A Big Thank You (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by queenofbees

I want to express my thanks to RPW for reminding me of things I knew but had let go out of laziness, I suppose, and being so comfortable in my LTR. I've been making a point not get aggravated over small things and it's made a huge difference in my relationship and personal happiness.

As an example, the other day my DH was going to deliver a used sofa to a friend and then they were going to play disc golf. He left around 10am. As the afternoon wore away, I started to feel annoyed that he was gone so long. When he got home around 5 pm, rather than being peevish and questioning why he'd been gone so long I made a conscious decision to be sweet as I heard him come in. I asked how his day had been instead of complaining about being alone all day. The story came out that they'd had to repair the sofa, they played at a really long course and then he'd helped his friend get some lumber he needed for his new house, since the DH has a pickup. I got to hear all about his day while we went and did some shopping, which we've always enjoyed doing together. We had a nice evening together, rather than retreating to our own corners because I had picked a fight. He was extra affectionate and told me he felt bad that he'd been gone so long and that it was great to be home. That was quite a return for just being able to keep my mouth shut.

I could go on and on about how much better our marriage is in the past few weeks since I've been checking out this sub.

Just for the record, my DH has been on RP for quite a while and he was the one that suggested that I might like RPW. So glad I took his advice. It's been a real benefit to both of us.

Thanks again, Ladies.

[–]BronzeRat 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Yay :) it's nice to hear the success stories, in a sub that can be so full of people asking for help. I keep meaning to write an FR of how this sub has helped me over the past 15 months or so. Not only has it done wonders for an already decent relationship, it's really helped me become happy with myself as a woman and understand my sexuality and place in the world (which is what I was really looking for when I came here).

Well done for putting the effort in! It's one thing to read and agree that you should be sweet (or any other piece of advice), it's another thing entirely to actually put it into practice.

[–]Kittenkajira 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are so right! I hold back often, and 9/10 times realize in hindsight that it would have been pointless to say what I had been thinking. Either I was wrong, or he did whatever I was thinking anyway, or however he did it worked just fine.

Of course, I'm not perfect. Just yesterday morning the boss was cleaning up a pee spot in the carpet from the dog (we'd forgotten to uncover the doggie door). He wonders out loud if it would be worth getting one of those spot steam cleaners in addition to the floor steam cleaner we have. I basically said at least 4 different reasons why we didn't need it, then did a big ol' cringe after he left for work when I realized I'd totally shot down his idea, in pretty much the worst way possible.

[–]Sexwithcoconuts 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Just joined TRP recently. I hope I can start to see my marriage change for the better soon, like yours. I'm such a hot head and always complaining. I know my husband would love to see that change in me.

[–]Kittenkajira 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Complaining often just makes things worse, as I'm sure you've realized. I watched a "funny" video yesterday involving a man on a pier wearing goggles and fins. He starts walking around the pier, and the wife starts harping on him about safety. Saying things like "that's not safe honey" or "don't walk around in the fins, it's slippery", and generally talking to him like he's a child. Well, then he slips, and after he surfaces in the water she goes "WHAT DID I JUST SAY? I KNEW IT!"

I just looked over at my boyfriend, and we both agreed that if she hadn't been distracting him with her complaining, he wouldn't have been looking at her instead of his feet, and he probably wouldn't have slipped!

[–]laxing22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So many relationships would last sooooooo much longer for that simple reaction you had. We all NEED time away from each other and some time now and than with our friends. I actually miss my partner when I go and do other things. If I come home to nagging of what took so long, all those feelings I had of missing her are gone and I wish I was away again. Your response was perfect.