THEORYYour voice tone matters (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by Rivkariver2 Star

Just a quick post. Your voice matters. I was thinking of this watching hairstyle gurus on YouTube. I'll watch an entire channel if she has a calming voice, it's like ASMR. Don't even care if I like her or the styles. It's relaxing.

Then I'll go to a channel with great styles, but the guru's voice is shrill, loud, and whiny. Like she's always dissatisfied. I immediately lose interest.

My first bf woke me up to this. He said you should pick someone whose voice you like since even if you don't hear all they say you like their voice. I was too young to get yet about how guys don't take in every word we say in long monologues so I thought it was odd but I get it now.

Women are taught to be outspoken and speak up so much these days that a lot have falsely developed a shrill and challenging tone. No one wants to hear that all the time. It's not your real voice, so learn to get in touch with your real tone and be confident in that.

[–]Forgot_Pword 18 points19 points  (1 child)

As a guy, I realize voice is one of the most important elements of attraction after body language. I focus mainly on loud, low, and slow. What tonal qualities do you think are the most attractive from women to men?

[–]Rivkariver2 Star[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think some women have lower voices or higher. I think it should be a softer tone but not quiet. I think natural is important. A false low register sounds masculine and a false high register is painful. Just be who you are.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I notice that my voice gets shriller when I speak with other women, mostly because they are also shrill and speak fast! It's amazing how your voice can change depending on who you're talking to. When I speak with my boyfriend I'm typically very calm and gentle and soft but when I'm talking to certain women my voice accelerates.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've noticed the acceleration! I speak very slowly but sometimes it seems people lose interest mid-sentence? I've always attributed it to shrinking attention spans but perhaps I should adjust so as not to be left in the dust.

[–]beauty2991grace 11 points12 points  (1 child)

This is SO true and I’ve been looking for the words to describe it. I’m a Elementary school teacher, and my boyfriend often has to tell me to stop using my “teacher voice.”

Anyone have any suggestions on how to break the habit?

[–]Ezaar 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Be mindful of the context as you go through your day. Autopilot is what I suspect here. You might have to reorient yourself deliberately, if you allow yourself to not be “yourself”.

[–]Ezaar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a person who works with sound and appreciates sound quality, the voice matters. Plus that’s what you listen to when you communicate.

Good meta considerations🙏

[–]carefreevermillion2 Star 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My SO and I both sing, and there's just so much truth to this. Both of us will pause mid-action when the other sounds particularly good, and you can just bet that it sets us on fire to sing seductively into each other's ears!

[–]theseasickcrocodile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s this one gal in my extended friend group who finds it necessary to exclaim “yaaaas queen” in this shrill form of a vocal fry about nearly everything - the show is starting, the popcorn is done, another friend arrived. It’s nails on a chalkboard to me, let alone a man!

I never understood how much women’s voices could set a mood until I heard hers. There’s a time and a place for a hearty “yas Queen” and it’s not 24/7 or in mixed gender groups. facepalm

[–]clemangerine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Afghan proverb: the voice is half of love. Or was it more than half? Read that somewhere.

[–]Waldorfmutti 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Fakt is that high voices, especially soft ones are rarely taken seriously. In my job I need to reign in people, give ordered and organize. So I trained my voice to sound strong, clear and a lower.

Women are taught to be outspoken and speak up so much these days that a lot have falsely developed a shrill and challenging tone.

Untrained voices often sound like this.

[–]iheartfrodo_69 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Any tips on this? I'm in a similar boat and am embarrassed to say I have that annoying untrained voice!

[–]Waldorfmutti 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found the flyer of a singer who gave lessons in speak development and singing. I signed up and spent many weeks mastering my voice.

[–]spicyfoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's all about context. When I was teaching and speaking to a classroom of highschoolers (tough crowd, let me tell ya) I would lower my voice and speak in short, authoritative bursts. When I am trying to be cute when speaking to my boyfriend, I soften and raise my voice.

[–]Waldorfmutti 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then you are miles ahead of the crowd voice wise. I have a naturally clear, strong voice in the higher register. But with training and diligence I was able to tone it down and deepen it. It is now strong, clear but just a bit lower.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women are taught to be outspoken and speak up so much these days that a lot have falsely developed a shrill and challenging tone.

Learning to sing, even just a few lessons, can really help women here. Voice control, tone, breath, singing from the diaphragm/chest instead of the sinuses, enunciation - all of it makes you both more pleasant to listen to, and easier to understand. There isn't a downside except the cost of the lessons.

[–]that_other_person1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I totally get what you mean! There are some women that have this desire to bond with other women in the form on complaining. I definitely complain, but not in this way other women complain as a way of bonding. Like I will say, once if I’m cold, or something like that, but I don’t go on and on. Some women try really hard to be badass too, though, knocking down other women to attempt to fit in and understand the guys.

I’ve always been one to stay true to myself, and that certainly counts the voice, though I don’t think most women think about it too much if they talk in a way that isn’t pleasant to listen to. They just emulate what they hear.

As an aside, I love my husband’s voice. Like I’m sure most people like their SO’s voice, but his voice is something I mentioned right away to him. It certinaly helps that he’s English and I’m American, but, other than the accent, I’ve always thought the pitch and timbre of his voice is so soothing. I’ve told him before his voice is like a lullaby to me.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent post. I was just thinking about this recently.

[–]unixygirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this makes me think of vocal fry and how annoying it is

post is 10/10