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DISCUSSION"I settled into a traditional gender role, and I feel liberated" (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by LovingYouWasRed

I think this is such a great article that exemplifies so much of what we talk about around here!! It's a bit liberal....but that almost adds to it! She realizes she's happier with traditional gender roles, and comes to the same conclusion of what we already know (with some liberal "exceptions" I think she feels obligated to make).

Great read, let's discuss :)

Article Here


[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (13 children)

84% of women want to be SAHMs, 33% resent their husbands for not making enough money so the wife can be a SAHM.

70% of americans hate their jobs, so it's no surprise that women are overwhelmingly happier being SAHMs than working some shitty job they hate.

if you have a guy who loves you and wants to provide for you and your children while you stay and care for them, you being a SAHM is the obvious, sane choice. knowing that virtually all women want to be SAHMs and their happiness is drastically higher, aspiring to be a SAHM and developing the traits to make you more attractive as a SAHM is the obvious sane choice. anyone who tries to shame you about traditional gender roles is fucking delusional.

[–]Willow-girl 8 points9 points  (12 children)

Actually there is a study out there somewhere (I'll try to find it if you want ... I think The Atlantic reported on it awhile back) that showed most moms prefer to work part-time. And I concur with that ... working part-time allows you to get out of the house a bit and network with other adults who share some of your interests. Of course that may not be practical while the kids are very young, but certainly once they reach school age,,,,,.

Working part-time is the perfect compromise in my books; of course, YMMV! (I have a great deal of flexibility in my current work arrangement -- I'm able to set my own schedule -- and that helps, too.)

Edited to add a link to the research I referenced. It's from Pew: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/08/19/mothers-and-work-whats-ideal/

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I could never stay home. I love my job and learning new things and working with customers and specializing in teenagers and making an impact. It's also an impossibly competitive field and I work for the highest paying library system in the region, so if I left, I'd never get my position back.

A friend of mine once told me about the year she spent home with her son and how she just became a shell of herself, because it wasn't for her. I know that's how I'd feel. I'd agree that part time would be the ideal when I have young children, but neither I, nor my fiance, is comfortable with the idea of me not working.

[–]Willow-girl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could never stay home.

I agree. I love what I do, even if it isn't a high-paying or prestigious position. I get such a "high" every time a cow I bred calves! :-)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt like a shell of myself the first year too. Probably more the first half of the year. Having a newborn is hard. Especially without much help. But now I love it. And that's with moving around once a year and having no friends or family near us. I still love it! But if you don't have the mindset of challenging yourself as a housewife, it's easy to become lonely and depressed and go just give into the lack of expectations.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Totally agree. I've been volunteering at my church every Wednesday with the small girls group they have, mentoring girls ages 6-12. It's a small slice of my time but it is helpful to the community and to the individual.

    [–]AlphaWeaboo 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    Then it goes something like Part-time>sahm>carrer

    [–]okaygirl123 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    I do see why women would prefer to work part time. Beyond a certain age, as the children grow independent, taking care of the house is also done by machines most of the time. Hence, many women end up sitting on the couch watching TV. They'd rather use the extra free time they have to bring in some extra cash

    [–]teaandtalk4 Stars 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    I think that shows a lack of imagination on the part of many women :( there are so many things I'd do around the house if I had more time/energy! I'd extend my garden, do more baking, make preserves, improve my soft-furnishings (re-do the curtains), keep everything spotless, and learn new skills!

    [–]Willow-girl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think working forces me to be more efficient with my time. Usually I schedule one or two mornings off during the week, and I have a plan for what I want to accomplish on those days. I'm afraid if I had a clear calendar, it would be too tempting to fluff off, knowing I could always do that work tomorrow! :-o

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I do agree with you there! Many women think because they got the bath mat-hand towel- toothbrush cup set from Walmart means their "homemaking" and it's just like.... Ugh. You can do so much better than that!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I totally agree! If I didn't have a toddler hanging off me, I would sew clothes, refinish furniture, knit, go to the gym, volunteer more, etc!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm a divorced dad finished my masters (not working) . I have my kid a week on, week off. The weeks I have him are about perfect. Get him ready for school, drop him off, work out, work on school for 3-5 hours, get him at 3 and we do some tv, video games etc and he's asleep at 730.

    If I didn't have school and income from a husband I'd just find a part time job that would allow me to use my mind.

    The difficult part is the winter and spring break when there is no school and the outside is to cold to play. We have hardly anything to do to fill out time. I'm aslo a complete waste the week my son is with his mom. I work out less. Do and get less HW done.

    [–]Willow-girl 13 points14 points  (9 children)

    Good read! Thanks for sharing it. :-)

    When I was a "career woman," I was often irked by the state of my house (I wasn't smart enough to hire a cleaning lady, lol). I longed to be in my garden (especially on nice days!). But I also loved what I did for a living and often felt torn between my work and home obligations. I wanted to do both, but there just weren't enough hours in the day!

    My solution was to "downshift" into a non-career track that gives me more time at home. I took a financial hit, sure, but have never really regretted it. Life is short and you only get one go-round ... I don't want to wait until I'm retired to do the things I enjoy. :-)

    [–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (8 children)

    That's exactly how I felt too! No matter how much money I made as a career woman, when I saw my house beginning to fall apart, I just couldn't stand it.

    The home is much more than a house and it reflects a vital part of the family.

    Like the home, I was emotionally falling apart. I eventually left work and started studying from home for teaching. When I teach I plan to do so only part time, until I have children, so I can take care of the home. The tranquility and state of your home is valuable beyond money.

    [–]801735 7 points8 points  (6 children)

    The home is much more than a house

    There's this old saying, goes something like this "The man builds the house, then his woman turns it into a home."

    [–]Willow-girl 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    LOL, that was certainly the case here! This was very much a bachelor pad when I moved in. The man has humored my nesting instinct, though. Whenever I ask if it's OK to do something to the house, his standard answer is, "Will I still be able to get to the bathroom and see the TV?" and if the answer is "Yes," he's down with it. :-)

    [–]801735 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Lucky you. =]

    [–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    LOL, yeah, especially since he remodeled the whole house since I moved in! I think I was here about week before we started tearing the bathroom apart.

    [–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    My boyfriend does something really funny sometimes, he'll buy groceries for dinner that night, plop it down on the kitchen and give me a look. It makes me laugh, like a caveman bringing back a goat for dinner and I have to skin it.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    😂

    [–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wonderful quote! I love it!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes! When I taught the house was a disaster, I never cooked, I ate terribly, and I had no energy to do anything but lay on the couch grading papers and writing lesson plans. I was also pregnant. Lol. But still.

    [–]WholesomeAwesome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    For some reason, it was the cooking that really bothered me.

    But here's the thing: I enjoy it.

    ? right ok

    [–]WholesomeAwesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    We see it in the motherhood community, with moms who choose to work fearing judgment from those who choose to stay at home and vice versa

    Yay Leaving my baby to strangers! Of course I love him!