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The Rational Parent (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by StingrayVC

I've seen quite a few people ask about parenting in a Red Pill way. Roll Tomassi has a good post up today about this.

There is this idea today that children must come first for wives (and husbands) and that everything else must come second. This is a detriment to a marriage and to kids. Children thrive in an environment where the importance of the marriage comes first and where mom respects and supports her husband in his role and the husband supports his wife in hers.

Edited to add a little story my Husband told me that reminds me of this a great deal:

When a man and a women marry, they begin the marriage by joining hands. In many marriages today, when a child comes along, the husband and wife will break their circle by letting the child join in it. Then another child comes and joins in the circle as well and so on and so forth.

As the children grow and leave the home, they leave the circle broken. It is not so easy for the husband and wife to simply join hands again. It was a mistake for them to ever let go. Instead, the man and wife never let go of one another. Rather, when children come, they are put inside the circle the man and wife have created together. A circle that is never broken.


[–][deleted]  (4 children)

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[–]BeneGezzWitch 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I've skimmed it, and it's just so rational and calm. I love how they approach food, and discipline too.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]BeneGezzWitch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    So much of what they described was how I was raised, by hippies no less, so what is our generations excuse?!

    I once had to ask a mom friend to stop baby talking to my child as it made my friend unintelligible and was visibly confusing my kid.

    The item that stuck out to me was when a French mom said (paraphrasing here) "it's not disciplining, it's educating. If the child doesn't learn what's appropriate, adults will dislike them and other children won't understand their behavior." It's so completely true. People complement my child for being polite at 2. While being sweet is in her nature, she doesn't know there is another way to be. It's constant work though!

    [–]SoonToBeMrsHim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Great suggestion, Kitch! I will add it to my goodreads. :)

    [–]RPDameendorsed woman 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    Yes, the "parenting as religion" aspect of modern society has been troubling me for quite a long time, even before discovering the red pill.

    It seems as soon as kids are brought into the equation, women use the children as a way to control the household and to stop doing anything they don't want to do. Mothers expect to be treated at as if popping out a child bestows upon them a special wisdom that the rest of society - men and childless women - could not possibly ever know. Fathers are treated as selfish jokes. And that family that the woman put together so she could have children, the family she told her husband she's always treasure, is treated as disposable. As long as the man is a figurehead who does what she wants and doesn't do what she doesn't want, she'll keep him around. She'll joke with her friends about his incompetence. She'll take his money because he owes it to her, the mother. The moment he tries to stick up for himself, or, worse, enters into a deep depression due to his situation, she'll get rid of him. All of a sudden, all of that "I want a strong family for the kids" doesn't seem to be prioritized anymore, and thus her selfish motivations are revealed to the rest of us.

    And don't get me started on the special snowflakes these women produce. My man and I were enjoying a nice time sitting in the sunshine by the water yesterday. All of a sudden a loose dog comes bounding out of the woods, followed by three children. Eventually, the parents. The dog and two of the three children came over into our space and were obnoxious, and Mrs. Snowflake deigned cast a glance over her royal shoulder to ensure her preciouses weren't being molested by strangers. But god forbid she teach the heathens manners, or even apologize herself on their behalf. No, we were gazing upon the exalted mother with her snowflakes, and we should know that the rules no longer apply to her. She has reproduced and we all must suffer for it.

    I really dislike this modern attitude of parenthood. People have been doing this for thousands upon thousands of years, but you'd think the parenthood religion invented reproduction. And we all must worship their snowflakes as they do, and give everyone a trophy. And then mom with her sassy haircut will go home, berate her husband into submission, and wonder why she hates every moment of her life. And she'll have herself to thank for that.

    [–]cxj 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    One of the best comments I've ever read on here, A+

    [–]RPDameendorsed woman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Thank you!

    It's something that came to my attention watching the entitled attitude of ex-wives and the unlucky souls who have to co-parent with them. Then I started to notice that the entitled attitude began as soon as the woman considered the man trapped with her - either the wedding or having the first child. She stops trying, and thinks that she's entitled to all the perks of marriage while making zero effort to making the marriage a happy one. And she justifies it all as her absolute devotion to the children. ... You know, the children whose family she is busy systematically destroying? Clearly, it's all selfless and for the kids. /s

    [–]cxj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What you just described is my big fear and what ive observed over and over in marriages of people i know.

    [–]SoonToBeMrsHim 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    51% Wife, 49% Mother.

    I guess that doesn't leave much for self - but the saying makes it's point. You are a wife first, and then a mother.

    [–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I saw a similar article that really resonated with me. I don't have children yet, so I don't have a lot to add from experience, but thank you for posting this! Definitely the kind of parent I want to be.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I read the circle that's alluded to in /u/StingrayVC's post as boundaries. You don't want to set a child at your boundaries, nor do you want to make your boundaries fluid. They should be strict and whole, and the child should be kept well inside them.