Hi, fellow ladies (and gentlemen, if you're reading this)
This is my first post here- and I'm using a separate account since I feel this stuff is private to me, and I want to keep it separate from my usual account. I hope no one minds! I just wanted to introduce myself, and get this story off my chest, and explain why I'm so happy to be here.
I've always admired the traditional life. As a child, growing up was quite polarising- I was brought up in the 90's by a single mum (UK), she worked extremely hard and still does to this day, doing work that not many other women do. She is my absolute hero, and she gave me a childhood full of laughter and unique experiences. Because of her, I developed a strong work ethic, something I still carry with pride. She is incredibly independant, but I also know that her life isn't perfect. She has confided in me that she understands that her two failed marriages have probably made her lonely, and she has terrible taste in men (for the most part, yes. She has a boyfriend, who I consider my stepfather, but I wish he was more of a constant in my life). She taught me from a young age to be independant, strong (this was almost hammered in) and that I had the choice in everything I did. I could do anything.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is my grandparents. Growing up, whilst mum worked, I spent most of my time with them. Nan taught me how to be a housewife, really. She was so traditional and so was granddad, having been born and raised in poverty I picked up so many memories that I still utilise.
For example, Nan would never wash her frying pans. She'd go over them with a cloth and hang them back up, ready for another use. To a modern person this is shocking (and unsanitary) but to me, this was the perfect example of how tough and resourceful she was. She taught me how to knit, how to sew, how to cook stews, and how to be resourceful with everything, to not waste a single thing.
My god, do I look up to her.
As I grew up, I was taken in with modern day feminism. Now, don't get me wrong. I still agree with elements of it. But there's a lot I don't. I carried these beliefs throughout my teenage years, where I really went off the rails. I was a party girl, and I admit, I slept around. I made a lot of mistakes. And all the while all I secretly and shamefully wanted was love, to settle down. As much as I love and admire my mother, my childhood was a lonely one, and I had seen how much my mum had to deal with as a single mother. I had been pulled pillar to post in a lot of ways too, in too many ways to put in this post, otherwise we'll be here all night.
Due to my search to settle down and live a traditional life, I got engaged at 18, then again at 21 to a different man. Both wrong for me, and I them. I do not regret them, and all bitterness as the years have gone on has left. I learnt a lot.
After these two, I went on a mission to return to education. I risked a lot (including homelessness) and was very poor during this time, but was finally accepted into University, and I began dating an old friend from back in my home town.
Four years on, we are getting married next September, are planning to start a family in the next two years (YAY!) and I graduated with a first in my subject. I now work in an amazing job and I'm working towards my goal of becoming fully freelance so I can be at home to raise a family whilst still contributing to finances and keeping my career alive.
Recently, I started looking up traditional wife stuff online. It was hard to find, a lot of it, but I got to following some blogs. Even though I'm a christian, I'm not majorly religious and a lot of these blogs were very religious. I was starting to think I was alone in my stance-
And then I found you guys!
And so much clicked. I will be totally honest with you, I don't agree with everything. But there's a lot I do agree with. And I realised that we don't have to agree on everything, TRP is a tool that we use to our own strengths.
Thanks to reddit in general, I've lost a stone and a half and am now absolutely happy with my body (and my fiance is very happy too!), I started wearing makeup, taking better care of my skin, and looking after my hair more. Thanks to RPW, I'm holding myself better. I'm smiling more. I'm presenting myself in a way I feel feminine and desirable, and I'm more gracious as a result.
I still have a loooong way to go, after work I still look disheveled a bit and I can't bear to part with my awesome bovver boots (they're comfy and stylish in a cute, tomboy way!)
My relationship has improved, my career has improved, and I'm more determined and motivated than ever to self-improve. It's all very humbling.
If you managed to reach the end of this wall of text, KUDOS! And I would love to hear from you, and hopefully make some friends!