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SJW friend constantly posting fat acceptance posts on his facebook, while he has only dated skinny, attractive women. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by LadyLumen

This is not really that important of a post. I'm just frustrated with people who keep pushing this narrative of fat acceptance, while they themselves are clearly not attracted to obese women.

I understand that our culture holds up impossibly skinny women as the standard for beauty, and I think being anywhere from 5-15 pounds overweight isn't a big deal. Yet at the same time, a lot of these fat acceptance posts with things like "fat is the new beautiful" showing very obese women and praising them for their fat is basically praising an unhealthy lifestyle, it's like saying smoking and drinking is also beautiful.

I know that being fat is hard, and that losing weight is a struggle. But that doesn't mean we need to idealize fat. We can be nice to people who are fat, we shouldn't sham them or be cruel. But swinging in the opposite direction and praising a very unhealthy lifestyle that leads to early death and heart disease is not good either.

I also find that it's completely hypocritical that the people who post these things have never dated or slept with a fat chick in their life, even though being fat is supposedly "beautiful too!" I think these people are just trying to score SJW points and look open minded and tolerant, while pretty much having the same views that most RP people have without admitting it.

I feel like it's better if people are just honest about what they are attracted to without worrying about the PC police, then we can all figure out what we need to do to have a healthy life and earn long term companionship, romance, sex and love.

Most people are attracted to healthy people at a healthy weight. Why is it controversial to admit that?


[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (49 children)

I have somewhat nebulous opinions when it comes to body acceptance, especially in regards to how it affects young people. On the one hand, I don't want young girls and boys to grow-up thinking if they don't fit the classic mold of often idolized masculine and feminine body ideals that they are automatically ugly. I want kids to be taught how to eat well-balanced meals, and I think P.E. should be a mandatory class at every grade (even in college). Physical coordination isn't something that comes naturally to everyone, but those skills can be improved with practice. There's also a lot of different kinds of activities that get you moving (you don't have to enjoy sports or be competitive to enjoy rock-climbing, skiing, skating, hiking, biking etc). I dislike when people automatically equate being active with sports, because not everyone enjoys competition, and I think it ends up discouraging many kids that don't start out with natural abilities. So diversifying the activities that kids get exposed to would be great. Playing and physical exertion would also help kids focus more when they're in the classroom.

I don't agree with people that hate on individuals that are overweight and in the process of working out, changing their lifestyle, and making an effort. I don't understand the point of mocking someone that has lost some weight, but still has a lot of work to do. Progress is progress, and I always encourage people to try and put in more effort. If you start working out, but get mocked for not having an ideal body right off the bat - that makes things a lot more difficult. I think positive support is good, and that one of the problems is how obsessed with posting every moment online our world has become. Attention seeking behaviors in general can be very annoying - regardless of the person's weight, age, gender, and personal beliefs. We celebrate the 'self' in some very odd and unhealthy ways at times.

On the other hand, when a 300+ pound person tries to say that they are 'healthy' and lead an active lifestyle - it's hard to take them seriously. I like the idea of positive self-image, and promoting confidence and self-love, but it has to go hand in hand with responsibility, awareness, and a healthy lifestyle. I do think there is sometimes an eagerness to blame certain illnesses/genetics etc for heavy weight as an easy 'cop-out.'

Basically, I think children should be taught to feel good about themselves while also being taught to embrace an active lifestyle and well-balanced eating.

The "fat is beautiful" type messages go a bit overboard at times, and can come across as an attempt to try and 'force' people to change what they find attractive. I was shocked at the outrage at that 'fit mom' - she worked hard to get where she is physically. I admire that kind of dedication and determination - I find it inspiring as well. People are attracted to different things, it's something that is innate - you cannot force yourself to be attracted to someone...but I do think you can try to lie about it. Many relationships often fall apart when the lack of attraction morphs into disbelief/revulsion (this can happen if a partner gets really out of shape, or if they lose so much weight it's unhealthy, or if they become so obsessed with fitness that they become too muscular etc).

Generally, men and women are attracted to healthy body-shapes, with certain ratios (I'm not talking about body fetishes like 'feeders' or whatever it's called, because I think there are other issues that go into those kinds of dynamics that are not healthy).

I'm rambling, so I'll try to wrap this up. I like the idea of body-positivity and self-love, but only when it's accompanied with responsible eating patterns and a healthy/active lifestyle. That doesn't mean you have to run marathons, or lift weights either - only that you move everyday in an effort to push your heart, work up a sweat, and tend to your muscles. Stretching is incredibly important to me, as is engaging in a regular body-weight work-out routine (pilates and yoga type moves) that emphasizes muscle control and body position. I don't recommend fad diets, or anything that presents itself as a 'quick fix' because being healthy is a life long pursuit, not a sprint.

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 6 points7 points  (17 children)

Agreed on all counts. Particularly:

I dislike when people automatically equate being active with sports, because not everyone enjoys competition, and I think it ends up discouraging many kids that don't start out with natural abilities. So diversifying the activities that kids get exposed to would be great.

This was a HUGE problem for me in school and I feel PE did me a disservice in many ways. There were only particular types of physical activity that were encouraged, and they happened to be activities I did not remotely enjoy. I absolutely loved the units we would do on different workout routines, but unfortunately those were few and far between in favor of learning sports. I can't say for certain, but I think it could have helped me to develop some better habits if I had been taught from a young age to take care of my body and make physical activity a priority instead of basically just being told that it's good to do sports as a hobby. I feel like it's something I've only fairly recently kind of figured out. I've never been overweight, but I'm definitely trying to focus more on being active in my daily life and avoiding a sedentary lifestyle, which absolutely does not mean I have to be involved in sports.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I agree, but it makes sense why sports are sort of the 'default.' It's way easier to have a limited number of rules, along with an objective, that occupies 4-12+ kids all at once (depending on the sport, game etc). I think classes that focus on dance (for example) are a bit better. Teach different movements and ways to work with your body. I never particularly enjoyed track - yet every year, without fail, I had to run the half mile and mile as part of the standard PE testing (along with other classic track and field events). Schools don't have the space, money, or resources needed to really take advantage of different kinds of activities which is a shame.

I always loved sports, but it made me sad to see people that were clearly miserable, and that there really wasn't enough time for anyone to learn and improve. The natural athletes picked things up quickly, and the less coordinated kids just shuffled through until a new unit (and focus) started. So it wasn't really that anyone learned, changed, or improved...if you were bad at one game, chances were you'd be bad at the other games. I completely understand why a lot of kids hated P.E. when they were in school, and I think in some cases that motivated them to avoid other P.E. classes as they got older.

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (4 children)

here we have a mandatory track and field day every year where depending on your age you had to achieve a certain number of points. it was all stuff i was really bad at and i was miserable. the best students got honorary mentions, the second best got victors and the worst got participant mentions. not like i didnt already know i cant jump for or run fast, no, everyone had to know. i vowed i'd take my kids out of school on those days (unless of course they enjoy it) and do something fun instead. that semester every. single. year. just discouraged me more. i see why physical education should still be taught but i'm sure there are ways to not discourage those who are not naturally athletes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'm sorry you went through that. I had friends that went through similar experiences as well. The schools didn't keep track of points or anything though. It's unfortunate, because everyone can find something they like.

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (2 children)

oh well. i have many more stories like that. of being ignored when i really tried in PE class and all that jazz. it did discourage me for the longest time but about a year ago i decided that those teachers dont care what they've done to me. and that it doesnt harm them when i dont exercise. it harms me. and the best way to tell them to (excuse my french) go fuck themselves is to work on myself and to be active. they will never know but i feel better.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Many people have been driven to achieve solely to prove their critics wrong. I'm glad you have some fuel for to add to your fire, and it sounds like you haven't let it consume you to the point of bitterness/irrationality.

I wish you all the best. :0)

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hated PE sports too! I was good at some of them, but when I got to junior high I stopped giving effort because I didn't want to get all sweaty in the middle of school, and partially because we would play the same sports over and over again (volleyball and badminton). I know a few high schools let students drop PE for a semester if they played sports that semester, which is better because you can get the exercise you need, and it encourages team sports which looks good for college and gets you more involved with other students than a regular PE class.

[–]mrp3anut -1 points0 points  (9 children)

It isn't you PE teachers responsibility to teach you how to be skinny for your entire life. They are there to keep you active in your youth to help facilitate growth and provide a social environment for children to be active instead of sitting in a desk all day.

Sports is the best option for younger kids because competition is a mandatory part of life. If you refuse to be competitive in your adult life then you will end up on the losing end of just about everything.

Once you got into highschool you should have been looking for activities that you did enjoy instead of just writing off physical activity as miserable and blaming your PE program for not having Yoga or interpretive dance or something.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It isn't you PE teachers responsibility to teach you how to be skinny for your entire life. They are there to keep you active in your youth to help facilitate growth and provide a social environment for children to be active instead of sitting in a desk all day.

Yes, and it would be more effective if P.E. was (1) a required class for everyone, even through college. (2) Kids need to be shown there are many different ways to move. Competition is part of life to varying degrees, but you don't have to be competitive in order to enjoy being active. Your narrow view of physical activity is a big reason why many less coordinated children grow up despising the idea of being active - because the only 'option' they are presented with relies on a team of people picking them last, pressure to preform skills they aren't given enough time to master, and then end up always in the middle or low-end of the pack. Everyone can learn and improve, given enough time and proper coaching.

Sports is the best option for younger kids because competition is a mandatory part of life.

No. Sports are the most popular option for kids because it keeps a lot of children occupied and running around all at once. It's easier to create two teams and have them play against each other (or to have them all compete in a race etc) than it is to try and organize a bike trip, hike, ice-skating, or rock climbing. There are a lot of activities that schools can't explore because of limitations in space, funding, and time.

Once you got into highschool you should have been looking for activities that you did enjoy instead of just writing off physical activity as miserable and blaming your PE program for not having Yoga or interpretive dance or something.

Yes, ideally people explore to discover new things. That said, if you hated math or history in school - chances are you are going to try and minimize how much you seek those things out later on in life. Many people want to do things they are comfortable with, understand, and have positive associations about - which is why it's so important to make P.E. a class that simultaneously embraces the naturally athletic students but also teaches and provides an opportunity for the less coordinated students to learn, improve, and get exposed to variety.

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this stated my thoughts exactly, and much better than I would have. :)

[–]mrp3anut -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I disagree completely. Forcing kids to be competitive is a must have. Too many kids grow up in an environment where every time they come to something they don't enjoy their parents and society as a whole gives them a pass. Whether it is discipline, education, physical activity, eating healthy etc. learn to play by they masses rules during work/school hours and spend your free time pursuing what really makes you happy.

All of the things you listed were non-competitive, my point still stands that this competition is a mandatory skill in life. If you want your kids to grow up having never experienced what competition feels like then when they are 18 and go out on their own they now have no experience in dealing with the rest of society where nobody gives a fuck if you don't like playing the game and they will take advantage of you if you choose not to play.

So should we also make math, history, and English classes for those that excel in them and leave the kids that don't like those subjects to flounder? How would you feel if as a kid you told your teachers you didn't like reading so they quit forcing you to read? What would your life be like if you were still at the "see spot run" level? How about if you didn't like math and never progressed past adding? How many people are going to take advantage of you since you aren't capable of basic multiplication or division.

The education system does not and should not care what you "like" doing. It needs to force you to do things that are good for you so that you aren't handicapped once you get into the real world.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I disagree completely.

That's fine.

Forcing kids to be competitive is a must have.

Force, really? I think we should push children to try new things, I think we should teach them that they can't just give up and 'quit' when something is hard. I believe in teaching children to be responsible, honest, and know how to adapt. That said, if a kid tries to play a sport for an entire season, and they still dislike it by the end - there's no reason to make them play it again the next year. Yes, it's damaging to always let kids get away with everything - but it's also damaging to make them feel inferior for disliking sports (or any activity). You don't change people's mind by making them do the same thing over and over again - that just breeds resentment, or makes them doubt their ability to decide things for themselves. Ever meet a neurotic person that has panic attacks if they don't get a perfect score? Or someone that is so critical of their performance during a game that it doesn't matter if the team won, because they made three small mistakes. A love for competition is by no means a 'must' in life.

Too many kids grow up in an environment where every time they come to something they don't enjoy their parents and society as a whole gives them a pass.

There's a difference between "forcing" children to compete - and making them follow through when they commit to something. Accountability and responsibility are very important characteristics for everyone to develop - and there's more than one way to do that.

Whether it is discipline, education, physical activity, eating healthy etc. learn to play by they masses rules during work/school hours and spend your free time pursuing what really makes you happy.

Yes, knowing how to operate within different contexts, groups, and situations is useful - but the forced competition of sports is by no means an 'absolute' in terms of learning how to develop those skills.

All of the things you listed were non-competitive, my point still stands that this competition is a mandatory skill in life.

Physical competition is not a mandatory skill in life. For many adults - sports have no actual relevance to their ability to make a living (unless the person is a professional athlete, trainer etc). You're also making an assumption that only sports can teach kids how to compete, which isn't true at all. The school system in general is not only a competition against the individual, but also against peers. That's what grades, tests, presentations, awards etc are at the end of the day. Getting an "A" in geometry is a competition of the individual against the information (and, if the test is graded on a curve - than a competition against all the students in the class). I'm more likely to agree with you that the ability to compete intellectually and socially is a useful skill to learn that can positively (or negatively) influence a person's quality of life (earning power/job, popularity etc) - but physical competition is a completely different thing. Yes it's true that competing on teams, and being forced to make decisions in the moment can be valuable. Knowing to when to trust your instincts, and how to work with a team etc are both good skills - but again they can be develop in ways that do not involve sports.

If you want your kids to grow up having never experienced what competition feels like then when they are 18 and go out on their own they now have no experience in dealing with the rest of society where nobody gives a fuck if you don't like playing the game and they will take advantage of you if you choose not to play.

Again, you're making the same assumption here (ie that competition only manifests in physical match-ups/sports. Kids need to learn how to stand up after experiencing failure and move on - but P.E. classes are rarely about that. The kids that start out in the middle, or at the bottom of the skill pool don't suddenly rise to the top of the class. For one thing the units for each sport are generally too brief, and the coaching/instruction/practice time isn't sufficient enough to allow for extreme growth and improvement. I say this as someone that has played sports my entire life, and when you get 30 minutes a day for P.E. in a class of 30+, it's unlikely that the less skilled kids will make remarkable improvements. I also already stated earlier on this thread that kids should be given an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve - but those things take time and knowledge.

So should we also make math, history, and English classes for those that excel in them and leave the kids that don't like those subjects to flounder?

Right, now you are making wild assertions in an attempt to disprove a point that I never made (ie you seem to think that I want to 'excuse/bail out kids that don't like P.E. ' when in reality I have only been saying that 1. P.E. should be mandatory at all ages - even in college, and 2. P.E. should offer a broader range of activities that goes beyond sports). You're going out of your way to paint a ridiculous picture, and your basis stems not from what I said at any point, but rather from your misinterpretation of my comment(s).

The education system does not and should not care what you "like" doing.

Where did I say that it should? All I have said is that it would be beneficial to expose kids to (1) healthy eating habits, (2) mandatory P.E. at every age, and (3) a variety of activities that goes beyond the normal sports angle.

I'm not sure if you are willfully trying to misunderstood my comment(s) or whether I simply wasn't as clear as I should have been from the start - but either way you are jumping to ridiculous and overblown conclusions.

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Are you a PE teacher or something? Jesus Christ. Did you get the impression somehow that I'm overweight or struggling to shed some pounds and blame PE because I can't? I've never been overweight and obviously found ways to be active, but it would be nice if those ways were highlighted in school. I'm not, nor have I ever been, at all competitive. I'm a woman. That isn't an attractive quality in women. I'm doing just fine with the small level I have.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ignore that user, he's making some 'interesting' assumptions that have nothing to do with you specifically as an individual. My guess is that he has some overall frustrations either with himself or other people in regards to physical activity. I responded to him as well since his comment was over the top and unnecessary.

[–]mrp3anut 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It wasn't my intent to come across as a personal attack on you but I can see why you took it that way. The point is that PE classes are not meant to guide or cater to every individual kid's preferences. They are or at least were designed to accomplish the things I mentioned in my previous post.

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

They're not designed to cater to preferences, but supposedly (at least in the US) are meant to address the obesity epidemic and encourage good habits. Perhaps it would have been better addressed in health class rather than PE, but I think kids should be taught that there are many forms of exercise and while sports are good for you, it's also good to find other ways of being active. While this hasn't been a huge problem for me since I'm naturally small anyway, I do think that lifetime activities one can do to stay active would have been a good unit. Much like I think we should have had a class that highlights being responsible with finances.

[–]mrp3anut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What level are we talking about here?

Elementary?(~5-11) No, just make the kids run around and play games. You are not going to teach a kid nutrition when they are still learning their times tables and how to color inside the lines.

Middle school(~12-14) You can introduce real nutrition into the coursework but it should be its own course. The PE hour should be physical activity and interacting/competing with other students.

High School(~15-18) The athletically inclined kids will be on the schools competitive teams so their PE hour can be spent with their team if you want. If you aren't on an athletic team you should be forced to continue going to PE class and playing games there. Track/field is a good choice since it covers basic human motor skills, unlike the popular sports which typically have very specific skills that aren't really applicable outside the sport itself.

As with anythig the public school system does it will be heavily affected by how your parents approach your education. If your parents care and force you to participate then you will probably succeed. If you spend your 1 hour pt session, regardless if it is baseball, track or practicing your jazz hands, gaffing off then go home and your parents let you play play-station for the rest of the night then you will still end up fat.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (22 children)

Really nicely put. It has to go hand in hand for me to really respect it. I don't hate obese people just like that, I dislike the ones that take no responsibility for how they got there, are delusional, and extreme hypocrites especially when you put science in front of their faces.

Genetics is the worst excuse of them all and then there's the blame on a medical condition when in reality weight gain from an actual condition is more rare then you would think. Most people do not adjust their caloric intake when something medical puts them at a disadvantage which is a problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (19 children)

Thanks eatplaycrush!

It's been a very interesting journey for me, because for the first 20-ish years of my life I was always participating in 3+ sports. When I started high school, I focused on my two favorites, and then decided to stick with one (because I wanted to play sports in college). I did end up competing at the collegiate level (it was an entirely different world from what I had experienced before - and the differences were not all positive). After I graduated, and began to relax and change the way I worked out - I noticed a huge change in my appetite. It dwindled considerably, and at first that was an odd adjustment for me to make. When you're used to eating like a horse, it seems odd to have the needs of a bird.

I also have sports injuries from all those years of lifting and competing, nothing terribly 'unexpected' - but being pain free and mobile are really important to me. When I stick to my routine, my body doesn't ache, throb, or 'complain.' I find muscle soreness fairly comforting, because it's a reminder that I am doing what I need to do. Which can be another difficult adjustment for some people - there's a difference between "good pain" and "bad pain."

I think another difficult for some people that are trying to make changes is a lack of patience. They'll stick with things for a few weeks or a few months - and get frustrated that the progress isn't what they thought it would be. A person that has never worked out, and starting at 300+ pounds is going to drop weight a lot more quickly for a while than someone that has less weight to lose and has maybe been a bit more consistently active. Transformations don't happen over night, and it's important (although sometimes difficult) to take things one day at a time. Succeed right now, meet your goals today and don't worry about tomorrow (maybe it's a little hokey or too 'zen' for some people, but it's helped a lot of my friends that don't have that "I must win" tendency).

My SO is very supportive of me, and he loves breaking my concentration. It's fairly rewarding when I'm doing some of my hip exercises for example, and out of the blue he'll just kind of go "mmm-hmmm. Yep, that's nice." I'm so zoned-out and focused when I get into my routine and his observations always make me laugh (if I happen to be on my physio ball I'm also in danger of flopping over haha!). Working out should be a positive experience early on, especially if they're unfamiliar with the positive biological/chemical responses the body experiences after a good work out.

I'm not necessarily telling you these things, because I know you're far more informed in all these areas than I am haha. Just some personal observations I have made as a result of living both the very active, and more typical lifestyles, as well as trying to help some friends with their goals.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (18 children)

Thanks for taking the time to write that out.

I think you hit the nail on the head with eating like a horse then having to change your dietary needs afterwards can be..challenging. I know this for myself as well and this is a big part I spend time on with overweight clients. I feel if they really understand everything I put in front of them their success chances increase because then there are no "I don't knows." I also agree working out should be positive, do what works for you and I couldn't be happier. It can take someone a few tries before they find what really clicks with them, but as you said this is something that's needed to be incorporated for sustainability.

I truly do want the best for everyone I come in contact with. I work in this field.. I put a lot of effort and emotion into people because I care. If I see a client just isn't having fun I get to the bottom of it because I don't want to waste their time or my time if it's not rewarding for them. I've had a few that I've recommended to do other things, some came back some didn't, but this is honestly the most important factor in choosing what type of athletic activity you want to do.

It's subjective person to person, but I definitely try to cover all bases per the individual so they never think or feel this is going to be accomplished within a few weeks and i try to help them grasp this is a lifelong commitment to your health. We had too many new members for Jan.1st and only something like 37% ended up paying for the next month.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I always love when you give fitness and nutritional advice and talk about your personal goals as well as your professional work. It's clear that you do care a lot about these things, and I'm sure your enthusiasm is infectious. I agree with everything you said, and I'm a big fan of your overall work ethic, philosophy, and attitude. :0)

I truly do want the best for everyone I come in contact with. I work in this field.. I put a lot of effort and emotion into people because I care. If I see a client just isn't having fun I get to the bottom of it because I don't want to waste their time or my time if it's not rewarding for them. I've had a few that I've recommended to do other things, some came back some didn't, but this is honestly the most important factor in choosing what type of athletic activity you want to do.

[–]trpbot[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/eatplaycrush by PhantomDream09. [History]

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[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! :)

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (14 children)

what do you mean by 'when a client isn't having fun'? this might be a stupid question to ask but who has fun at the gym? i've looked around and i never see anyone who seems to be enjoying themselves. and frankly i find it rather boring, too. sure it's a small success when i notice progress but usually it's just mind numbing to me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

It's different when you go to (some) large gyms, but recreational leagues (be it for basketball, volleyball, kickball, dodgeball, rock-climbing, ultimate frisbee etc) there's more of a 'community' among the participants. I don't really enjoy going to large gyms for solo workouts, but I find it extremely rewarding to take classes (bicycling, kick-boxing, pilates etc) or to work with a smaller group of people. If you aren't having fun, and you've given it an honest effort - then you should try something new. Also, a lot of times it's not 'fun' as in "ha-ha this is hilarious" but rather 'fun' as in "this is difficult, and I feel great because I am pushing myself."

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (5 children)

yes, that's what i meant by fun, too. but usually you can tell when people have fun in a 'wow, i feel great because i've really accomplished something today'-sense or when they even leave the building looking like they just wasted another 2 hours of their life. i've been thinking about it for a while now and i've decided to use the machines at the gym to build muscle but my cardio workout will be my bike and once i've moved i'll find swimming pool for that also. the mind numbing-ness is especially bad on treadmills and cross trainers (?). i just hate being so stationary. and i've tried classes before but i've never really exercised and i feel a mixture of embarrassment and like i'm just not good enough to keep up there. so i figured once i am in better shape i can try those again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Well, I know that when I work out, I probably look miserable. It's not because I'm unhappy - it's because I'm concentrating. Similarly, after a work-out I am exhausted/drained. This may or may not apply to the people you are seeing however. Don't be intimidated by the classes - the truth is, no one cares about where you are specifically in terms of fitness. They are there to work on themselves. Everyone has goals and struggles. I think it would help you to realize that people aren't judging you at the gym, and even if they are? They certainly aren't going to go up to you and say so. Don't let what other people may or may not think deter you from taking classes. Similarly, don't let your negative self-talk discourage you from trying.

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you're probably right. and i'm not giving up because i dont feel comfortable yet. i have a goal and i'll be damned if i don't reach it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear that. :0)

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Let me tell you a story. The very first day I stepped into a gym I actually had to stop the session early. I went to my car and I threw up in their parking lot. I'm sure I was embarrassed at the time since I was young and I remember it to this day, but it didn't stop me from accomplishing what I wanted or going back because it was awesome.

No one is worried about you. Focus on yoursef and make sure you have a program when you go so that you're not just bouncing around randomly which can make nerves much worse. I see you want to gain muscle so I'm going to strongly advise to learn how to use a barbell and dumbbells as this will get you to build muscle faster then only using machines will. I recommend learning how to squat, deadlift, OHP, and bench then use machines for accessory movements. The "secret" key to building muscle is eating in a surplus and squat/bench/dead/ohp.

Edit: I've never thrown up again within six years so don't take that as if it's part of working out. I'm pretty sure it was a combination oof nerves and lack of eendurance at the time lol

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha so i didn't do so bad when i first when to the gym :D

i'm moving soon and i guess i will join a different kind of gym there. and invest in someone making sure i don't make horrible mistakes the first couple of times. my gym doesn't actually have any weights except for a couple of tiny dumbbells.

[–]tradmarriageftw 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm going to agree with Phantomdream, you should try something new. I hate sports and never set foot in a gym, yet I have always been active and fit. Some things I have done and loved are rock climbing, horse back riding, ice skating, biking, swimming, recently my husband and I have gotten into snorkling in warm weather. Is there anything you have wanted to try?

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

well, i love swimming for example. but i'd like to build some muscle. and with the amount of time i'm willing to spend on exercise i just don't see a lot of muscle building in the water.

[–]tradmarriageftw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, I get what you are saying, swimming isn't great for that. I still think you should experiment with different activities. I've never done an activity to gain muscle, but biking every day to and from work has really made my legs look amazing and I know a girl who really enjoys rowing out on the lake and her arms look great. I think you can still get results with physical activity you enjoy, it would just taking some exploring.

[–]tryanotherJuanEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have fun at the gym. Do I enjoy every second? No, but overall I do enjoy it. Otherwise I wouldn't go back. I have a group of girl friends I like to chat with a few mins before our class starts or during a water break. I enjoy listening to music as I work out and I enjoy the relaxation of yoga. I enjoy running outside...noticing the changes in seasons and looking at houses as I pass. Perhaps if you don't enjoy the gym you need to find something physical that you do enjoy doing. If I forced myself to spend 45 mins on the treadmill 5 days a week, I would not enjoy the gym.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Sure, maybe at your typical globo gym that's the atmosphere, but typically when people go to independently owned gyms (be it a crossfit box, PL gym, a real BB gym, yoga, etc) these people are going to be much more engaged since there are coaches around and the sense of community is much tighter versus a globo gym. This definitely helps members to have more fun and everyone is very uplifting in this environment so everyone is always on top of everyone to stay positive because being negative within your fitness goals will only put up more mental blocks, and excercise is almost more mental then physical IMO. So, if I get a new client or if one I've had for a while just seems very out of it and uninterested (you'll be able to tell by their body language, how they're treating the weights or whatever they're working on) then I take a minute and talk to them. It's pretty rare because once you step into these types of gyms versus globo gyms then customers are much more serious and most of them get enjoyment out of the entire process.

it may be mind numbing to you, but it is my everything and when I finally found my niche I felt connected since day one. I am not easily stimulated and this never fails to provide that to me, whether my training session was shitty that day or not. It has been there for me when nothing else was, it has helped me grow into a better RPW by pushing me past uncomfortable limits, it has serious emphasis as to why I am so damn annoyingly persistent and my overall self. I am sure you have a thing in your life that you may find highly stimulating that others view as mind numbing and boring.

[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i'm kind of jealous of you. i'd like to have some form of exercise that is fulfilling that.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't be jealous. I got lucky that the first time I ever got really into fitness that I found something that just clicked really well. You just have to find what's right for you!

There have been some other really great options in this thread for being active. :)

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Most people do not adjust their caloric intake when something medical puts them at a disadvantage which is a problem.

ugh, mini-rant. I am in a couple of "support group" kind of things for people with my medical condition, and the amount that are overweight is pretty high. It can be really difficult for me/us to keep up with exercise routines and yeah, that's a legitimate medical disadvantage. But that is not an excuse to be fat. You can't work out? Stop eating so much, then. That is just such a lame excuse. If you are already really overweight, unless you start training like you're going to be in the Olympics and turn it into your full time job, you are probably not going to get to a healthy weight just because you start working out four days a week. Even if you could be physically active you would still be overweight, and you are completely lying to yourself to claim otherwise. Okay, rant over. Haha.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly. This relates to how Phantom said the change from eating like a horse to eating like a bird, it's not easy and in many cases that's just severely unheard of because why in the world should you stop eating as much as you did when you didn't have a medical disadvantage?

Is it easy to cut calories? No. Do they think that it's easy for athletes to do? It's not. It's part of our cycle which pushes us to do it and stick through positively, but it's not easy for people who are even used to doing it. It's mentally challenging, which points me back to my OP here in that it's mostly mental weakness for the lack of self control or people are actually this naive and delusional, but I would rather it be the latter I suppose.

Bottom line, maintaining your weight, gaining weight, or losing weight is all about your mentality and effort within your diet. What's weird to me is that people understand how to gain weight with no issue, but when it comes to even losing it they're clueless.

[–]mrp3anut -2 points-1 points  (7 children)

Having a strong sense of self worth often means you need to be capable of looking at yourself in the mirror and be honest.

If you see a stupid/fat/lazy/boring/random negative trait person in the mirror then call it what it is. What matters is what you do when you realize this. Do you cry your way through a tub of Ben & Jerry's or do you decide to to be that way anymore and do something about it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I do believe in honesty, and personal accountability - but I also do not think we should be cruel to ourselves to a point where it moves us to inaction. Being a well-adjusted adult means knowing how to identify and correct problems. Unfortunately, some people are never taught how to do these things. So you run into a lot of problems, whether it's not knowing how to manage a budget, hold down a job, be healthy, or get along with people. Everyone has weaknesses, which is fine - as long as the weakness does not also become an excuse.

It's possible to "I have x, y, and z problem" while also being happy and making positive steps to implementing changes. I don't think negativity needs to be part of that equation. At the end of the day, if you can't make yourself happy - no one else is going to be happy with you.

That's not to suggest that I think "self love" should be used as a shield for denial or a tool to promote destructive habits. Everything in life requires balance.

[–]mrp3anut -1 points0 points  (5 children)

We are saying the same thing with your version being a little more sugar coated.

If I were to let myself get fat again I could look at myself and say "Damn, you should be ashamed for letting yourself get this way.", without hating myself as a human being or thinking my weight or any other personal up to a certain point somehow lessens the value of my soul.

You can't really evaluate a persons worth to humanity until they are dead. Any judgements on the past are somewhat irrelevant if they make the right course corrections.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I don't consider my version sugar-coated, simply a bit more balanced. I also understand that we are saying the same-ish things with a varying degree of intensity/emphasis. People have different kinds of 'inner dialogues' with themselves, according to their personality, which is fine. I'm glad you can be frank and honest with yourself. I am as well, but I usually have a slightly more positive spin (because that's just how I am). So I wouldn't have the "I should be ashamed" sentiment - rather a "okay, I need to change this starting now..." and then make a plan.

As for 'evaluating a person's worth' only after they are dead - I'm not concerned with what other people think (with the exception of my SO, family, and friends). I'm not sure why or how "worth to humanity" came into the conversation, you have an interesting perspective, it's just not one that I share.

[–]mrp3anut 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The worth to humanity bit stems from why people have self esteem issues. Dont take it as a literal balance sheet of your worth but more of an abstract concept that you base your self esteem off of. It is also why the feminsit/progressive speech police push the fat acceptance/ slut acceptance/ gay acceptance dialogue so much.

The common factor of all these things is that society as a whole is not going out and lynching fat people, or slut, or even gays. people say mean things or build doors that aren't wide enough, use the word "gay" in a negative context etc. These people are self conscious about who they are. So many fat people associate their fatness with thier "worth" when in reality it has nothing to do with your "worth".

learning to seperate the things you should take a major personal issues and things that dont really matter is key here. When i say i should be "ashamed" i dont mean that i think i am a terrible person nor am i being harsh with myself. I recognize that something i value has gotten neglected and i shouldnt be letting that happen.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to explain you're thoughts. I agree that if a person learns to remove their insecurity from their sense of worth - then they'd not only become more objective, but also have an easier time addressing the issue. The problem is that it's not easy to be objective, especially if you have been bullied, ridiculed, dismissed and written off because of that trait.

We use a lot of honest language on this sub sometimes, and that's necessary sometimes to 'jolt' an individual into a different frame of mind - but bullying is wrong. When you're cutting someone down, inflicting pain for no reason other than to make them miserable is cruel. If an individual comes from a long history of trying to ignore, make excuses for, or flat out deny the existence of a problem - then they are going to have a very different kind of personal resolve and inner dialogue than someone that has lived a more even-keeled life. People get defensive and lose the ability to even listen if they are pushed into what seems like, just another version of a story they've lived 100 times before. You see this on the PPD sub sometimes. RP, BP, and PP users will all get to a point of frustration where conversation dissolves because one (or both parties) feel that their points are being missed (sometimes deliberately) while also making a lot of assumptions about the person they are trying to talk to. This happens in real life as well, obviously, and over all kinds of topics/opinions. I'm not saying it's good or bad - it's just something I've noticed.

I agree that everyone would be better off in a lot of cases if we could entirely separate general topics from our personal experiences/feelings - but it's not always possible. There's always going to be something else influencing us that is not based in logic - and that's fine. We're humans, not robots.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. I understand what you mean when you talk about being able to separate yourself from a problem, and observe it objectively without downing on yourself. I'm glad you have that ability, and that you understand yourself. Take care.

[–]tintedlipbalm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Negative self talk often perpetuates the cycle though. Like, people tell that to themselves, then get stressed, then overeat. Fat people often give themselves the worst treatment and that same mindset keeps the problem going. I get what you mean but, too often, self forgiveness is the first step to a healthy relationship with food and your weight. You can be disciplined without beating yourself up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, a lot of unhealthy habits are perpetuated by insecurity and really negative self-talk along with 'defeated' attitudes (irresponsible spending, over-eating and under eating etc). Honesty is important yes (you can't fix a problem if you're unwilling to admit that one exists), but so is balance and perspective.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]LadyLumen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guys who go along with the whole "fat women are beautiful too" bs are just as bad as women who go with the whole "girls ultimately want a nice guy who treats them like a queen!"

At the same time, these girls who are saying such things have only dated bad boys and just can't seem to find a nice guy...hrmmm....

[–]OldPinkertonGoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like big butts and I cannot lie. Seriously though, I'm attracted to healthy women, but BMI isn't the only barometer of a woman's health. If she's 400 lbs, then we're just friends. But I'd have no problem dating a moderately overweight woman.

Weight is a highly visible measure of a person's health. You can't tell from her photo if she smokes, uses drugs, is mentally ill, or has cancer. You can tell if she is fat, and this is why fat people are singled out to be picked on.

[–]TheToastTotEndorsed Contributor 12 points13 points  (2 children)

As an asian shitlord, I'm all for fatshaming. It's probably the reason why even though asians eat tons of rice, they don't get too fat. Fat shaming is normal.

Honestly, the fat FA bloggers are the biggest(heh) hypocrites. They claim that fat is beautiful and that they DESERVE hot, muscular men because they shouldn't settle for fat men lol.

Why is it controversial to admit that?

Well, it's controversial in the US because most of the people are fat, therefore you're offending them. Another thing to note is that men are pretty much shamed for having any sort of standard or preference. For example, if they like fit women they're fatshamers, but a woman who likes fit men is a strong idependet woman who doesn't settle and has standards. Also, no matter how much fat acceptance bullshit they spout, all these fatties are insecure because deep down they know that they're disgusting.

[–]LadyLumen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the true hypocrisy of the FA movement is that none of the fat people I know are attracted to fat people themselves. It's really just about trying to change what is considered attractive so they have to do less work. But you can't change human biology. An hour glass is sexy, a stick is okay, being a human circle is disgusting. You can't change human biology with a social movement.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My SO has Asian in him and we eat white rice almost like it's our job. No fatties here. Shitlord household forever.

Your comment is so spot on. FPH has shown me a lot of hypocritical views and delusions I've never wanted to see, but did enjoy heheh

[–]HULKx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a big guy and only date skinny women.

I know quite a few guys that like big women and actually consider skinny women ugly just got being skinny.

I'm not arguing with you. My point is that I agree. Be honest about what you think is attractive.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (7 children)

It's not a good idea, period.

I don't like obese people and I'm not afraid to tell them or anyone that. Give me science if you want me to be more understanding about your fat movement, but until that day ever comes my views will not change. All I see is an extremely weak mind and that is the most unattractive thing to me whether you're a man or women.

The clients I've had that started severely over weight and are more stable now will happily tell you what a positive difference it has made in their life. I've gotten to be a part of their transformations and being put right there has made me see that this fat movement is really very sad and nothing else because I can't buy for a minute these people are genuinely 1000000% content and proud of their health after what I've seen from some clients I've had. Sure, this puts me at being closed minded since I purely go off of what I've studied for years and off of all clients I've ever had, but what do I know?

Society is a little slow. If they could view models for what they are, which is their JOB, then this wouldn't be as much of an issue I think. If there was actual education going on from childhood on proper nutrition then I think even more so this wouldn't be as much of an issue, but alas America..

[–]gabilromariz 1 point2 points  (6 children)

The clients I've had that started severely over weight and are more stable now

I'm curious, what do you do? Nutritionist, weightloss coach or something like that?

I'm completely agree with you on the model front. If it's their job to look like that, of course it'll be hard for other people, most of whom will have a job of their own, to look similar. Example: I saw on an interview once that VS models keep in shape by exercising something like 4 hours a day. Of course it's not realistic to think I'll ever look like that. I don't have the time (or don't want to) work out 4 hours a day. But that's no excuse to not work on my health

[–]LadyLumen[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I actually don't think models are conventionally attractive, but maybe that's just my opinion. Before the 1960's, models were basically what was considered a good looking woman. Someone who was curvy and sexy. But after the "Twiggy" ideal of the 1960's, a model became more of a coat hanger for the clothing, rather than someone who was just supposed to be good looking on their own. So the typical runway model is supposed to be tall, skinny and pale because this is what brings out the clothing most. Yet if you look at the kind of fantasy women who pose in front of cars, or motorcycles or are created in video games they look very different. They are more curvy, sometimes tan, and shorter than the average dude. So model doesn't always equal standard of attraction, it's more of their job to make the clothes look good.

[–]gabilromariz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are all sorts of models (lingerie, catalog, runway, fitness) but my point remains the same: it is their job to look a certain way, and they dedicate a lot of time and energy to look that certain way. Time and energy that "regular people" won't have, but that's no excuse to be unhealthy, even though it's a perfectly good justification for not being as thin or muscular or etc as a model

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fashion models cater more to what a female believes is an ideal image and the ones posing with cars eetc are more about what grabs masculine attention IMO.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

I'm a competitive lifter and I take on clients who compete to those who are actually serious about losing weight and body fat. I also go over their nutrition individually as of 2014.

Yes, you understand exactly what I mean. My job is very athletic and I don't expect the regular clients I have that have no interest in competing to train the same way I do etc I don't expect anyone in my life to do what I do because this is not only my hobby, but my JOB. What I do expect from those around me is to be educated within the nutritional department because there's just no excuse.

[–]gabilromariz -1 points0 points  (1 child)

The way I see it, there is no excuse to neglet yourself to that point. The information is out there, the help is out there (like r/loseit) etc. It's a hard road, for sure (I had to lose about 20lbs as a teen and it was very hard, I can't imagine having to lose 200) and everyone is different and so on, but I can't help but to look down on people who give up on themselves

[–]justgrif 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find that anytime people try to "challenge our definitions of beauty" my inclination to ignore them entirely is strong. Nobody who is actually attractive feels the need to do this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And this is why Fat Acceptance movement doesn't work the way the proponents wish - most people don't like to be fat, even fat proponents themselves. The best that they can hope for is "being okay with it" on the inside.

[–]drugdoctor87 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Obesity is just one way a person's"lack of control" can manifest. They cannot control their caloric intake to match their caloric use.

There are other facets of control and self-discipline that can also manifest in non-obese people. For example, lack of control over delayed gratification. Aka being lazy. People play video games compulsively instead of being productive because video games make me happy NOW and they don't want to be productive even tho they know it needs to be done. This can manifest as poor grades, sloppy home, no job, no social life, etc.

All this really comes down to is on the big spectrum of humans, there are some of us that walk the walk instead of talk the talk. Idk, I've been cutting the toxic people out of my life b/c their lack of control is too annoying. Bleh.

[–]LadyLumen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obesity is just one way a person's"lack of control" can manifest. They cannot control their caloric intake to match their caloric use.

Definitely. Losing weight is all about counting the calories. In fact, someone recently proved that it doesn't matter what you eat, all that matters is the calories. This guy basically ate nothing but crappy convenience store food for a month and still lost weight because he was counting calories.

One time I made it a goal to lose 5 lbs. I calculated how many calories I would have to eat a day to lose 1 lb a week. I stuck to the formula. I even got to eat junk food, all I had to do was just add up the numbers and cut myself off at a certain point. Low and behold, 5 weeks later the 5 lbs were gone.

[–]mrp3anut 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Body image as it is discussed in the mainstream world today has nothing to do with any real problem. It is a bunch of fat/lazy women and manginas that want the guy with rock solid abs or the cheerleader to date them.

The non fat people that support it are just looking for social justice points. so much of our world has become about making every person that has any hardship in their life feel like it inst their fault and that they are super special for being a failure at whatever facet of life is related to the SJW campaign.

our culture does not hold impossible standards for beauty. What you see in high fashion are women who are built in such a way to photograph well and accentuate the clothing itself. Very few everyday men actually hold women to anything near that standard.

Just a note to the ladies here if you are 15lbs overweight by clinical standards you aren't in terrible shape. It is something you should focus on improving but there will still be plenty of men that are attracted to you, especially if your frame carries it well. the flip side of that is you should be trying to improve yourself wherever possible and weight is one of the easiest things you can control about how you look.

[–]LadyLumen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The non fat people that support it are just looking for social justice points. so much of our world has become about making every person that has any hardship in their life feel like it inst their fault and that they are super special for being a failure at whatever facet of life is related to the SJW campaign.

Definitely. It's all about the SJW points. Many of the people I know who say things like "black women are so hot," have dated and slept with only white people. Sure, there are black women out there I think are pretty, but I feel like these people are hypocrites who just wanna be like "hey look at me! Look at all the SJW points I'm earning!" Same goes with people who pretend to be attracted to fat or old chicks.

our culture does not hold impossible standards for beauty. What you see in high fashion are women who are built in such a way to photograph well and accentuate the clothing itself. Very few everyday men actually hold women to anything near that standard.

That's true. I think men have two separate standards. One for models and actresses, and then one for the rest of us mortals. While a guy may call a famous person like Jessica Simpson ugly for whatever reason, in real life this guy would probably be willing to sleep with or date any woman who is a fourth as good looking as she is.

As a woman, the standards are pretty low. Be 30 pounds within your age group's average weight. Shave your arm pits and legs. Wear make up...sometimes. Done.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is the RPW sub, we're already aware of everything you just said.

[–]mrp3anut -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Does OP know? I'm assumed from the question she didn't.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The OP was expressing confusion about a friend's hypocrisy and her overall frustration with certain things. She herself is not in a 'lazy' frame of mind and she understands the purpose of being active and healthy. Her post was a vent/rant. She just wants people to be honest about what they find attractive. She doesn't think it should be controversial to say "I am attra Ted to x and not y."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Most people are attracted to healthy people at a healthy weight. Why is it controversial to admit that?

I could never understand that honestly. You are being shamed for liking something, having a preference. The thing is, is that it's not even a choice, men prefer skinny women biologically. It's not conscious decision (for the most part).

[–]LadyLumen[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't think it's so much that they prefer skinny women, I think it's that they prefer healthy women. Today, since we live in a society where most of the people are fat and dying of heart disease, skinny by definition is healthy in comparison. Yet throughout most of history when people were starving, and most people were skin and bone, women who were a little on the plump side were prefered. (historically plump women would still be skinny by modern day standards.)

For instance, if you took a "skinny" American woman and compared her to the average person in Zimbabwe, they would either be considered plump or average.

Our "skinny" is the world's normal.

It's not that skinnyness is a preference, it's that not being fucking fat is a preference.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, I was just a little too specific. Generally healthy = not a land whale so "skinny" is the term that's generally thrown around.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I don't agree with the FAM because I can be hyper critical of myself. Acceptance is supposed to precede change, but far too often it prevents it. Seeing as change is the whole true constant in the universe, stuff like FAM makes me feel like the human race is stagnating and no longer feels like improving ourselves is important.

I don't believe in lying to people (unless absolutely, completely necessary) and that's what I feel the FAM does. Feelings have overridden facts, and that concerns me.

[–]orangekayla 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't care what they say being fat is not healthy. Men are naturally attracted to healthy (not fat) women, it's basic evolution. Strong men want strong women.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any single pound you're overweight is a pound too much. Also, people deserve to be shamed for lacking discipline.

[–]ColdEiric 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is his male version of shit-testing. He promotes this, because he wants to know which women he ought to talk to, which women are smart enough to not listen to this bullshit.

Compare this with everything feminists themselves talk about, and what feminists expect of their boyfriends/lays.

How many women talk publicly about how men ought to stop being beta, and start doing what alphas do? Very few, isn't it? So is it really that surprising that he does what he does?

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bingo

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I've recently seen articles about a very fat size 22 model who started some sort of eff your standards of beauty movement.

I honestly find it disgusting, i don't mind curvy, I can get behind curvy but obese... like plainly ridiculously fat people - I'm sorry but that's not OK. I don't idealise anorexia, neither will I ever idealise obesity. If that's what we're teaching our little girls in this day and age then frankly I'm glad I'm currently childless.

[–]LadyLumen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These days people think "curvy" can mean 300lbs. No and just no. Curvy is like being maybe 150lb, when 130lb is your BMI average. Not fucking 300lbs.

[–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I read FPH and I saw over there that "model" has now been signed with some company. They posted screen shots of some of the comments and thankfully there were people who didn't understand it because she looks unhealthy, not healthy.

[–]kuriosity_kat 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That new show on TLC, "My Big Fat Fabulous Life" makes me nauseous. Even though she says she's trying to lose weight, what's her real motivation now that she's being glorified on TV for being 380 pounds? If she slims down, she won't get to have her own awful TV show!

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She has PCOS which apparently is the ultimate barrier to weight loss. But I'm sure she hasn't tried every trick in the book just yet.

[–]kuriosity_kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sure. Like I said though, I hate how being large is enough to get your own TV show. How is that helping? If you get to be a reality star for being over 300 pounds, why bother trying to be healthy? If she loses the weight, she loses her TLC meal ticket.

[–]Bortasz 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Just one thing.

Women and Fashion industry hold women to impossible standards of skinny.

Reddit curvy have 95 000 subscribers. More check there regularly but are not subscribe do to privacy.

Reddit Petite 12 00 Subscribers.

Busty Petite 162 000 subscribers.

If any men like big breasts. Do not put on to us(straight Guys), what Fashion industry run by women and feminize gays, tell you what we want.

This is BBW: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/244/3/3/mel_b_bbw_by_incredibleb-d5d9dll.jpg

This is... For god sake why? http://www.rule4080.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/black-bbw-swimsuit-333x500.jpg

HA! I found it. On men site: http://gentlemanredux.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Female-Body-Types_LARGE.jpg
First 2/3 and last 4 are not attractive. The women in the middle ARE attractive.

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

90% of Men will take 7th from the right to the 6th on the left. Just one or two off from the "Most instinctively desired" category.

[–]LadyLumen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not put on to us(straight Guys), what Fashion industry run by women and feminize gays, tell you what we want.

Definitely. Men talk about actresses and pop stars, not models. Why? Because models aren't attractive to straight men. Many models, being so tall, lacking any curves and having hard faces with bold features look almost like men themselves.