Summary: Most women are not girlfriend or wife material. Expecting them to behave like they are and attempting to enforce boundaries is needless stress when you could just be enjoying some decent sex.
Fairly frequently, Red Pill readers will post questions about a particular woman’s behavior. Most of the time, the woman in question is not the guy’s girlfriend, but just some girl he knows and would like to date or have sex with, or in some cases, just some girl he’s having casual sex with. The woman is behaving in a way that upsets the guy. She’s talking with other men. Possibly having sex with other men. She talks about other men around him. She’s glued to her phone instead of giving all of her attention to him. Ultimately, she’s just not very respectful of him.
The comments chime in, declaring that he should next the bitch, put his foot down, and never tolerate disrespect. And you know what? If this woman were his wife or his serious girlfriend, they would be right. But she’s not. She’s just some plate he’s fucking, or just some girl he’s friends with and wants to fuck. She’s not his girlfriend. She’s not his wife.
Too many men expect a woman to behave like a good girlfriend when she’s not a girlfriend. They’ve been told that if you are attractive enough and behave the right way, women are supposed to want a relationship with you at all costs. Then when some girl a guy is having casual sex with spends her spare time chatting with other guys instead of behaving herself to try to win a relationship out of him, he’s upset. Why is this plate “disrespecting” him, the guy thinks.
The fact is, the overwhelming majority of women in the world are not girlfriend or wife material. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you can’t like a woman, enjoy sex with her, enjoy her company, and have a good time. And if she’s fucking other guys, so what? You’re fucking other women, right? And if she’s talking to other guys to try to find a boyfriend, that’s not your problem. And if she’s on her phone and not being fun to be around, you have other shit you can be doing anyway, right?
It’s okay for a woman to not be girlfriend material. In fact, when a woman behaves in a way that tells you she is not, she is doing you a favor. Now you know where she stands with you and where you stand with her. You can continue to enjoy sex with her and enjoy her company without the added pressure of trying to screen her for girlfriend qualities. And she can enjoy sex with you and your company without the added pressure of having to behave a certain way to meet your expectations.
In fact, when you stop putting the pressure to behave a certain way on a woman and just let go of judgment, boundaries, and pride, and stop getting all bent out of shape over what she’s not offering, it’s just plain easier to enjoy her for what she is offering: decent sex and decent company. It’s better for her, too, when she can let go, be herself, and not worry about some guy she’s fucking being judgmental and getting his panties in a wad over something stupid because he secretly wants a relationship with her.
If a woman wants a relationship with you, she’ll act like it. Women know how to be good girlfriends. Women know that good girlfriends don’t get dinner with their ex-boyfriends, stay late after work drinking one-on-one with a male coworker, or entertain probes for availability from a dozen different guys in their phone while they sit on your couch. If a woman is doing this, this isn’t due to your failure to set ground rules and enforce boundaries. This isn’t due to her “disrespecting” you. This is happening simply because she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, so she’s not acting in a way to try to win you over. She’s content with where things are now, whether that’s casual sex, friendship, or something else. If she wanted more, she’d act differently.
It’s okay if a woman doesn’t want to be your girlfriend. And it’s okay if she’s not girlfriend material. A man doesn’t have to judge her for that or get angry about it. He can just enjoy the sex. Enjoy the companionship. Even enjoy the friendship if he wants.
Expecting women to behave like good girlfriends when the overwhelming majority of women are simply not girlfriend material is a recipe for disappointment. Better to let women behave however they’re going to behave and see where the chips fall. Why deal with the stress of trying to set boundaries to control behavior? When women are given the space to be themselves, even if being themselves means not behaving like a good girlfriend, they can bring a lot to the table. Somethings things that surprise and delight us.