All red pill communities work from the same wellspring of knowledge, but how that information is used can often look so dissimilar that newcomers mistake each sub as a separate entity that bears no relation to another. The most obvious example of this? TRP and RPW. Men and women alike often misunderstand how and why these two subs specifically are inexorably tied to each other. Think of ‘step one’ as understanding RP ideas, and step ten occurs when someone can effectively incorporate and adapt those ideas into their personal life. On this scale, understanding the RP sexual strategies for both men and women, as well as why they are both at odds and in harmony with each other; falls somewhere around ‘step twenty.’
It is a complex system that requires a good deal of dispassionate consideration over a period of time for most people to fully grasp. The most important thing anyone can do is revisit theory posts at regular intervals, maybe every 4-6 months, and explore these ideas critically and logically. You will surprise yourself with how much easier it becomes to understand these ideas and absorb new ones the more familiar you are with the material. Remember that the ability to clearly explain one concept in different ways is a hallmark trait of someone that truly understands what they’re talking about. It’s not enough to simply regurgitate spiffy phrases if you cannot also create new ones that help others better understand RP theories.
To begin, we will simply identify the RP male and female goals.
- Male goals: spin plates, casual sex, LTR, marriage, children
- Female goals: LTR, marriage, children
Right off the bat, even the most casual observer should notice that RP men have a much more diverse array of goals to pursue. RP women have a far narrower focus, and the next logical question most people ask is: why?
This leads us to another fundamental piece of RP theory:
- Men are the gatekeepers to commitment
- Women are the gatekeepers to sex
Which sounds really nice, but what exactly does that mean in practice and application? Simply put, men nearly always want to have sex, and few men would ever really pass up the opportunity to have sexual intercourse with a woman. There are also few women that have a sex drive that matches up with an average man. On top of this, a normal woman can have sex pretty much whenever she feels like it, if she’s inclined to do so. Today the thing that women struggle with most tends to be forming a LTR with a good man and marrying a good man. Women overall, are much more interested in commitment and security. Men also have an easier time overall forming relationships. This feeds into the next evolution of RP theory:
- Men have an easier time forming relationships, and a harder time maintaining a consistently active sex life
- Women have an easier time having sex consistently, and a harder time earning the commitment of a good man
This is very important to remember. The primary goal of men at any stage is generally “consistent and active sex life” while the primary goal of women at any stage is “commitment and security.” All of this sets the stage for one of the most timeless struggles ever to exist. Men can give the things that women desire most [commitment, security], and women can provide the thing men desire most sex [sex].
The problem? No one wants to get the short end of the stick. RP women know that it’s best to keep their N count as low as possible. RP men know that they don’t want to end up in a sexless anything, so everyone has a certain level of caution and worry. People figure out pretty quickly that one of the most tried and true strategies happens to involve withholding their strongest asset under the promise of following through once they get the thing they personally desire most. Translation? Men dangle the ‘commitment carrot’ in the hopes that women will have sex with them quickly. Women dangle the ‘sex carrot’ in the hopes that men will commit quickly.
Both men and women can turn to different game theories and strategies to obtain their goal, and RP describes many different tools that can be used in wildly different ways depending on an individual’s sex, temperament, and skills. RP women are not interested in short turnovers between men, the entire purpose of the sub is to find the best possible match that they can stay with long term. In fact, the entire spirit of RPW self improvement, growth, honesty, femininity, behavior, and philosophies all strive to create permanency.
This has all been said before, but it’s worth repeating here:
- RP women are not trying to specifically date ‘RP aware’ men. Many naturally masculine men will display certain red pill characteristics, but have no familiarity with the actual term ‘red pill.’
- Some men that read and participate on RP subs may make good leaders and are in fact already leading relationships of their own.
- Some men that read and participate on RP subs are textbook examples of what RP women should avoid.
- Being a RPW, or knowing about RP doesn’t not automatically make a woman a good girlfriend or wife.
- It’s not enough to know about ideas, if women do not work to change for the better, then they should not expect to achieve their goals.
- RP men are not ’bad’ for wanting sex, or for pursuing their goals in amoral ways.
- RP women are not ’bad’ or manipulative for wanting marriage.
- RP women are looking for a ‘good’ man. The definition of ‘good’ will not mean the same thing to every member.
- Everyone should give actionable advice that is relevant to a person’s situation and goals. Telling a man that spins plates to focus on an LTR instead, when that is not his interest is wrong. Telling a woman interested in marriage and family that she should consider being a plate is also just as wrong.
It is important that every member of this community respects all RP goals, while understanding that some goals will be in direct conflict with their own. As a community, the content and quality of advice must stand on its own. A RPW that decides she only wants to cohabitate with a man for the rest of her life is not ‘bad,’ a RPW that wants to get married is not ‘bad,’ and a RPW that wants children is not ‘bad.’ What she represents to a RP man that spins plates, is an example of an incompatible woman.
A RP man that wants casual sex, and spins plates, and will avoid marriage at all costs is not bad. He simply represents the type of man that every RPW should avoid. A person with incompatible goals does not make that person ‘bad.’ We must hold ourselves and each other to higher standards of understanding and conduct. This means recognizing our commonalities and our differences without anger or distrust.
Everyone has a responsibility to understand that male and female sexual strategies without seeing any approach as inherently wrong. TRP and RPW are connected, and represent different sides of the same ideas. It is important for everyone to have the space they need to learn and improve without being attacked for their goals. The community will be a stronger and better one as a result. It means that discussions will stem from mutual understanding, and less effort will be expended on trying to legitimize personal goals.
TRP often focuses on helping men create a more developed and engaging life for newcomers. This differs from RPW, and this community focuses on a more limited range of topics. Here, we concentrate on the things that play the greatest role in attracting a good man and earning his commitment. This means that when women come to RPW, certain things about her Education and employment, Social life, and hobbies are assumed.
It is accurate to say that RPW focuses on self-improvement, but that focus applies only to the types of improvement that makes a woman more attractive and desirable to a good man. Every woman should lead a satisfying and fulfilling life, and many of those things fall outside the scope of this sub.
The most popular and well known relationship dynamic is referred to as “Captain/First Mate.” Essentially, this describes a relationship where the man takes the lead, and the woman follows. This dynamic can be described and applied in many ways, and no implementation is specifically ‘more correct’ than another. The C/FM structure is not the only RP relationship structure, it just happens to be the one that is most frequently referred to. Relationships are not identical. The individuals within the relationship, their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and goals all contribute to structure and functionality. What works for one couple may spell disaster for another.
Therefore, it is more productive to identify which aspects are not working and examine why that might be. It is the responsibility of every RP woman to hold herself accountable and be aware of her personal flaws and strengths. Every RPW is also responsible for creating her own vetting standards. If you are asking for advice, please refer to the questions outlined in the rules
Vetting is an ongoing process that continues until marriage. Having a personal system that is detailed enough to increase your chances of long term compatibility and happiness; while also being flexible enough to prevent you from ‘passing’ on promising men too quickly involves a lot of work.
Fortunately, this process has been covered already, in detail.