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DISCUSSIONPlease, don't become this woman. Swallow the Red Pill (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor

http://archive.is/Nzy4M

This article is entitled "Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink."

It is more or less an overly long rant about the excessive drinking culture (* cough * thinly veiled alcoholism) of millennial women. It is not a success story, sadly, where the woman loses the extra pounds and opens her eyes to a better way of living. It is the story of a deeply unsatisfied alcoholic woman who is unfulfilled by her stressful job and farce of a social life (though she never uses the word "alcoholic," she does admit to drinking a bottle of wine each night).

To spare those of you with less time on your hands than I had the trouble of pushing through this article, I will simply leave you with a few quotes.

"That’s the summer I realize that everyone around me is tanked. But it also dawns on me that the women are super double tanked — that to be a modern, urbane woman means to be a serious drinker."

"I don’t say she’ll have to work around interruptions and invisibility and micro-aggressions and a scarcity of role models and a lifetime of her own conditioning. My job on this panel is to make this place sound good, so I leave some stuff out. Particularly the fact that I’m drinking at least one bottle of wine a night to dissolve the day off of me."

"Look at all we’ve earned! That bar with the twinkly lights. That miniature food. This chauffeured black car. We are tough enough to put up with being ignored and interrupted and underestimated every day and laugh it off together. We’ve made it. This is the good life. Nothing needs to change."

"I couldn’t afford to be a 24-hour woman. But it didn’t stop me from trying till it shattered me."

She loosely blames the patriarchy for her problems, but ultimately lands on the real issue at hand. You can't be a stay at home mom, a career woman, Suzy homemaker, and the sexy wife. You have to sacrifice somewhere.

"I blame that bitch [woman from Enjoli perfume ad] for a lot. For spreading the notion that women should have a career, keep house, and fuck their husbands, when the only sane thing to do is pick two and outsource the third."

TL&DR: Don't become a lonely career woman. Make the change. Find the man. Have some kids if you want them (and you probably do). Spend your free time volunteering or doing a wholesome hobby, and for the faithful, find a church community. Don't become this woman.

Edit: I'm not saying you can't work and be happy (sadly many women must work in the modern economy). I am saying putting your career above everything and skipping family life will make most people miserable.


[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you about the anecdote about the panel. When the other men disagreed with her, she could've offered her own counterpoint... Essentially demonstrating to the audience what a "strong, thick-skinned" and competent woman should do when challenged by peers in a business environment.

Instead, she shut down, let her male coworkers hijack the conversation (therefore validating her preconceived sense of victimhood) and instead of coping with her feelings, got obliterated at the bar.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great reply.

[–]LadyofArrows1976 11 points12 points  (5 children)

How can you be sure that most women want children, and why is it sad that women should work in the modern economy? I am not some overly critical blue pill person, I'm actually wondering

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I agree. I'm not particularly interested in children. I do think I'll want them eventually, but I have several older friends with absolutely no interest.

I don't like the argument that we are all animals and so we should do as the other animals. Yes we all have animal instincts and drives, but we have so much more than that too. Following your instinct isn't going to necessarily make you the happiest.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 2 points3 points  (0 children)

me too.

but we are in the minority. vast majority of women (and to a lesser extent men) will want procreation. you see evidence of this over and over again.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

We are mammals at the end of the day, put on Earth for the sole purpose of procreation. No amount of technology or philosophy will change this. Most women these days don't think they want children until suddenly they're 35 and baby crazy, and either they hop to and have a kid, or they adopt a cat or dog and funnel all their motherly desires into their pet.

As for women working, it's sad because basically we have simply doubled our labor (men+women) for half the pay. It's inefficient and makes many miserable.

[–]Asarabacca 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There are plenty of women above their 40s without children who are just as happy. Not everyone has a biological clock going.

[–]carefreevermillion2 Star 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But percentage wise, most women want children. Our blue pill culture does not help them balance work and family in a healthy or positive way, which is the lamentation of many red pill believers.

[–]kaitopet 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Heavy drinking is a blue pill hobby. This is apparent in college especially, where everyone encourages one another to binge drink, just like the girls encourage one another to sleep around or tell one another it's okay to be fat. No one is happy and they can't figure out why, so they drink more and find more guys to sleep with and try even harder to accept their body instead of working out, encouraging their friends to do the same so they don't feel like fat alcoholic sluts. These things will never lead to fulfillment.

I was one of the heavy drinkers my freshman year of college, and it took a huge toll on my mental health. When I took the red pill, one of the biggest changes I made was cutting alcohol out of my life, and it was incredible. Now I'm back to drinking at the occasional party because I'm mature enough to drink responsibly and my life is fulfilling enough for me to be happy without being drunk.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Heavy drinking is a blue pill hobby.

Tell me about it! Most of my friends are BP (that's just how most people my age seem to be), and this is one of my biggest problems with them. I did drink too much in college, but I realized it was a mask for social anxiety. When I confronted that, I no longer wanted to drink excessively. 5 years after my revelation, I feel like some of my friends still haven't caught on, and it's frustrating.

[–]Rivkariver2 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The have to drink to deal with the horrible feeling they must have from random hookups and going against what brings women happiness.

[–]Ariel125 9 points10 points  (10 children)

I work 60-80hrs/week at my career, but we don't have kids atm. I'm fully on board with outsourcing housework. Why should I do a minimum wage job when I'm worth $50/hr? It's all economics and women should stop killing themselves trying to do both. With that, given the introduction of kids I'd quit my job in a heartbeat. Screw corporate. ;-)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Why should I do a minimum wage job when I'm worth $50/hr?

Totally agree! I will be outsourcing the housework when that time comes. It doesn't take any skill to run the vacuum, so I'm going to stick to my skilled labor

But I don't think I could be a SAHM. I would just be bored. I need my job, I need to keep learning.

[–]Willow-girl 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Haha, around here a good housecleaner can command $20-25 an hour, set her own hours and work whenever she pleases, have her pick of customers (avoiding the difficult ones), and have virtually no job stress. Yes, please outsource that unskilled housework to me, lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I've never used an independent cleaner when I've used them before. Just the services that send out 1-2 people who are paid minimum wage. I think when I was a kid my mom had an independent lady come out.

[–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Even the gals who work for agencies around here are making $11-12 to start but I can't imagine why anyone would sub when it is so easy to get jobs on your own! Just show up on time every time; don't snoop; don't steal; and you'll quickly have more clients than you can handle. You don't even need to advertise -- just ask your clients if they have any friends who need a cleaner and they'll line up work for you, lol.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think when I hire someone to come weekly, I would want an independent. My guess is that they will care more. Plus it will be the same person every time and I would like to have a rapport with anyone who is going to be in my home. My experience with agency ladies is that they tend to not really care about the work.

I move into a house in a few weeks and was thinking I would hire someone then. If I don't have friends with cleaners, how do I find someone like you who likes their job and seems to care about it?

[–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good question! Maybe check with your new neighbors and see who they use? Ask around at the HOA meeting, etc. IME, at least in this market, good cleaners don't really need to advertise. There have been times I've been washing windows outdoors or even just walking to my truck when I've been waylaid by clients' neighbors begging me to come work for them, too. lol

[–]daisyskirt194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why should I do a minimum wage job when I'm worth $50/hr?<

Seriously???????????

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

u/waldorfmutti, see what I mean with the difference between the US and Germany? Being a teacher may be similar in both places, but most corporate jobs are much higher pressure with longer hours.

[–]Waldorfmutti 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Normally I would agree. I mean I did chose it as a job cause I thought it would be low stress. But with the flood of muslim children who are very very high maintenance, full of uncontrolled aggression and unwilling to respect females as teachers and equal before the law it gets very very stressful. The parents do not allow them to speak german at home and most likely do not speak the language themselves. (4/5th generation in Germany!) And those german children we have come with their own problems. We are more social worker then teacher in most cases. I put in regular extra hours to talk to the parents (I have a friend who is translator , otherwise I would need to hire one via state), I sit in conferences way past 22:00.

I am so ready for a change, for a true change of the system right now.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do feel for you. I am flabbergasted by the situation in Germany and so do not envy it. I am sure it is incredibly stressful. There is a huge cultural shift going on that is basically breaking down all of your systems.

[–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Women working outside the home is not modern... With the exception of the Eisenhower years, most American women worked outside the home in some capacity or another.

The only difference between the past and now is that women have a wider variety of career opportunities, and for many women, careers consume their identity. Men have always tended to define themselves by their careers, too, only they're not writing depressing thought pieces about it because they've never had any other option except to be the primary providers, and society at large isn't particularly interested in how they feel about it.

I think an important lesson from this article is not to find meaning and fulfillment for your life outside of your career. For many people, that fulfillment comes through family life (marriage and children), for others, it might come from hobbies or service to.the community.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And looking further back than that, women have always done more than child rearing/homemaking. In the early human tribes (and their sapiens brothers) women provided about 80% of the food for the tribe as well as doing most of the building.

Men periodically hunted for that remaining 20% and did defense work.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women have always worked outside the home, but it was much less common for middle class families and almost unheard of for wealthy families. Even many working class families got by pretty well with just one breadwinner. Since the push for equality in the workplace, the value of labor has been diminished to the point where a 90s couple--both working--make the equivalent income of one man in 1910. I understand this is for a variety of economic reasons outside of feminism, but the point is that, ideally, well-off women were supposed to work outside the home for a short period of time until they got married, and maybe work a part time gig to boost the family income. Again, poor women and even working class women have always been the exception.

Now, more or less all women are expected to work a job and are expected to compete like men. I think, aside from lackluster wages and a stagnant economy, is the critical aspect that makes men and women alike unhappy. It throws off the gender balance and stresses everyone out in fun new ways.

I agree with your main point; everyone should seek fulfillment outside the workplace. I think that was one of the biggest lies of feminism, the idea that most men have exciting, fulfilling jobs. Not many people have that at all, and I think in the past few decades, a lot of women have been discovering that.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I am saying putting your career above everything and skipping family life will make most people miserable.

A lot of things can make most people miserable. Let's unpack what miserable really is anyway. It's dissatisfaction; more specifically, that what exists now is not good enough.

I know people that prioritized family above everything and they still feel "miserable" in the sense of discontentment. Why do you think that is?

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I touched on this in another post reply earlier actually. Some people are just going to be miserable no matter what. No system works for everyone, but IMO traditional gender roles with an emphasis on family is fulfilling for most people.

However, I think there's a whole trove of reasons why people in the West are miserable... breakdown of extended families, removal of The Church as a center of life, consumerism to fill any void, overconsumption of entertainment instead of fulfilling hobbies, decreased value of labor and the stress of not making enough money, indebtedness culture...I could go on.

[–]fetchyminx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This.

[–]ragnarockette4 Stars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know people that prioritized family above everything and they still feel "miserable" in the sense of discontentment. Why do you think that is?

I think there have been a lot of cultural shifts (many of which SouthernAthena pointed out) but social media is probably the biggest culprit here. When you're constantly exposed to everyone's highlight reel it is natural to feel envious. You may have a beautiful family but be lusting after another person's high powered career or awesome vacation. And when it is just pictures on Facebook you have no idea about the sacrifices or life decisions that person made to get them to that point.

[–]imspookyboo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Great points. I have two very good girl friends who have essentially sold their souls to their career and are consistently upset about being single/having no work/home balance. It's upsetting as a friend to watch them be sad; I try to encourage them to engage fully with the dating scene!

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's rough to watch the people you love make choices that destroy their happiness. I have some dear friends who are the same way. (One is so obsessed with the idea of a science career that she can't see the good life she already has that's right in front of her, and the other basically works and smokes weed and up until recently insisted on polyamoury.) All I can do is give advice gently and when solicited and let them do their thing.

Of course, the polyamoury girl is convinced that my boyfriend is holding me hostage and has brainwashed me (I let a few unconventional views slip on Facebook), so there's only so much we can convince each other to do anything!

[–]Rivkariver2 Star 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Okay so first of all, none of my friends drink like her friends. Clearly she had a problem and surrounded herself with other heavy drinkers, and she needs new friends.

She is right about not "having it all." That was always silly.

I also have never understood this obsession with "ladies night" and "girl time." I hated my all girls high school. Sleepovers were spent wishing I went to a coed school and being bored. It seems to be a very American/UK thing. These women who act like they are free because they sleep around, but yet all they want is girl time as if they need to get away from stupid guys all the time. That's so weird and boring to me. Feminists seem into that. Even women I know who aren't super feminist always have these lap dog boyfriends but act like men are gross. It's so odd to me.

I think she needs therapy, and to review her perspective on life. Stopping drinking was just the beginning for her.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even women I know who aren't super feminist always have the lap dog boyfriends but act like men are gross

Yup. As TRP tells us, women are disgusted by weak men whether we realize it or not.

And yes, this woman has a lot of problems.

[–]Waldorfmutti 4 points5 points  (14 children)

Please define what you regard as a career. I hold a normal 3/4 job wich allows me to put the children into kindergarten. When Kindergarten ends at 13:30 I am there to fetch them. As they will be in school this autumn I will be able to work full time. Thanks "Gebundener Ganztag". (Mandatory whole day schooling with homework supervision (8:00 - 16:00).

[–]mrpthrowa 7 points8 points  (10 children)

Clearly you have sacrificed a bit of your career for your children.

[–]Waldorfmutti 2 points3 points  (9 children)

I did sacrifice retirement points for my children but most of all for my SO! That is one reason I set marriage as a non negotiable condition for having children. At least this way my interests are somewhat protected. The Kindergeld of about 100Euro per month goes straight to my retirement account.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children)

What is Kindergeld? I understand it literally means child's gold or something like that...do all parents get a stipend for their children or is this some sort of low-income thing?

[–]Waldorfmutti 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Stipend for all. About 150 - 190 Euro monthly until the kids are grown.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Wow. Germany really is a different place.

[–]Waldorfmutti 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Our costs are insane. Kindergeld would barely cover our power bill.

[–]uebermacht 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I don't know how high your power bill is, but as I lived bei Muddern zu Hause and made a betriebliche Ausbildung, my mum got 186€ Kindergeld until I was 20 and got out.
Power bill was at 45€/month.

[–]Waldorfmutti 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Since my SO never learned how to be frugal when it comes to household matters our electrical bill is about twice as much. But we also live in a insanely overpriced town. Again it is SO who decided.

[–]uebermacht 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Seems like you fucked-up to screen for the right partner and now got the bill for it.
Ironic, itsn't it?

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Do you live in Germany? Also, what is a 3/4 job?

I'm not implying that you can't work at all, but there are still trade-offs we make that you have to be aware of. I'm mostly warning against competitive corporate jobs and placing the focus on career and forgetting about family entirely. Also I think things are a bit different in the US in terms of working hours, stress level, vacation/maternity time, etc.

[–]Waldorfmutti 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I live in Germany, yes. As a teacher in adult education I worked mostly in the evening. So my SO was able to enjoy time with his children. Now, with the beginning of a new school year, I will start at a vocational school where I will teach Home Economies and WiGeSO (Economics, History, Politics and Social Studies as a combined subject. Sounds worse then it is.) 25,5 hours a week of normal lessons and the rest is administration, communication with the apprentice´s and their bosses, preparation, etc.

Much of the administration and communication I can do at home, especially the calls to the companies and businesses.

With all the muslim "princes" we are getting, teaching becomes a more demanding job. If you can call it teaching. Most of the time I have to break up fights and physical arguments before we can even attempt to teach.

3/4 job?

I worked six hours a day.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand. We don't have 3/4 jobs in the US. Our shorthand for a normal job is "the 9-5" (9am-5pm). Teachers here spend 7hrs a day in school (including lunch and their lesson planning periods where ideally they don't have students). I'm not sure how much time they spend outside of school grading papers, but it's probably 1-2 hrs a day. So not too different. Teaching here is both considered low stress and high stress depending on who you talk to...low stress because of summers off and good benefits and pay, high stress because of dealing with students and school politics. (I was a substitute teacher for 2 years).

With all the muslim "princes" we are getting I know the type. We don't have too many of them in most of the US, but they are mama's boys to the extreme and are very spoiled. If any American boy acted like that (no matter how rich he might be), he would be mercilessly beaten by his peers, no joke.

I think once your children are older it's much easier for both parents to work. As I mentioned, it's not so much the working as much as it is what you value on your life.