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FIELD REPORTI'm so happy! (short life update) (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by NewMindRedPill1 Star

I can't express how happy I was this morning. I feel like this group would be the only ones to understand. My bf spent the night last night (we spend many nights together but are waiting to have sex). In the morning I made him breakfast and gave him a small massage to wake him up. He pulled me down next to him and passionately kissed me before getting up. As he was eating and getting ready I made him a lunch to take to work. He looked so hot in his business clothes and I was wearing a floral apron. I swear its what I always wanted. He's buying a house soon and was asking what my dream bedroom would look like and I showed him a picture which he really liked. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life! Thanks RPW!


[–]throwawayabay 15 points16 points  (2 children)

That's a great story, really nice to hear.

The only advice I can give comes from personal experience, especially over this past year or so.

Work on yourself and base your happiness on something that can't be touched. What I mean is that if your happiness is based on things that can change, you are in a sense a slave to your emotions and at great risk of living on an emotional rollercoaster. For example, if your happiness is based off the state of your relationships, what happens when, not if, your relationships take a turn for the worse? If your happiness is based off your circumstances, job status, financial status, even your health, what happens when, again, not if, these things are waning instead of waxing?

Again, from personal experience, I've learned it's usually pretty easy to be happy when everything in life is great. I'm still learning to keep a perspective of maintaining my joy and peace even when life isn't all good.

Good luck and glad to hear things are good!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What are some of the things you should base your happiness off of then? I find that most of life is transient. I'm not sure what I could turn my happiness towards that doesn't have some potential to change

[–]throwawayabay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. Pretty much everything in life is beyond our control and can be lost to us. Honestly, for me? The only thing I've found that I can rely on no matter what is God. I don't mean religion ... too often people confuse God with religion. But, I've found having faith in an unchanging God who has shown love for me more deeply than what anyone else ever could has provided an anchor for my life.

This past year, I was abandoned by really the only person I've ever truly become emotionally vulnerable with, my STBX of nearly 7 years. She cheated on me and tore my life apart. I won't lie and say I've been happy during all of this. I fell into a deep, dark season, depressed, having a lot of horrible self-harming thoughts that I'm truly ashamed I even had. But I can say that it's been my faith that pulled me through. Even though our divorce isn't finalized, even though the outcome is not at all what I wanted, even though my life partner and best friend is still really emotionally and/or psychologically messed up, I have peace. I know things will be alright and I know my future will be blessed.

I read an awesome book a few months back "Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering" by Timothy Keller. It was a pretty solid read as he delves into many different faiths and beliefs, including that common in modern Western society, and how they all approach suffering. He comes to some very interesting conclusions.

All that to say, regardless of what you believe, it is important to find a rock that can stand against the storms of life. If it isn't God, I'm not sure (based on my own experiences) what that rock can be that won't change and will always be there.

[–]blacktulip00 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Your post history has a removed post on RPW from 40 days ago asking about how to recover from trauma and feelings of low self worth-

I would love to hear more about how you've made such remarkable progress especially in such a relatively short period of time :)

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Thanks for the interest. Honestly, I'm not completely recovered. I still have the effects of trauma hindering me and feelings of low self-worth. However, these issues of mine have been slowly decreasing over time. Its a never-ending battle and I simply refuse to give up. I've come so far because I have an overwhelming urge to reach higher and safer levels of society (statistically they are happier and healthier) and to provide my future children with the best start in life. The idea of my future children is what is motivates me. I don't want the generational abuse to continue (my grandparents abused my parents which resulted in my sister and I being abused).

What has allowed me to advance forward in life despite my mental difficulties in essentially, "faking it till you make it." which is something I have kept at since I was very young.

I've asked people often how they perceive me and this is what they said: I have my life figured out, I'm rich, I'm happy, I come from a good family, I come from the upper class, I'm multitalented, I'm knowledgeable, I'm kind, eloquent, etc.

However, I come from poverty, abuse, pain, sickness, etc. I seem multitalented and knowledgeable because I was desperate for a long time and had to learn many things to move forward and survive. I know how to check teeth for cavities because I didn't have money for the dentist, I know which plants you can forage because at one point I didn't have money for food, I'm adept at social situations because I had to influence people in order to surive and escape what I came from.

So no I'm not entirely recovered but I've been on an upward trajectory both in my goals and recovery. I don't know if I will ever fully be recovered but I trust in God. God gave me these trials because he knew I could handle it. Trials are lessons, if you allow them to teach you. The abuse, death, homelessness, rape, and poverty that I suffered taught me a great deal. The lessons I learned are the reasons why I am who I am today. Who I am today attracted a great man into my life. So I am thankful to God.

Side note: If you have dealt with any of these similar difficult situations, be very careful of who you tell. There are people who actively prey on women who might be easier to control or hurt due to their background. I will always tell men I had a loving relationship with my father because some terrible men prey on girls who had a bad situation because they believe it makes it easier to get them in bed.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

I have my life figured out, I'm rich, I'm happy, I come from a good family, I come from the upper class..

However, I come from poverty...

The ... homelessness..poverty that I suffered taught me a great deal.

So which is it? Are you rich from a good upper class family or from a homeless impoverish one?

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I began with, "I''ve asked people often how they perceive me and this is what they said..." sorry I didn't make it clear but that is how other people perceive me, That I come from a good family. I've found that when people have assumed I came from a good family they would treat me better. I was only homeless for a short time and we weren't always impoverished, I think it was around 10- 11 things went downhill.

[–]Wissenschaft85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is very true. Predatory humans (male and female) look for people who seem vulnerable, lack confidence, have low self-esteem to be their targets. Speaking of which, the best defense a woman has against any kind of assault is to look confident. Rapists or abusive partners tend to target those woman that look weak, easily scared, and controlled. Because those women are easy targets and bullies are cowards by nature.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

maybe she's still working on it. I struggle with both of those things occasionally but have a very loving and healthy relationship, and I'm even happy with my life most of the time.

[–]fetchyminx 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Is this real life

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ask the hamster.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 5 points6 points  (8 children)

We've been official for only a week haha but have been dating for a few months and got close very fast.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

    She is lying. To herself and us. Nothing about her posts makes sense. Zero consistency. Look, a snowflake in July!

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

      She refuses repeated requests regarding age and information. Selective disclosure. Her trickle down abuse claims are subjective. Hell, we all have suffered abuse in one form or another. I won't disclose my story because I don't use it as a scapegoat for anything. I am an adult.

      [–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I haven't used abuse as a scapegoat. I don't see how age effects anything but I am 24. What other information? I'm sorry that you experienced something that has put you in a painful position.

      [–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This sounds really adorable, congrats on becoming official!!

      Your story is really incredible and I applaud your efforts to better your life (and your pragmatic realization of what it will take to do so).

      Don't want to rain on the parade by any means! but do be careful about looking too far forward in time (to moving in together, etc.). The high of those early days can be amazing and is worth savoring.

      [–]tuyguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Adorable

      [–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What a perfect image!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (26 children)

      Why won't you disclose your age or history?

      [–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm 24. What history?