As you all know, our culture is in a state of denial about women's bodies and the reality of childbearing age. It teaches women to "have it all," and to completely ignore the reality of when to start seeking a spouse, if they so desire a husband and kids. Articles exist with interviews of women in their 40s who had no idea it would be harder to conceive than at 25. They were also taught that only a man with no flaws is acceptable, so many kept dropping very decent guys. Later they mourned being alone. I don't totally fault them, since we were all brainwashed to an extent.
Having an awareness of these realities is advantageous. Any woman who bears aging in mind has an edge.
Still, I see a lot of fearful posts about "the Wall" on here. Girls who are 21 who read a lot of angry trp posts written by men who for now only seek one night stands, and then decide it's all a decline from here on out. Cue angst and panic.
When I see this I can't help but think that their thinking is far too rigid.
We all know the stereotype of the desperate over 30 woman who tries to force relationships for fear of her "biological clock" running out. This is not attractive or a healthy frame of mind.
I've never liked the term the Wall, I think it' misses the mark. It's a modernized catchphrase for an idea people have known for millennia, but the truth is for most women it's a gradual thing, and a wall image presents something you suddenly smack into after being at peak previously. Unless you destroy your body with alcohol and food and drugs and tanning, that's unusual.
Anyway to get to the point. It's counterproductive to angst and despair about these changes. If you're from the US you are bombarded with media telling you to stay young. But a woman of a certain age trying too hard to act 19 is embarrassing herself.
The best strategy is to be aware of the realities of nature, and use that to your advantage. But don't mentally decide to give up. That's how women end up cutting off all their hair and wearing pajamas outside. (I don't mean to insult women who truly do that with 100% of their free will; this is about women who don't want to stop being feminine but feel there is no other choice. I'm also not referring to your grandmother who looks elegant with short hair.)
Once you mentally give up it's hard to fight.
The choices are to age gracefully or to struggle. To be desperate, or a "femme d'un certain age" who has attractive wisdom and is old enough to wear jewelry and perfume and clothes she wasn't distinguished enough to wear before. Who doesn't try to mimic the personality of a teenage, but exploits what maturity and life lessons are helpful.
Would love to hear some discussion on how to navigate this, avoiding the extremes of denial or despair. I don't want to see anymore women giving up hope.