Getting "too comfortable" and losing mystery - do not do it! (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

Ladies, surely you have seen the AskReddit thread about the nasty things you do with/infront of your SO. Excluding what you both find sexually pleasing, please keep up the mystery and fun of a relationship!Iknowyallwill!

Some gold stars for grossness included the following:

  • farting infront of your SO

  • Pooping with the door open

  • Picking your nose in front of your SO

We are ladies, and yes, ladies have bodily functions and needs like everyone else. No matter how comfortable you may get please maintain your properness and mystery. A fart joke is usually funny but letting them rip (intentionally) and generally being disgusting is a sure fire way to devalue yourself in the long run.

Just my little rant and opinion on the subject.

[–]cxj 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Noteworthy exception: your SO is a nurse.

[–]sheridork 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Meh, we all know that the term "feminine" is pretty relative. Some of us wear heels and dresses, some of us don't. Some girls look sexy and feminine in their workout gear, and their guys love that. It all depends on what your guy is comfortable with, and becoming the woman that makes him happy.

My SO and I have rules about not farting in front of one another cause it is pretty gross. We shower together, and have no problems seeing the other one on the toilet (although wiping is off limits haha). All I'm saying is it depends on the couple and their preferences and dynamics.

[–]thatdangbae 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, not gonna lie, my SO sent me screenshots from that reddit post because we have a big running joke about buttholes... Needless to say, we're goofy and we like it that way ;). Being feminine is essential, but that's a broad term and won't mean the same thing for everyone. Don't forget to be yourself and don't let being feminine equate to being boring and not engaging with your man the way he likes. Mine likes a lot of goofiness, banter, and definitely some playful sass.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Eh, this has gone out the window, as sometimes my SO has to help me if I'm dizzy to the toilet. Part of being disabled though :/ We still have amazing sex and dress up or do other things. But he also cares for me if needed.

[–]HannahFree 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Keeping the mystery with my husband is getting increasingly harder to do as my pregnancy progresses... but since I have already maintained a good level of composure up to this point, he finds it hilarious when I'm trying to hide my gassy, bloated flaws. The scariest part for me is he insists on catching the baby when the times comes.... I'm terrified he'll never look at my body the same way after watching the birthing process. I know he loves me unconditionally, but I'm not ready for certain parts of me to be viewed by him as functional instead of sexual. The fact that he's pushing for natural birth gives me hope that he'll see the beauty in it all... fingers crossed.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]HannahFree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's great to hear! Mine is actually fascinated by the idea of lactation... I can't wait to amaze him with breast-feeding! I envision him watching in awe as our baby takes over his playthings :P I've also noticed his balance of alpha and nurturing has become less of a battle and more of a cooperative duo. I see them both in action at once, instead of one at a time. I'm not sure if I explained that right, but I hope you understand what I'm saying, haha!

    [–]marriedalpha 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I caught three babies, including watching her shit as the baby popped out ( I'm talking front seat fetishist view ) and didn't effect us. Emotions are high when you are having a baby so all that shit gets wiped away.

    Pro tip for dealing with men: We have very short memories when it comes to this shit. Just don't make it the default.

    [–]HannahFree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hahaha! We got a laugh out of that, thanks. I do trust my husband, and if he wants to see the "metamorphosis" up close (shudder), so be it.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    :-) that is cute way of putting it. "Boys fart and girls puff!" is one I heard growing up. Of course they exist, but we need not acknowledge them.

    Its good to hear that your boys are growing up strong and have a lack of interest in low-hanging-fruit! Its gross and no matter how 'normal' the function is, coming from a woman to a man just doesnt translate the same as a man's words or actions would.

    At work, some girls were (attempting) to tell him all about their morning poop. He nope'd the f out of there while there were cries of "whats the big deal?" It isnt a big deal, you are just gross and he wants nothing to do with you. :-)


    Your stepdad has some stellar advice!

    [–]ventuspilot 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    I guess they were shit-testing him...

    [–]lucythelumberjack 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I have IBS, so sometimes if I eat the wrong thing it's really difficult to keep from being gross. But as far as my boyfriend knows, I don't poop. :P

    [–]SuperSlavisWifeEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Something I love doing is offering nuggets of extra mystery. Things that wouldn't be a mystery, or don't have to be, but that fascinate and intrigue in a playful way.

    I can promise Jon a present or a surprise and he gets a bit het up trying to work it out. As long as it stays playful, the anticipation builds up like crazy, though. Example: I made him his first ever Christmas stocking. As I knew he would be impressed (Who doesn't love stockings?), I dropped random hints, but kept the "surprise" a complete secret. He was always peering around, often just looking under flower pots and in the coal scuttle in jest and generally curious. When he got it he was very pleased.

    Sometimes I'll just do something for him or get him something and leave evidence/it on the table so he's surprised by it. Example: a nice shirt I found whilst out shopping his favourite chocolate, something he'd forgotten and got stressed about.

    When he agrees to one of my crazy craft projects, I'll give him a rough outline of what we're doing and let him fill in the blanks. Which he usually fills in with "witchcraft and stuff", but it's fun nonetheless. The latest one is fire logs out of scrap paper.

    Anything that get's your man playfully (which is key) peering through the door, rifling through cupboards and pestering a little could build a bit of mystery and a bit of intimacy.

    [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    My Husband is constantly trying to sabotage me on this one. We always pee with the door open, hell, even when company is over they will sometimes leave the door open if they know us well because they know we couldn't care less. Two hard and fast rules for me are that he cannot be anywhere in the vicinity if I'm going number 2 and he can't be around for any bathroom stuff having to do with my period. Both of those things are struggles for me and I do my best, but he likes to torture me by sneaking up and trying to have a conversation with me when I'm going to the bathroom and I just have to keep telling him to go away while he laughs at me, the butthead ;)

    One thing you didn't mention that REALLY gets me is him seeing me change. I almost feel like what's the point in dressing up all sexy if the mystery is immediately ruined by him witnessing the process. IMO a man should never see you put on your hosiery or lingerie, or witness any middle step in getting ready for a fancy night out or really any time you are getting dolled up. This gets very difficult when you live together, but Husband has tried to be a bit more accommodating with that because while he can laugh at me in the bathroom and be entertained by my annoyance and embarrassment, I have become borderline heartbroken when he's refused to allow me to get ready in private after putting in the effort of finding a special outfit for him and trying to do something extra special.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My SO is the same way about the bathroom. Gotta try to make it as awkward as possible so I feel embarrassed or get stage fright. But that's just his playful personality. lol We're perhaps a little too open in that regard, but it's probably only improved things since we just have fun with it and make jokes instead of me trying to be uptight about things. We have a very playful relationship, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. :)

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I get changed in front of my SO quite often and while it can be a cute chance to be a bit silly or flirt with each other before going out and doing "every day" things, your comment just made me realise that it IS something I should try and stop doing so much, especially when it's for a special occasion.

    The special occasions I have gotten ready and done everything prior to my SO coming over, I can remember him being WAY more excited about me being dolled up than at times when I was equally dressed up but got dressed/did my hair and makeup while he was in the room.

    I guess it really does take away some of the mystery when he sees the whole process. We are currently in a LDR; next time I see him I will try and do my hair and makeup, put on nice outfits etc in the bathroom, so it's more of an all-at-once kind of effect.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Haha, it drives me absolutely nuts but I know that's why he does it. That seems to be a common male thing. They like to get a rise out of us, sometimes by any means necessary. ;-P

      [–]throwawayyouwho 2 points3 points  (5 children)

      I'll admit I've never intentionally farted as a point in front of my SO, or probably even burped. But if I've done either unintentionally I can't remember a time either of us have even noticed.

      But really, if you can't pee while your SO is in the shower or something equivalently "private" then you're making your life unnecessarily inconvenient.

      Not to mention the destruction having children has on these relatively arbitrary feminine mysteries.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

      Unnecessarily inconvenient? Eh, not so much. It may be fine for you now and it may bite you in the butt sometime later. Men love mystery...and if he has complete transparency with you one day he may seek out someone with a bit more sparkle.

      Ive never peed or used the restroom while my SO was in the shower. I usually just join in! Its never been a problem to wait 5 minutes until his shower is done, especially if we both ask eachother out of politeness if the other needs to go before it is monopolized.

      [–]moremane 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      I love the intimacy of my wife being comfortable peeing in my presence, tbh.

      [–]throwawayyouwho 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      It's been fine for me for quite a while (i.e. most of my adult life). This sort of advice may be helpful to a lot of women trying to get a partner, but it's far from essential, especially when you truly settle down.

      Edit: As another poster said, there will be men and women on both sides of this opinion. I don't think it's fair to say one side is better than the other. There's not much point in micromanaging your relationship to this extent as long as you have the core principles in place, in most cases.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well, both my so and I agree that magic needs to be keot alive. I more than he. We have been together for over 5 years and I dont think that having a bit of privacy or not farting/burping/acting like one of his guy friends is "micromanaging".

      Then again, this is my opinion as is my post. :-)

      [–]hockey_puck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I completely agree! My husband always pokes fun of me for this sort of stuff. "We're married, it's okay!" He laughs at me because I never poop when he's in the house (at least not to his knowledge), and because if I really have to pee and he's taking a long shower (we have one bathroom), I'll insist that he not look. The door has never been open while one of us has been using the restroom in our nearly five years together. He thinks I'm "shy" and it's cute, and says he wouldn't mind if I got more comfortable. But I have a feeling that if I didn't keep my bodily functions discreet, he'd be pretty sad about it. He was raised in a house full of women and knows that women can be gross, but I try my best not to expose him to my grossness. I wouldn't even shave my legs or clip my fingernails in front of him until we were married!

      [–]TX_Peach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes, thank you for bringing this up. I also include getting dressed, doing my hair and make up.

      I feel the same about women saying "I have to pee". Ugh. That is so nasty. Maybe its the open culture we are in. I long for the days when one simply excuses themselves and takes care of business.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      May be relevant: I stopped wearing wide comfy chillout pants at home in front of my boyfriend. If you don't go to workout why wear them? Even then yoga pants do their job well, too.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)


      Great point. We want to look our very best at all times!

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      That... is kind of adorable! My Nanny (grandmother) always excuses herself to the restroom to pass wind. One day when us grandkids were younger one accidentally slipped out. She was so mortified we didnt see her for about 3 hours.

      Poor thing.

      [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      You dont care about a woman's sexual past and are willing to settle for low-hanging-fruit; your comment does not surprise me. Judging by your post history your standards are exceptionally low.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)


        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        seriously it's right by your name lol

        [–]Katniss_GrangerEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I still maintain that girls don't fart. Yes, sometimes it happens accidentally and I'm always mortified, I'd never intentionally let one out!

        I have to admit I don't understand people doing toilet activities with the door open or talking to their SO at the same time, just....why? what is so important that you can't wait until you're out the bathroom?! There was an ask reddit thread about the most disgusting thing couples do together and so many people said that they went to the toilet together at the same time! Just hold it for goodness sake! Unless one of the is having to help the other which is an entirely different matter, that's doing it out of need and love and caring for someone.

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)


        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Why do you think legs don't matter?

        [–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        "I love it when my girlfriend stops shaving her legs in the winter" said no man ever

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        I guess she wanted to say that it isn't a problem to shave her legs in front of her SO but concerning her lady parts it is. I can relate to that

        [–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Ah OK. Totally went over my head 😃

        [–]reigorius -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Guilty on all fronts. My SO told me in my face I lose attractiveness when I do the above.

        [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Tsk tsk. If it got to the point that he actually had to say something you may have lost more than attractiveness points. Some respect dwindled as well. Its ok, girlfriend. Make more magic happen!

        [–][deleted]  (4 children)


        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        I am a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          There is no need to be curt; you had asked me a question and I answered you...all while addressing your point of prudishness in regards to the bedroom. :-)

          Men dont want a lame, quiet boring person. I fail to see how that is correlated to bodily functions (unless that is what floats your boat. In that case, enjoy your playtime!)

          [–]lubblylady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I concede defeat - he said it was gross :D lol.