METAA Rule Update - "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself" (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I’d like to take some time to discuss one of the Axioms of RPW in light of recent posts.

The belief that if you want to have a good partner, you have to be a good partner. This means having some understanding of what men want in a partner, and in particular, what your man wants in a partner, and then using that information to become the best version of yourself you can be. For this reason, self-improvement and self-awareness are fundamental components of RPW.

This is the first axiom on the list and that is because at its heart, all of RP is about self-awareness and self-improvement. An unstated corollary is this:

You can only change yourself

This has been an idea that has been missing in some recent posts.

First and foremost, you cannot ask for advice on behalf of others. We cannot advise you how to convert your sister, mother, best friend, girlfriend, aunt, niece or second cousin twice-removed to an RPW mindset. No matter how close you are to a woman, you cannot know what is going on in her mind or her relationship. It is a waste of time to try to change someone who is unwilling. We are an open forum, you can send these women to us and we will welcome and advise them, but we will no longer allow posts on someone else’s behalf.

The second area that this concept needs to be applied is from women asking advice on how to fix their SO.

There are strategies that you can employ to change your own behavior with the intention of altering the dynamics in a relationship. We can offer advice on how to communicate with your SO better, to encourage him to accomplish his goals, to get out of the way so that he can lead or to be the best partner you can be.

What we cannot do is tell you how to change him. Remember, you can only change yourself.

If you are approaching a question with the attitude of changing him, we will try to advise you on changing yourself. If we think a situation is hopeless, we will advise you on how to best move on. If you don’t understand his behavior, we can explain men to you. If you argue that you’ve done no wrong, there is no advice we can give. If you ask: why isn’t he different, we will tell you why, but we cannot tell you how to make him be different.

The mod team will take more care with these sort of posts. We encourage the community to help women reflect on the fact that change originates with her. However, if it becomes clear that a woman is intent on fixing her man, we will shut down the discussion so we aren’t wasting everyone’s time and energy.

Just as we cannot advise someone on behalf of his sister, we cannot tell you how to tell your SO how to change.

You are here to make yourself a better woman so that it will spread through your relationship and your life.

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

Happy Posting!


[–]Ok_Philosopher 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Best advice ever.

And it's not at all the same thing as being expected to put up with a bunch of crap, or accept a raw deal, either. One has a variety of options including: leaving, caring more, and caring less. One's own behavior in turn affects his, and the advice given here can help determine how one's own actions will affect his behavior. But yes, the reaction has to come from within first and foremost.

[–]bcspdz 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Any advice for caring less?

[–]Ok_Philosopher 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Get more excited and busy with your own life, is probably the best advice I can give.

[–]bcspdz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LOL, despite the downvotes actually pretty sound advice

[–]BewareTheOldMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Get busy living or get busy dying."

-Red (as potrayed by Morgan Freeman) from the Shawshank Redemption

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The best help you can give to other women especially is just to be a good example.

[–]Astroviridae 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Related question, I have a friend that I've tried to help in the past, to no avail. Now she says she's willing to listen to advice, so what's the best way for me to introduce her to this sub?

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Be honest. Tell her about it or tell her about one of the books you've read and liked. Tell her that you found it helpful. Then step back and let her explore on her own. If she does then she is willing to listen. If she doesn't then she's lying to you and herself and you know not to continue to push.

Even if she comes back and says "that sub/book was crazy, I can't believe you think that way" it opens up a dialogue.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S,M] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

MGTOW is not RPW so this is irrelevant.