Tl;Dr: I get treated very differently to the girls who are louder and more standoffish, who make less of a general effort to be respectful to others. (I never raise my voice and never use personal insults, I have a lot of patience: I was raised that way.) The only explanation that I can think of is that I'm more feminine and ...demure isn't the right word but it is the only one I can think of. What is this mind trick wizardry?! Can you tell me more about it?
Hello ladies! A while ago, I discovered the red pill subreddit by accident. I did a bit of reading on the various subreddits and looked at some of the linked websites. It was interesting to see a perspective that advocated femininity as powerful (I have had a traditional upbringing and find myself being shouted down for my own good by feminists for my views a lot).
I recall reading a post by a man who was describing his and his wife's journey into a red pill take on their marriage. (Details might be a bit wrong, this was probably almost a year ago.) He mentioned that he had discovered that while he was trying to assume a role of leadership and taking on the task of self improvement, his wife was making a reciprocal effort, but he one day discovered a forum that she frequented which had 'tips' including one that he recognised that she had employed during an argument. The forum had suggested sitting on the floor at his feet (as he sat on a sofa or something) during an argument to reduce his feelings of hostility and make him feel protective.
I didn't give it much thought, other than that it made sense, from the point of view of the ingrained desire to protect and not attack someone vulnerable. This was until recently, when my mind was blown.
I was holidaying with a group of friends, and one in particular is what I suppose you would call 'alpha'. He is confident, a natural leader, intelligent, and for what it is worth mentioning, very into his fitness. He was (rightly) annoyed about other things that had happened that day, and was having a bit of a heated disagreement with another girl in our group. She was being standoffish for the sake of her pride and he was overreacting because he was already annoyed.
I was quite tired and just wanted to drink my mulled wine by the fire, so I sat down, leaning on his chair and tried to stay out of it, but almost immediately he lowered his tone of voice (he had been shouting at this point), put his hand in my hair (he's quite physically affectionate, and I'm the little one of the group so I get petted and cuddled a lot... it sounds weird to say out loud, but it isn't weird) and just generally calmed down, stopped the argument, and after the other girl had left, apologized to me for shouting and losing his temper. The next morning he apologized again for losing his cool and told me that he had felt bad being so aggressive in front of me. I questioned him a little bit and he said that he felt that he should be 'gentle with me because I'm so sweet and small'.
After that I thought backwards, and this has happened before too.I started to notice that of the men in our group (We're all in our early 20s) people treat me very differently to certain other women, particularly these men. They don't swear in front of me, are generally more 'gentle' and go out of their way for me without me asking, which they also do for the other more traditional girls of our group. They are quite protective over me in particular: I'm petite in stature but by no means incapable or incompetent, as they well know.
What's up with this? The bit that is standing out to me is that this was advice given on a forum somewhere. It sounds in the same grain of the relationship advice that my grandmother gives me: agreeable women use their femininity to the advantage of their relationships. Where can I read more about it? (My mother bought me the book 'The Fascinating Girl' a long time ago but I got bored of it because I was too young to find it relevant. I think I will dig it up...) It's very interesting to me how different types of men treat different types of women completely differently, especially when put in the context of past relationships...
Thank you for reading all of this text and bearing with me!