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RELATIONSHIPSThe First mate revels in the influence she has over the Captain. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by veryrealman

In many authority situations whether at the office, in the military or others, persons who are close to the top authority often revel in the influence that they have with the top person in power. This person often feels that he/she knows the person in power well enough with likes and dislikes that he/she knows how or when to bring up a decision to get it approved.

My theory is that women are somehow hardwired biologically to revel in their ability to influence the decision making of someone in power. It might be the person working at a store and there is some rule but the woman flashes her lovely eyes and smiles and the man gives in and makes an "exception" for her. How delighted and special she feels in that situation.

Even men enjoy this feeling. My favorite example was once when I arrived at a grocery store just 1 minute after closing time to get something for out little daughter and a women was there ahead of me but the employee cracked the door a bit to say sorry we're closed. But when she moved off and I walked up, I called him by name since I'm friendly and converse with all the employees. I apologized and explained that I need just one item for our daughter. He opened the door wide and said, "Mark, sure go get that for Megan".

In other words, I feel greatly rewarded and appreciated for my efforts to show kindness to him and the others that work there. And that employee felt like he was being a good friend to us.

I believe that emotional enjoyment of influencing decisions is a kind gentle power that women revel in even more than men and they have the built it charming face and body and voice to increase their ability to influence over men.

Some women (blue pill) feel that they need actual decision making power in a relationship on equal footing with the man. But that dynamic creates friction and strife much like 2 persons trying to both drive a car at the same time and disagreeing over the direction. That will end in a crash.

Instead if the First Mate concedes that the Captain makes the final decisions and steers the ship but when his desire conflicts with her own, she uses her charms and understanding of him to influence and even persuade him to decide in her favor, then she can achieve far greater joy and satisfaction than simply making the decision herself against his objections which leads to arguing and fighting.

My First Mate and I have achieve this kind of hard won bliss because she finally swallowed the red pill entirely and she discovered that the combination of her recognizing the captains authority and charming me into her way of thinking is EXTREMELY seductive and pleasurable dynamic for a man and woman to enjoy.

And so she rarely has any problem with me deciding against her and also she revels and delights in her feminine power of influence over my masculine will.

I encourage women everywhere to completely throw overboard the idea of "equality" in decision making and let the Captain feel he's in power but wield your sexy eyes and lovely voice to powerful effect in influencing his decisions. Men love, love, love, to be influenced this way. And women thrill in doing it.

This turns decision making into a fun activity rather than a vicious argument.


[–]ecossecho 31 points32 points  (1 child)

This is definitely true. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but more importantly, it makes everyone feel good about the situation.

I had a situation like this while I was in Scotland. I was taking a train alone from one city to another late on a Sunday night, when there weren't a lot of trains running, and I wasn't very familiar with the trains. I got on what I thought was the right one, but when the conductor came around to check tickets, he looked concerned and asked where I was going - it turned out I'd taken a train that went in the same general direction, but took a route which aimed a bit further south and didn't stop at the station where I needed to make my connection.

The connection was going to be the last train that night, so after a moment of panic I calmed down and asked what would be the best stop for me to get off at to find a hotel, did I owe anything on my ticket for taking the wrong route, thank you for letting me know, etc.

As it turned out there was only one other passenger on the train, who was getting off at the next stop. Once we'd dropped him off, the conductor radioed ahead and changed the route of the train, even asked a cargo train to take a detour so we could go through quicker, and then tapped me on the shoulder grinning to let me know we were at my stop. He said there was no way he was going to let a broke young college girl spend money staying in a strange place late at night on her own. I made my connection with five minutes to spare and got home safe. How wonderful is that?

Such a nice memory for me, and I could tell he was really pleased with himself for saving the damsel in distress. :)

Be nice and let them steer the train!

[–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it and also how that made you feel inside and that it sticks with you a long time.

I'll never forget the true story of the newly wed couple at the beach and they were attacked by a shark, the husband on pure instinct shoved her into the boat in time to save her but not in time to avoid getting eaten alive himself and he died.

Women, by being feminine can tap into that protective instinct in men to get their way most of the time when they make it clear that they trust and respect the Captain to decide.

I remember a disagreement with a young female friend that was visiting my wife and I. I wanted to play a board game and she didn't--saying it was too stressful. I kept trying talk her into it and kept resisting but finally she said, "If you really insist then we can play the game."

Suddenly, I was shouldered with the responsibility to decide and replied, "well let's forget it since I don't want to cause you any stress." And she beamed the MOST beautiful smile.

That is the same instinct which overcame those men on your train to save the damsel and protect you since they felt responsible for their decisions in that situation.

Yes. it's truly beautiful dynamic between man and woman when the First Mate expresses her trust in the Captain with making the decisions.

[–]veryrealman[S] 13 points14 points  (25 children)

I want to add a true story about a friend. She was engaged to marry a guy who flaked on her when she informed him she was pregnant. He left back to his home town. And didn't take her phone calls or respond to her texts except once a week or so. And even then he was quick to get off the phone.

She begged me for any ideas what to do. I told her to simply text him saying "I respect you." and watch what happens.

The next morning she told me that he called her 8 times but she didn't answer until getting my advice what to do next.

i told her he will ask first thing is "why do you respect me?" Be prepared to give a logical reason, a compliment. Then tell him you respect him so much that it doesn't matter what he did or why he left and then listen.

She did exactly that and he opened up and admitted about severe abuse by his father and he was terrified to become a father but loved her with all his heart and her other child and the baby to be but was certain he will horrifying father like his dad.

My point so far in the story is that respect and power is very seductive to men. Take it away from them and watch the aggravation and anger soar.

Well they really talked and then she filled me in.

I convinced of the power of offering obedience to a man in marriage. And that she should make sure that's in her vows and how she can still have power too by knowing how to influence his decisions. She agreed.

They wedding was set for 8 months in the future. She told him that she was committed to obeying him completely starting at the wedding date due to her respect.

He said, "Wow. Really?" She assured him it was true. I know men and I know that a pretty girl like her saying that made him passionate with desire. He immediately asked her if they could move the wedding date sooner only 1 month away. But after discussing decided on 2 months.

Ladies and girls, obedience is like opium to men. It's a sexual, emotional and very powerful high to get from a woman that he wants.

It's puts lot of power in your hands to make your man glued to you like white on rice. It's the stuff that makes men not only want but NEED to commit to you since that makes you a delicious and very rare woman.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Why would anyone respect a man who cut and run then cut off communications with the woman he just knocked up? She can say what she wants, she doesnt and never will respect him after that. It makes a nice story but it's not real. Halfway thru this marriage it'll fail and she'll lament why she ever boned this idiot in the first place.

[–]veryrealman[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

That's true in most cases. But her her case he was such a wonderful guy before he split. They lived together and had fun and her little girl loved him like a Dad.

she simply didn't understand why he split. I had a pretty good idea myself since he split immediately after she said she was pregnant with his child.

To answer your concern about how that marriage could work out, I told her that he needs therapy before he can handle being a father. And she got him to speak with me. I share with him about how I healed from abuse also and he told her and me both that he'll get therapy and work on himself.

She wanted to support him because he is the father of her baby. Perhaps if she wasn't carrying his baby she will ditch him. But she told me she was thinking of her baby getting older and asking about his/her father.

As a woman she was desperate for her kids to have a father and she remembered how good he was before his fright of being a father himself.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 6 points7 points  (5 children)

He's damaged goods who if he would split at the conception from the woman he loved so dearly, imagine how his mid life crisis will go. I disagree. RP harps on some women being damaged goods and it cuts both ways. Some men are simply damaged goods you don't marry or breed with....no matter how nice they are.

[–]ElfFey 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Did you read a bit further down in the thread? He says the guy committed suicide after the baby was born. This story doesn't add up.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This just gets weirder by the post I swear.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU. Dear god what is happening in this thread?! I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Let me get this straight.

Weird point 1: OP is here to tell us the story of a man who abandons the woman carrying his child. Not sure how this isn't an INSANELY clear dealbreaker by RPW standards.

Weird point 2: The night after holding his newborn child, this man tragically kills himself!

Weird point 3: OP then tells us he fantasized sexually about the man's widow.

Somehow this all adds up to a tender, touching story with a happy ending?! How is this positively demonstrating the virtue of wifely obedience? This is like if I posted that baking pies for your man was a good way to show your love, then later clarified in the comments that I forgot my BF was allergic to blueberries and he actually died after eating my pie.

Also, I'm getting severe basement-kidnapper vibes

[–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sad but true.

[–]Docbear64 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Awesome story and very true . I remember in the past when an LTR lost her love to me she also lost respect for me and I don't know in that moment what hurt more . That She know longer fawned over me as her partner or if to her I all of a sudden just became like any other ordinary man .

There's a lot of women out there but a woman who believes and trusts in you can be the motivation for a man to take control and get shit done because when a person trusts and believes in you how can you afford to let her down ?

[–]veryrealman[S] 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Oh my god that is very well said. You remind me that women in an LTR normally say, "You have to earn my respect".

But if we're already in a LTR, what if I tell her, "You have to earn my love?"

What if I say my love for her is conditional on whether dinner tastes good or if I like her dress.

what if I was always saying, "How can I love you when you take so long to get dressed?"

Love should not be dependent on a lot petty little conditions.

The same is true of respect. A women must show a man respect until he does something very serious deserving to lose it like sexual betrayal.

Otherwise, he deserves respect if nothing else but for being a faithful loyal man. If on top of that he avoids drugs and crime and alcoholism then he desires ENORMOUS respect.

Ignore the little stuff like leaving socks out. It's cruel to withdraw respect for petty such things.

[–]veryrealman[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

But men, let's grow up and clean up after ourselves too. That does make it easier for most women to feel respect that we're an adult.

[–]veryrealman[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

By the way, I told all those things to that girl in that story above to convince her to say "I respect you" in her text message. Because she was like, "how can I respect him when he flaked on me, etc." but when she tried she found great reasons to respect him. She said he was really good with her daughter and she loved him like a father. She felt he will be amazing father to his own child.

It's not hard if women compare their man to other men or to what it's like to single trying to find a good man that they have good reasons to respect their Captain in spite of his flaws.

[–]Docbear64 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Right respect shouldn't require perfection just like I don't believe love should require perfection. There was an AMA yesterday when a 102 year old woman was asked what she missed the most about her husband who had passed about 50 years ago .

She listed a bunch of intimate idiosyncracies about him , waking up to his humming or whistling , the way he said her name when he was exasperated with her , a bunch of small things and I think generally culturally we've moved away from appreciating and loving our partners for those imperfections and how those imperfections make our life together " ours" .

You can have a thousand women but can any other woman look at you the way your wife does? Can another man hold you tight and make you feel safe like your husband does ?

I think love in it's truest form isn't comparing what you have with your spouse or SO to someone elses but truly appreciating and embracing what that melded , merged , existence that is your existence together .

Alright enough waxing poetic .

[–]Willow-girl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think love in it's truest form isn't comparing what you have with your spouse or SO to someone elses but truly appreciating and embracing what that melded , merged , existence that is your existence together .

Well said!

[–]veryrealman[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes. Thanks for your patience. I'm learning reddit and just figured out how to make sure that I don't miss posts.

Thank you for sharing such tender emotions. It's really beautiful and very well said.

My wife and I are working on some good advice to give each other 4 compliments minimum per day. It takes some practice but it's really delicious fun.

Now that she's in love, she eagerly agrees when I ask her for compliments during sex. Mmmm that's the best!

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is getting really weird....

[–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. There are lots of different kind of people and belief. All of us are weird in some way, I think.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]veryrealman[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You're welcome sweetie pie. :)

    [–]AdreamaSeize 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this. This is a great read and such an example.

    [–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    I agree with the premise of this & the overall message, but I think that in all cases where a man abandons his fiancee upon realizing she's pregnant, a very, VERY tiny percent of those cases involves a man who has been horribly abused who can fairly quickly, without extensive therapy, overcome this abuse and become a mentally stable responsible Captain whose wife's obedience isn't going to feed into his issues.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    You are right. I left the sad part of the story out. He was fine until a the baby was born. He was there in the hospital for the delivery and held the baby. Later that night, neighbors complained to the police for the noise in his hotel room. And they found him dead--suicide.

    Yes. You are right. But the moral of the story is that respect and obedience are the elixir to open up and man's heart. His very rapid reaction to her text saying "I respect you". And his urgency to move up the wedding date was all due to her submissive attitude.

    Ladies you cannot begin to understand how HOT and desirable a woman is who truly learns the art of being submissive and respectful to a man. And she can even have more than equal influence over his decisions. Why? Men tend to go to great ends to protect and treat "women and children" well -- unless hes's a monster.

    [–]GeorgeKarlin 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    "Ladies you cannot begin to understand how HOT and desirable a woman is who truly learns the art of being submissive and respectful to a man"

    So true,

    I didn't realise that until reading this. Thank you.

    Too bad for the dude. I hope the lady with the baby is ok.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Well, his mom begged her to plan the funeral. She did so which was hard on her. And during that time the father of her daughter visited to see his daughter. Then she used her new skills of respect to seduce him. At some point during that time she decided I will be a better father for her kids and worked on seducing me with professed obedience and will do anything I want. I stupidly fantasized with her on this. She was a hot hispanic girl. Very tempting to meet her but I was sharing detail with with my wife due to my new "no secrets" policy. And she talked me out of it--thank God. So I backed away from her. Last I heard, she and her daughter's father were back together after she professed respect and obedience to him after marriage.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I used to fantasize about that girl often until my wife really got the hang of being sexy that way. Now that she is getting increasingly committed to "total" obedience (with huge influence on me, of course) I find myself every day fantasizing about my own wife!!!

    It seemed weird when it first started happening, to wake up with hot erotic thoughts about my own wife.

    But yikes, I cannot get her out of my head now. And it seems other women that I notice just don't "measure up" somehow and don't turn me on much.

    Women, do you want your man to only fantasize about you and feel bored with other women? Swear you'll do anything, ANY thing he wants, any time and any where. Then watch him DROOL. Saying such things and then proving you're serious (remember it's fine to share your feelings about disliking or being uncomfortable about stuff but assure him he decides) will make him so intoxicated with you it will bring you romantic fantasies about men to life. Yes, you fantasize about a man wanting you so badly he cannot control himself anymore.

    Well these is never any aphrodisiac to men as strong as professing obedience and showing you understand how to do that and also maintain healthy influence.

    It's the truth. Of course. That sounds like slavery but here is no man in his right mind unless he's a monster who will treat such an amazing woman as a slave. He will greatly cherish her, protect her, and be determined to PLEASE her as much as he can.

    But when you do that it and convince him it will unleash the real manly man inside his heart who will be assertive and share his desires and fantasies with you. Of course, what woman doesn't want this--deep in her heart--to know all his erotic secret desires about you?

    [–]pizzae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    The thought of being mesmerised/seduced and doing the bidding of a worthy girl is irresistible imo. Though a man may have overt power in the relationship, the women has covert power. The man dominates/seduces/influences his girl physically, and the girl dominates/seduces/influences her man metaphysically. So there's this yin and yang, harmonic dynamic going around, and this is what causes sustainability and harmony within relationships.
    It's a dance between two opposite forces. Most of the time this dance doesn't work out (98% of relationships imo), where two people might be both domineering physically (most relationships these days where both parties try to wear the pants), or both domineering metaphysically. There may be some who are reluctant to "let go" as well, blocking part of the natural process.

    [–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (10 children)

    There's actually a phrase in my home country that literally translates to "act coquettish, like a spoiled child" and many of the girls use it to get what they want (usually small things like wanting him to take you out or begging for a kiss or just some attention).

    I do it to my father and my boyfriend and it's just a cuter way of acting rather than being overly polite and/or monotonous. My boyfriend loves it and he knows I'm being a bit sassy and playful on purpose.

    [–]veryrealman[S] -2 points-1 points  (9 children)

    That was so sweet to explain how you influence. And even though I don't know you, just imagining any women behaving in such a way turned me on both emotionally and erotically. It's really heavenly when a woman acts in a way that she recognizes the man's authority but does her level best with feminine charm to change his mind. Mmmmm. That makes him want SO much to reward her by changing his mind so that she get encouraged to behave that way AGAIN in future!!

    Personally, I like coquettish and sweet talking. I dislike whining and complaining. To train my wife and daughter to never do that, whenever either did that I simple walked away or tuned out explained gently why.

    So they learned to hug me or kiss me or get excited or other such sweetness to convince me to go with them or give them attention, etc.

    [–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (8 children)

    Yes, that's exactly how I treat my boyfriend - lots of kisses and being sweet, and it's sooooooo sexy to me when I see my boyfriend putting out even more authority because of it. A lot of it transfers to the bedroom for us. It's a perfect dynamic and I'm very fortunate to meet someone like him. I require a man to accept this kind of behavior for my relationship to be successful, and I remember a lot of BP men I dated thought it was strange I would act this way. They wanted a woman who was more prissy polite and high and mighty. But I love being cute to men, it's my favorite!

    I dislike whining and complaining. To train my wife and daughter to never do that, whenever either did that I simple walked away or tuned out explained gently why.

    Funny enough, my boyfriend does the same thing. I don't whine so much but AWALT and when it happens, he doesn't take my shit and I'm glad he doesn't!

    [–]radioactivities9 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I remember a lot of BP men I dated thought it was strange I would act this way. They wanted a woman who was more prissy polite and high and mighty.

    Yeah, I noticed that too. Those dudes think a woman has a low self-esteem for treating a man well and being deferential at times. They are all dying for a woman to make it easy to prove their 'worth' as men. Because if a woman acts 'hard to get' or 'hard to please' then the man doesn't have to offer worth psychologically.

    [–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I feel like it takes a very dominant and masculine man to lead the way. If you notice, in couples that have the women wearing the pants, the man doesn't have to do much - just follow along and provide for her. But with very feminine or submissive women, the man actually has to step up and take initiative.

    So when feminists say that men want submissive women to make them feel better, I don't believe that - it takes MORE work to be with a submissive woman. It's more tiring for the man. It's much easier to be with a dominant woman.

    [–]veryrealman[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children)

    Very lovely post. Thank you so much for sharing. It's really enjoyable, as a man, to read such feelings from a woman. Keep it up!

    And forgive me, what is AWALT?

    [–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    All Women Are Like This/That. That there's no such thing as a perfect woman, because we all have inherent female nature, including entitlement (which comes with complaining or whining).

    [–]veryrealman[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Hey as long as we're being self-deprecating. There's no perfect men either! But I do find it fascinating that there are some core emotional instincts in men and women that when understood can make relationships way, WAY more enjoyable.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    In a different post you claimed to have familiarity with "Saving a Low Sex Marriage" and being familiar with dread levels, but have never heard of "AWALT"?

    AWALT is a defense mechanism used by men to thwart female emotional manipulation tactics. This is standard fare.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    AWALT = "All Women Are Like That". Yes. I understand AWALT and used that but simply didn't recognize the acronym.

    Honestly though I was never close to any women, no sister, not any kind of relationship with my mother, so I didn't catch on to "All Women Are Like That" until I became closer friends with a number of different women. Then my eyes were opened to understanding "AWALT".

    I don't claim to be any expert on saving low sex marriage. I'm only rejoicing and wanting to shout from the roof tops in my joy that using TRP knowledge I was able to save my marriage.

    And hey, I might have done it wrong or not the best way. But it worked and I would NEVER had the courage to do so without understanding better how the female sexual desire works from TRP information.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So you should view all my information more like a "testimonial" to TRP and an attempt to "give back" to the community to give otherd courage or benefit from my experiences.

    It does give me perhaps misplaced confidence in my understand since I had success. I can see now that some things that I did either weren't necessary or unwise. I'm just happy that after trying my best, it finally worked!

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes obedience in marriage seems strange in the modern world. But "strangely" it works if the Captian isn't a tyrant but is kind and loving. In fact this reddit for red pill women advocates this but says it very gently as Captain and First Mate.

    But think about the authority of the Captain of a ship that is out to sea. The captain can remove the authority of anyone else, he can also order anyone on the ship locked up. He can refuse to accept any cargo and expel someone from the ship at port.

    Most modern women struggle with the idea of obeying their husbands or flatly refuse. The very word "obey" sound horrible to modern ears. I'm sorry about this.

    But if you want to swallow the red pill and really enjoy having a man deeply attached to you beyond anything you ever imagined, then offer him obedience and watch how emotionally and erotically this bonds him to you. And notice how much influence this gives you over him in most cases due to his emotional and sexual passion for you.

    [–]Willow-girl 2 points3 points  (20 children)

    Some women (blue pill) feel that they need actual decision making power in a relationship on equal footing with the man. But that dynamic creates friction and strife much like 2 persons trying to both drive a car at the same time and disagreeing over the direction. That will end in a crash.

    "Disagreeing over the direction" are the key words there, I think. My man and I are generally on the same page, and when we're not, it's usually over minor things that don't really matter, so who cares? We sorta roll with the punches here, hashing out things as they come up.

    I think it helps if neither person has their ego invested in their decision being right simply because it's THEIR decision! If your (generic "your") ego is so fragile that you can't take criticism or accept that your spouse may have a better idea, hmm, maybe relationships are not for you, lol.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 3 points4 points  (19 children)

    Well please don't be annoyed at my impression that you are still a little bit thinking blue pill. Why? It's because I certainly do not want my First Mate to be some robot that does what I want without question. On the contrary, she is incredibly intelligent and I revel very much in consulting her especially in her areas of expertise.

    For example, any time that I want to invite someone over, I first tell her that I'm thinking of it and who I want to invite. And I know her and that she needs time to mull it over and then she always returns with details that I never considered. Then we are able to make a great decision as a team.

    Yes. most of the time we cooperate and agree on the decision.

    Examples will help. There is something which I wanted her to wear sometimes but she is very shy as it will draw attention to her which she's not very comfortable with. I understand her feelings but I want to help her overcome them because that attention will be very enjoyable for me. So we are at odds over this but she is coming around. I haven't insisted she do it before she is ready emotionally though. She even agreed to wear it recently and I told her to wait, let's discuss it more because I know she isn't ready yet.

    Ask my wife and she will assure you that I'm a very reasonable and understanding Captain.

    However, occasionally she made a very important decision without consulting me first. And that is aggravating. I think women also feel aggravated when the Captain makes an important decision without even consulting her.

    Recently she made a health care decision about her health deliberately behind my back. I think that's what prompted my emotions to discuss this subject online.

    But when I found out and examined the situation, I showed her that she chose an option which has zero beneficial effect on her condition. And I knew that she deliberately did it behind my back because she still has difficulty letting go of the egalitarian idea that she can make decisions without me. She has recognized that I'm right and apologized and promised to consult me in the future. We're going to see a doctor to get this straightened out.

    NOTE: Her first language isn't English so she sometimes misunderstands or misreads information and makes mistakes in this country. Furthermore, she has strong fear of certain medical things due to trauma in the past, so it is absolutely essential for her let me make decisions in this area. Her health is of paramount importance to me.

    If I had a different wife that was native to English or if we lived in France where it was her language and wasn't so traumatized, then I might let her make those decisions on her own.

    I feel that I'm being very protective and responsible. Am I wrong?

    [–]Willow-girl 5 points6 points  (18 children)

    Hey, if what you're doing works for you and your wife, I'm not one to argue with success!

    Generally speaking, I'm a little mystified though by the suggestion that a couple who has knock-down-drag-out fights over routine things can solve the problem by allowing the person with the penis to make all the decisions. That just sounds a little unrealistic to me ... YMMV.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 2 points3 points  (12 children)

    Well here's a little secret about men that most women don't understand. Any time that a woman who is attractive to a man says anything like "I trust you to decide" or "I'll do anything you want". This has a very different effect on men that it does on women. For men? It's very arousing. It's a huge sexual pleasure. Any time my wife tells me that it turns me on!

    Ever heard the expression, "He was thinking with his other head?" or "he was thinking with his penis?"

    That's where letting the one with the penis make decisions is a win for the woman. Tell him you trust him to make all the decisions, then bat your eyes and grin and say, "please do it my way?" And watch his poor little penis make him do what you want in 90% of the time. When he doesn't, it's because he has a really big important reason because you women know that men have difficult time resisting the desires of their penis.

    You might think guys will shoot me for saying how easy to manipulate we are. But men will never shoot me for telling you this secrets because when a woman manipulates a man sexually by giving him the power, he enjoys it immensely. It's extremely intoxicating to a man.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

    I want to add that this is largely how men get seduced by a different women and cheat on their wives by a clever woman offering to do whatever he wants. It's all about giving power. That's primarily why men visit prostitutes. If he pays her enough money then she will do whatever he wants, however ridiculous it might seem to his SO, and he gets to be king for the evening.

    Think about it. Men kill for power.

    Give him all the power and watch him eat out of your hands. ha ha

    [–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    I guess I just don't understand what all of these couples are fighting about. Whether to buy the store brand of green beans or DelMonte? I just don't know. We seem to roll along here without a lot of conflict. It's not like someone needs to be designated the Official Decision Maker ... we just deal with stuff as it crops up. We are a lot alike though, so if he chooses something, likely it's the same option I would have picked, and vice versa. Maybe it's more difficult for couples who are more diverse ... like if one wanted to go wilderness camping but the other wanted to go on a cruise, lol.

    I dunno. This is one of those things I just can't wrap my brain around.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    Well even if you tend to agree a lot, telling him you trust home to make the decisions and consider your opinion will melt his heart so much and make you very sexy in his mind.

    [–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Make the decisions on ... what? Does your wife really call to ask whether she should buy the generic or the expensive name brand? Because those are the kind of decisions I make in everyday life. (Well, that and which stock to buy, LOL.) If I consulted my man, especially over ever little thing, he'd think I had lost my mind ...

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    Very true. I don't want my wife asking me about "every little thing".

    But how often do you remind him that he's in charge? That he is the Captain? Of course, if he's RP kind of guy then he knows it and stands up for himself as Captain (like I do and teach my wife -- gently- the importance of respect). But if not, then your man will LOVE it more than anything else you could ever do to remind him that he's in charge. And anything he wants you to do you will do.

    Women are afraid to say I'll "anything". I'm going to make a separate post about how to deal with this.

    [–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Well, he is the man here! And we all treat him as such ... I don't know what to say other than that. Poor guy has three women to keep happy ... no, we're not Mormons, but two female relatives live next door. So he is surrounded by adoring women who are constantly needing him to fix stuff, LOL. He's pretty Alpha though so it's not a problem. :-)

    [–]radioactivities9 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    That's what my bf keeps telling me; 'you're intoxicating' and 'I'm completely intoxicated by you'

    Now I know more of why. Lovin' it.

    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    You go girl! And that makes you feel powerful too, doesn't it? Tee hee. Girl power is still power.

    [–]Nyquil-Junkie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    A real man that types "tee hee"? wtf?

    [–]radioactivities9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes! It's amazing. I recommend it - especially to women who hate planning and only respect their man if he (primarily) takes lead.

    What a lucky and wonderful life if I don't have to plan much or make needless decisions. Definitely worth putting in the charm and effort for! My man can just take those burdens and dissolve it in testosterone or whatever it is you menfolk do.

    And I'm definitely no shrinking violet or submissive personality. Misconceptions, away!

    [–]anothdae 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    I'm a little mystified though by the suggestion that a couple who has knock-down-drag-out fights over routine things can solve the problem by allowing the person with the penis to make all the decisions. That just sounds a little unrealistic to me ... YMMV.

    I mean... if you want to be a captain... be one. Don't marry one.

    The reality is that the person with the penis is biologically driven to make decisions and lead others.

    Of course this isn't the "make all the decisions" as you imply... but the reality is that the captain of the ship does make the decisions. If you don't respect those decisions... get off the ship.

    The hardest red pill to swallow for a lot of women is that you are deferring power to your husband. The biggest secret is that that is okay. There is a lot of freedom in not having to worry about some things.

    [–]Willow-girl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Hmm, I don't worry about a lot of things, because they're the stuff my man takes care of in everyday life (keeping the trucks in good running condition, hauling hay, letting the dogs out 17 times a day, cleaning the cat box, lol). There is stuff my man doesn't have to worry about because they're the things I handle (dishes, laundry, mowing the lawn, investing). We have worked out a pretty good system in which we each handle certain chores except in emergencies, like when one of us is sick, then the other will pinch-hit for awhile.

    In a relationship between two functioning adults, why does anyone have to be "in charge"? I just find that silly and don't really see a need for it. "Power"? What "power"? The power to decide who makes the coffee in the morning? Pfft. Just find a reasonable person with whom you're compatible and hash things out as you go along. That's my best advice!

    [–]Nyquil-Junkie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Some men are easily intoxicated by the lure of any sort of power. I've always seen that as a flaw. If all it takes for you to feel special and intoxicated is for a woman to say "you're in charge" than thats a little sad. You guys make life way to complicated.

    [–]veryrealman[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Very well said! And yes, I didn't mean to even imply that I want to make all the decisions. But We're clear about decisions that need to be made as a team which means I have final say.

    But I assure you that our opinions aren't equal because my wife is hot and sexy and gets my penis thinking in her favor most os f the time. How? she recognizes my authority so she doesn't argue. When she cannot convince me using logic, she pleads with that cute little face which is often effective. Pleading is very feminine and so.

    Ever seen those movies where one person is determined in a way and the other starts making a sad face. And the other says, "No not the face!!"

    Girls learn how to make faces like that which pull his heartstrings...but make it clear that it's totally his decision.

    That is SOOO enjoyable to a man and my wife has shown that is super enjoyable to a woman too to feel her power to influence.

    That makes her feel cherished and beautiful and attractive and like she has my wrapped around her finger.

    [–]Nyquil-Junkie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh jesus christ.... lol

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    [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Thank you for your support. There are some "blue pill" people here who make me feel sad. You made my day. I hope you're enjoying the blessing of red pill knowledge about men.

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          [–]JaneeCathartica 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Keep posting! !!

          [–]veryrealman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          That is so kind of you to say. I was a bit discouraged by one woman who seems negative about these ideas. I'm very encouraged that there are women who "get it".