Star Trek: TNG on the Captain-First Mate relationship (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by aTweetingBird

Well, in this case, Captain-First Officer relationship :)

Data and Worf are filling in as Captain and First Officer (respectively) because Picard and Riker are off of the ship for an extended time. Before this scene, Worf had been a little huffy with Data on the bridge.


I thought it was a great explanation of how you shouldn't negate your spouse in front of others, and instead speak to him later, privately. Show your man that you respect him :) Especially when you're around others.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yes, lol. My husband and I watch TNG and it's actually great for first mate and Riker and Picard are a great example as well of Captain -First mate.

It's why Picard calls Riker "Number 1" for first officer of the Enterprise.
Love this, it's so true . You should never criticize or negate you spouse in front of people. This is a private matter. And how can he have confidence when the people around have seen him stripped down by his wife? It colors their view of him and you, as well as his view of himself.

Also hello fellow fan of TNG , the best of Star Trek!

[–]LadyLumen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So true. There is nothing that emasculates a man more than a shrew wife who embarrasses him in public. I remember I had this teacher who I really respected and saw as an Alpha male type 100%. But then he invited me over to his house for dinner, and once I was there his wife was criticizing and talking openly about his faults constantly as he just sat there. Completely changed my opinion of him, in a sad way.

[–]inkedpink 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything stated. I'm just extra glad that there a bunch of nerds in here.

The captain/first officer dynamic is pretty ingrained in me if only cause of military experience. If you consider your family/relationship like a ship that needs to be manned/maintained/supported then this dynamic becomes almost automatic.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Interesting :) What episode was that?

[–]Indras1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gambit II, season 7 episode 5. Took me a few minutes to find it!

[–]LifterofThings 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I think it's also important to note (and Dana was the one who pointed this out to me originally) that the first mate is not a doormat, subservient, or a boot-licker. He (or she) is a respected advisor, and the most trusted right hand of the captain. There's been a lot of confusion (mostly outside the community) about what being first mate or being submissive entails. I think this is a good illustration of how it should work.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is why I keep saying our relationships are about male military deference hierarchies not "submission" . The dom/sub paradigm is not correct for the relationships we're describing

[–]rpBlueSkye 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love using the star trek Cpt/FO dynamic to compare to relationships. So does my DH because we both looooove star trek!

Can the FO disagree? Yes. Can he have opinions? Yes. Does he sometimes have a better idea on how to carry something out? Yes. But all concerns are brought out privately in the ready room and discussed. Never undermining the Cpt authority or making the crew doubt the orders. When the Cpt is out, the FO is in charge, makes the decisions according the what is the best course of action, and in harmony with what the Cpt would have wished. This is what so many people who are against RPW don't get. We are not doormats, we do have control. Just in a more private and respectful way.

Everyone follows and respects the Cpt because he dosen't abuse his power but is smart and makes decisions without being overly emotional. (This is what a good high quality alpha will do!)

[–]__clarity__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a very good explanation, and something I tend to struggle with. Sometimes I have to take a step back and breathe and think about what's important to me before I speak. Thanks op.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love that so many of us are star trek fans :)

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so funny to read this now because on Sunday night my husband and I watched Star Trek: Into Darkness and I was thinking about the relationship between Kirk and Spock in the context of a romantic relationship.