All captains are different and will have different expectations for handing children and discipline. This isn't meant as gospel, just a story of something that happened in my home.
My daughter brought a note home from school this week explaining that she was not being very nice to a classmate. This is the first time something like this has happened (for my middle child, at least) and my first instinct was to call my husband at work and cry, "Oh no, MiddleSnowGirl got in trouble at school. What ever will we do!?"
But then I had a second thought. What exactly was my husband going to do about it in this moment, that I couldn't do myself? He was in the middle of his work stresses and why should I pile on something that he couldn't immediately and directly act on? Certainly this issue could sit and wait until he got home. I would handle it in the moment and we'd talk about it when he got home.
So then he walked through the door in the evening. The kids run to him, and he puts away his keys and wallet and goes directly into his after work unwind. And I think, he's still shaking off all that work stuff. The school stuff can wait. We'll talk at dinner.
To be honest, I actually forgot about the whole issue until we were both in bed with the light out, and I certainly wasn't going to wake him up. And I realized that my daughter's misbehavior probably wasn't as big of a deal as it felt many hours before. She's a good kid who behaves well, and even good kids have a bad moment.
Now, the story isn't over. The same child got another note the next day. This is VERY unusual behavior and two days of disciplinary notes means it's time for the captain to get involved, at least in this household. Still, I decided that this wasn't a middle-of-the-day work call situation. She wasn't shanking kids on the playground or anything. It can still sit and wait until dinner.
I'm writing this because sometimes I know that I forget that, while my husband is my greatest resource, it's not necessary (or kind) to dump everything at his doorstep. Some stuff can't wait, but a lot of stuff can. And if you give it a little time, a lot of stuff doesn't have to be shared at all.