I have given up the hope of finding a boyfriend and lm starting to care less about it. However, I just don't want to be looked at badly on the streets by people or be bullied or disrespected in general by the public and my peers.
I am 23 years old and slim but I look young for my age, maybe about 16 random people usually ask if I'm in school or tell me "is there no school today" on the weekdays. I have small facial features but they don't fit together well and are not symmetric. I have big and thick black eyebrows which I get done regularly. I think its helps a tiny bit and I still don't like them much and wish they were a different shape and length. I feel they overpower my face at times if they get too thick. I have a small/weak chin and jaw, narrowish face shape, pale skin, some acne at times, dark circles, don't have high cheekbones, dry and frizzy dark curly hair that is thick and very hard to manage. I usually have to put it up.
I get mixed reactions on my appearance. I had a small amount of people call me pretty and cute. but I had a lot more people call me ugly. I been told I'm hiding my potential by my cousin and that I had a "pretty face" I just needed to let it out and when she did another hairstyle on me she was like "see" I still think I looked disgusting.
I try to straighten my hair or control my curls, do my eyebrows, put on some makeup, and dress ok. I do get treated a little better but I still encounter people who look at me weird and still rude to me. I still have guys out on the street give me dirty looks and act hostile to me. Girls can be a bit friendlier or meaner depending. It really just hurts me. I wish I could not care how people react to my face. But I cant help it. Every bad look and treatment I get chips at my self esteem and pushes me to stay at home more and go out less.
I hate being an undesirable female to my very core and there is not much I can do. I just feel like a laughing stock when I go outside. I have to wear sunglasses and a hat to cover myself so I can avoid any potential bad stares or name calling. I don't have money for plastic surgery, I would love to have. Do you have any tips on how to stay strong and cope as an unattractive female? how to not let the discrimination and the harsher side of this life get to me?
Do you think if I just expose myself more to it, I get used to it and less hurt?