RELATIONSHIPSNon RPW friendships (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by imanewwoman

I've seen several threads around here about women who are concerned about their girlfriends having different (or opposing) lifestyles or ideologies.

Remember that even if their decisions concern or annoy you sometimes , you don't have to judge them, because somewhere along their path, they will learn their own lessons - and if they don't, it's not your problem. Give advice to them, don't be judgemental, and after that, don't worry about any bad decisions of them (unless is life threatening!). Focus in their positive qualities that attracted you to them in the first place!

Look at your non RPW relationships as a way to practice tolerance and acceptance. Being friends with people that think different from you is a beautiful thing! And remember that if their ways annoy you, it says more about you than about them: you might have to work on your patience, tolerance, or detachment (OF COURSE, im not talking about bad friends who ignore or disrespect you in any way. Those are the ones that you definitely need to ditch).

I've got only one close friend who is RPW oriented. Some of my friends are feminine, others are masculine...bitchy, sweet, liberals, conservatives, feminists, not feminists, superficials, intellectuals, idealists, pragmatics.... I get along with all of them and love them very much.

I'm pretty sure that some of my girls saw me as a trainwreck in my partying years but they never put me down for it, they just gave me some advice and left it up to me. Some years ago, I COMPLETELY changed my life and my way of thinking, and my friends still love me (probably a bit more because now im sweeter and gentler!) even though I might seem like a different person.

Of course, it's sometimes hard to keep friendships with people you find yourself having less in common as time goes by... But you can do it and be happy with it. For example, I don't go partying with my junkie raver ex BFF anymore, but every couple of months I call her to grab a beer or a pizza and she tells me a ton of whacky stories that make me cringe a bit but also laugh a lot. We have a blast each time.

Avoid friends who judge you for being RPW, and friends who try to pressure you to do stuff you don't want to do. And if some of them disappear after you become RPW... Good, they are showing you that they weren't your real friends in the first place - that leaves room for more genuine friends.

Just some thoughts!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well said.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly! I've always found it rather immature when people can't see past political and similar beliefs in friendships. Of course that stuff matters in romantic relationships much more. Unfortunately I don't always get that same level of respect from friends, and as you said, that's how you know that they were never true friends to begin with.

[–]Rivkariver2 Star 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get it, but still I sometimes wish I didn't have to go around suppressing this huge part of myself. Doesn't help I am in an area that is very liberal, and I'm not. My whole life I've been used to being in the closet about my beliefs, and it's really frustrating. The hardest part is people at my church who really should get it, just disobey the truth and try to modernize the church based on their views, many also love feminism or at least don't see issue with it.

I have never shouted it out to those who won't get it. I always repressed my feelings as a kid due to shame from family. I always liked men and was not feminist. But now I'm barely able to express it.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't expect my friends to be RPW, but I do expect them to show respect for their partners. I don't want to spend time around people who normalise the bitching about partners that seems to be endemic.

[–]flyingwaterlilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's always a two way street. If others don't agree with your way of life, that's fine, you don't have to agree with theirs either, as long as both sides let each other be.

[–]Landry86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I think we all have struggled with this. I definitely try to make as many friends as I can and be tolerant of other people's opinions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had to cut off women who were extremes on both sides, mostly because they are too delusional or bitter at either extreme.

The first being those who are very "I don't need a man!!" types and that's only because most of them actually do end up in a relationship from what I've seen, and only say it out of being defensive about being single and wanting to play it off like they don't care. They tend not to be happy for other women who are in relationships when they are not/have not been in one themselves. They are usually men haters and extreme social justice warriors or extreme feminists. But they all change their tune if and when they get into a relationship in the future, which is why I cut them all off. Its annoying, and is cloaked jealousy.

The second group are women who think one day their magical price is going to come rescue them and give them the lavish stay at home wife pampered life they deserve where they never have to lift a finger and have endless funds and loyalty. For literally all of those women I knew, their prince never came, and their looks have started to fade. Most are bitter and unhappy.

I'm not saying the second group of women were unrealistic, but they took it way too far. A rich man often does not want to settle down until he is like 50 (and then wants someone half his age). These women wanted rich, handsome, muscular, hard working, treating women like stay at home princesses types. And this is NOT realistic. Pick 2 because 5 or even 4 is impossible. These women could have been more successful if they had a career in addition to being pretty and well-manicured, or actually did things to add value besides looks in an area where everyone is beautiful (los angeles).