Hopefully I'm preaching to the converted but this popped up on my FB and thought I'd pass it on (familyshare.com)
submitted 3 years ago by TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor
[–]littlebit_ 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (7 children)
I think number 3 is the most important, especially in our culture today. I was taught never to complain about your husband or boyfriend to your friends & family (even if it's to legitimately vent), because eventually, you're going to forgive him, but your friends & family won't be able to because they don't love him the way you do.
[–]WifeyGoals 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I was raised being told to keep all family affairs to the household only.
[–]aTweetingBird 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I learned this the hard way. Any time I would vent or confide in my mom something about my husband that had annoyed me, she would parrot it right back when he was around. It only happened a couple of times, so I learned pretty quickly to not complain. They were usually small, stupid things, and weren't worth it to make him look bad.
[–]GrowingSlowly 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I completely agree. No matter how I am feeling, nothing can convince me to badmouth my SO to anyone. I think the way that you put it is perfect as well.
[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor[S] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I couldn't agree more
[–]Katniss_GrangerEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I completely agree, I know there's tonnes of things that wives and girlfriends do wrong (unfortunately) but complaining about their SO is one of my biggest pet peeves. It just reeks of disloyalty!
The people who I've said this to try to defend it as well! "sometimes you need to get something small of your chest" - if it's small then it's not important shut up and keep it to yourself.
"but sometimes it's really upsetting and they need to talk about it" - If it's that big an issue, shut up and resolve the issue with your SO.
Arghh, I could rant for days about this!
[–]vintagegirlgame 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
So important not to say negative things about your SO to your friends and family, but who can you talk to about relationship issues these days? It's so hard to find someone who will be a good listener and not chime in with useless BP advice. Thank god for RPW! Just wish I had some ladies like you in real life...
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Did a bit of morning reading going through that site, it's not that bad and there is a lot of good information there. This article was particularly interesting, I had always wondered if I was the only who thought our world worshiped independence.
Though their advice aimed at men isn't that great to say the least.
[–]lisfb 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I don't think independence is a bad thing to have, but there is something to be said (a lot, really!) about interdependence. I feel, though, there aren't nearly as many general articles, blog posts, etc devoted to the topic.
I feel a person's entire existence is built primarily through interdependence - family, friends, significant others, work relationships, too; some sort of network is developed and, hopefully, maintained. At the very least, at one point or another,a person is going to have to rely on at least one other person for something in order to learn/grow.
[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Despite the good intentions, there are still too many quips pandering to Team Womyn. E.g. "he has good intentions (most of the time), he hears what you say (most of the time)", "most husbands aren't perfect, and he knows it" those snide asides can be equally applied to women.
I hear those, and I feel like the author is apologizing for what she is saying. Like "be nice to your husband, but don't worry, I still think men are doofuses".
[–]cxj 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Male opinion: #6 is most important to me. I can put up with quite a bit of bullshit as long as I'm getting laid every day, but a dead bedroom for one week shoves all my patience for female bullshit out the door. The most common end to my relationships is when the girl doesn't get her way and stops having sex with me. I usually just cut contact altogether.
[–]StingrayVC 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child)
When it popped up on your FB feed was it being slammed or agreed with?
[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Apart from a few humorous comments from some men it was pretty neutral
Most of the people I have on FB are pretty chill and I don't think they'd say much just because they disagree
Interestingly the woman who posted it was probably the last person I thought would post something like that