I was contemplating the other day about the concept of the geisha - geisha were women who were essentially Japanese courtesans. They were highly intelligent women that men spent time with in addition to their wives, because in Japanese culture, wives were supposed to be maternal and responsible, not fun and games. Geisha were fun and entertaining to be around.
However, this doesn't work for most modern cultures (even Japan nowadays). So I was thinking, it's so difficult as modern women because modern men do appreciate independence but they also hope for softness (which is lacking in most women nowadays). How do we accomplish this? By being a multifaceted woman.
Be a good girl: This is what you should aim to be most of the time. A woman who is respectful to those around her, a woman who is responsible and has a secure sense of morals, a woman who has an inner happiness. Men like to have their fun but what will keep him around is your inner security. I've talked to many who claim they are wild animals until they find a woman worth taking care of. Invest in yourself, take responsibility for yourself - no matter how much we say men desire a "helpless" woman who needs him, men still respect a woman who is secure. You might say it comes from the childhood memory of having a mother who took care of him - ideal mothers are secure, responsible, understanding and warm-hearted, not frantic and chaotic. Make yourself happy first - take pleasure in the little things in life, practice gratitude, appreciate everything around you, have a good character and treat others well - this quiet confidence will keep him around.
Be a sexy vixen: This persona is the fun and exciting side. Keep in shape, mentally and physically. Sexy is not just wearing makeup and high heels and having a bubble butt. Sexy is about being free, enjoying the moment, laughing, letting the emotions flow. THIS is what attracts men, not women who are constantly preoccupied and want their problems solved. Of course we cannot cover our problems all the time, but the key is know when to put them aside. Keep yourself mentally pliable, work on meditation and switching your brain from career/mother/responsible/polite mode and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Control your diet, go to the gym, go outside and get fresh air. Physical and mental health and directly related, so is your sex appeal! Lastly, sexy doesn't have to confined to the bedroom. This openness in your personality can happen at any time and anywhere.
Be a domestic goddess: No matter what any modern man says about wanting a woman who has her own life and interests, homemaking is still held in high appreciation in men's hearts. Learn a few star recipes that you cook/bake your best, then learn the basics of cooking. Learn about combinations of spices, cooking methods (grilling, steaming, baking, boiling, stir-fry), as well as pairings of vegetables-meat-grains. Follow a few recipes online and observe the cooking methods and flavor combinations so that you are able to cook a streamlined three course meal if necessary. For example, if I were cooking a Middle Eastern meal, I would cook lentil soup with pita chips, grilled meat with grilled vegetables and rice, end with dates and coffee.
Iron your own clothes, tidy up your room every day, buy organizers for your vanity table, nightstand, closet. Organize your wardrobe everyday. Make your bed every morning. You don't necessarily need to have frilly flowery throw pillows or expensive artwork but you do need to be neat. Men notice, trust me.
Be a best friend: Friends learn from each other and are good companions. Educate yourself so that you can converse and debate on a variety of topics - your typical educated modern man especially appreciates a well-read woman. Have your own passions and expertise (usually better if it's different than his so you don't compete). That way you have something that is yours to take care and nurture. Have your own girlfriends to go out to brunch or shopping with, have your own list of books that you want to read, have your own hobbies that you develop. Your own passions will fuel his long-term interest in you, because remember...what do you have to offer? Who are you as a woman? Cooking and being pleasant is actually very easy to do, the difficult part is developing yourself as a woman.
That being said, I personally don't expect to be EVERYTHING for my boyfriend. He actually spends most of his time at work, with his guy friends, and at the gym. I don't see him very often, but when I do, I'm a combination of the above mentioned faces. When he comes to my apartment, I'm a sexy vixen and domestic goddess and best friend. When he takes me out for dinner, I'm a best friend and sexy vixen and good girl. When I'm with his family, I'm a good girl and best friend and domestic goddess.
Play around with these personas, discover them within yourself, and have fun!