you want.. it's literally none of people's business..All the more power to you

      [–]johnnight1 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      There are always moral transgressors in a society. They are ashamed of themselves. If there are a few of them, they keep quiet and hide. But what happens to a society composed of thieves? Of whores?

      I had this realization that if there are enough of them in a society, they will try to change the social rules to erase the source of their shame. They will try to recruit more members to their group. Then they will attack everyone, who does not want to take part in their activities, because he/she does remind them of their sin. Deep down below they afraid that it is sin and they desperately want to be assured that it is not. ( I am using some words of religious connotation here, because they are closest to the meaning of the issues at hand.)

      This has happened to you here. Your existence is a thorn to them. A painful reminder of their sinfulness. Their motivation is so strong, because it is based on fear and self-preservation. It is much stronger than the motivation of people, who would counteract them.

      Look, if they thought that you are making a mistake, they wouldn't care much about your mistake. They would maybe look down on you, but they would not be aggressive. The aggressiveness of their response tells me that they feel personal danger coming from what you wrote. Their egos are in danger.

      My conclusion would be that you should not change your behavior. They did not give you a rational reason to change your mind. Their attack was irrational, emotional and manipulative. They wanted you to change your behavior, so that they would benefit on an emotional level.

      I once read that people of strong convictions have this trait, where all the verbal onslaught that they are facing from their enemies is only strengthening them in their certainty that what they are doing is right. Continue doing what you believe is in your own best interest. Enjoy their anger. Enjoy being the unmovable rock.

      [–]MrsStrom 4 points5 points  (7 children)

      They sound jealous that they didn't do the same as you. Crab mentality at it best. You're fine. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Keep your head up.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      There is if the person wants to lose their virginity with someone but cannot, for whatever reason, make that happen. Virginity can speak to a moral or pragmatic decision upon the person, but it can also represent a failure to socialize or to exhibit attractiveness. OP mentioned that she's battled with incel (and probably still does) which indicates she's not happy with not having a sexual relationship yet. I suspect that the "shame" that she's feeling after reading those messages to her triggers a lot of those unfortunate feelings within her.

      Now, that's not to say that those feelings go away just because she gets laid. No. They go away when addressed and resolved in a healthy way. What that means specifically, I don't know. But what I do know is that why someone is the they way they are often better explains who they are, where as not knowing why and then creating your own, tells more about yourself.

      [–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

      All throughout my teens I did battle incel, however, when I lost weight and started taking care of my appearance, I have had lots of opportunities to have sex. However, these opportunities were all casual hook ups, which I chose not to partake in. Yes, those messages were quite triggering, it made me feel like all the changes I made were for naught, but that was just an initial reaction.

      I spent my teens believing in feminism and fat acceptance, and that took a huge (heh) toll on me. I'm still in the process of bettering myself and resolving my issues in a healthy way.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      It's a little difficult to believe that all of the sexual advances made your way were geared towards casual non committal sex. Surely some of those men were interested in something more long term. I understand as a RPW you cannot trust that sex will lead to a relationship.

      But how do you discern a man who wants an LTR from a casual fling when both initiate with sexual interest first? I suppose this is a conundrum for the lot of you. I suspect in your case you might be associating initial sexual interest with strictly a casual interest. This just isn't always the case.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      its the biggest advice problem we face, if a girl tries to wait to have sex til she thinks commitment is in the offing but gets dumped, she'll ratchet up a notch count even if shes trying NOT to, if she doesnt have sex after a certain amount of time she'll get dumped.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Yeah, the paradox of gender dynamics is difficult to manage. I'm a recovering BP, but even as a practicing/learning RP man, I don't want flings and ONSs. But, my experience has been that if I approach a woman with an attitude towards commitment, my success rate plummets and I'm viewed as lacking in affection or needy. Yet, if I'm cavalier about sex, women are more receptive and see me as, for lack of a better term, "normal." But, the more they reciprocate my sexual attitude upon first meeting them, the more I categorize them as a plate, and not LTR material. Round and round we go.

      I understand that a similar problem exists on your side of the gender spectrum. I wish we could just wear little pins on our lapels of red pills so we can see from the start that we share the same perspective on all of this. I'd like to communicate openly and honestly about these dynamics without suffocating ourselves in the milieu of subtext and undertones.

      I want to play games on my xbox, not on the women I'm fond of.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It's always games, even after 10 years together. That's how the humans work.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Noted.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      These people are jealous of you. Really. They see you taking you're life seriously and thinking out major decisions and they hate it. Sorry.

      [–]logi_thebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The thing here is, you never mentioned anything about your view of people doing the opposite, only what you preferred and you were comfortable with. I believe this is a case where, as the saying goes, they're pointing one finger at you while the rest of their's are aiming at them - by calling you a slut shammer they are labeling themselves as sluts. Don't get down or mad, be proud that you're doing something and living your life in a manner that makes people look at their's and feel ashamed for their actions without you saying a single word about what they're doing.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Youtube is more important, and most popular feminist youtube videos get massive dislikes when they don't disable ratings. Tumblr is just an online place for feminists to retreat.

      [–]jeezydasnowman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Male perspective here. RPM have to deal with white knights, Fems and PC-preachers are a RPW version of white knights.

      [–]LadyLumen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I lost my virginity to a hook up who was just a friend. I remember regretting my actions. I felt absolutely nothing, like I was getting an examination at the doctor's or something like that. It was only when I had sex with a guy I loved that the sex was actually enjoyable.

      [–]Yeah-RIght 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I know it's hard but don't listen to them. I think most of them would regret their first time and are slightly jealous. I commend you for not rushing in and yes, you are special but not because you are a virgin, because you are you!