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Taking husband's last name. Feminists say no. What's your take on it? (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by cassandrita

So I was browsing a female centric sub the other day. They usually discuss things like periods, funny stories, etc but they do tend to be filled with SJW posts which is kind of annoying.

One post that made it to the front page was regarding a woman being upset that she was expected to take her husband' last name because sexism, and fuck tradition, she's a strong independent woman after all.

The post made me roll my eyes but it got hundreds of comments,90% of them women agreeing that they would never take their husband's name because sexism. I'm sure these strong feminists will still expect their fiance to get them a $10k ring and fork over thousands more for the actual wedding. And I'm sure these women still want a pricey white dress even though they've probably banged 20+ guys.

It just upsets me how women bring up sexism only when it benefits them. Heck, why get married at all? The tradition of marriage was based on the transfer of ownership from father to husband.

So red pill women, what's your take on it. Did I overreact or do you agree it's best to take your husband's name?

(By the way only a small percentage of these women said they would keep their maiden name for professional reasons, like if they had papers published under their name. Most were doing it out of spite towards the patriarchy).


[–][deleted]  (15 children)

[deleted]

[–]sovexing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As to names and children and interaction with schools and medical professionals.

When I remarried I took my husbands name. I'm proud to be his wife and proud to carry the name.

The children, however, cannot legally have there names changed without the consent of the bad choice I made previously.

So I can say from experience, different surnames have caused me no issue at all. This is likely due in part to the current divorce rates nationwide, which have been steadily growing. It's likely that there would be... Social ramifications in smaller more rural communities, but at the same time in a smaller community, everyone knows your business, so in my case I feel my experience would be quite similar, though I would be more aware of the comments that are invariably made behind closed doors.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

There's not a woman here that is going to say that they won't take their husbands name beyond pretty extreme circumstances. The only thing that I could possibly think of is that you married someone with the last name Hitler, and even then, if he wanted you to take it, I'm pretty sure no RPW would hesitate.

My sister once dated a guy for several years who's last name was identical to her first name. I haven't said anything, but I think that's why they broke up.

[–]tintedlipbalm 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's so Seinfeldian

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of professional women take their husbands' last names legally but still continue to use their maiden name professionally. That is a very common way to go about it for actresses and professional musicians who are already well known by their maiden names.

[–]Astarte_0 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my country people always keep their last names whether they are married or not, and children are given the last name of the father. I don't see what all the fuss is about? Everybody is used to this system for ages now already. Sure, when we book a hotel or a restaurant we tend to book it under my husband's name because his is much shorter and easier. But that goes the other way around too. His sister and her husband tend to use her last name for bookings because her husbands' last name takes ages to spell.

It's not a 'feminist' thing to not take your husband's last name here. It's simply the way it always has been. You were not 'born' in your husband's family and he was not born in yours, so you don't have their name and never will. It's as simple as that. Well, unless you're willing to pay big money for a name change.

[–]olympiaa 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I'm second generation owner in a family business (with my parent's name on the building) and I still took my husband's name with zero hestiation. Legally I dropped my maiden name entirely and I use first name, original middle name, husband's last name. However, professionally I use first name, maiden name, husband's last name. There's no rule that I know of that says you have to use your official legal name at work.

Maybe it's just me, but I loved getting to change my name and I love my new name.

The only real hesitation I've seen is from a friend of mine who has a very beautiful ethnic last name and married a man with the last name Smith. She did end up changing her name and bumping her maiden name to the middle name spot, but she did have a few second thoughts going from a distinct and rare name to a very common name.

[–]SouthernPetite 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The only real hesitation I've seen is from a friend of mine who has a very beautiful ethnic last name and married a man with the last name Smith.

I had the same issue- unusual and difficult to pronounce/spell last name to one of the most plain, standard names you can get. At least I don't have to correct people anymore, lol.

[–]Goodlucknextseason[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too.

[–]lucythelumberjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom's the same way! Went from a very unique Polish last name to the sixth most common last name in the US :P

[–]HULKx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they are a dentist/doctor/psychologist with their last name on the building and an established reputation. So they don't want to change it.

Although they can change it legally but leave the name on the building the same.

[–]cxj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This can cause all sorts of issues when it comes to schools, daycare, doctors offices- are you related?

hyphenated last name here, I have dealt with bureaucratic hassles, awkwardness and confusion my whole life. Health insurance was the absolute worst. This stuff is especially frustrating when you are like 7 years old and dealing with some public school bullshit and your parents aren't there.

Ironically, if I do end up changing my last name I'll probably take my Mom's because while she is ridiculous, her side of the family is very normal, kind, patriarchal and easy to deal with while my Dad's is mostly Ivy League snobs/weirdos, but not the kind who accomplish things, and I don't think they really give a shit about family legacy anyways.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

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[–]L7261 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oy. I tried to write basically what you did but you did it so much better. I absolutely agree with you. A name change is probably the least important part of a marriage - it doesn't change who you are. Plus, if this is something that is a deal breaker for someone in a relationship, then you shouldn't marry that person anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

yeh, TRP and RPW are pretty much anglo-western phenomenon so none of what you said is relevant. Anglo western men want women to take their names. Refusing to is a refusal to actually be "joined" in marriage in the sense western MEN want. It is yet another wedge between western men in women.

[–]cassandrita[S] 24 points25 points  (6 children)

And a few white knights showed up in the comments saying they would gladly take their wives name.

[–]Stryker000 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Perhaps they have terrible last names?

Anyway, anyone who identifies so strongly with a name, let alone last name is insane. Last names were probably inherited from a parental, regional, job, class, lord/king or master.

[–]embracingwomanhood 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I'm in a very traditionalist relationship, and my boyfriend has said that he would prefer to take my name rather than I take his. He has a terrible, awkward last name. I hesitate because I feel like everyone would get the wrong impression of our relationship if that were to happen, so we've talked about choosing a completely new last name to take together. It's a bit odd, but it doesn't scream "FEMINISM" like him taking my name.

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what Husband and I talked about before marrying. He had a bit of a strained relationship with his family and we didn't like the sound of my name with his last name. It ended up being way too difficult and too much pressure to come up with a new name, so I just took his and now I'm glad I did. If I had my mom's maiden name he said he would have preferred to take my name, but I agree that I would have felt a bit weird about it.

[–]ColdEiric 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Perhaps they have terrible last names?

It's shame. Men who aren't ashamed, who have the courage to be, they love the names their parents gave them.

[–]IceCreamnCakenCake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And are lucky enough to have fond memories of loving parents.

[–]L7261 5 points6 points  (2 children)

This is one of those things that for me are a little trickier than at first glance. Obviously, in western cultures it is customary to take the husband's last name but in many other cultures (even more traditional ones) the wife doesn't necessarily take his name. My family (and SO's family) is from Eastern Europe and while some women do take the husband's last name, others do not. Many women from my country (at least in the urban areas) received professional degrees and already established their careers to the point of it being very tedious to change all of their licences and documents to their married name. My mom didn't do it because she had already been a medical practitioner (by 22 - this was in a different country in the 80s). Their marriage however fell apart for other reasons, but both me and my siblings got my dad's last name.

But I will say that unless it's just terribly inconvenient or culturally unnecessary, if the husband cares about his wife changing her name, she should do it. Not because it shows the passing of ownership or any other historical reference, but because it's really just not a big deal. Also, it shows that your relationship is a higher priority than your last name.

There are plenty of men who don't care - and even probably men that don't want their wives to change their last name. My uncle (probably one of the most alpha men I've ever met) actually changed his last name to his wife's last name just because he liked better. In the end, I feel like this is generally an issue that is made to be a much bigger deal than it should be. Hell, if my SO wanted to (if we got married) change our names to a totally different name, I would be all for it. I just really don't care enough about it.

[–]Reddthrown 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Eastern Europe

Where in Eastern Europe is that not customary? My experience is that is unheard of not to do so.

[–]L7261 2 points3 points  (0 children)

During Communist rule (at least in urban settings) both men and women went to university to become doctors, engineers, accountants, into academia, etc. My parents are from Moscow. At the time, there was a very strong push for gender equality in terms of the workforce (definitely not for personality traits like masculine/feminine though - women were still expected to be the epitome of femininity, just also very academically and professionally successful). I know many families that have similar stories (both still married and divorced) where the woman is a doctor or accountant or dentist or lawyer or engineer and the man is a businessman where they have different last names. This is probably different depending on the country but for many people of my parents' generation from the former Soviet Union that are from large cities, the wife's and husband's last names are different.

Also just to edit:::

This is not to say that now things are still like this. In the last 20 years there has been a HUGE push back to more traditional living (more religiosity, stronger gender roles, women leaving the active workforce, etc). When i meet people my age from countries of the former ussr, they are definitely a lot more traditional than my family and other families that immigrated to the US in the early 90's/late 80's.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I want to take my boyfriends name and he wants me to take it as well. he sometimes calls me my first name + his last name. I think it's endearing. why would I care if it's patriarchal?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my guy does this too. i love it :)

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even if they don't take their husband's last name chances are they've got their father's last name, or their grandfather's. Gripe about patriarchy all you want, but it's not like you are "outsmarting the patriarchy" by not taking your husband's name. Marriage is the joining of two people to create a new family of their own. My nuclear family will all have the same last name until my daughter (if I have one) grows up to marry and decides to change her name. Then her new family will all share a name. My mom had a different last name than me after my parents divorced and I absolutely hated it. I wouldn't do that to my kids.

Honestly though, I did have other reasons for wanting to take Husband's name aside from tradition. My dad owns a business and is very well connected, and people can kind of make assumptions about me when they can easily determine who my father is. I also don't really know anyone on my dad's paternal side of the family. Everyone but my dad who shares that name is a piece of shit. My mom's maiden name is beautiful and reflective of a heritage that I feel strongly about and very strongly connected to. If I had a last name I cared about I probably would have still changed it, but it would have made me a little bit sad at first. Husband actually talked about both of us using my mom's last name when we married because we both like it so much, but that would have been far too hurtful to my dad and I couldn't do that to him.

[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'll happily take my husband's name one day. I have no problem with people choosing to keep their own or take their spouse's or make a new name. I'm not crazy about hyphenating, but that's a personal preference that doesn't extend to others. No one has ever spoken down to me about taking vs. not taking a name, and I would never do that to another.

And for the record, I think it's highly judgmental to sit around creating a straw(wo)man of this feminist who insists on a $10k ring, huge wedding, a provider husband, but refuses to take his name. I will take my husband's name, but I don't want an expensive ring or a big wedding. Why would you assume they do?

[–]mensafloyd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The witty and intellectual couple would create a new last name using an anagram of the husband's and wife's last names. Hell, that's just me, though...

[–]valkyrieone 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I grew up thinking of a family as a single unit and the woman taking the man's name out of respect to him and becoming a family unit. It's not making me any less of a woman, if anything, it is strengthening my name because it is now attached to a great man. It boggles my mind how feminists think they can pick and choose which parts of a marriage or tradition work only for them.

[–]tintedlipbalm 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Well, to be fair, I don't see anyone following every tradition to a letter. So in a way everyone picks and chooses which parts of a tradition works for them.

[–]valkyrieone 2 points3 points  (3 children)

No, but you can't want a 10K ring, a huge wedding, all the bells and whistles, and then refuse to take his name because that's "sexist".

[–]tintedlipbalm 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well I agree that situation would seem disadvantaging for him if he's paying for it all but that wasn't your initial point. A lot of women contribute financially to the big wedding in equal parts of more, a lot of women pick their rings nowadays. A lot of things change or lose meaning. I would definitely do the name change but wouldn't do a big wedding or outrageous ring, in a way that's also not following a certain tradition.

[–]valkyrieone 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My original point was stating that they only pick and choose the things that benefit them directly and ignore or down play those that don't. They believe in a ring and a big dress, but they don't believe in changing their name...

[–]CopperRaccoon 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I'd readily take it!

Some consider it "surrendering your identity" but to me that sounds ridiculous; It's simply a revamp of your identity, to mark a significant part of your life, because you are bringing a significant person into your life, for life!

[–]LifterofThings 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Well said. You're not erasing everything that's been "you" up to the point of your marriage-- you're just adding "wife" to the list of things that define you.

[–]wifeintraining 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I remember, back in my feminist phase, telling SO I wanted to keep my name if I got married. I was 17 or so and it wasn't even about sexism, I just thought my last name was really cool haha. Now as we've talked about it more seriously, and as I've grown up a little more, I've realized that it's more important to me that I be united with him and part of his family. When I told him that I wanted to take his name someday his face lit up and he hugged me tightly. I think it meant a lot to him, too.

[–]LifterofThings 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The post made me roll my eyes but it got hundreds of comments,90% of them women agreeing that they would never take their husband's name because sexism. I'm sure these strong feminists will still expect their fiance to get them a $10k ring and fork over thousands more for the actual wedding. And I'm sure these women still want a pricey white dress even though they've probably banged 20+ guys.

Aaaaand that's one of the many reasons dudes aren't lining up to get married anymore.

Don't get me wrong-- these women are entitled to their opinions, and to hold whatever values they choose. If they should happen to die alone and be devoured by their 35 cats thereafter, then that's just a natural consequence of the choices they've made, and not some oppressive patriarchal conspiracy.

[–]Coolfuckingname 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ithink you have it exactly right. My sister is a doctor and wanted to remain Dr.__________ even after she got married. She's not particularly feminist at all, but she worked hard for the title and wanted to keep it. Partly out of repspect for my family name and my parents.

What passes for feminism today is too often double standards and victimology. As a dude who's always considered himself a feminist, i find it disheartening to see whats become the equality i supported.

Take whatever name you want for whatever reason you want. Don't let women or men manipulate you for political purposes. Personally id love to mix my name with my girls name but then her Dr. __________ title would change too. Love who you love, do what you want. Be independent of the nonsense that others judge you with!

Best.

[–]ecossecho 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We hyphenated because it was important to my husband that we have a single last name as a family, but I really did like my own last name too and didn't want to entirely lose it - partly because I feel like it's one of my last connections to my dad who died when I was 15. Also my dad had only daughters and I know he was a little disappointed that his surname wouldn't be passed on, so this was a nice way to help him out. :)

If my husband had had a preference that I entirely take his name I would have anyway of course, but as soon as I said I'd be a little sad to lose my surname he suggested hyphenation and even offered to put mine first. (We didn't, his is first.) He's really considerate.

I totally agree with him that it's important to a family unit to all have the same surname. It makes everything much easier logistically and more than that, it really makes us feel like a family.

I do agree with others saying this isn't the important thing about a marriage though. All the stuff around getting married... not a huge deal. We spent a few thousand combined on two parties (because our families are from different countries), the rings (heirloom wedding rings, although splurged about 1.5k on my engagement ring), ceremony (my dress was $10!)... and put everything else towards buying furniture and getting together a down payment for a house. The party and showing other people we're married isn't really the big deal. The big deal is building a life together.

[–]dallasdarling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sure these strong feminists will still expect their fiance to get them a $10k ring and fork over thousands more for the actual wedding. And I'm sure these women still want a pricey white dress even though they've probably banged 20+ guys.

Based on what?

[–]Reddthrown 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The message you send the world by taking a guy's last name is "I'm off limits". If you keep yours, you signal availability. I would not marry someone that would not take my last name.

[–]queenofnidra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mother took on my fathers last name after she married. When I was young I'd ask her why she did it? I can't imagine having one full name for so long and then suddenly changing it, so I asked her how comfortable she was with it. She just replied saying "What's in a name?" Lol many women play the feminist strong independent woman card. IMO I would stop wasting my time about whose name follows mine and rather "make a name" for myself. To those women who can't relate and still believe you're entitled to not change your name for a man, then stick to your guns and go all the way.

[–]RachelIsSoGreat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been with my husband since I was 13, we got married a couple years ago when I was 19. I've been using his last name since high school, so of course I was excited to change it officially when we got married. I don't understand why any woman wouldn't take their husband's name.

[–]WhimsicalWonderland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly never would have thought taking your husband's last name would be an issue for anyone. Why are people offended? Doesn't it show your commitment and that you and your husband are a unit? When you have kids, showing them you are all one unit is important too. This was never even a debate for me to take my future husband's last name.

Feminists absolutely only say things when it's convenient for them, or to just cause drama. Oh a man opens the door for you? He's insulted you cause he sees you as incapable. Oh a man didn't open the door for you? He's not a gentleman. Please, just stfu. A lot of what they say is so ridiculous that they are making themselves laughing stocks.

The only situation where I could see it being understandable that the woman did not take her husband's last name is if she already established some type of business base. For example, a company that is named after her last name that is very successful. You can't change names up like that. Or, if the woman is a lawyer or a doctor with a clientele. Can't randomly change the names up like that either. Even so, the woman can even choose to hyphenate her last name.

[–]gabilromariz 1 point2 points  (5 children)

This is a very odd discussion to me. In my country, not taking the husband's name is like telling the world you're not planned on staying married or hate his family somehow.

On the other hand, we also keep our own names. No hyphens, just an extra name, which isn't odd given most people already have about 4 to 6 names. So imagine if Miss Ana Maria Pilar Gonçalves Silva married Pedro Francisco Gomes Lopes, she would be Ana Maria Pilar Gonçalves Silva Lopes and would go by either Ana Silva or Ana Lopes, but mostly Ana Lopes.

The other names usually represent the mother, the father and other people in the family, so it just makes sense to add the husband as he is a part of your family, and by having his name you're also added to his family.

It's just not a discussion here :)

[–]IceCreamnCakenCake 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Are you from a Latin/Hispanic culture?! Me too! It's really funny exactly what gets branded as "feminism" here when other cultures (that are much more traditional) the same behavior is considered a given.

[–]gabilromariz 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes! But I think our solution is pretty good, we take the husband's name but keep all the names the parents give us. I think it's kinds special, like they have built your history and now it's your turn to add something to it :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you Portuguese? If so, olá!

I was about to comment the same thing. I really like our solution, it's a nice compromise between keeping your family name and embracing your new family. If your names gets too big people might joke about you being posh, but other than that it's really fine.

[–]gabilromariz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Olá :) I used to be mocked in school because my name was too short so I will absolutely take my husband's name when I marry. The biggest downside to a bigger name is taking ages to sign everything :)

I think that even when it comes to children's names, it's nice to have your name tell a story

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking your man's last name is the ultimate sign of respect to him. Men feel love through respect, and men would generally rather lose you than your respect for him. Of course this is something that pisses off feminists, it means they would actually have to do something for a man. No, you did not overreact at all.

My SO and I have even sort of "joked" about taking up a completely new last name "if" we ever got married because neither of us are fond of our current ones. I'll take any name that man will give me, as long as I can keep him.

[–]entropychange 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, of course! I just wish in America they had feminine endings for the last names. Like Mr Smith and Mrs Smitha. There are various endings in different languages for that, it doesn't sound right in English.

[–]Aine_of_knockaine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's bad luck not to take your partner's name. I would absolutely take his name when we marry. For me it is very simple and the negative things not doing it says are not things I would ever want to say to my partner or make him feel.

[–]tryanotherJuanEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will be taking my fiancé's last name. I've always looked forward to the privilege of moving out of my father's protection and under my husband's protection. I think taking his last name is symbolic of that change.

I have a very unusual last name that will die out with my generation because my father was an only child and I only have sisters. I think we will try to honor my family with by using a first or middle name of my father's or grandfather's once we have children.

I never considered keeping my maiden name, but my fiancé and I did discuss it once we were engaged, just to have the conversation and make sure we were on the same page. He said if I wasn't willing to take his name it would feel like I didn't like or accept his family. He even mentioned that it would be a deal breaker for us as a couple.

As a side note...we are also addressing our wedding invites with Mr. and Mrs. "Robert Smith" for our parent's names. I'm sure feminists would flip....but my mother prefers that. So I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[–]aTweetingBird 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, what is the freaking point of getting married and creating a family if you won't have the same last name? I can understand keeping your maiden name for professional reasons - my aunt is a dentist and established her practice with her maiden name, but she still legally changed her last name to her husband's.

It just doesn't make sense to me. How can you be a family with two separate last names? I feel sorry for the men marrying these women.

[–]Dont_Fix_It 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to take my husbands last name when I'm married, but I'm not using my biological fathers last name (my maiden name) as my middle name like my mother and sister did. My step father is the man who raised me, took me fishing, taught me about the world, and it'll be his last name that replaces my maiden name. It's not quite traditional, but I feel that it's 100% right for me.

[–]Katniss_GrangerEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

absolutely 100% take his name and if I had an SO who didn't want to marry I'd happily have my last name legally changed to his. It means a lot to me to have a solid family unit. I've had male friends say they'd never marry a woman unwilling to take his name so it clearly means a lot to them too.

[–]TheLadyPainter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My father didn't have any sons. Having his last name is something I'm proud of, and given the choice, I would want to keep it and pass it on to my kids. However, I realize that's just not in the cards and I have accepted that I'll be taking my SO's name when we get married. We talked about it and decided that I will keep my last name as a middle name (not hyphenated - middle!). My current name also happens to make a great 'pen name,' so I will probably use it for my career.

Everyone's got a story. Most women end up taking their husband's last name. That's life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women have always historically taken the mans last name, its only recently with feminism that women say no to that in order to avoid being submissive to their partners. I would say yes, unless he had a horribly ugly last name

[–]Littleknownfacts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've flirted with the idea of keeping my own last name if/when I get married, but not so much because of feminism. I just don't have any brothers, and my father's brother doesn't have any sons either. My two sister's an I are the last of our line, and so I would like at least one of my sons to carry on my last name, at least in the US. I think I would be ok with taking my husbands last name, if I still was able to give one of my sons my maiden name.

[–]WildHoneyChild 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would gladly do it, but if other women don't want to do it, it's not really a big issue to me, although it seems kind of silly.

Something I found kind of interesting is that my cousin married a Swedish guy and they both changed their names to include both last names. Like "John and Jane Smith Johnson". I thought that was weird, but whatever.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ooooh tetchy lol

[–]sonnesatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My last name is actually 'Shakespeare', so I'm kind of bound to it because of my family. But I would definitely take my boyfriends name. Writing his first and then mine.

Or would that be selfish? I also could imagine him wanting to have my name, he thinks it's pretty cool :)

[–]cxj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heck, why get married at all? The tradition of marriage was based on the transfer of ownership from father to husband.

I too have wondered why feminists or really any non religious/patriarchal people would do this. Signing papers for tax rebates is one thing but the rings and ceremonies are patriarchal to their core.

[–]Hitman359 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember a bit of a quote out of a book I believe was written by Ludwig Von Mises. Can't remember the quote exactly but he essentially said that, in the modern age, taking the last name was but a mere sign of respect that the wife paid to the husband. For now the wife really could, thanks to capitalism and free markets, live a "good" life without him. She no longer had to be utterly dependent upon him and there was the expectation of respect being paid to her as well. As in, the husband is now expected to treat his wife as a human being with her own wants and desires.

He saw this as a good thing, he was glad that people were getting that women should be treated like people not objects. Feminists flip the coin on its head though, treating men like objects instead of people. Oh the hypocrisy, understandable too once you figure in hypergamy and female narcissism. They want it all just because they were born with a vagina.

The sad, fat, ugly whores and hags, if only they could have seen how lucky they were to be born in an age where women weren't seen as mere trophies and bargaining chips in games of political intrigue. That they lived in an age where they really could find and marry a man they truly loved, not a man the "family" forced them to because of politics and money...

[–]TooLaRooLaRooLa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you would be willing to do something as wounding to a man as not being willing to take his name, why in the world would you want to marry him in the first place! What a way to disrespect a husband from the start :(

I'm trying to think of what would be the equivalent, but going the other way. Maybe a man that tells his wife, I will marry you, but I will never open my eyes when you are around because I don't want to have to look at your ugly face and body? Maybe that is close to the rejection the man must feel when his bride to be refuses his name...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I view this the same way I view married couples who don't share a bank account. When you're married, you're supposed to be on the same team, you're looking out for your partner, it's you and your husband against the world. If you can't do these 2 things, then why get married?