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Red Pill TheoryLetting women misbehave (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 3CainPrice

Summary: Most women are not girlfriend or wife material. Expecting them to behave like they are and attempting to enforce boundaries is needless stress when you could just be enjoying some decent sex.


Fairly frequently, Red Pill readers will post questions about a particular woman’s behavior. Most of the time, the woman in question is not the guy’s girlfriend, but just some girl he knows and would like to date or have sex with, or in some cases, just some girl he’s having casual sex with. The woman is behaving in a way that upsets the guy. She’s talking with other men. Possibly having sex with other men. She talks about other men around him. She’s glued to her phone instead of giving all of her attention to him. Ultimately, she’s just not very respectful of him.

The comments chime in, declaring that he should next the bitch, put his foot down, and never tolerate disrespect. And you know what? If this woman were his wife or his serious girlfriend, they would be right. But she’s not. She’s just some plate he’s fucking, or just some girl he’s friends with and wants to fuck. She’s not his girlfriend. She’s not his wife.

Too many men expect a woman to behave like a good girlfriend when she’s not a girlfriend. They’ve been told that if you are attractive enough and behave the right way, women are supposed to want a relationship with you at all costs. Then when some girl a guy is having casual sex with spends her spare time chatting with other guys instead of behaving herself to try to win a relationship out of him, he’s upset. Why is this plate “disrespecting” him, the guy thinks.

The fact is, the overwhelming majority of women in the world are not girlfriend or wife material. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you can’t like a woman, enjoy sex with her, enjoy her company, and have a good time. And if she’s fucking other guys, so what? You’re fucking other women, right? And if she’s talking to other guys to try to find a boyfriend, that’s not your problem. And if she’s on her phone and not being fun to be around, you have other shit you can be doing anyway, right?

It’s okay for a woman to not be girlfriend material. In fact, when a woman behaves in a way that tells you she is not, she is doing you a favor. Now you know where she stands with you and where you stand with her. You can continue to enjoy sex with her and enjoy her company without the added pressure of trying to screen her for girlfriend qualities. And she can enjoy sex with you and your company without the added pressure of having to behave a certain way to meet your expectations.

In fact, when you stop putting the pressure to behave a certain way on a woman and just let go of judgment, boundaries, and pride, and stop getting all bent out of shape over what she’s not offering, it’s just plain easier to enjoy her for what she is offering: decent sex and decent company. It’s better for her, too, when she can let go, be herself, and not worry about some guy she’s fucking being judgmental and getting his panties in a wad over something stupid because he secretly wants a relationship with her.

If a woman wants a relationship with you, she’ll act like it. Women know how to be good girlfriends. Women know that good girlfriends don’t get dinner with their ex-boyfriends, stay late after work drinking one-on-one with a male coworker, or entertain probes for availability from a dozen different guys in their phone while they sit on your couch. If a woman is doing this, this isn’t due to your failure to set ground rules and enforce boundaries. This isn’t due to her “disrespecting” you. This is happening simply because she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, so she’s not acting in a way to try to win you over. She’s content with where things are now, whether that’s casual sex, friendship, or something else. If she wanted more, she’d act differently.

It’s okay if a woman doesn’t want to be your girlfriend. And it’s okay if she’s not girlfriend material. A man doesn’t have to judge her for that or get angry about it. He can just enjoy the sex. Enjoy the companionship. Even enjoy the friendship if he wants.

Expecting women to behave like good girlfriends when the overwhelming majority of women are simply not girlfriend material is a recipe for disappointment. Better to let women behave however they’re going to behave and see where the chips fall. Why deal with the stress of trying to set boundaries to control behavior? When women are given the space to be themselves, even if being themselves means not behaving like a good girlfriend, they can bring a lot to the table. Somethings things that surprise and delight us.


[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 97 points98 points  (7 children)

Wonderful expectation management. Can't remember if it was PFP by James franco, or something older in the PUA. The idea of signalling short term or long term behaviours needs to be congruent with what you want, otherwise women get mixed messages.

If you want or have a fucktoy, stop worrying about her cooking skills.

[–]harbinger1945 26 points27 points  (2 children)

If you want or have a fucktoy, stop worrying about her cooking skills.

I am laughing right now, because you said what I want from women, something I couldn't put in words for like last month.

I mean what do you even expect from women. I think that kind of question should be answered before you even go out and then set a goal to achieve with girls.

Some people want pussy, some people want good company, some people want their fucking mummy.

What I mean, is that every single man will want something different, in my case I really don't care about sex. Not anymore I had my share in like last 2 years and I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal society makes it(I mean maybe I am shitty in bed or maybe girls I fucked in last 2 years sucked), but I would change good company for amazing sex everyday. The difference where you understand each other..on some kind of different level is just different in every aspect(and no I am not talking just about sexual attraction -- that shit goes away really fast anyway if you fuck up), I am talking about some kind of connection. You have something in common, maybe you understand each other in multiple areas(and no for fucks sake I am not talking about unicorn as those things don't exist). It's just another level of compatibility that came into your senses.

But you know what is the difference between a guy who knows about redpill(either naturally or by TRP -- btw thanks fucking god guys) ? That you really don't care about this shit anymore. When it happens it's nice. But it no longer defines who you are, what you think. And it will certainly not affect your money.

[–]FinancierGuru[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You got to understand, BPs always look for a LTR "relationship" with a woman.

That's how the blue pilled brain works.

Ask yourself: Are you that guy?

[–]standardmissile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree these are nice sentiments to have and good things to look for. It won't stop her from pining for a proper dicking by a chad though, and you need to keep that in mind when you're connecting deeply with a girl in multiple areas.

Best course is to be proficient at fucking while seeking that connection, if an LTR is your aim.

And then remember, it's just your turn.

[–]punchyson 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I accidentally lived this with a few women. The ones I treated like serious girlfriends from the beginning were serious girlfriends from the beginning. The fun but not serious girls stayed that way.

It's some interesting shit to think about with perspective.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A woman will take the shape of her container. I heard that somewhere.

[–]Fulp_Piction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can change though, but I think there's a window for how long you can easily inspire that kind of 'I wanna be your girlfriend' work rate without taking a break for a while.

[–]harsha_hs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By not giving her pressure is the only way you can open her up for sex

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 48 points49 points  (19 children)

Very good post.

Remember that plating works both ways. If you're having "casual sex" with her, she's having "casual sex" with you. That's the point of having a plate in the first place. If you want a plate behaving like an LTR, you don't want a plate - you want an LTR, which means you are still in the scarcity/BP land.

You THINK you want a plate, but your emotions tell you you want an LTR. This means there's work to be done, especially in the department of inner game: watch out for signs of oneitis, it's often connected to one specific plate, not all of them ("out of 3 plates, she's the coolest, hottest etc." - then you begin to project your own bias from comparing her to the other 2 plates, it's almost like a feedback loop).

[–]3CainPrice[S] 40 points41 points  (11 children)

This is very common among guys who used to struggle for sex. Once they're finally having casual sex, their instincts still tell them to lock that girl down. They still approach sex like a famine-ridden stray dog who doesn't know when his next meal is coming.

Even though they're fine now. Even though they can get sex now. When a casual partner isn't behaving like a girlfriend, they fear she's slipping away and want to quickly jump in and control her, when that's often the very behavior that drives her away.

Sometimes, we even see posts where a guy asks "How do I tell this plate she's just a plate and I don't want a relationship", when the girl hasn't even brought the topic up. She's not the one who wants a relationship. He is. And he's hoping that by bringing up the "we're not a relationship" topic himself, she'll say that she wants a relationship and he can let her "convince" him.

Or worse, some guys like that are used to being rejected their entire lives, and they crave the validation of girls wanting relationships with them, and the power of being able to say no. That's not a very good look. If you're having casual sex with lots of women and still need to pull shit like that, then it's not about meeting your sexual needs at all. It's about having power over women, just for fun. That's not healthy.

[–]Zech4riah 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Sometimes, we even see posts where a guy asks "How do I tell this plate she's just a plate and I don't want a relationship", when the girl hasn't even brought the topic up. She's not the one who wants a relationship. He is. And he's hoping that by bringing up the "we're not a relationship" topic himself, she'll say that she wants a relationship and he can let her "convince" him.

Or worse, some guys like that are used to being rejected their entire lives, and they crave the validation of girls wanting relationships with them, and the power of being able to say no. That's not a very good look. If you're having casual sex with lots of women and still need to pull shit like that, then it's not about meeting your sexual needs at all. It's about having power over women, just for fun. That's not healthy.

Well written, I bet most of the guys feel this way when they find TRP and game and in the first time in their lives get some success with girls. Ego inflates and then they want to feel the power to control women like they had controlled them all their lives.

In small amounts "exercising this power" is ok and that's what people do altho genuinely high value people really don't need to do this (to soothe their bitterness). It becomes a unhealthy and a problem when it starts to be borderline narcissim/psychopathy.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I speak about that one from experience, actually. I had that problem when I first found my current girlfriend.

I had exited a bad relationship and started going out, as well as online dating. And it turns out that all of this Red Pill stuff works great with women who don't already think you're a shitty loser. I had more dates than I had time with women who genuinely seemed to want to spend time with me. It was empowering after where I'd come from.

Here I was, dating this girl, having sex every time we got together, and really enjoying her. I liked her. She liked me. And in addition to the amazing sex, she was really good to me in other ways. A decent girl. As time went on, we were having a lot of sex. Really, I was satisfied. I couldn't handle much more sex. But I wouldn't make a girlfriend out of her. I kept telling her I wasn't looking for that and kept going on dates with women who weren't nearly as fun and weren't nearly as good to me.

Eventually, I stopped and asked myself what I was really looking for. I'm in my late 30s with a lot of shit going on in my life and a lot of responsibilities. I really don't need or have time for a revolving door of women from the internet. Here I am getting all the sex I can handle from one woman who's honestly really good to me. What do I need more women for? It wasn't for sex. I was getting that. It wasn't for good treatment. I was getting that. It was for power. I wanted the power to non-exclusively date and fuck lots of women and tell them all no.

That's not a good look. I have the same power whether I'm using it to string women along or not. If shit goes bad with my current woman, I'll just move on. Flexing my muscle and having power over women just to feel good about myself is a little sick.

[–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see where you are coming from because I think I've had that kind of thoughts as well but I'd say there is a fine line between abusing this "power" and genuinely wanting to be abundant with women. Usually you need more than one women to be outcome independent.

Anyway, this must be as close as a man can get to the feeling or desire that women have to control men with their vaginas.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"How do I tell this plate she's just a plate and I don't want a relationship"

You don't until she brings it up, you're 100% spot on.

they crave the validation of girls wanting relationships with them, and the power of being able to say no. That's not a very good look.

Revenge fantasy loses it's taste afer a while.

It's about having power over women, just for fun. That's not healthy.

Yes, it is, b/c it stifles your own growth. Getting bitter instead of getting bigger.

[–]rosbergsessa420 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Reply

This hit home. I used to be the typical nice guy BP, borderline creepy sometimes, due to extremely BP parenting in the field of sex. Not particulary "ugly" but just not very tall, strong, or any of the features girls buy, and therefore not the best player either. Then my DJ hobby became my job and lifestye due to some smart decisions (and good skills), began to tour and explore the game - I can't say I became the ultimate alpha because I still didn't have it extremely easy, but I started to smash. And with every girl came an irrational attachment as I was supposed to lock her in and be together until the end.

You might probably guess why I didn't get to fuck them more than one or two times - I've said and done the most needy, clingy, BP stuff you may expect, fucked up love demonstrations as if these women owed me something, you name it. Exactly as you said, you may be getting sex now, but the scarcity mindset is still there because you dont have it naturally easy and you know it. I eventually got into a LTR with one of them, obviously everything was perfect at first, and 5 months later it was vanishing, eventually she broke it up and was fucking a Chad type after two weeks (at an official level. she was definitely fucking him before though). That's when I got redpilled for real. I only see sex like a disposable pleasure now, and couldn't care less about the emotional side of it all.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

as if these women owed me something

I had the reverse: as if I owed them something (in my mind" commitment or the option of it). From where I sit now, I'm mind-boggled that I could have felt like that, let alone to think it's natural to feel and behave like that.

but the scarcity mindset is still there because you dont have it naturally easy and you know it

There are 2 steps you can do to counter this: one is getting more women, funny enough - the second step is the same. First, getting more women in your life, physically, takes your time and attention from scarcity mode into management mode. You can't be spontaneous if you don't have the time, to find the time, you have to manage it. As that point, women stop being a priority b/c if you have 2 days a week to spend on your mission or on women, you WILL choose mission first.

Secondly, the mental proces of scarcity is similar to jealousy. You imagine, you feel, that there's a finite amount of something. This leads you to thinking that if someone else takes a part of it, there ill not be enough for you left. B/c of that you behave irrationally and that irrational fear of this "something" running out creates a feedback loop in your mind and that feedback loop is the scarcity mentality even more important than actual scarcity is.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once they're finally having casual sex, their instincts still tell them to lock that girl down

That was me, 100% in the 1980s. Got a yuge notch count, but little repeat business, and I know it wasn't because of dicking issues - it was because I was needy. I wanted a gf badly. I hated going out to smoky bars, consequently all the ones I wanted got scared away, and the ones that were clearly not gf material (IMO) pestered me constantly. I succumbed a few times until one of them got pregnant (really or not, idk) and I left the scene. Promptly met my ex-wife at work. (Was still needy, hence the "ex" part)

[–]Acenike43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very accurate. Sums up my situation at the moment. I was pretty BP and just recently have I started to have casual sex with someone. We’ve been hooking up a few times a week for the past month or so. I’ve done my best to make sure that I keep going with my other plates and not to get Oneitis over this girl I’ve been having casual sex with.

However when I hear stuff like she’s been hanging out with another guy or went out with her ex I still get weird feelings of jealousy. Which is stupid, I know it’s “just my turn” and that I shouldn’t be caring about that but it’s almost as if it’s hard wired into me because I’m so use to it when I do find a girl who’s actually into me.

The good thing is I’m not jumping in and trying to control her. If she wants to go and hook up with other dudes then so be it. Go ahead. I’m hooking up with other girls so there shouldn’t be a problem. If it was a LTR then it’s another story.

It’s not really a scarcity or abundance issue. So how do I make those feelings of “jealousy” disappear when I hear that she’s been with another guy?

[–]PredatorLeet 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Last paragraph. Why is it not healthy? Whats wrong with having that power?

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's not about power, b/c there's nothing wrong with that. It's about how you choose to use it, it's about your mentality while you use it. In my case it was about deliberately dangling a carrot in front of them just to say "no, you won't get it". The motivation was to spite them. Every time you do something out of spite - you're doing it b/c your ego got bruised in the past and you STILL hold grudge, which means you haven't moved on and they still hold power over you. In the context of TRP it's 9/10 possibility that it was your own fault that you got bruised. IOW: you are simultaneously exercising your vanity, your ego; you're strengthening your internal process of how you can be bruised; and finally you're projecting blame onto outside source instead taking responsibility for getting bruised.

[–]Kenny_Twenty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is fucking insightful.

Thanks.

[–]womans_algorithm 4 points5 points  (4 children)

There is nothing wrong/BP about wanting a LTR. What is wrong is having BP mindset about LTR (because it's unrealistic). What is also wrong is TRP (not saying you, but it's a general premise here) telling guys that what they want is plates. First, telling anyone here what they actually want is not the point of TRP, second, if TRP does this, guys soon meet the...

You THINK you want a plate, but your emotions tell you you want a LTR.

...stage, where they are operating under 2 "mindsets" - TRP's 'women are plates' and they own 'wanting a LTR'. We come full circle to OP's post about guys expectations of their plates/female friends.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 1 point2 points  (3 children)

There is nothing wrong/BP about wanting a LTR.

Debatable, but I don't want to debate it in that conext too much, something else showed up:

What I meant is not that "wanting LTR is BP", it's THINKING you want plates but still operating with jealously/exclusivity mentality while getting plates. It means you're not in abundance, you wouldn't care about exclusivity if you WERE ("im not going to come, im going to meet john tonight" - and you have ZERO emotional reaction to that) in abundance. It means you didn't let go of the gf-dream, you just replaced your former you-beta oneitis, with better you-alpha oneitis. "I know that when I was a BP I had oneitis for Katie. But now I read sidebar, I increased my SMV so now I CAN have (the feeling of "deserving" or "arriving at destination alpha") oneitis for Annie" - often followed by hamstering that - "it's not oneitis, i just want a gf, there's nothing bad in wanting a gf" (and that would be correct, nothing morally "bad", but sexual strategy is amoral and you just fell into female sexual strategy by WANTING to offer commitment, only b/c you FEEL you want a gf).

[–]womans_algorithm 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I see your point, but I think it's a bit of a strawman argument and that it doesn't really resonate with me, maybe because I never felt/thought what you just described.

...it's THINKING you want plates but still operating with jealously/exclusivity mentality while getting plates.

What I described as well, new RP men operating under 2 mindsets. Where we differ is reasoning for it. I said it's because of their contradicting wants, you said it's because they don't have abundance mentality and are therefore emotionally reactive to "their" girls. I don't necessarily disagree with your reasoning (because there are men who are thinking like you described in examples), but they are certainly not the only type of men, and only focusing on them makes it look like there are no other types. For instance, there are men who get more satisfaction from LTRs than from plates. Nothing wrong, with that, doesn't mean they don't have abundance mentality. You may say these guys are in minority, but I say it's biology at play - r/K selection. Some spread their seed far and wide (plates), some like to nurture their offspring (LTR).

...and you just fell into female sexual strategy by WANTING to offer commitment, only b/c you FEEL you want a gf.

We also feel we want sex, and emotional fulfillment, and food, and shelter, and ... . We always give something, to get something. To plates, you give your time and get sex, to girlfriends you give your time and commitment (not counting open LTR) and get sex and emotional fulfillment (at least in theory, let's not debate the current western situation on this). If the girl is right, a lot of men will want to offer commitment to her in exchange for her eggs, so to say.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

but they are certainly not the only type of men, and only focusing on them makes it look like there are no other types

This makes sense as a general rule too.

[–]TheRoad15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really enjoying your guys' discussion here. I didn't think I was one for a relationship but as I was in plate mode, I found myself gravitating towards one that is LTR material. As mentioned, there is no right or wrong way to do things and TRP is all about achieving success in whatever matters to us. I don't feel like I'm in some BP loop and I'm trying to be the man (still learning and only been lurking here a few months). But it's nice to see comments like this as it reminds me and makes me more aware. I'm totally fine if this relationship doesn't last because I'm not googoogaga over this girl like I would be in the past. Just enjoying steering the ship and having a first mate on deck.

[–]Fulp_Piction 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Been there. Whats the next step from this?

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I cut contact, as it solves the "inner game problem", besides solving oneitis. For me that was the only logical solution as indulging her would mean indulging the oneitis. IOW, do the simplest thing: go fuck ten other women.

In the inner game (regardless whether you next or not): take a sheet of paper and list reasons why you think she's "the best". Once you list them, go through each one and notice that NONE of the qualities you listed are unique to her, it's just your projection of what YOU think/feel you want or like and you project them on hot girl and that projection makes it real, not her. IOW: if she wasn't "that hot" (or if sex wasn't "that good") would you keep her?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 61 points62 points  (9 children)

I am reporting this post immediately for lack of misogyny. As the sidebar says, this community is dedicated to highly offensive content. Please stay on topic.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 11 points12 points  (8 children)

I am reporting this post immediately for lack of misogyny.

I'm right behind you. There should have been a lot more of this:

There's general "not girlfriend material", then there's "being too annoying and stupid to bother putting up with".

And to that I will add: when you have enough experience with women, you will be able to quickly identify the ones that you might have once fucked when you were completely pissed but then, immediately after your orgasm (certainly don't concern yourself with hers) you have only one thought, and that is that you wish she would vanish.

You will be able to avoid these women, and you will look back and laugh at your younger self and the disgusting dumpster diving he did.

[–]Self-honest 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I recently fucked the hottest girl I have fucked in a while. Bordering in the 9 territory. I know her pretty well and I know her flaws. Old me would have fallen instantly in love with her. But I'm too in love with myself now to go down that road.

I came like a monster and then immediately got up and walked outside for some fresh air and found myself flipping through Tinder.

She has been messaging me about how she's going to come over and "take advantage of me" soon. "If I'll let her."

[–]3whatsthisgarg 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Old me would have fallen instantly in love with her. But I'm too in love with myself now

That is excellent. What a great place for you to be.

This is very much the other side of the coin to my point. Tails: a man will get to a point where he will avoid going below his standards for the lay. Heads: a man will be able to eventually see the 9 for what she is, which is: actually not that special.

I see super hot women all the time, and my split-second initial reaction is always the same: oh my god I can't let that one get away. Like fucking Warren Beatty or something (the guy would hop out of moving cars to approach a woman on the sidewalk).

But like I said, that's my split-second reaction, all based on my ancient inherited genes. Immediately after that, I see her for what she is: absolutely no outstanding features whatsoever, just simply not fat, and with a symmetrical face. That is it.

[–]Self-honest 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Man it's the best. She just got flakey. I could give a fuck less. Got two others on deck for the night. They're both non-responsive currently. Heading out to find some new ones. Don't care if I do.

Life is perfect.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man it's the best. She just got flakey. I could give a fuck less.

YES. No matter what we just did, no matter how good she thinks it was, no matter what she thinks I should do FOR HER now, I will quote you here:

I could give a fuck less.

She can give you an attitude, and you can give her the stink-eye and say "are you really talking to me like that? and you think what's going to happen?" LOL

Heading out to find some new ones. Don't care if I do. Life is perfect.

So good to hear. I just love to hear success stories, no matter how modest, because EVERYDAY LIFE should be so good.

Cheers

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 0 points1 point  (2 children)

immediately after your orgasm (certainly don't concern yourself with hers) you have only one thought, and that is that you wish she would vanish.

You will be able to avoid these women

I this more about you (inner game, mentality, beliefs and so on) or more about them (selecting the "right/wrong" women)? I had this with not-hot girls (not ugly, just not-the-hottest I could pull at the time, that was regret and disappointment in not keeping a word I gave myself, like you choose to diet, but you cheat), I had this with red-flagged girls ("now that i dont think with my dick anymore, your redflags make you unattractive" - the badgirl appeal, the sexual appeal of sluttiness), I get that with the hottest girls I can get ("see, I can pull a girl every man wants to have" - sex for sex? ego trip?). Cant's seem to figure out why it sometimes happen and sometimes it doesn't happen. I can see SOME patterns, but can't find the underlying principle and I don't think it's as simple as busting a nut (if that was the case, it would happen every time and it doesn't).

[–]3whatsthisgarg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cant's seem to figure out why it sometimes happen and sometimes it doesn't happen.

For me it's very simple, now that I'm not thinking with my dick as you said. Except the "red flags" are just physical characteristics that I can't get past.

I have hilarious memories of this stuff. Some top ten blow jobs from of these chicks. Weird-looking chick with a great personality, or a chubby chick with great tits, that kind of thing. These women could suck a golf ball through a Krazy Straw, but I just couldn't get hard again, and I certainly couldn't do it sober.

[–]3itiswr1tten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me there's 3 reasons to bag less than "hot" (where hot is proxy for various quality attributes). First - thrill of the charm. It's plain old pleasant when your game just works. That's not necessarily validation seeking, but it could be.

Second - disparity. She knows your SMV is higher and works harder, even if she just wants to get fucked. It's nice to relax and doesn't have ego consequences unless you pump yourself up for smashing some average.

Third - their life experiences usually make them more interesting to hang with. I've got one who would otherwise be totally disqualified; smoker, tattoos, DUI, etc. But she's just fucking fun to be around and has wild stories. Also phenomenal tits. Ultra hot girls just never had to grind and never worried about anything. Is this type masculine? Yeah, but I'm not gay so if I want a plate that can hang this archetype fits that desire.

The underlying point is that there is no underpinning - we're spontaneous creatures and if your whole life feels like work it's time to play more and think less

[–]riot2100 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I'm still young, and last week I did what you just defined: dumpster diving. Needless to say, she's ghosted and I'm not looking back.

[–]Patric_MasterBateman 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"If a woman wants a relationship with you, she’ll act like it. Women know how to be good girlfriends. Women know that good girlfriends don’t get dinner with their ex-boyfriends, stay late after work drinking one-on-one with a male coworker, or entertain probes for availability from a dozen different guys in their phone while they sit on your couch. If a woman is doing this, this isn’t due to your failure to set ground rules and enforce boundaries. This isn’t due to her “disrespecting” you. This is happening simply because she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, so she’s not acting in a way to try to win you over. She’s content with where things are now, whether that’s casual sex, friendship, or something else. If she wanted more, she’d act differently."

- This paragraph is the meat of the post. You know when some Women go fucking crazy and demand a relationship? Men freaking out about behaviour laid out in this post is the Male equivalent. Obviously don't let yourself be cucked and if a Woman is acting genuinely like a dumb bitch.. drop her, but that isn't what the OP is saying. Be cool, focus on lifting. Enjoy the decline, and enjoy TRP before those who declare what is hate speech of not shut it down.

[–]pm_me_your_pk 8 points9 points  (2 children)

The fact is, the overwhelming majority of women in the world are not girlfriend or wife material.

Honestly, so many guys miss this. Since they've only dated or plated garbage BPD thots then they see guys who are dating beautiful polite classy women, or guys like me who've been married for 15 years to a sexy respectful obedient wife and their brains get turned inside out.

99% of women are varying degrees of worthless. Do not try to turn a hoe into a housewife, hoes don't act right. Take the hoe to a hotel.

Also, it's not my fault you haven't met a high quality female (who wants to fuck you) yet. That's your problem, bucko.

[–]Starfuckingman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Care to share how did you pull a 15 year marriage? and keeping her obedient all the way? sounds unrealistic.

[–]pm_me_your_pk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well let me first say when I started out I didn’t have TRP and had no idea how to do this right. I yelled a lot, flipped out a lot. Ran shit by fear and intimidation, not a good recipe. Over time I figured it out.

  1. She was raised by her grandfather who was a good solid guy. Just a mountain of a man, big heart, strong, never said a cross word about anybody but everyone knew when he approved and didn’t. So she was conditioned to be around a good man. You cannot raise a woman. The most important thing you need to know about a potential wife is what man and what woman raised her and what are they truly like. Do you respect them, because if they don’t set a high bar she’s damaged goods.

  2. I found TRP.

2a. Women are like water, they take the shape of their container. You set the tone for 100% of the energy in the relationship. Lead by example.

2b. She will never be more than the most responsible teenager in the house. Get that through your thick skull and you’ll approach everything in the right way. Treat her like your teenage daughter (all sexual shit aside).

  1. Buy a fuck ton of socks, T-shirt’s and underwear so you never have to yell at your wife for getting behind on the laundry. In other words set yourself up for success. Don’t put her in situations where she’s going to fuck up. Women, even the best ones, are feeble stupid humans. In the Army we called this “employ your unit in accordance with its capabilities”

Frankly it all boils down to leadership. Jocko Wilinks “Extreme Ownership” is a pretty good primer on how to be a good husband. Hah.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Expecting women to behave like good girlfriends when the overwhelming majority of women are simply not girlfriend material is a recipe for disappointment.

That's not a reason to give up on your natural role as bitch herder.

I've just completed a guide on how to train women to be the servile manservants they evolved to be. As soon as the top links have had some exposure, I will post it.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Controlling women is a pretty high stress endeavor. I'd say it's better to just enjoy women for sex and focus on other things in our lives, instead of trying to train basic women to be better women.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Training women requires less effort than you might think.

The same process you use to seduce women is the process you use to make them obedient.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Looking forward to your post. Honestly, I'm old enough that I'm pretty content to just let women do their thing, without expectations. I've got enough going on that worrying about women not conforming doesn't really ping the radar, but if there are a few easy tweaks that make women a little less annoying without requiring more effort, that's always good.

[–]Winterknight82475125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please also post it on Trp.red Im actually reading through that site a lot more now.

[–]ChrimsonChin988 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RemindMe! 336 hours "BITCHHERDER"

[–]rawrlolrofl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please post it, I love your posts.

[–]TruthSeekaaaaa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think most men have the same issue I have. There's a gold post on how to manages bitches hero on TRP, where basically stated that ANY girl should start at a level 'plate' and she gotta climb the ranks. The error I commit is to autorank the girl as FWB or better if we just have casual sex. This is a recipe for disaster clearly because you assign a rank she doesn't deserve probably and you'll get disappointed, every single time. Obv she isn't her mistake, it's mine

[–]Quaternionz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great post. I highly agree. This is the attitude I have now with three different plates, and it's wonderful. If a plate snaps at me habitually or tries to go into bitchy controlling shrew mode then I'll drop her. But if being around her is fun then I don't try to fix her or groom her for an LTR.

My thought pattern is usually like this:

Oh, you had cake for dinner and you're drinking soda. Fine, I'll keep you around while you're still young and naturally thin, but as soon as you start getting fat we're done. So go ahead and wash down that cake with your soda, enjoy.

Oh, so you never work out, and you're not down when I suggest hanging out at the gym. That's fine, you're physically attractive enough now at 24, but when you start aging and getting flabby I'm done.

Oh, so you never finish meals and you're a picky eater. Or you're a vegetarian, or a vegan. That's fine, but I'm not having kids with someone who is malnourished. I still like spending time with you and having sex with you though. Eat how you want, I don't mind.

Oh, so you're 30 and you're still complaining about how horrible men are, and about how there aren't any good men around. You bailed on four decent loving relationships in your 20's because you have "high standards." That's fine, I'll listen to you vent and just nod along. We'll have some wine and have sex. You're still hot for 30. Enjoy dying alone with your cats and your high standards.

[–]nomsgplz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know man, I just simply lose attraction for a woman, when she mentions wanting to fuck other men along with me. Evolutionary it makes sense, you don't want to invest your energy and sperm on a woman that you think will be carrying someone else gene. This is the reason women hide their sexual encounters while men flaut about it. Women want genes of such man that is approved and vetted by other women, while men would choose such woman who is more likely to carry his genes.

I just instinctually lose attraction for a slut. Liberal kind of people would say that I am close minded or something, and I am judging too much. I am just following my instincts. I rather jack off then have sex that I don't enjoy.

[–]salinorum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lots of valuable posts on RP today. I think what you say has broader implications for life itself - in some situations, the more we wrestle with control, domination, and bending reality to our will, the greater we increase our chances of being punished when things unfold out of our favor. We create our own suffering by this means.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She’s talking with other men. Possibly having sex with other men. She talks about other men around him. She’s glued to her phone instead of giving all of her attention to him.

I think that men here tell "Next" not because of these reasons but because the girl is 1. Not showing enough interest, 2. Exaggerating her value and acting like she's a little princess (and so you might end up investing too much considering her REAL value), 3. Her wanting you to be her beta orbiter.

Ultimately, she’s just not very respectful of him.

I don't think that respect is the right word. Thinking that girls will only talk to you, sucking only your dick and so on is BluePill thinking. You can't expect that to happen. That's just hypergamy basics, and we need to accept that and do not let these behaviors upset us. (This is clearly more true for plates, but AWALT)

But I get what you mean.

Many guys (me included) when they get shit-tested hard they lose interest in the girl, that's probably what you are referring to. Honestly fucking a girl who treats you like shit is just a part of scarcity mindset. Again, guys here tell other guys to "next" so they start learning to be the prize and being able to walk away.

You can fuck her and just let go her shitty behavior (which could just be a shit-test), I guess that choice depends on each individual.

[–]TheJuiceCompany 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This is pure genius. Absolute gold.

I've had a similar experience... we both agreed to just be fuck buddies.

However, she then added an extra clause... and demanded we both be exclusive... i.e. no fucking anybody else.

I agreed with this, but then she misbehaved and stayed at another dudes house, so I cut her off.

I believe that sometimes, cutting your losses with your dignity intact is important.

But I'd be interested to hear another strategy I could have used.

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I agreed

But I'd be interested to hear another strategy I could have used.

"No" will suffice or, if you want to fuck with her a bit, you say "listen baby, i love... (pregnant pause :D) to spend time with you, but right now i'm exploring my own desires, looking for a way to find myself, i know you understand what im talking about, so you know how it feels - (now starts the fuckery, flip the script :D) - i wouldnt want you to feel trapped in a relationship you dont want to be in, the last thing i want for you is to be held hostage by a boyfriend that demands you dont follow your feelings and desires (bonus point's for pointing out one of her orbiters by name)".

Basically, spew confusing bs like that and watch her try to process your "made up hamstering" through her own hamster, it's super fun, you can actually see confusion on her face. After a while, she'll just bluntly ask you "so we're not exclusive?". Women can't take rejection and they have no game at all.

[–]Starfuckingman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lmao flip the script. i love it.

[–]randomTATRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just shouldn't have agreed. Fuck exclusivity. It brings scarcity mentality and sometimes (usually) leads to oneitis.

[–]DeeplyDisturbed1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This may be the simplest, clearest, most raw and harsh red pill I have ever read here.

If all men learned this simple life lesson from day 1, and worked hard on themselves, there would be no need for this sub.

[–]jedicreed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My points exactly.

As a matter of fact, it's very easy to conclude this when you take ego out of the equation.

[–]omega_dawg93 1 point2 points  (2 children)

what i tell women when the dating starts: "you will have every opportunity to show me EXACTLY who you are... just be who you are."

you'd be surprised at how most 'bad' girls just act 'bad' from the start... and i enjoy them and appreciate their honesty.

other girls, who want to be more than fuck buds, act in a much different way.

the hard part is when they want to be gf's but HIDE, LIE, AND DECEIVE because they don't want to exit the cock carousel or live without all the constant (and different) attention from multiple men.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've found that women who want to be a girlfriend really do want to exit the casual sex game (or at least think that they do, even if that turns out to be short-lived). So they go to great lengths to hide and lie about their slutty pasts and pretend to be good, sexually conservative girls.

Which doesn't make any sense to me. If I'm meeting a girl on Tinder, for example, or even just picking a girl up at bar, I know she's had casual sex before. She's a single adult. I'm a single adult. Single adults with active dating lives (as evidenced by meeting her in a dating setting) have casual sex. Why pretend she's not slutty? Who is she fooling?

If she wants to maximize her chances with me, she should drag my ass home on the first date, and every other date, to show me that she is eager and enthusiastic to have a vibrant sex life with me. If a woman actually likes me and actually wants to date me seriously, she should be -more- eager and -more- enthusiastic to have sex with me than with some casual guy she met that she doesn't really want to date. Why would she think that being less sexual would somehow attract me more?

And why would she want to hide her sluttiness from me? If anything, she should want to be as forward, flirty, fun, and dirty as possible with me. Even moreso than she would be for some casual guy she met but doesn't want to date. If she really likes me and really wants to date me seriously, she should be eager to lay her cards on the table and show me who she is. What kind of idiot would want to hide her sexuality from a serious boyfriend and put on a pretend non-slut act for the rest of her life and have a sexually reserved relationship? That's just stupid.

If she really loves you, she will be eager to fuck you - more eager than she ever was for a casual guy. And she will be eager to show you her true self rather than hide it from you.

[–]omega_dawg93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

nah dude... she won't ever tell you about her true sexual self. you may not want to know it either.

women want the truth but not full disclosure. they have secrets you'll never know... the biggest being how much cum they've taken in.

you're using man logic and being overt when women naturally are very cunning and covert. it takes a very special woman to be a "proud" bad girl.

she will always want you to think of her as your "special princess." her emotional state always tries to normalize as "a good, fun, positive woman that fits in the normal group."

[–]ArchetypicalDegen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a really good post. If you want to have causal relationships, you need to be somewhat disengaged. She's in a casual relationship because she doesn't want drama, she just wants simple fun.

If you're in a casual relationship, you shouldn't really be all that emotionally invested in it. The idea of a casual relationship is that you have a bunch of shit going on for you, so you enter something casual so you have fun to fill in the gaps.

[–]Freevoulous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TO anyone interested in the underlying idea behind OP's post, I wholeheartedly recommend googling "Alpha Male 2.0"

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great post man.

this is a good example of guys wanted to go back to those old contracts from the 1950's and things...

times have changed and i think this does a great job of explaining that.

[–]_thechinaman_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't the expression "Let the crackers fall where they may"?

[–]Feelinggood702 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, very reader friendly. Thank you for this!

[–]immaculacy 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I agree in the start. You can't be having casual sex with a girl and expect her to give a f*ck about you. Short term girlfriends aren't going to care that much either but they should at least be decent. The way she'll be really good to you is if he wants to marry you.

But don't have casual sex. You're degrading yourself.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's not 1950 any more. June Cleaver is not saving herself for marriage, ready to form a wholesome nuclear family unit with the right guy to further society with 2.5 children, a white picket fence, and a dog, then grow old together with her husband as the kids go off to make their mark in the world.

In 2018, most people, men and women, have casual sex, both between relationships, and for many people as an alternative to relationships. And today, marriage is a loser bet for men.

Today, under the current social landscape, casual sex and avoiding marriage is the best sexual strategy for guys.

[–]immaculacy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Casual sex destroys any chance a guy in 2018 can have of getting a good wife and a good life in the long run. So if you have low SMV as a male and have given up, go have casual sex with low SMV women. If you don't have low SMV, don't do it.

The solution to a problem is never to make it ten times worse and then whine about it. And by ten times worse I mean it used to be only the feminist hippies who had degenerate sex (and yes I know it happened with others and affairs happened but it wasn't accepted, it was only accepted with low lives). But today, now people who called themselves "redpilled" openly act the total opposite of redpilled. That's how it's not just making it worse, but making it exponentially worse.

If you want to do something FOR the feminists and sluts and people who hate your patriarchal white male existence, have casual sex. They'll be happy with you ruining your own civilization. And replacing it with their progressive gynocentric slutty ideas. (Idk if you're a white male but I'm speaking to all men in the West and they want to see white men beaten first). You're only hurting the people, the remnants of our moral culture, who want you to have a good life. The ones who want to make it harder for men are the ones who want casual sex to be our "new and improved" (read as hellhole) culture.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you think there will ever be some kind of quality male uprising where men stop having sex with slutty women, you're delusional.

The Red Pill is about the best/optimal sexual strategy for men. And the best sexual strategy is not to refuse to have sex under some 1950s idea of how the world ought to work because joining the modern casual sex culture would somehow reward women. Going without sex in some kind of delusional belief that you can change the world and bring things back to the good ol' days when women didn't have casual sex and every man with a job got a wife is a terrible sexual strategy. That road will lead to you jerking off while everyone else has sex.

[–]Ananonguy88 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok, you've described me.

Demanding respect is quite tricky thing though. I'm not going to be a friend or a buddy to a person that is not respecting me. It relates to both male and female. It can easily lead to opposite side of spectrum which is taking disrespect for the sake of getting or keeping getting laid which is ultimate blue pill and shit test fail. She can fuck around with other men, allright, but trying to fuck your bud on the night out together when you are present is a no no and nexting trigger. Or talking shit behind your back, despite still having sex with you is also a deal braker.

Low expectations and "anything goes as long as I get laid" are blue pill standards, if you are fuckable to women because of gains+genetics then you are going to end up a silly toyboy she flakes most of the time and calls last when other chads reject her for this night.

Very good post though and upvote from me, just balancing the perspective on this.

[–]3CainPrice[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely. There's general "not girlfriend material", then there's "being too annoying and stupid to bother putting up with".

If a woman is in category 2, the sex isn't worth it.