DISCUSSIONIs it really THAT bad that I want a man to take care of me? (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by chipotleturkey

I've been a long-time lurker in this community because I value the ideas here and find it hard to find other women who relate in my own life.

I just graduated with my bachelor's degree a couple of weeks ago, and I'm having a little trouble finding a good job. I currently work part-time at a gym, but I know I need something full-time to be able to take care of myself of course.

It's just that I'm SO stressed out. I've known for a WHILE now that the regular 9 to 5 life is not for me. I'd rather be a wife, then eventually a mother and be able to stay at home. However I'm single right now, and doing my best to employ red pill principles to attract my captain.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Everyone is always asking me if I am going to pursue my master's, but honestly I just don't want to. I'm perfectly okay with finding a nice little job that pays well enough, until I find my captain. But you ladies know that you can't tell that to people, or else they'll chop your head off.

I guess I just need a little assurance, since the pressure of life is kind of getting to me. I honestly don't care about being a high-powered career woman, but that's what everyone kind of expects from women today. I'm definitely not opposed to working, I'll probably always work. But I just want a man to be a provider and have my back while I do what I do. I want that support system.

[–]crownoffeathers 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Being a good wife and mother are worthy goals, but you're deluding yourself if you think it's an escape from the stress and pressures of the world.

After being woken up twice at night to clean up vomit, or dealing with a day full of screaming tantrums, or cleaning up poop smeared on walls, or having food thrown in your face, many parents find it a relief to go to an office and deal with calm, rational adults and be able to eat a hot meal without interruption.

The things that bring you the most joy and satisfaction in life, often require the most effort.

[–]isabeavis 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I just had flashbacks of my youngest, who loved to take off her diaper in the night to smear poop all over herself and her crib. I thought I had blocked that from my memory.

Protip: Put the PJ and diaper on backwards so they can't take it off.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Duct tape works well also.

[–]Cardiscappa 16 points17 points  (1 child)

After being woken up twice at night to clean up vomit, or dealing with a day full of screaming tantrums, or cleaning up poop smeared on walls, or having food thrown in your face, many parents find it a relief to go to an office and deal with calm, rational adults and be able to eat a hot meal without interruption.

This gives me the greatest fears.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There's a balance. Some days are like this, other days are like heaven.

[–]Landry86 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can relate to the OP. I have a good job and like it... but I'd rather be taking care of a baby. Even it means cleaning poop smears off the walls :)

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 23 points24 points  (3 children)

"But I just want a man to be a provider and have my back while I do what I do. I want that support system."

1) There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be a SAHM or SAHW. Not every woman needs to be a high-powered career woman. For that matter, not every guy needs to be a high-powered career guy! Realistically speaking for the vast majority of people, the highlight of their lives will be their children and spouse, and they'll pursue work to make ends meet, not because it's the passionate center of their days.

2) But I do want to caution you, there's a difference between "...while I do what I do" and "...while I do what I want." Your man will take care of you but it's important that you also take care of him! Just in different ways. Being a SAHM with a captain is not a ticket to the easy life - it's a lot of work and stress too, from what I hear ;p

I'm sure you're well-aware of that, of course! I think it'll be healthier and more attractive to men if you internally focus on the work you do want to do, rather than focusing on the work you want your man to do for you. Does that make sense? A lot of young men in my experience are nervous about the way girls can quickly become emotionally reliant and how they may have high expectations for the $ a man will spend on them. You're not that kind of high-maintenance chick so I think you can distinguish yourself by demonstrating what a great support system you are going to be for someone else :)

[–]chipotleturkey[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is good advice, so let me as you this: How do I demonstrate how good of a support system I can be without coming off as desperate or a "pick me" type of woman? I'm not dating anybody seriously right now, so I've been just trying to up my red pill energy in general and use the law of attraction. I've been taken advantage of in the past by men who I thought I was doing nice things for. I kept my mouth closed about certain things, didn't rock the boat. All of the selfless things that men want, but I just ended up feeling used. How do I wield my feminine power without breaking my back to get on the radar of men who haven't even done much to prove themselves to me?

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]TheRedStoic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I came here to say this but you covered it so well.

    What people really want and what society labels people as wanting are two very different thing. Especially to those who are awoken to their goals, and have options. A lot of options.

    [–]-drukpa-kunley- 32 points33 points  (2 children)

    Men's love is sacrificial. We exchange our resources and protection for a woman's chastity, industry and devotion. It is an exchange.

    If you want the support and protection of a man, you must be worthy of his sacrifice. And when I say worthy, I mean worthy in the eyes of the man.

    Every man gets to name his own price for his resources and protection. It's up to you to accept or reject his terms.

    tl;dr - If you want a support system, you must have something of value to exchange for that support. Furthermore, the man gets to determine what is of value and what isn't.

    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    I don't even feel like that is enough now. If you live somewhere like a big city or liberal area, there are lots of women with model looks walking around who have feminine careers, so he has too many options.

    I don't feel like it is practical to want to rely on this. Sure, if it works out great, but how do you know he won't leave you for a younger woman in 10 years? I think a career for a woman is also a must in today's world.

    [–]-drukpa-kunley- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There is no such thing as a sure thing. You have to do what every other living thing does on the planet. Play the hand you were dealt to the best of your abilities. The rest is out of your control.

    Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
    -- Helen Keller

    [–]Willow-girl 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Make sure you are running toward something, and not just away from something -- that's my best advice.

    [–]pennynotrcutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I think this is so perfectly and succinctly put. I couldn't have said it better with such brevity.

    [–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Am I wrong for feeling this way? Everyone is always asking me if I am going to pursue my master's, but honestly I just don't want to. I'm perfectly okay with finding a nice little job that pays well enough, until I find my captain. But you ladies know that you can't tell that to people, or else they'll chop your head off.

    There's no right or wrong in how you feel. Just be honest with whoever you date. Be honest about what your aspirations in life are. Some men will walk away as a result and that's a good thing. It'll make vetting that much easier.

    [–][deleted]  (17 children)


    [–]Waterboo2 5 points6 points  (12 children)

    There are plenty overweight low SMV who are SAHM. I'm not sure of what op's value is but she sounds fit, at least. I don't see why op should give up her desire to be SAHM if that's what she wants. If she is a 7 or higher and has a good RMV, why would she find that difficult to find a man who wants the same arrangement? Maybe you're a man who wouldn't be into that arrangement, but there are plenty of men who would like their partner to raise their children instead of nannies and daycare.

    Also, I don't know where you got the idea in op's post that being a SAHM means she only wants to be objectified? My mother was a SAHM and my father didn't objectify her. He didn't like the idea of nannies, which I feel is normal.

    Maybe you just never had the experience growing up of seeing SAHM and their husbands. But I lived in a town where being SAHM was a norm and it seems to work out well for a lot of families.

    I actually feel like these days women are stretching themselves too thin- having to work and then come home and take care of the children is actually a leading cause of divorce - they feel like their husbands are making them do too much and it causes resentment.

    [–][deleted]  (11 children)


      [–]Waterboo2 3 points4 points  (10 children)

      You're looking at this like the man isn't benefiting from the SAHM arrangement at all. That is a silly way to look at it. If a man has a SAHM wife, then he gets the benefit of seeing his wife using her maternal Instinct to raise their child, and he also gets the benefit of not having to pay a stranger to raise his own child. There are plenty men who would enjoy seeing the woman they love raise their own child. Weird that you don't seem to understand this...

      And a woman doesn't have to ask a man his salary or anything. You find out the man's career and lifestyle naturally through conversation and can easily figure out a ballpark range of his salary. It's not like a woman blatantly asks the man about his finances. Just like a man can see if a woman has breasts naturally with his peripheral vision and doesn't have to stare directly at her chest to know.

      You know, most relationships are like a business transaction at their core. Each partner gets something out of the other - sex, love, tenderness, childcare, money. If a man loves a woman for her sex and love, and then they have children, why would he not want her to take care of the child, if he has the finances to allow it (which plenty men do have the money, at least until the child is in grade school) I mean you don't have to pay your wife an hourly wage to take care of your own baby.

      [–]mwait 2 points3 points  (9 children)

      You are correct that men do benefit from a SAHM arrangement... However, there is a reason why such an arrangement with a high value man is so coveted. And that is because the woman benefits more than the man does.

      [–]Waterboo2 1 point2 points  (8 children)

      Not really, when you consider the other option. You still have to find someone to care of your young children. other option involves paying a stranger an hourly wage to take care of the child. So when you think about it a man will benefit more from having a SAHM because he doesn't have to pay her anything. Not to mention his wife gets to bond with the children and if he's a decent man who loves his wife and children he would enjoy seeing them bond. I guess you're right in that you need a high quality man, if "high quality" means a loving man who makes enough money.

      [–]mwait 1 point2 points  (7 children)

      Sorry, but there is absolutely no way you can convince me that a man gets more out of that arrangement than a woman.

      [–]Waterboo2 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      "Who is getting more" is a weird way to frame the question. should be "what's best for our family". And SAHM is good for a lot of families. SAHM is still a job, just an unpaid one. It is raising a human. I mean why do you think nannies and daycare people get paid to take care of children? It is not easy, they would do it for free if it was fun and easy

      [–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      I don't think it's about "who is getting more," it's about how much competition there is. It's relatively RARE for a guy to make enough $ to have a SAHW/SAHM, and possess all the other traits /u/Thelaughingrhino mentioned. Probably 5% of all men? 10%, at most? (Depends on the country, and where people are willing to live, only the top 1% can afford a good single-salary lifestyle where I'm from).

      Conversely how many women would be willing to be a SAHM? Would be a loving mother to their own children? 25%? 50%? Maybe even most women!

      [–]Waterboo2 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      I think there are a lot more men than 5-10% who make enough money to afford a SAHM. I don't know where you live but I live in the US and you don't need to be super wealthy to afford it. Remember, you don't pay a SAHM an hourly wage like you need to pay a nanny or a daycare, you need to take this into account. Paying someone to take care of a newborn baby or toddler is even more expensive so a SAHM is pretty useful in that baby's first few years.

      I think, at least for the first years of the child's life, before he goes into pre school or grade school, that a SAHM is a good option for many families .

      [–]perrierwoof 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      The best way to share a life is to build a life worth sharing.

      I loved this sentence and the more I think of it the more it's true. I'm just thinking of a woman who is great domestically but nothing else - what more could she share besides household duties? That's why it's so important to be your own person/woman. Have your own interests and hobbies. Then you can contribute something to the relationship besides just exchanging provider/domestic/sexual favors. What's more to you besides being a maid or a prostitute or an escort?

      [–]Waterboo2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What?! Being great domestically and also good at pleasing a man sexually is a big thing in a marriage! Why are you acting like this isn't valued? take into account how so many marriages are these days- wife is fat and lazy and the couple rarely has sex. A woman who keeps herself fit, gives frequent sex, and is good domestically is a blessing.

      [–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is such good advice and so well-written! Past me could have used it too.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lots of women would like to be SAHMs or part time working moms, but simply don't have the option for it.

      I have met so many delusional women who think they're going to be a SAHM, even ones who are really attractive, but they are all overlooked for the woman who is stunningly beautiful AND has a successful career (even if it doesn't pay that well) because that's an even bigger trophy to most men.

      Why choose the pretty trophy when you can have a pretty trophy with bells and whistles that is so unique?

      [–][deleted]  (11 children)


      [–]testmypatience 1 point2 points  (10 children)

      What do you think is a 9 to 5 job in a relationship?

      [–][deleted]  (8 children)


        [–]testmypatience 0 points1 point  (7 children)

        You said stay at home mom is exhausting and not like 50s tv.

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)


          [–]testmypatience 3 points4 points  (5 children)

          I have multiple kids that I took care of by myself and it hasn't ever been as frustrating as what you just made it out to be. Kids are simple compared to a corporate job and corporate office coworkers.

          I had thought that comment you just made was what you were saying/going to expound upon after I asked you to. It's one I've heard many times.

          Kids are not that difficult to take care of. Sidenote, 2 small boys and 2 girls.

          I found that dealing with your partner is a lot more work than dealing with your kids. Way easier than dealing with coworkers and bosses too.

          Over time I've come to the conclusion that a career is pointless if you don't own or get any real credit for your work. If what your work is doesn't have a lasting personal meaning or effect on a person, then it just isn't all that worthwhile as a personal achievement. Oh wow, I worked for a company until my eyes gave out, and nobody will give a crap after I leave that place. (example)

          I've done some massive things in my career and NONE of it really matters except to put on resume so that I can get another job. That new job will likely never have the depth of understanding about just how big the things are on that resume too. So it's basically like doing awesome on a video game and achieving a lot in it only to realize it is a digital game that nobody cares how well you did and if they did what value would that even hold.

          So staying at home with the kids and actually making a worthwhile contribution to a person that will then go on to do something in the world is way more worth the time a person has in their life.

          So looking at the difficulty and stresses of the career world and the value of raising kids vs career work achievements, I'd say it is amazing just hanging out with the kids even if they are messy little rug rats.

          Staying at home getting you bored? Well that might be because you don't do things with the kids and you just babysit them. Taking kids into your world teaches them about life and that is nessesary. Take them out to shop for things, to look at prices of things you need to buy, etc.

          Always love bringing my kids to walmart, menards, the mall, parks, museums, etc. They go with me and learn from my actions about the world instead of being stuck at home or in contrived play dates and sporting events that they didn't even want to go to.

          [–]Landry86 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          I'm sorry but I think we seem to be confused as to what "SAHM" means. Sure, "stay at home" is in the phrase- but I am totally with you in that I believe kids need to get out of the house and learn about the world.

          No offense but you are literally the first person who has said kids are "not that difficult". I think you and I are opposites. I don't have kids and I have a corporate job and I am fairly high up in my company and I am not stressing about it that much. It gets challenging at times but I'd say for the most part it's "not that difficult"

          And pregnancy and childbirth... don't get me started. You need to be very very fit to handle that!

          [–]testmypatience 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          No offense but you are literally the first person who has said kids are "not that difficult".

          How many people do you talk to? Most of my guy friends feel this way. Most are upset at how the mothers are screwing up their kids. (child custody sharing scenarios)

          And pregnancy and childbirth... don't get me started. You need to be very very fit to handle that!

          Men work labor jobs like roofing, fixing roads, mining, garbage men, etc. You need to be very fit to handle that!

          [–]Landry86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Both parties should be fit. It is extremely important.

          How many people do I talk to? I am very popular in my town and have many many friends. My family also lives here.

          You probably live in the United States. There, the women are screwing things up because they don't understand their place. They are selfish and instead of putting their children first, the child comes 3rd, 4th, or 5th behind her petroleum landman job she needs to afford a new Michael Kors bag every month, her BMW, her dog, and her ego.

          American women are killing America. They are killing everything. Thanks to feminism, they have been taught "girl power" at a young age. They think they are invincible. They live in a fantasy land. Every American girl is the star of her own reality TV show and everyone is watching

          Red pill girls are a little different. They know their place, they respect their captain, and they make wonderful mothers

          [–]Landry86 0 points1 point  (0 children)


          [–]applemist92 7 points8 points  (3 children)

          You're using RPW as a crutch. The solution to being stressed when real-life hits you in the face after college is NOT to saddle up with someone who can bail you out. It's bad for your character and bad for your self esteem.

          Being a good wife and mother isn't any easier than a full time job. If you're stressed now on your own, you'll be even MORE stressed with children-- but you can't just run away from them the way you're trying to run now.

          Pay your dues in the real world first.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          You're using RPW as a crutch.

          I couldn't agree more.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Congrats on your wedding!

          [–]justanotherusername4 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          It sounds to me like you are looking for a man to take away your anxiety. No captain can do that. Please don't believe the fairy tale of "If only ..... THEN I'd feel at peace/be happy". It won't happen. If you struggle with anxiety, I suggest you deal with your anxiety head on. (I wish I followed this advice myself. I'm trying to get to the bottom of my anxiety issues right now because I hadn't before.).

          I also feel you haven't found a passion in your life yet. What makes you tick? What are you good at? There are other options beside 9-5 jobs where you work to pay for a house you are rarely in. Maybe go travel, go do volunteering or a project abroad, get an RV and go minimalist so you can get by with a part-time job. You are single so there is no better time than now for these things.

          [–]Landry86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I agree that this is true. Any "issues" do need to be taken care of prior to dating. We call this "monk mode" :)

          [–]chipotleturkey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          The only thing I'm passionate about is writing and television production. I'm definitely on the look out for those types of opportunities, but I know it will be hard. That's why I'm being realistic and spending most of my time looking for full-time work.

          And you're right. I do have anxiety that I am trying to get a hold of. I know a captain won't relieve all of that anxiety, but it will help a little while I try to find what it is that I can do and contribute to society.

          [–]Landry86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          There's nothing wrong with how you feel!!!! It's biology. You're probably fertile and just wanting a family. That's natural and there is nothing wrong with that.

          [–]MetaphysicalBlanket 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I feel this.

          [–]isabeavis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a SAHW and/or SAHM, but, you also have to be your own person; with interests and hobbies and a good work ethic (because running a home and being a mother isn't easy). Most men won't be attracted to someone they see as needy.

          You'll learn a lot from working at a 'regular 9 to 5' job for a while (how to be well-presented, how to follow a routine, how to organize your time, how to follow direction to ensure good corporate outcomes, how to meet deadlines, how to engage in conversation, how to accept critiques). ALL of these will help you in managing your home eventually.

          [–]Waterboo2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Being SAHM is probably the most feminine and maternal job of them all. And it is a commendable one.

          I personally like the idea of being a SAHM. I don't like how people are encouraging women to "go back to work" when their children are still so young and then they pay some random woman to nanny and take care of their kids. I think it is a lot more natural to take care of your own children rather than some woman you barely know or to throw them in daycare. I mean if you have a demanding career or need the income, then of course, get a nanny. But if you want to be a SAHM and your husband is on board then that's great.

          [–]testmypatience 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          You took on debt and want to find a man right away which will leave him paying your debt?

          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          I can't get on board with the general acceptance of this post, myself. Overall, I find it distasteful to expect ANYONE to take care of you.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Its just not practical. 2 good incomes now were the equivalent of 1 good income (the husband's) in the past, for the same quality of life. If a man is making a massive salary on his own, he often does not want to settle down until he's 45-50 just because he can have lots of pretty plates and freedom. He can even get his plates pregnant and pay for them to care for the child because that's accepted in today's world too.

          Its important to be realistic about the times.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          The military is full of captains. Do a tour or four.

          [–]Rivkariver2 Star 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          No it's not. My health makes me weak and I'm realistic about needing help. No need to be a kept women, but humility is important, admitting you need help. Everyone tells people to jump ship if things aren't always magically ideal, but it's ok to be a realist and practical.

          Just find a man who likes caring for you, don't manipulate anyone and you'll be fine.

          Here's how I know you aren't crazy: I'm the same as you. I used to think every person at the 9-5 was as stressed as me. I thought they were stronger for overcoming it. I like my job, but I will never feel at home in an office where random people boss me. It's inherently anxiety causing. I'm comfortable at home or out about doing errands.

          But I was wrong. Tons of people feel peaceful and at home at the office. They are actually loving it. We are all called to many things and you are not lazy or bad. You just may be different. But your ideal is normal, a team works better than all alone.

          Edit: I have no desire for more education for its own sake. People go deeply into debt just for an abstract degree just for the sake of it and for status. There is no need unless you truly deeply want to. Ignore the pressure.

          [–]chipotleturkey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Thank you. You understand EXACTLY how I feel. I hope everything works out for you.

          [–]PatBuchanan2012 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          From a purely objective view, wanting to find a provider is both understandable and normal for a woman. Such a desire is natural, as it is directly tied to our evolvement as a species, since in the past finding a provider for both security and material needs was the only way for a woman to both ensure her own survival and later on, that of her offspring. So, from a strictly evolutionary perspective and as an abstract, wanting such is fine. However, in order to get and maintain such support requires actions on your part. It might be utilitarian to view relationships like this, but I’d suggest you view any hypothetical one in your future from the perspective of it being an (emotionally-infused) business deal. To make sure you’re maintaining your end of the “bargain”, ask yourself these questions from time to time:

          Do I give him the proper respect he deserves for taking care of me?

          Do I show him the affection and love he deserves?

          Am I being loyal to him, as he is being loyal to me by providing for me?

          Am I maintaining my feminine duties to him physically and emotionally?

          If the answer to all of these is yes, then you’re doing good and absolutely deserve being provided for since you are being a truly committed partner. If you are not meeting these conditions, you will need to reevaluate because your relationship will be verging on the parasitic, to be blunt, on your end. Such a relationship will not last in such a case, and will be detrimental to the both of you, as he will eventually grow tired of your mistreatment of him while you will never be satisfied because of your unhappiness and lack of respect for your partner.

          [–]dottywine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          No, nothing wrong with it. However, you need to definitely learn how to cope with pressure. As a wife, as a mom, as a leader of a household you will face some amazing pressures and you need to be able to be a good role model to your children and continue being a loving spouse through it all. There is still pressure of life. So if the role of housewife appeals to you, that is excellent but if it appeals to you because you hate normal people life, you may be in for a rude awakening when you finally tie the knot.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

          Not bad at all. Who wouldn't want someone to take care of them? And you're not alone about your job. Most jobs suck big time -- that's just the economic system we have and it's not changing anytime soon. The majority of people, men and women, would rather be doing something else, typically spending more time with their loved ones.

          [–]Willow-girl 8 points9 points  (3 children)

          Not bad at all. Who wouldn't want someone to take care of them?

          I'm reminded of the old saying, "The one who marries for money ends up earning every penny of it."

          [–]testmypatience 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          That's a great quote.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          That's one extreme. There's definitely some room for cooperation between "I have all the power" and "You have all the power."

          [–]therealpkg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Not in this day and age.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Its not practical unless you live in a rural area and marry your high school sweetheart.

          Why? Because it is not socially accepted that women without jobs and careers are golddiggers, leaches, or lazy. That's just how it is now.

          Also, it now takes 2 good incomes to create the life than ONE good income (the husband's) used to provide. So if you live somewhere even moderately expensive (like a big city or liberal area) then he will see a lack of career as a red flag.

          You can have a goal of being a SAHM but honestly unless you get REALLY lucky, most men are going to see it as a red flag so you'll at least need a career in the meantime. That's just how the world is today.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Some women prefer to be around children and a husband vs being around a ton of adults in the workplace. I think that's totally ok! I'm really only comfortable working in childcare settings, other jobs just drain the lifeforce out of me. I sometimes fantasize about being in a society where being a SAHM is a financially viable choice, because what I love the most is spending time with children and teaching them about the world.

          You do not have to aspire to be a career-woman just like people tell career women that they don't have to aspire to be "barefoot and pregnant." Women have the right to choose their path in life, your desired path is valid as any other.