DISCUSSIONTaking care of men when sick and the “man flu” (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

An article came out recently about how the Man flu is real. study Do you do anything special when your man is sick?

I think the way The man flu and men who suffer are being made fun by the media is horrible. If the main bread winner in your house is sick you should do everything you can to make him feel better. The fact that men are more likely to not seek medical attention when needed and suffer worse than women shouldn’t be something to be made fun of. What are your thoughts on the man flu?

[–]NubianIbex 29 points30 points  (2 children)

You're right, we shouldn't dismiss or ridicule a man's sickness. On the other hand, I think it's best to tread that fine line between caring for him in a feminine manner and mothering/controlling him. In my opinion, it's important to trust him he knows what he needs in order to get better.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There are updated male participation rules that every male user needs to know about and follow. From now on, men will be issued an automatic 2 day ban if they fail to follow the rules. It is cumbersome for moderators to repeat the same instruction throughout the day.

    [–]Foraging_Health_Nut 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    I attend to my man as much as he'll let me if he's under the weather. Mostly he just wants to sleep, but sometimes I can get him to take a bath, make soup, and I load him up with herbal remedies and tea/tonics. In general, I always make dinner, put the heat on in his bathroom before he comes home from work, take care of baby through the night, do the shopping, etc, but if he's not well I am more insistent that he not help with dishes or anything and just rest, and I'm extra mindful to take baby to a different room right away if she's awake and overly excited at a ridiculous hour so he doesn't get woken up.

    [–]anothdae 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Meh, take it as an opportunity to pamper him IMO.

    It happens maybe once a year, and if he is seeking a few days of being cared for... maybe it's more of an excuse to seek that behavior rather than him just asking for it outright.

    It's nice to take a break from everything every once in a while.

    [–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I run him baths, make him soup, keep meds stocked, and make sure he has enough blankets while he's passed out in bed beneath a pile of cats.

    The only time I get on his case about seeing a doctor is if there is no improvement after a week, but this has only happened once.

    [–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I love when "man in a pile of cats" happens. Usually the cats will hang out with my husband when he's sick. I think they like him better than me. :-P

    [–]HB3234 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    My partner reminds me a bit of that Monty Python sketch, "tis but a flesh wound!!!" -- so if he acts sick, I take it seriously.

    [–]Olaf_Bezerker 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now, so I can pretty much read his mind AND I can predict when he's getting sick. He will always deny he is sick until it turns into the fucking plague or something - that'll never change, I know. :) But by now, I can see it coming on and I stock up on all of his favorite stuff, the exact brand of cough drops he likes since most brands give him a stomach ache, etc. I really enjoy knowing him so well that I can do this stuff for him. Nobody knows him like that, not even his own mother.

    And then I just take care of EVERYTHING. Just...EVERYTHING. You name it, and I take care of it. Meanwhile he stays in bed, watches TV, and eats when I bring him food.

    Idk I think he freaking loves it. I used to worry about being "mothering" to him but not anymore. I mean, my role as his wife will not always look the same. It depends on his needs at the time, right? Sometimes I want to be the untamed sex goddess, sometimes I want to be the angel who brings him chicken noodle soup. If I was constantly following him around with a box of bandaids and lecturing him about keeping his room clean, then yeah, that's mothering. But being able to morph into a nurturing figure when the time calls for it, I enjoy, and so does he.

    He's always very grateful during and afterwards and usually wants to do something nice for me when he's back on his feet. It's weird but I kind of enjoy when he's sick? I mean I hate that he's sick, but I can be really productive when I'm in taking-care-of-him mode, and he's always so nice to me afterwards.

    [–]fairydust91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    HAHA I love this. I also kind of like it when he's sick because I get to take care of him the way he takes care of me when I'm not feeling well. & I think mine freaking loves it too haha!

    [–]deathbypurple 6 points7 points  (11 children)

    Um, to be honest I think most men do kinda overreact to things like the common cold and it's not because they have weaker immunity and I don't think it's so horrible to say so :) I always thought it's partly because they don't get sick so often (compared to women) and partly because they enjoy the attention.

    Of course if he's seriously unwell then it's no laughing matter! but most men with colds are well enough to play games and watch TV and enjoy the females in their lives catering to their wishes, and I think it's cute and a nice time to spoil him a bit :)

    [–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Latest research has shown that "man flu" is actually a thing. Also, in regards to sickness in general, men are less likely to go to a doctor for minor ailments and discomfort until an illness has progressed to the point that serious medical attention is needed.

    [–]deathbypurple 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Yeah I've read the link in the OP as well, but I still kinda don't get it... I mean if there are no severe symptoms and the person is feeling fine enough to laugh, read books, play games or watch tv, then they're objectively not dying yet? And if somebody perceives their less severe symptoms as severe, isn't that the same as overreacting?

    [–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    If the differences found in the above studies are real, the evolutionary purpose of men’s higher symptoms from viral respiratory infections remains unclear. Zuk postulates that “if males require, for example, testosterone for aggressive behaviour and the development of male secondary sexual characteristics, selection for winning at the high-stakes game males play may override the cost of any immunosuppressive effects of the hormone.”30 Likewise, the authors of another study speculate that reduced immunity is less important for men because males of many species are more likely to die from trauma before an infection kills them.16 Other academics agree that across species, the male strategy of “live hard, die young” arising from stronger intra-sexual competition than among females has led to less investment in immunity31 and that “mounting immune responses to clear viruses requires metabolic resources that might otherwise be used for other biological processes, such as growth, maintenance of secondary sex characteristics, and reproduction.”32

    Avitsur and colleagues suggest that the increase in male sickness may be a strategy important for survival since “it promotes energy conservation and reduces the risk of encountering predators.”9 Classic modes of energy conservation may include lying on the couch, not getting out of bed, or receiving assistance with basic activities of daily living, which could all be effective for avoiding predators.


    The concept of man flu, as commonly defined, is potentially unjust. Men may not be exaggerating symptoms but have weaker immune responses to viral respiratory viruses, leading to greater morbidity and mortality than seen in women. There are benefits to energy conservation when ill. Lying on the couch, not getting out of bed, or receiving assistance with activities of daily living could also be evolutionarily behaviours that protect against predators.

    Are relevant to your comment.

    Watching tv, reading, playing games and laughing are not outside the scope of normal behavior for people that are sick. Even people that are severely ill (Cancer for example) still find the ability to engage in various hobbies and laugh.

    If you've ever taken care of a sick child, even with severe flu symptoms, few will pass up the opportunity to do something they enjoy like watch a movie.

    Also, according to the article that you say you have read, it specifically says that it's possible men have a weaker immune systems. Which means they are not 'perceiving their less severe symptoms to be severe' but that they are actually more adversely affected by symptoms. Think of it as a sensitivity or an allergy. A normal person without allergies can garden without issue, while someone with an allergy sensitivity may start to get a headache and runny nose just by spending time outside.

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)


      [–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      You may disagree with a user, but you must do so without being rude and snarky.

      Edit your comment and reply to me. I will review and re-approve if appropriate.

      [–][deleted]  (4 children)


        [–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        1. You are overreacting.

        2. The comments are in no way similar. The first user was making general observations about common patterns many men exhibit, and the comment ended on a positive note. Your comment was directly insulting a member of the RPW community which is against the rules.

        3. Please do not mistake a moderation direction as an invitation to argue and debate.

        4. You can edit your comment or move on. I won't ask again, and continuing this conversation would be an unwise decision on your part.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I am giving you every opportunity to avoid a ban here. Just stop.

          [–]Rivkariver2 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I don't really understand this term. Im a woman and I'm the same, whenever I have a bad cold I think I'm dying. Being sick is rough so just take care of your SO.

          [–]fairydust91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I like getting to take care of him when he's sick, especially since he takes such good care of me. :) I just make sure he's super warm and I'll fetch him as many teas and snacks as he wants & a massage if needed. I do encourage him to go to the Dr but will back down if he's decided he's not going. Like you said, he works hard, so when he's not feeling well, he deserves the most TLC ever.