I discovered RPW not even a full week ago but have been lurking on ReturnOfKings for almost a year.
I have been with my boyfriend (W) for 4 1/2 years. We moved in with each other after being together for 11 months. At first, I went out of my way to make sure that he had a home cooked meal every night and a packed lunch for work. I took care of the cleaning because I was working part time while he was working full time. We got a bit financially strapped and I had to find a job with full time hours. I found a job and eventually began to resent it.
I was miserable with my job (and still am because although it's at a different place, it's the same job) and I started to let myself go. I stopped doing housework and no longer made him a priority. I started yelling at him over the stupidest little things like not putting a pan away or overlooking something that fell over.
I stopped seeing W as the love of my life and started to see him as an extension of myself. He was no longer a separate person. He was an extension of me and therefore he should be doing what I want him to do.
He started cooking and cleaning. Although his job is more physically demanding, he had started to cater to my needs.
I literally didn't have to do anything for myself. I got fatter by not really moving around. I got even more miserable because I was getting fatter. I was getting stressed at the weight I was rapidly gaining while my relationship deteriorated. W never said anything to me and he had literally become a shell of the person that I used to know.
I tried getting onto the whole "fat pride" bandwagon, but I couldn't. I absolutely loathed the person that I was and hated how obese I had gotten.
An outraged fatfem friend of mine at the time had posted a link to ROK about their articles for fat shaming week. Needing to know that other people found me as disgusting as I found myself, I couldn't click the link fast enough. I started browsing other articles and started to read about the types of women that "red pill" men had found attractive and I knew that I wanted to become one of those women.
Knowing what I wanted my end result to look like, I felt a bit lost. I had no support group for traditional roles and every time I started to do something around the house, W would stop me. (I know he did it out of fear for all those times I shouted at him for nothing getting done.)
I got frustrated and miserable. I didn't know where to start. I felt like everything in my life was doomed.
One day, while looking through RoK, I found an article about how to make a Western woman take the red pill. In the article, I found a link to this sub. I downloaded apps, joined the chat, and threw myself 100%.
It's been a struggle for me and as weird as it sounds, I like it. I like the fact that I want this life so badly that I'm fighting against that fatfem inside of me that literally ruined my life.
Since I discovered you all, I have:
-Started giving control back to W. It started with a few dinner decisions, but has spanned to include plans for our days off. He's embracing it faster than I thought.
-Become aware of my large portion sizes and have cut back.
-Worn makeup. Not everyday, but I figured out how to use concealer and how it can smooth my skin tone out and what the best eyeshadow would be for me to use. (Shout-out to everybody from irc who advised me on what colors to choose! I love you ladies!)
-Worked out. I am disgusted at how out of shape I am, but I'm proud that I took that step. (Another shout-out to irc for helping me figure out where to start!)
-Not allowed W to lift a finger to help with housework outside of his regular duties. (He scoops litter and takes out trash.) I've done dishes and laundry this entire past week. By myself. It sometimes takes me awhile to get to them (I'm trying to rediscover my time management skills so I can give myself time to get to everything)
-Packed W's lunch for work. I've made sure that when he gets home from work that he can relax.
-Made W a big breakfast a few times. I would like to have his breakfast set for him whenever he wakes up. I know it doesn't have to be a big breakfast, but it would make me feel better if I had it set up for him at least.
-Had the best sex of my life. W has always been a good lover but our sex life had become non-existent. I was never in the mood and he was so beaten down that he never asked or tried. After spending a day of refilling his drink whenever it got low, bringing him snacks, while cooking and cleaning; he strode over to me, grabbed me hard, and, well...I never knew I could scream like that.
-Never been happier. There's a peace in our house now. W is not afraid of my outbursts and I'm not letting little stupid things ruffle my feathers. I'm starting to embrace my responsibilities around the house while giving the helm to my Captain and I couldn't be happier.
There are definitely still things that I need to work on. There were a few times that I almost lost my temper. It was a huge struggle for me not to just choke on it instead of misdirecting my frustrations onto my Captain.. I need to keep my attitude in check and I need to push myself to do things that I may not feel like doing like waking up earlier so I can squeeze in the cleaning and putting my face on. I also want to keep working out and keeping an eye on what I eat. I want to continue with getting breakfast and lunch together and staying on top with housework.
I just want to thank all of you for helping me to see the light. I didn't know where to begin and this sub most definitely saved not just my relationship, but myself as well. My SO will finally get the woman he deserves.
If there is anything else you all think I should be working on as well, please let me know!!