45
46

RELATIONSHIPSVetting a Man Part 3: Alpha and Beta traits- finding the right mix (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by RedPillWomenRPW Writing Team

Vetting for Alpha and Beta traits: Selecting the right mix for stable commitment [Part 3]

In RP parlance, Alpha refers to the male behaviors that operate on the spectrum of attraction, and Beta refers to the male behaviors that operate on the spectrum of comfort. Dating is a game where men want to get sex from a woman and women want to get commitment from a man. The higher quality the target, the better the rewards. Being consciously aware of alpha and beta tells can give you a big leg up in vetting men.

Different women don't necessarily want the same exact things out of a man in the long run, but there are some common things that virtually all women either do want or should want from a man for the sake of maximizing the chances of a happy, successful, long-term relationship. One framework for thinking about all of this is looking at a combination of how alpha and how beta he is in general. Being just a little conscious of what you're looking at with these characteristics can really simplify a lot of the confusion that some people have with the vetting process.

Red Flags and Green Flags

These can fall into Alpha (attraction, masculinity, dominating his environment, etc.) and Beta (comfort, financial stability, importance of family, commitment) categories. I want to point out that one red flag doesn't necessarily mean that a man is a bad choice, and one green flag doesn't necessarily mean he's a great choice. However, if you're stacking up a few red flags, you'd better have some pretty incredible green flags to go with it if you want a chance at a long-term, successful and happy relationship with the guy.

Alpha Red Flags:

  • Regularly flirts with other women in front of you
  • Makes it clear that he doesn't care about your needs or feelings
  • Uses fear/intimidation/anger or other negative actions to get his way
  • Cavalier attitude about long-term consequences and externalized costs
  • Lack of stable long-term relationships in his life; all the people in his past are considered assholes
  • Expresses "Dark triad" traits that amount to Narcissistic, Antisocial, or Borderline Personality Disorder manifestations

Alpha Green Flags:

  • Takes care of his appearance and looks attractive and presentable
  • Organically draws flirting from other women, but responds in a way that saves face for them and you
  • Has his "own life" with hobbies, things he does for himself, etc
  • Uses positive reinforcement and charisma to get his way; people want to follow his lead
  • Picks battles well; respectful toward legitimate authority figures (Has anyone ever AMOG'd their way out of a speeding ticket?)

Beta Red Flags:

  • Acts needy
  • Bad hygiene
  • Poor diet, lack of exercise
  • Won't lead- in your relationship or anywhere else
  • Lacks drive, passion, and purpose in life: dead-end job, lack of stimulating hobbies and interests

Beta Green Flags:

  • Financially secure and responsible
  • Future-oriented, has long-term plans and goals in place
  • Treats people well in general (without overdoing it to the point of supplication)
  • Reasonably responsive to your needs and the problems you bring to him
  • Healthy, stable relationships in his life: family, friends, colleagues

The Alpha/Beta Mix

The ideal mate for a RPW is going to be a guy who has a relatively balanced mix of alpha and beta. If he's got too much alpha and not enough beta, that means he's just going to want to hit it and send you on your way. If he's got too much beta and not enough alpha, then he's going to be so unattractive that it's going to feel like someone just dropped a dog turd in your lap when he tries to hold your hand. What this basically means is that you need to make sure you're dealing with a guy who has green flags for both alpha and beta, and not just a lack of red flags.

Many RP women describe their excellent spouses/LTRs as "Soft Alpha" or "Greater Beta." These gray area classifications show one of the limitations of the somewhat simplistic Greek Lettering System for Men.TM The takeaway point is, Red Pill Women have reported over and over that a healthy blend of leadership and provisioning traits is a proven formula for a good life partner.

Vetting a new partner is the most important point of control in a woman's love life. Use your advantage in the sexual marketplace to carefully CHOOSE from among your suitors the best man possible for you individually, by using a well-thought-out vetting plan.


About the author /u/RedPillWomen is a composite user ID for posting the collaborative works of the RedPillWomen Mod and Writing Team.

This article was written by u/VigilantRedRooster; the section on Alpha/Beta traits builds upon this framework by u/RedPillNobody. Input and suggestions provided by u/luckylittlestar, u/missnissa, u/mssadiedunham, and u/rproller.


[–]QueenBee126 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you ladies!! Such a great, thorough article. I am bookmarking it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great you guys!

[–]wangj2357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finally my thoughts put into words! Everyone needs balance. Guys seem to think they have to be either completely Alpha or else they'll be completely Beta. This balance shouldn't be too hard for men to attain IMO.