FIELD REPORTWhere Do You Find Like-Minded Women? I Figured It Out (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor

Recently I actually feel especially proud of myself.

I had knitted a couple of pieces for a fundraising event and donated them myself, even when I wasn’t a part of the event. When I found out about it, I went straight to knitting until I had a couple of things for them. The organisers were mostly elderly women and they were simply lovely- they were surprised I added to their wares with my work and very grateful.

For me, it was one of those great deeds that you feel especially proud of, even if they seem small.

One thing that I truly enjoy doing is meeting up with knitting and crochet groups in order to learn new patterns and chat. It’s a wonderful atmosphere, the older the women are, the better company they tend to be.

I think you know why.

Our values match.

Earlier in one of my initial posts, I was told at a lovely group of older women I attend events with that I should just accept myself and the life I wanted to live. Now matter how outcasted I may be (an outcast to the outcasts/liberal left myself!).

I find that these groups of older women still carry old-fashioned family-oriented values that I can relate with and even if our values are not exactly the same, they are surprisingly more accepting than most people my age are. You know what they call us? The ‘Me’ generation. It’s all about us and our time, our materialistic desires and the ‘rush of life’. The generation that doesn’t stop to smell the roses, so to say.

I actually agree with them, unsurprisingly.

To me, their generation, women in their 70s and above (sometimes they can be as young as in the 50s or 60s), are the distinguished generation, pre-feminist (or rejected the second wave feminist ideal when it started) and family-oriented. Among the distinguished generation have I found the best support network in how I’ve chosen to live my life and my values. Even if I go from group to group, I meet so many different women, some just as small encounters where I don’t even remember their names now, I can almost always have great conversations. About politics, modern matters, traditional values, our stories, interests and of course- the actual knitting/crocheting! I learn so much more beyond just the craft.

I have taught others to knit and it’s one of the achievements I feel quite proud of. With especially women, I believe handmade items are just much more precious than the same items made with machines. Of course, that is cheaper and time efficient, however I believe that handmade clothes and crafts have a sentimental, personal value to them straight from the maker and to the receiver.

I plan to make everything for my future family, I already do for my current one. I make scarves, beanies, blankets, shawls, socks and I am learning more and more, going up in difficulty so that I would be able to make jumpers and full-fledged clothes and toys by the time I’m having my own children. I want to be confident in making those things by the time I become pregnant, since I want every child of mine to have handmade clothes and toys from their mother. The same also goes for my home, I want to make items for my home through knitting, sewing, stitching, quilting and crocheting. From frames to tablecloths to cosies to covers to runners.

That was the initial reason I started joining these groups, to learn the crafts, though I ultimately learned and gained so much more than that.

I would say my social life outside of my best friend are these women. I can only be ever so grateful for the courage and support they offer. In turn, they seem to feel hopeful that someone as young as I am still believe in their values, aside from continuing to keep their crafts alive and thriving.

That is why making those couple of things for their stall was an easy given for me.

It’s the least I can do to give back to these wonderful women who have changed my life.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 9 points10 points  (10 children)

I'm really glad that you've found some like-minded friends, even if they're 50 years older than you. You've definitely figured out one part of it....but not all of it, as I imagine the unsaid part of that request is usually 'who are within my age range'.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Personally, sometimes your own age range are just no use or in some areas where people live, non-existent.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 2 points3 points  (7 children)

I'd argue that they're very rarely non-existent. Getting involved in a church usually exposes you to lots of RPW of all ages.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Not here in Australia, personally Melbourne. There's so many feminist Christians it doesn't make sense.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 0 points1 point  (4 children)

That would be my hometown. I met lots of [edit] under 30yo [/edit] RPW Christian women there. Maybe you were looking in the wrong denominations, but I knew lots of women who were fully into biblical submission in their marriages.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Really? You gotta tell me where these women are! I was looking more in Baptist/Hillsong circles.

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to chat privately if you'd like - can maybe give you some tips for specific churches etc :)

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Were you going to home groups or just looking on Sundays? I met a lot of RP Baptist women in home-groups. Often, the more evangelical the focus, the more RP the women. Try some other churches - I know that lots of churches will run series of home-studies on topics of biblical marriage, etc.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are these home groups? I have stayed a bit away from evangelicals because they do try to convert so strongly to the point where I'm actually turned off. Do you know which side of Melbourne mostly? City? Suburbs?

[–]HobbesTheBrave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They need the legitimacy the church brings. It's politics. If they didn't dress modestly and conservatively, everyone would treat them like lepers are treated in OT, and they know it. Feminist are slightly less leperous when they pretend to be modest christians. That's how it is where I live.

Or they're just in serious doubt.

[–]En-Zu 5 points6 points  (4 children)

There's not really any way to go back from the pill, the normalization of divorce, and Tinder etc. But I'd like to think that some parts of hedonic feminism will go out of style as they lose their novelty.

[–]Startthecar27 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can't un ring a bell

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I can really just hope they do.

[–]En-Zu 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The premise of this subreddit is just that it's ultimately unsatisfying and contrary to nature so with that in mind it's only a matter of time.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, though a majority of people are stupid. Einstein was right about that.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's just wonderful! I gave up mostly on seeking out RPW my age, though if I do meet any they are warmly welcomed as friends :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Maybe its due to where you live, but I find that the generation that you are speaking about are just as "me" as the millennials. During this time was the baby boom phenomenon. Divorce, birth control and feminism made their debut in this time. All of my older relatives (aunts, my parents, uncles) are very much this way and can't even begin to understand why I am the opposite.

I'm glad you've found some lovely ladies though! Good friends no matter what age is awesome :)

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the thing though, they were the first (not the ones past 70 though) but that also means that many of them may have rejected it too since it is the first time wave, it is definitely a lot more normal and accepted now.

Exactly! They are the most interesting ladies and they are so sweet. I also met some younger ones in their 50s that were housewives during the 90s family era.

[–]Lucretia99 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've found the same thing when I was knitting a lot. I think I even suggested to one lady in this sub to find a local knitting group to find like minded women!

I would also add, women of Indian culture are pretty RP. I work with a couple of young Indian women (I'm in the US) who are married, they are devoted and, from what I've gathered, submissive to their husbands and are happy about it!

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that's great! I think it's better when we just grow as a group and make more connections.

Really? Around here they're so feminist. Always eager to be some high shot career that makes lots of money because of their parents (not their fault but it's been conditioned) and wouldn't even think of being submissive even in the home. The parents are hypocritically in a traditional relationship.

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's really amazing that you've found a community where you can feel at home in.

I want to add two groups that tend to have a lot more RPW: women of faith and women who are immigrants or their parents were.

Most of my friends are either religious or immigrants (many immigrants where I live) . These two groups tend to have many RPW.

My best friend is confused between BP (american culture) and RP (her parent's culture) and she's often confused and upset and when she has larger BP tendencies. My mom is also an immigrant and I have RP tendencies from her culture.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

As someone who has previously been very religious, I'm very averse to heavily religious people when I can sense them trying to convert me. I've seen it all before.

Though I am an immigrant myself so I can definitely relate with the second point! The problem is immigrant communities often also lose their RPW side since they feel the pressure to fit in with BP Western culture. It happened to mine for a while.

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do agree with that. Conversion is a problem. I tend to have a lot of Muslim friends who don't try to convert you but will offer education if you show interest. Even if a person isn't religious, if they grew up in a religious family they're RP without trying to convert you because they themselves might say they're "spiritual" instead of religious.

Yeah I've seen that too with immigrants. Those that value the Western culture tend to lose their RP and have more problems than even some Western born women. Its a hit and miss.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of this post which is a great read https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2017/07/11/the-games-never-end/

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I think it's funny that you are plugging your own blog while pretending to be someone else.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do not have a blog.