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LIFESTYLENo more "no" July (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by KittenLoves_Endorsed Contributor

I remember reading a post, a long while ago, about a woman who had decided to stop saying no whenever her husband initiated sex, and how this ended up being a great decision for her.

June wasn't a great month for my boyfriend and I. He was stressed. We were fighting a lot. Things really could have been better. But by the end of the month, things seemed to be looking up, and I wanted to do something to make sure this upswing went above and beyond our usual good times.

So, I decided to try an experiment. For the whole month of July, I will not say no to anything my boyfriend wants us to do. Obviously, this is notwithstanding any kind of legitimately bad ideas, but I doubt he would suggest anything like that in the first place. Normally this, "never say no!" thing is only about sex, but I wanted to take things a step further (especially since it's very rare that I would decline sex, anyway :P) and see how it would turn out. I'm not sure if my boyfriend will notice my change in attitude (I'm not going to tell him about my experiment), but we'll see what happens by the end of the month! I've already started this week, but he hasn't done much by way of suggesting things, yet. However, he's on vacation starting this evening, so I expect that the suggestions will pick up soon.

I'll report back at the end of the month with my results. Wish me luck, and if anyone else wants to participate, I'd love to see what ends up happening for you too!


[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]40516andahalf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hows that working out for you

[–]Hammocknapping 17 points18 points  (4 children)

I have tried doing this before, and only lasted about a week and a half. My husband figured out that I was chiming in and giving my opionion less, and it bugged him to no end.

For me, being open and receptive to ideas and taking the time to consider each one was more helpful than just saying yes. If I want Chinese for supper, my husband wants to know. He has told me that many of his suggestions are guesses at what would make me happy (because I’m well behaved and deserve it :P), but he would prefer it if I just came out and said what I wanted.

[–]synthjw 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Well, if I’m understanding correctly, OP isn’t saying she’s not going to voice any opinions when they’re solicited, just that she’s going to say ‘yes’ when presented with an idea... I might try it out for July too!

[–]KittenLoves_Endorsed Contributor[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's exactly what I meant! Obviously if he's looking for input or suggestions about things, I'm not going to just say, "oh, do whatever you like!", because I think that would just annoy both of us.

But I know that when he suggests specific things for us to do ("How about we watch a movie tonight?" "What if we made sushi?") it's because it's something he wants, but doesn't want to force me into doing something if I really don't want to. Sometimes I'll say no because I'm just a bit "meh" about the idea, but often I find that I won't have a backup plan for once I've shot something down, so we'll end up floundering a bit, wondering what to do instead. BUT NO LONGER!

So far my quest to accept all ideas has only resulted in things that are too NSFW to mention here, but I do think we've been off to a good start so far. ( ;) ) I do hope you join in! I think it should end up being a pretty fun challenge.

[–]Hammocknapping 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you’ve read my response wrong. On OP’s terms, if her BF makes a suggestion (hey let’s go get Mexican) and OP really, really wants to get Chinese, she can’t say anything. She has to say yes to the suggestion and get Mexican. Is that the end of the world? No, but at least in our family we like to make decisions like this together.

For my husband at least, that got annoying fast. For him, a suggestion is just that, a suggestion and he wants to know my input and opinion. After a week and a half of just saying yes to all his suggestions, it was apparent what I was doing and he asked me to go back to just being me.