INSIGHTFULGirl Game: Poise (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

Red Pill men are always talking about holding frame. When I ask myself what is the female equivalent to frame I think the answer is poise. The definition of poise is "graceful and elegant bearing in a person." That is what I think of when I picture how a women lets her inner beauty manifest itself outwardly. A women who can hold her poise in all situations is amazingly attractive when done right. It immediately signals a women who knows how her outward self represents her inner self and can control the effect she has on others. A lack of poise is flying off the handle, going to pieces, becoming rude or obnoxious (losing the equivalent of frame). So hold your poise ladies!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (9 children)

Good posture, manners, neat appearance, a pleasant speaking voice in volume and tone, no cursing, thinking before speaking and acting, these are all things I think of when I think of poise.

[–]Coolfuckingname 10 points11 points  (1 child)

So. Being an adult?

I wish america would make this the goal instead of being 'cool'.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha yes me too

[–]vintagegirlgame 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The key is to do these things all the time, esp when you feel like an emotional mess or are going through something difficult, not just at fancy parties.

[–]TheSliceman 1 point2 points  (5 children)

As a man who swears constantly, a woman that doesn't curse is so underrated. instant turn off

[–]LiaKathryn 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I curse and make a lot of raunchy jokes. My SO finds me hilarious. I tried to cut down on them to be perceived as more feminine and he got annoyed and said one of his favorite things about me was my dirty sense of humor. So this is entirely dependant on the man.

That doesn't mean I walk around loudly yelling "Well fuck! Look at that cocksucking BITCH over there!" It's more.. i mess something up and say "oh fuckballs!" or "what the shit am i doing right now?"

Edited for mountains of typos.

[–]saffronbelle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed completely. The guys I've been with in the past loved the raunchier jokes I would make. It is completely dependent on the man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well to each their own, I suppose. I know it doesn't bother my husband if I curse but I feel less like a lady when I do.

[–]TheSliceman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No I'm saying I agree with you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe the confusion lies in your use of underrated.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincibleModerator 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Talking about "shit tests" and "holding frame" boil down to the question of "Can this man remain masculine (unafraid, confident, calm, in control) under pressure?".

When you speak about "poise", it seems to boil down to "Can this woman remain feminine under pressure?".

[–]rpw_helena 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Can this woman remain feminine under pressure?"

Holy shit. Reading this sentence was completely pivotal for me and helped me to understand a concept that I mistakenly thought I already understood. Were I endorsed/5+, I would award you a point for this. Excellent comment.

[–]SoonToBeMrsHim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great way to put it. Always remain feminine in all things you do.

[–]Coolfuckingname 9 points10 points  (0 children)


As a guy i can tell when a person has it immediately. Its being a gentle, strong, adult and its very attractive. My girlfriend didnt have it when we met. She was combative, childish, selfish, harsh. After a year together, she began to trust me, be kinder, gentler, more smooth and solid in her energy and behavior. She grew grace and is 10x more attractive for it.


[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (11 children)

Good advice. I think it's also easy to start cursing esp. if a guy curses (I used to do this) but now I don't anymore since it's soooo unladylike.

[–]TheLadyPainter 2 points3 points  (9 children)

I have a bad habit of cursing like a sailor in stressful situations and my bf doesn't like it. :( How did you stop?

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


    [–]vintagegirlgame 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    A good old southern favorite is "Bless her!" or "Bless him!"

    To be used when your internal commentary may be critical, but your want to sound more endearing than disappointed.

    [–]munchinggobbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I think it's way cooler when you hear someone say something along the lines of what you've mentioned in the 3rd paragraph when you'd normally expect someone to cuss their brains out. Gives a very regal , professional vibe.

    [–]TheLadyPainter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ooh, channeling Adam West Batman for a spell could be fun.. :) Thanks!

    [–]lucythelumberjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I love Adam West-type cursing, I had to adopt it when I worked in a preschool for a bit and now it's second nature :P

    My favorites are "son of a biscuit/bee" and "oh flapjacks"!

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    You really kind of have to train yourself to stop cursing. A good way to implement it is to use words/sayinga that are funny.

    • "Nobody gives an elephant's ear!"

    • "Son of a Biscuit!"

    • "Holy guacamole!"

    • "Poo on you."

    Or whatever else you can think of that would be relevant to your situation. Some people may poke fun at you....c'est la vie. :-)

    [–]TheLadyPainter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hahahaa! I actually say a lot of silly things like these in conversation, too. :) Maybe I'll just try to train myself to exclusively use these...

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Honestly, start getting in the habit of saying replacement words. I used to say "shit" a lot and I started staying "stuff". Things like that should help.

    Keeping a daily log of how much I cursed also helped. Haha. It's kinda a weird thing to do but it made me more aware of that bad habit.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Also...just thought of this. Whenever my friends curse (I'm distantly friends with this masculinized feminist chick), I take a moment to myself, breathe, and think so I don't end up cursing. It's weird but it's grown on me.

    [–]Syndafallet 4 points5 points  (5 children)

    I completely agree that poise is very attractive, however I was not ever raised to act anything like a proper lady.

    Are there classes for this or womens' help groups (in the US)? I tried looking for schools like this but they all have seemed to become political and business-oriented.

    [–]vintagegirlgame 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    There used to be "Charm Schools" where women would learn proper ettiequte and poise. Things like how to properly enter and exit a door without turning your back on the room, how to get in/out of a car in a skirt, and how to walk with a book balanced on your head! If anyone finds the modern equivalent let us know! Closest thing I can think of is probably Cotillion in the south.

    [–]aTweetingBird 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    My mom used to threaten to send me to charm school. I secretly really wanted to go :( She was forced to go as a girl, and hated it, but I would have loved it!!

    [–]tintedlipbalm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's not exactly what you're asking but this have been helpful to me, since I have poor posture when sitting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlHarIg8-10

    I don't do the hand thing though, it looks like too much.

    [–]vintagegirlgame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You can browse my Vintage Girl Game Pinterest board: Live Like a Lady for tips on curating grace and poise, both inside and out. Set a goal to never have an off moment!

    [–]cream_tangerine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Absolutely. We must learn how to keep our cool at all times, how to pick our battles and not take any bait.

    [–]everest8612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I learned this through Eunice Leong-Tan's website/blog called The Elegant Woman. Very helpful, and she embodies very well the things she talks about. It's definitely worth checking out

    [–]BrunoOh 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    This is the equivalent of frame.

    [–]Ojisan1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    A) that video is awesome.

    B) This video is the polar opposite of having poise.