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SELF IMPROVEMENTMoving towards being more feminine (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

I'd just spent the last few months running myself ragged to prepare for an important set of exams, and they finally finished, leaving me with a sense of happiness and a fever.

I recovered yesterday and today I took a couple of steps into making myself feel amazing. First things first, I finally got my eyebrows done, and the difference is enormous!! I had a unibrow till today, but not anymore!

Then, on the way back, my mom wanted to do a bit of grocery shopping. While she was picking up vegetables, I spotted this batch of mushrooms which seemed to call to me. I immediately picked them up.

And today, for the first time in my life, I stepped into the kitchen, and with my mother's guidance, made a mushroom chilli fry for dinner. Felt amazing while doing it.

But the real icing on the cake was serving a cup of coffee to my father after a long day at work, having him say that it was just like how my mother made it for him, and serving the dish to both my parents. Hearing their praises was a fitting end to my day, and my first cooking attempt.

So while I drown myself in education and grabbing a degree and well paying job, it pays to sometimes invest in soft skills like this. I cannot stress on how self sufficient I felt, so much that I declared that next time, I'd make a mushroom dish on my own!

Just wanted to share this with you guys :)


[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 18 points19 points  (1 child)

That's wonderful! Home life is so important to create, and I also feel a peace and serenity when I take care of my home. There's no reason why you couldn't study and be domestic at the same time. Super woman!

When I was in university and grad school, relaxing to me meant cleaning my apartment, cooking, decorating, laundry...I always had to be coaxed into going out, haha. Home is my sanctuary.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A nice home is the perfect place to come back to! I will definitely be doing more stuff around the house (also I may have had to handle a lot since my mom dislocated her shoulder and ended up with two fractures) and hearing the praise just added to the joy. My father did also encourage me to experiment with more beverages, signing up to be my guinea pig

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I think you'll make real progress when you stop seeing them as 'soft' skills and start seeing them as vital.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You're right, I may need to look at it another way

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'll put it this way:A happy home can make up for a shitty job but a lucrative job can never makeup for a shitty home. Domestic skills are vital to society. A man who knows his wife will have a fantastic dinner on the table at 5pm will race home to be with his family rather than stay late at work and get mixed up w/ an attractive coworker.

Cooking with love, maintaining a clean home, completing errands-these all need to get done & it costs a lot of money to outsource these jobs to daycare/maids. No they don't require as much sheer brain power as trading stocks, but they do require full attention. And anything that takes practice + full attention ≠ soft.

[–]hpsiequalsepsi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Modern society greatly devalues the joys in little things like learning to cook and having people appreciate what you make them. You have a good attitude :)

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then you probably haven't spent much time on RPW 😂

But thank you just the same :)

[–]est-la-lune 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Congrats OP! Yes, housekeeping leaves me with a sense of accomplishment and self-sufficiency. Even though they may be considered soft skills in an employment sense, I feel homemaking skills are essential to my well-being and success. To me, home is a sanctuary and a disordered home means a disordered mind.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely, maybe the terminology should be changed? According to me, soft skills are just as important as essential skills, so I spend my time developing both. But if "soft" has a negative connotation, then we might need to find another term

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Keep up the good work!

I know many awesome home cooks who only learned to cook once they got married or just before marriage. It's never too late to learn to cook.

Cook from the heart and serve delicious meals!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haha, one of them was my mother. No lie, my father had to teach her how to cook.

I wanted to get into cooking since I wanted to become self sufficient, but I'm also seeing a fun to it. It's like art!

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a great day! Always blows my mind what a difference finding the right brow shape can make to a face - the tiniest, subtlest changes in brow shape can really affect your appearance.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree! I saw so much difference in my own face, and I've already gotten compliments saying that my face looks cleaned up now ^

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does seem lonely cooking all for myself. Although I probably can learn to love it just the same, I do find a certain joy in cooking for my parents, and this can probably be extended to my future family

[–]veryrealman 0 points1 point  (6 children)

This was interesting to read. I never really thought of those domestic skills as "feminine". But my wife has always loved cooking. It certainly does something for her emotionally. So I realize that you're right.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Maybe the notion of it being "feminine" has changed in modern society, since even single guys need to learn how to cook to survive, but I will say I now see why it was relegated to the women. While I'm not of the mindset that women should stay in the kitchen, there is something about cooking for your family that I now understand

[–]veryrealman 0 points1 point  (4 children)

So true. I'm not even certain that those tasks in history where "relegated" to women. Many women feel those tasks are amazing and very important and satisfying activity that make her valuable.

Due to increased self-respect, I learned how to cook a few things, mainly French Fries (I mean really studying how to make home-made amazing fries -- super crunchy) and also getting really good at grilling and finally learning how to bake French bread. It is really enjoyable to prepare food and see my family saying how delicious it is.

Do women really enjoy that more than men? I don't know. Maybe so. Certainly some women love it more than others. And there are some men who love domestic chores too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I can't speak for all women, or even any women, since everyone has a different ideal. I know women who absolutely despise making food, and I can taste it in the meals they prepare. I've also seen women who do it out of obligation (my mother) simply because it isn't in them to really experiment with recipes. I also know women who absolutely love experimenting and making brand new meals for their families.

The advantage we have now is that gender ideals are changing, giving is freedom to make our own choices. No longer will that woman who hates cooking be relegated to the kitchen, or the man who is not fit for a high stress job will no longer be forced into it. I find that a good thing.

[–]veryrealman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I know women who absolutely despise making food, and I can taste it in the meals they prepare." This made me laugh, hard. ha ha

I agree with all of that. Still it seems that certain things, let's face it, are more for men and others for women in most couples. For example, I deal with taking out the garbage.

And sure women can learn to fix toilets. But most women will love it for their man to handle that sort of thing.

I can sew and mend clothes but it feels sweet that my wife does that for me. But I do it if she's busy with something.

[–]veryrealman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the way, my original motive in learning how to cook those things was that I read somewhere that women find men very sexy cooking. With men it's all about sex, of course. And that did seem to help. But eventually I discovered it was very enjoyable for myself. Ha ha. Go figure.

[–]munchinggobbles 0 points1 point  (1 child)

And here I thought that I was the only one who sported a unibrow during exam season :P

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heh, I sported a unibrow for all my life, till yesterday