There was a recent post here that talked about spotting "male losers" along the lines of vetting men. In that post, one topic that was brought up was that there's just not much content in RPW right now about the actual vetting of men, which is one of the most important parts of RPW as a practical approach to long-term happiness. I have about half an hour to kill, and I've been involved with the RP community for years (back before any of the RP subs were around), so I figured I would throw something together for the sake of discussion, if nothing else. I've also sent several women here in the past (mostly before the RPW/RPWi split) after giving them this same framework to work within, more or less, so I figured I'd throw it out here so I can at least just link people to it in the future.
The Key Concepts
- In RP parlance, alpha refers to the male behaviors that operate on the spectrum of attraction, and beta refers to the male behaviors that operate on the spectrum of comfort.
- Dating is a game where men want to get sex from a woman and women want to get commitment from a man. The higher quality the target, the better the rewards.
- Being consciously aware of alpha and beta tells can give you a big leg up in vetting men.
Different women don't necessarily want the same exact things out of a man in the long run, but there are some common things that virtually all women either do want or should want from a man for the sake of maximizing the chances of a happy, successful, long-term relationship. One framework for thinking about all of this, at risk of sounding like a dudebro, is looking at a combination of how alpha and how beta he is in general. Being just a little conscious of what you're looking at with these characteristics can really simplify a lot of the confusion that some people have with the vetting process.
Red Flags and Green Flags
What I want to introduce here is the idea of alpha and beta versions of red flags and green flags. A red flag is something that's a warning sign that a guy might not be a good choice, and a green flag is an indicator that he might certainly be a good choice. These can fall into alpha (attraction, masculinity, dominating his environment, etc.) and beta (comfort, financial stability, importance of family, commitment) categories.
It's also worth pointing out that some red flags don't really need the alpha or beta descriptor because they're so nuclear that they should blow the guy out of having a snowball's chance in the first place. I'm not going to bother with trying to classify those because it's asinine.
Before I get into specific examples, I want to point out that one red flag doesn't necessarily mean that a man is a bad choice, and one green flag doesn't necessariliy mean he's a great choice. However, if you're stacking up a few red flags, you'd better have some pretty incredible green flags to go with it if you want a chance at a long-term, successful and happy relationship with the guy.
I'm going to rattle off some specific examples here. Feel free to comment with your own examples, discussion of my own examples (even if you disagree) and/or compile a big master list somewhere. I'm really just including a few examples for the sake of completeness in introducing this framework since it's seemed to work well for the women I've talked with about it.
Alpha Red Flags:
- Regularly flirts with other women in front of you.
- Makes it clear that he doesn't care about your feelings.
Alpha Green Flags:
- Takes care of his appearance and looks attractive and presentable.
- Has his "own life" with hobbies, things he does for himself, etc.
Beta Red Flags:
Beta Green Flags:
- Financially secure and responsible.
- Treats people well in general (without overdoing it to the point of supplication).
The Alpha/Beta Mix
The ideal mate for a RPW is going to be a guy who has a relatively balanced mix of alpha and beta. If he's got too much alpha and not enough beta, that means he's just going to want to hit it and send you on your way. If he's got too much beta and not enough alpha, then he's going to be so unattractive that it's going to feel like someone just dropped a dog turd in your lap when he tries to hold your hand. What this basically means is that you need to make sure you're dealing with a guy who has green flags for both alpha and beta, and not just a lack of red flags.
Anyway, I think that's a pretty decent red pill beginning framework for RPW to work within when it comes to evaluating potential mates. Feel free to make this your own or downvote it into oblivion.