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Welcome to Red Pill women (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire

Welcome, I'm RedPillSchool, the head moderator of TheRedPill. I'd like to personally welcome you to RedPillWomen.

What's this all about?

One of the main tenets of red pill understanding is that the dating/mating/marriage market is considerably broken. Now, on /r/theredpill, you probably hear guys bitch and moan because men's and women's mating strategies are at odds with eachother. They are, kinda.

Here's the quick and dirty: We all have biological imperatives that our brains are programmed to try to make us accomplish in order to find happiness. The good news is, we're not slaves to the drive, and once we understand the drive we can be proactive to either satisfy the urge, or change our goals to mitigate it.

A man's biological imperative is to procreate. Some men (the few-- less than 20%) are very attractive to women and may take on as many partners as he can. There's no telling if he'll stick around to help with the young, but rest assured he'll make the rounds. Other men aren't as attractive are happy being providers. This is a majority of men. They want to settle down, have a family. Their biological impulses, believe it or not, is to make a woman happy. It's both a feature, and as we've discovered on /r/theredpill, one of man's biggest weaknesses.

A woman's biological imperative is to procreate. (We're not so different!) Her strategy is slightly different. She wants provisions, but she also wants the highest quality DNA to procreate with. Unfortunately for guys, this sometimes ends up with women having sex with one of the attractive but noncommittal men, and then finding another man to do the provisioning. Her strategy is two-fold: have sex with the highest value males as possible, and get commitment from the highest value males possible. If possible: get both in one man. If not, get both from separate men.

The reason for this drive for the absolute best DNA is because the biological cost for women is higher than men when making babies. It's a 9-month + many year expenditure. For men, it's about 15-seconds to half an hour (or longer if you're lucky, bow chicka wow ow).

Naturally that means women cannot afford to "accidentally" end up with somebody of lower caliber, as this takes up precious time and resources that could be dedicated to higher caliber DNA.

This strategy, which is mainly unconscious, is called hypergamy: maximizing rejections to reach the best quality males as possible.

Now, these imperatives we speak about here aren't set in stone, some have stronger instincts than others, and all men and women have the free will to ignore them. You don't have to give in to your biological imperatives. But know that left unchecked, most men and women will act on these imperatives without realizing it- causing visible trends that are easy to spot if you know what you're looking for.

Another point to be made is that blindly following your biological imperatives may bring you short-term happiness (that's what it's programmed to do!), but isn't necessarily the longest term happiness plan. In fact, following your instincts really only serves the purpose of making sure you make a bunch more of yourself.

So Why Red Pill Women? Isn't the red pill all misogynistic and stuff?

It isn't. The red pill is about accepting reality for what it is. As you've seen above, men and women's mating strategies are at odds with each other, and a lot of men on /r/theredpill are a bit angry. But they're not angry because this is reality. They're angry because they spent a majority of their lives being told that this isn't reality, and putting them at a severe disadvantage.

Once we embrace what reality is, we find our relationships to be more successful, more fulfilling, and a better deal for ourselves and for the women we've dated. We've concentrated on what women like, and by doing so have been able to make ourselves into mates that women would want.

But what do women have to do?

Well, the past half a century was the march of feminism telling women that they don't need to do anything for men, that they are perfect and don't need to change, that change or compromise is oppression, and that you can have it all. A career, kids, family, education- it's all yours.

The problem is that our culture ended up self indulgent with no long-term goals, and thusly- no long term happiness (at least where family is concerned).

With divorce rates skyrocketing, single motherhood increasing, never-marrieds piling up, and hook-up culture and one night stands at an all time high, people are reaching 35 going.. where's my family?

That's when Red Pill Women comes into play.

We had a radical idea- what if men and women learned about their natures and took proactive control of them, came up with a compromise that made both parties happier in the long run?

We're a cooperative species, and great things can be achieved when we do. Women, you have the ability to find happiness when you embrace the reality of your biological urges and impulses. You have the ability and the requirement to become the optimal mate for your optimal mate. Do not believe the hype that you are good enough how you are, and realize that in life, the only things worth having take work. That's for men and women.

RedPillWomen is self-improvement and long-term goal setting to maximize your personal happiness.

What RedPillWomen is and is not.

The problem I've seen with female-based sexual strategy forums is that they inevitably focus on what's politically correct. They focus on tempering the message so as not to offend. Because ladies, like it or not, our entire culture currently revolves around not offending you. Seriously. That's today's culture.

This forum will embarce truth first and foremost, sensitivity be damned. While I encourage people to remain positive towards each other, plain insults are discouraged, I understand that sometimes the truth will seem like an insult.

RedPillWomen is not the place for men to show up and spout nonsense. We have an unofficial rule on /r/theredpill that basically amounts to: don't listen to women about sexual strategy. It's not that we don't like women, it's that women really have a hard time seeing past what they like to understand men have a different palate. The same goes for men, perhaps even worse so. Men, being the less discriminating gender, are more-or-less programmed to find women sexy.. no matter what. And when a woman says, "I like to eat pie with my fingers" you'll have sex-thirsty guys line up out the door willing to say anything for female validation. "I love women who eat with their fingers."

Trust me when I say, this validation may feel good, but it's entirely useless if you want to find success in mating and in a family.

Men will say anything for female validation. Men are utterly and completely blind when it comes to what attracts them. They are clueless. They are conditioned by society to tell you that things we're supposed to find attractive are attractive. And why not? In our minds, if I find you attractive, and you exhibit certain qualities, it's hard to isolate which qualities were the ones we found attractive.

But you're not looking for low-hanging-fruit. You could just walk into a bar with no clothes if you want to make men drool. But instead, you want to make yourself into the woman who will snag the highest value mate. You want to redefine high value to mean longest-term happiness. And you don't want just any old schmo to drool over you. So don't take schmo's advice. It's terrible.

Welcome! I hope this will be a productive place to discuss sexual strategy for women. If you have any questions, do not hessitate to post and ask away. We have a great moderator team that will provide some excellent insight. With us we have /u/redpillwifey and joining us soon is /u/TempestTcup who are both great voices to lead this community. RPLady is new to the community, but is very well adept and I trust she'll also bring some interesting insights to the communty. Let's get started!


[–]Yeppersi 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Hmm interesting subreddits. I agree re. the biological impulses. There's one key word though. If men want to understand the most basic element of attraction us women feel it can be summed up as POWER.

Yep, it's that simple. Strength and confident sexuality are masculine traits that women seek out whether consciously or subconsiously. The questions applicable for today are what constitutes a powerful man? The first and most obvious is physical strength, but the ultimate combination is physical strength with an alpha personality. A man needs to know who the fuck he is and where he's going. A stong sense of self in combination with a commanding presence is very much an aphrodisiac. I've met men that I wouldn't have considered attractive physically, only to find an alpha personality that commanded respect and resulted in attraction. Men like that are intoxicating. Put them in a room and watch the women be drawn in.

On the other hand, humans are essentially animals and can smell weakness and fear from a distance. Not in the literal sense, but in observing body language and the way someone speaks. If you're confident, you walk confidently. If you're unsure of yourself there are mannerisms that give you away. Women select mates who are perceived as being strong and self assured. Any indications to the contrary may not be consciously picked up, but will indeed be noticed and will result in an negative overall assessment.

I've many times heard men ask the age old question "why are women attracted to assholes?", the answer can be found in that often times those assholes appear cocky and not needy. They give off a vibe similar to someone who puts a low offer on a car then goes to walk away only to have the sales guy stop them. If you don't need something, that makes you appear to have the power. The person who is trying to sell something to you all of a sudden feels like they don't have the upper hand any more.

For TRP men, my main rhetorical question here would be - can you genuinely redevelop yourself? Can you transition from someone who doesn't eminate confidence to someone that does? I'm not sure :/ There are so very many layers to the whole person that is the alpha male. You can fake it until you make it, but if that mask slips (and it will) at some point, if you're not genuinely confident or genuinely commanding, the attraction may fade.

[–]shaboinker 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Here's a perspective for you: I'd say I am an upper-beta male that disguises well as an alpha. I am 26, have money and a great job. I hook up on average with an attractive new girl a month, and have 1-2 regulars at all times when I am single.

I am very outgoing and direct when you first meet me and in social circles. I am challenging and mysterious and you know there are many women vying for my attention. But then when you become my girlfriend, get to know me 1-3 years down the road, I have a soft, gooey center. I truly only love one woman once I fall in love, and treat her as my family/my blood. I am not out to play games or hurt her. I am still desired by women around me, but you have learned that I would never do anything with them to hurt you.

In both relationships I have been in, both with very hot women, although totally different, a similarity remains -- when my edge is lost, the relationship struggles. However, how can I truly have the same edge when I don't believe in it? Before, I was truly seeing other women and I kept you guessing. Now, I am not.

I think the "ideal alpha male" we all talk about on here always keeps some sort of mystery and appeal even years down the road. You never know.. he could be seeing another on the side, and that intrigues you.

I've witnessed 2 successful marriages in my life. The first, they met very young and the man was definitely not an alpha. He became sort of the alpha of the marriage and she loved being the housewife. The second, the man was very very beta and soft spoken, and the woman a loud mouth.

Has anyone ever witnessed a successful marriage or long-term relationship with this "true"/"uber" alpha male?

I'm not sure if I've ever met a true/uber alpha male.

I've met guys that can get unlimited amounts of chicks, but then settle for a boring relationship with a hot girl where they learn to become a beta, and have all the normal shitty relationship problems and turn out to be in a 99th percentile shit marriage.

I've met guys that can get unlimited amounts of chicks, but then they are total assholes to their significant others, and the woman grows resentful.

I've never met the guy who is the seeming alpha, and then can transition to being fully confident and happy with himself when he gets down to marriage, and keep her completely intrigued past year 3, without being a backstabbing asshole.

Does my "edge", or my drive for life, need to transition from being on a quest to meet and hook up with beautiful women to being on a quest to fulfill an inner passion and accumulate wealth? The problem is, I've never really felt passionate about accumulating wealth or an instrument or hobby. I've only really felt passionate about acquiring affection from women. And now I only have one that holds the key, whereas an alpha, in many Red Pill definitions, drops the first woman that isn't showing affection for an extended period, and moves to the next. I can't do that in a relationship, whereas I do it when I am single.

[–]penguinv 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Try this .. stop the false advertising.

I mean this in the most kind way. You are the treasure of the The Rules girls.

I do understand you want commitment on both sides.. so good luck.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (14 children)

I very much appreciate the creation of this because I have a LOT of questions and was spouting them all over TRP, which I'm sure they didn't appreciate. Also I seriously appreciate you stating that we can overcome these things with free will. Being a christian, I am totally in agreement that humans are naturally pretty shitty but I also think we can work on ourselves. Reading the comments on TRP, they often make it sound like ALL women act such and such a way and NO woman is capable of acting any different than this base nature. But that is just simply ignorant.

Not sure if I should create a self post for my questions or just post them here as a comment...but I'm on break at work so I will do one or the other later!

[–]dman8000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They often make it sound like ALL women act such and such a way and NO woman is capable of acting any different than this base nature

Its because qualifying your statements makes discussion very wearisome. A big draw of the subreddit is you don't have to constantly say "women generally do X".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (10 children)

Create a new post! Someone else might have the same question. :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (9 children)

Ok I shall! But just wondering, do you know why my original post is being downvoted? I'm honestly not sure how else I could have phrased that...

[–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Don't worry about the downvotes. There is a small group of feminists that don't think you should have this conversation.

[–]MandaMoo 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Do people really have that much spare time and energy? Lordy i hope it's a downvote bot because if it's manual downvoting that's pathetic!!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]honilee 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    There are many different types of feminists; I think it's important to not paint them all with the same brush.

    [–]myusernameranoutofsp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It's like when skeptics go on naturopath/homeopath/made-up-garbage forums and try to show people why their little movement is not based in reality. In this case they might be just mad and downvoting, but if those downvoters are feminists, then that's probably the sentiment.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I for one found hilarious how they just downvote without even a single comment.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]SoftHarem 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Welcome ladies. Let's get this patriarchy renovation party started!

      [–]Ellista 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      What did you mean by "Men, being the less discriminating gender?" Are you actually saying men are less discriminating than women or am I reading this wrong?

      [–]SRSmachine 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      To me, it means that in this post sexual revolution era, men are discouraged to talk about their fetishes and told to keep their sexual preferences to themselves (unless it involves having sex with another man), while female sexuality is viewed as something wonderful and encouraged to be opened up to everyone.

      [–]AlwaysLateToThreads 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Sorry I'm late!

      As a heterosexual male I'm very bad at attracting men so I won't be of much help here. I do love the idea of a female friendly space because over at the TRP we seem to primarily focus on guys. I also believe it is harder for women to become redpilled than it is for men because our culture encourages women to have an attitude that's the exact opposite of a redpill woman. Then again it took me years to come around. Nevertheless this sub will probably do a much better job of redpilling women than our other sub.

      I'll be cheering you ladies on!

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Wonderful introduction. :)

      [–]margerym 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Very excited for this! Created a reddit account (finally) just for it. Now I just have to figure things out so I can start asking the mountain of questions I have.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Alright Subbed.

      If this is as well managed as TRP this is going to be a great place ti be.

      [–]MandaMoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Good god that's wonderful!

      [–]rplady 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Thanks for the intro asshole!

      Edit fixed!

      [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

      Sheesh! There, fixed!

      [–]SoftHarem 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Shit test...failed!

      [–]thecurioustask 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Very excited that this exists!

      [–]HumanSockPuppetEndorsed Contributor -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

      I will inform the moderators of /r/fPUA. Since taking their new direction, I think a collaboration between these two subreddits would be very beneficial indeed.

      [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

      I have a ton of respect for the ladies running /r/fpua, but I'm afraid that the sub may not be steering in a positive direction regarding useful and practical advice. There is a serious bent among the users there to highlight feel-good advice and downvote hard-to-hear advice.

      I invite the moderators to join our discussion, and they are actually very red pill themselves- at least one of which came straight from /r/theredpill !

      [–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I invite the moderators to join our discussion, and they are actually very red pill themselves

      Thank you RPS. I appreciate you creating the sub, and I understand the purpose of it. I agree with you that I'm not sure at this point how the two subs can collaborate seeing as our part of our purpose is to present the information in a way that women can accept. And your purpose is to present the information in a way that is 100% harsh and true. Us creating a vocal alliance would be a little like /r/seduction and /r/theredpill creating an alliance. I find that the most dialed in seduction users are the ones who end up finding their way to theredpill, and that theredpill users who are generous spend some of their time offering their wisdom to those in seduction. But they cannot admit to being connected to eachother, because that would mean seduction admiting it's postion was too harsh, and theredpill admiting it's potion was too soft. I imagine it will be the same for fPUA/redpillwomen.

      Anyway I have subscribed, and look forward to learning from RedPillWomen, and participating in the discussion where I can.

      [–]HumanSockPuppetEndorsed Contributor -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

      I'm afraid that the sub may not be steering in a positive direction regarding useful and practical advice. There is a serious bent among the users there to highlight feel-good advice and downvote hard-to-hear advice.

      Perhaps. I can have that discussion with Whisper and FleetingWish, both of whom I know in real life. They're close friends of mine, and they both read TRP regularly.

      But I would argue that, while the ostensible purpose of TRP is to reveal the truth of the human condition, it's real purpose is also to feel good. That is, to use empiricism and the scientific process to draw a measure of understanding over our biological impulsions so that we can steer our lives in the direction of satisfaction, rather than simply flailing around in the dark as we did when we were plugged in.

      I don't think TRP and fPUA are fundamentally different. Both use facts and avoid platitudes. The degree to which we must observe the feelings of an individual is really only predicated on how persuasive we wish to be. I think that's where the difference really lies. The audience.

      TRP is mainly for men. Since men are the ones getting the short stick these days, it's not uncommon for them to come to TRP already full of resentment. You know the sort - they're the ones who are obviously (and rightly) angry. They don't need to be awoken - the pain of defeat has awoken them already. All they need are facts to make the picture clear.

      Women are a different case. Women enjoy the cushion of society's protection. The pain they feel at being in unsatisfying relationships is a dull, constant pain with an uncertain source. It radiates outwards to the rest of the body, making it difficult to pinpoint the exact cause. And because women are ill-accustomed to self-examination and communicate in the language of emotions rather than facts, they're often lost on how to begin fixing their lives. It's difficult enough to convince a happy woman of something using facts alone, let alone a woman that is confused and suffering.

      Truth is a powerful tool. But to be most effective, it must be wielded with grace and not as a blunt instrument.

      That's just my take, though. I'll bring it up with Whisper and Wish next time I see them. Whisper and I were long-time veterans of /r/seduction, and we were both ecstatic to find TRP after the fall and exodus from seddit. You guys have been doing a great job keeping TRP active, orderly, and civil, and we will continue to contribute as long as we have fingers to type with.

      [–]BellatorCordis 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      This might be the wrong place to ask this, but what happened between TRP and Seddit? I used to go to Seddit a while back, but find myself more drawn to TRP these days. What was the falling out over?

      [–]HumanSockPuppetEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Seddit was supposed to be a haven where men could learn the skills that their father never taught them; the skills that fem-ciety shamed them for wanting to know.

      But the mods didn't want to turn anyone away, and they didn't stick to their original vision for the subreddit, so they were very relaxed about enforcing a culture that would promote success among its userbase.

      As the place gained popularity, it became the target of constant criticism and flooded with concern trolls trying to adjust the tone of the discourse. And because the men there are still green and accustomed to pleasing other people before themselves, they buckled to the pressure.

      Now, seduction is a subreddit full of pansy shits who crow happily about the virtue of women. They talk more about "self improvement" than about the principles of seduction. Just one more boy's club that surrendered to feminism's need to supervise everything that males do.

      [–]mowtangyde 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Alpha here. No. You need to get out more. The Internet is fine and all, but this shit ain't real.