I (f34) have been married to my husband (40) for ten years. In that time he's expressed little interest in sex and avoids/ rejects if I initiate.
Talking to him about it gets nowhere... he denies there's any problem or flat out refuses to discuss it.
He's not gay or bi, the porn he looks at is straight. He hides looking at porn even though I told him I'm fine with it as long as he's cautious and conceals it from the kids accidentally seeing.
I'm thin and fit, in fact thinner than when we first married (currently bmi 18). He likes thin women (judging from his porn tastes). I shower daily even twice daily, good hygiene etc.. He tells me I'm beautiful and seems sincere but it stops there.
I recognize him as the leader of the household and defer to him on most if not all decisions. I don't nag and almost never ask him to do household stuff. We have lawncare done by a service and handymen fix stuff in the house so I never ask him to do 'man stuff' either.
I have offered everything sexually, he just is not interested. We last had sex (I initiated) 8 months ago. I don't expect anything kinky in bed but if he wanted to try, I would.
I know about r/deadbedrooms but they're antagonistic to TRP stuff so thought I'd ask here. It seems I have the reverse gender version of what many marriages face. thanks.