I don't drink or smoke, where is a good place to meet up (self.asktrp)

submitted by hopelesshotel

20yr, not trying to invest more than $10-$20. Starbucks seems too casual/has a friendly vibe to it. Drinking or smoking is out of the question because of mental health. basically, am i fucked

[–]no_condoments 73 points74 points  (11 children)

Meet at a fancier/trendier coffee shop instead of Starbucks.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 24 points25 points  (3 children)

that’s a good one. appreciate the input bro.

[–]no_condoments 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Ideally it's near something cool to walk around. Public park, downtown area, boardwalk, etc.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

that’s a good addition to it, anywhere you can game and spend the least amount of money is ideal

[–]alphabachelor 4 points5 points  (0 children)


Public parks are great for long walks with lots of kino.

[–]1morescoobysnacks 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Starbucks is trendy as fuck.

[–]bigskymind 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Really? In Australia it's seen as the McDonalds of coffee shops.

[–]YungYason 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s deff seen as a “fast food” coffee shop in US. Most towns have local coffee shops where the younger people usually hang out.

[–]Youngyoda89 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In Houston, Starbucks is poppin. There are many standalones but none as successful as Starbucks. I definitely don’t think “McDonald’s” when I think of Starbucks.

[–]chrysanthemum_tea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah same in NZ. Pretty much reserved for clueless tourists and Americans who like the taste of burnt coffee

[–]1morescoobysnacks -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Anyone who thinks Starbucks isn't fancy/trendy enough is a super hipster. It's a popular coffee shop that's very casual and everyone is familiar with it. Basically exactly what you want on an initial hangout.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i gotta disagree, it’s too casual and friendly which hinders you’re seductive potential. i like the idea of something of a different ambiance, maybe dimmer with a moody aesthetic. super hipster, maybe, i just find that’d fit my personality more

[–]residentlifter 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Nature trails are my go to place to meet up. If you pick the right time if you're familiar with the trail, you can usually count on being pretty well secluded, which usually leads to more interesting things - especially if you initiate some kino early on.

[–]menial_optimist 28 points29 points  (1 child)

this one is tricky, if its a first date the girl might not be comfortable with walking around in the woods with a dude she barely knows

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

agreed, guess i should have disclosed i was looking for 1st date ideas. nonetheless still a good date location

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

that’s a good one too. I live in the desert here, plenty of trails and hikes etc. kino would be easy to inaugurate in those situations. Is a girl asking you to hold her stuff a shit test, if her “back hurts” etc?

[–]residentlifter 6 points7 points  (2 children)

One of my favorite things to do is to pick a girl up and drape her over my shoulder so that her naval is touching my shoulder. If she asks you to carry her stuff, say sure and pick her up instead and drape her over your shoulder and keep walking.

Honestly I’ve never had a girl ask to hold her stuff and the only time I’ve ever helped a woman carry anything is if we were in a LTR and it was genuinely too heavy for her.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

clever shit, i was pertaining more towards a hike though, there’s no way i can carry a girl up or down gravel if she asked me to hold something for her, what would be a good thing to do/say?

[–]Kurush559 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Get stronger lol

[–]menial_optimist 13 points14 points  (4 children)

board game cafe. the more trendier ones will have plenty of pumpkin caramel chai lattes to pump into her ass.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

you’re right man, i guess i was caught up on pump & dumps. the girls i’m actually into would be up for some hipster shit like that

[–]menial_optimist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

just make sure to select games she can grasp. I know it sounds sexist but don't be reaching for the mars expedition games or w/e or 10 mins in she'll be whining that its "too hard" or boring. Anomia is a good game especially if you get the adult version, plenty of opportunity to turn the convo sexually playful.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

thanks for the advice, i woulda kept it simple at chess or scrabble off the rip anyway, i’ve never heard of anomia but i’ll check it out if i see it

[–]menial_optimist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a great simple game. Cards are drawn with symbols on them and text. If you have a diamond symbol and someone else draws a diamond symbol, you "face off", where you both as fast as possible try to name/sound the text on the enemy card. Whoever utters the valid answer first wins. If both are said at the same time you keep naming shit until one clearly wins.

E.g. yellow diamond card is drawn. The next players turn a yellow diamond card is drawn. You immediately face off. The enemy card says "Sex Toys" so outloud you'd start naming off sex toys. Your card says "Flavors of Icecream" so she starts naming off shit.

That game (and probably many others) are good for setting a positive, happy atmosphere and can get sex on the brain easily.

[–]Lostitink 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I don’t drink but I do smoke tobacco. I generally just meet a girl for food and see how it goes. Should it go well I ask them for a walk around or come over to my place. Now it’s Halloween time. Take a girl to a haunted house nothing is better for kino in the entire world. Like in the history of ever. This month is a great month for dudes that don’t drink.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

cant fucking argue with that at all. this is definitely it chief

[–]NextForever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

quit while you can and replace it with the ganj if need be; withdrawals are brutal

[–]zrobek 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Something active... Indoor Rock climbing, rowing, ...maybe indoor water park, simple walk by the beach or lake

Will need to step up the budget slightly though

I know you said no smoking, but hookah?

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

good idea, something you wouldn’t normally do while intoxicated serves as a workaround. also seems like it would require more investment and budget. i cant hookah either cause of asthma. thanks for the input man.

[–]TheProspecter 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Events Coffee shops. Hobby clubs (car meets, etc.) Gym

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

so anything regular activity is good? i feel being in the most seductive frame would need a location that mirrors that prospect

[–]TheProspecter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well if youre passionate about cars and you have a cool car that can be a thing to show off as a hobbie. Or if your in shape going to a beach is good. Play up strengths.

[–]Acrimont -1 points0 points  (1 child)


[–]Lostitink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell me about how you work a gym date? I have never taken a girl there because I don't feel like fucking around with all the weight changing and shit. However, I would like to know how you pull it off.

[–]ghosts_of_me 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Make art together at home.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

this is genuinely creative

[–]ghosts_of_me 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Its so easy too. Just get some odd craft supplies and say you wanna hang out and drink tea and see what the both of you come up with.

Not enough people even think about doing fun crative shit these days. She'll love it.

Just remember to have a final product in mind from the beginning and lead the way but dont tell her what it is.

As youre hanging out making something fun together it will be really good intimate bonding time with great chance for the conversation to lead where you both want it to.

[–]ScratchinCommander 6 points7 points  (2 children)


[–]ghosts_of_me 0 points1 point  (1 child)


[–]ScratchinCommander 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The final product

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

this is definitely up my alley bro, clever idea i’ll be doing this. lucky for myself my creativity is 50% of my personality. thanks for the idea

[–]ghosts_of_me 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome. If you do it and suceed come back and let me know!

[–]darkkramer 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Something I like to do is meet up for a walk and then go to a big swing in a playground and lay down with the girl, girls usually find it very playful and genuine plus great for kino. Don’t do this if you’re over 25

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

maybe if chemistry is right and it’s spontaneous i could pull that off. planned meet up and going to the swings, even though that is good kino, I don’t know about that one man, gonna keep it a buck... lol thanks though

[–]Lostitink 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You know I think you could pull this off if you're over 25 and have a free spirit. I mean nostalgia can be a great way to get them thinking about good times and good vibes. You would probably have to find a place with a coffee shop close then say hey lets walk in the park or something. Then get them to go over to the swing set. I think this could be great for any age. It's def not "normal" and a girl that wouldn't be down would be probably be an annoying princess anyway.

[–]darkkramer 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah it could work for sure! But I think that most people over 25 who could pull it off generally wouldn’t need to ask questions on asktrp

[–]Lostitink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pulled this off tonight. F-close. You can always work on improving your game. I have decent game but it can always get better and I like reading trp to get a fresh perspective. Took HB7 to haunted house. Perfect for kino. Escalated to kiss in the haunted house. Left there said hey let’s walk around this park I used to go to all the time when I was a kid. I’m 31, took her to park walked around make out time. Back to my vehicle. F-close. Park at night is great. Didn’t do the lay in the grass trick. I bet I would have worked nicely though.

[–]adambrukirer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do a puzzle together at home

[–]Acrimont 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yeah man, understand your struggle. But not because of lack of mental health but becausebof presence of it.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

l’m not sure i get what you mean, message me and we can talk brother

[–]Acrimont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I.E: Not drinking and smoking is the smart thing to do.

[–]whosaccisthis94 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]Insendi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Your place, cook up some dinner

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my place is also out of the question, i’m on my mission to get there but at this moment it wouldn’t work. what’s a good way to advance to her place?

[–]BowlOfCandy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Go for a walk - a park, a trail, a walk along the bay, etc. Keeps you both moving, plenty of distractions along the way to talk about, cheap as fuck.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks. i’ve come to the conclusion the location doesn’t matter as much as the interaction itself

[–]Torvoltz 1 point2 points  (3 children)

ice cream shop

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

i like the idea, but i think it’d be hard to be in a seductive frame licking up a vanilla swirl

[–]OreoAcetate 14 points15 points  (1 child)

It will with that attitude

[–]joeswo214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lol'd at this

[–]catfroman 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Grab a coffee at a store that isn’t Starbucks then walk at a nearby park

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

is a coffee shop appropriate for all times of day? i know not drinking/smoking reduces the options of “night life” places

[–]catfroman 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I mean I do the coffee shop meetup thing at like 6, come up with a reason to leave around 7, then chill for an hour or two at the park, then you can be like let’s head to my place.

For true nightlife though...not really. I do ramen bars at that point. Nice cheap delicious food and most are open fairly late. Quiet enough for conversation but still definitely casual

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

i guess it’s contingent on how you carry yourself, it’s the difference between taking a girl to a coffee/ramen shop and being a broke boy, or someone who isn’t going to rely on fancy dates to impress her

[–]catfroman 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Well I’m picking her up in an Audi A6 so that definitely helps lmao

[–]EnhancedNatural 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Next time just say “in an Audi” - way more classy and full of possibilities (unless you were gonna pick her up in an R8!)

[–]catfroman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol fair enough

[–]jm51 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Assuming that you're both old enough, I've found casinos to be a decent venue for a first date/meeting.

Might be different in the US but in the UK you get your pic taken on entry. So she knows that she is safe. Top level staff and the food is a reasonable price considering the plush decor.

As gambling is optional, it can be a very cheap date.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

casino, i haven’t thought of that, ill keep that in mind. it’s not like that here in the US that i know of, either way its high security so safety isn’t an issue. thanks for the idea

[–]disgruntledearthling 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or just hits bars/clubs and drink coke and/or water with ice

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the bar/club scene really isn’t my thing, i dont drink/smoke so i feel like an alien in that place. thanks though man

[–]oytrp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can't you walk into a bar and not drink alcohol?

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would prefer not doing that

[–]Saberinbed 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Drinking and smoking occasionaly won’t do jack shit. Its actually really fun in moderation.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 7 points8 points  (8 children)

thanks for the concern bro, ive drank and smoked plenty before, unfortunately for me it’s an anxiety amplifier

[–]Saberinbed -1 points0 points  (7 children)

Why don’t you go fix your anxiety then? I used to have the same problem when i was your age. It’s probably just a phase that you’l grow out of. I’m 22 right now, and most of my anxiety was gone when i turned 21.

I would suggest you become as outgoing as possible, and start hitting the gym and picking up hobbies. Try not to stay home too much, and work on improving your overall health.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Anxiety is a mental disorder that for some isn't a " just get over it"

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

this is true, however i think he was trying to give advice on possibilities to overcome it. anxiety is different for all people man, even in stages of being confident my anxiety has broken me down. i wish it was as easy as just getting over it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Is ur asthma anxiety enduced, i have that too... Especially when i drink or smoke when im stressed.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

fortunately it’s not, does you’re drinking/smoking enhance your anxiety?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Smoking not too bad unless i smoke too much, weed can definitely send me into a crazy debilitating state, alcohol can trigger it as well but if im really hydrated and have a full stomach im usually fine.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good for you finding a workaround, i’m trying to find one as well. hope things work out for you man

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks man. that’s the main focus, been on monk mode for about 2 months trying to get my life together. what you mentioned is most likely the origin of my anxiety. smoking/drinking’s also been the perpetrator of starting it, experiencing depersonalization and questioning my own worth.

i should have said it amplifies my inner feelings, low self-esteem, social anxiety ect. but you’re right, if i feel good in my skin i have more of a chance of overcoming it.

[–]yahyasafe7 0 points1 point  (21 children)

go for a fucken stroll, more space to operate in for escalation

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

i feel like it sounds wack asking a girl to go for a walk or something unless it’s post hang out, coffee, event etc. is there a good way to ask her that without sounding corny?

[–]yahyasafe7 3 points4 points  (2 children)

i've met a trp guy in my city and he doesn't drink beer, he told me that he asks girl for short strolls around his fucken apartment lol and when he feels like it, he takes them a restaurant where the bitch pays her share, then he makes up some shitty excuse and asks them to go back with him inside his apartment he makes clear from the beginning, however, that they're meeting "near my apartment"

take to a coffeeplace, ice cream shop...whatthefuckever, then in the middle of the conversation "eh, let's move outta here, let's keep the blood flowing you know, my ass's hurting"

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

thats g shit, and a good idea. might as well make it clear im not a simp thats gotta pamper the hell out of a girl to get her back to my place. what should you do if youre place isn’t suitable at the moment, can you advance to her place or is that basically out of the question

[–]EnhancedNatural 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro you need to take steps to address the place situation!

[–]3nebder 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Dude you overthink this shit. She either wants to hang with YOU doing whatever you decide or she doesn’t want to hang with you. The activity is a pretense for the social interaction, nothing more.

To answer your question: “Let’s grab a coffee and check out downtown/this cool park/this shopping center/etc”

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if we’re getting to the barebones of a social interaction you’re right about the pretense, doesn’t have to matter to much as long as the interaction goes well

[–]yahyasafe7 0 points1 point  (14 children)

my best to-go activity to do is to listen to some music together using a double jack audio input, check it out, works like magic on a girl's mind, it makes her think she's in a movie or smth, also, try to chat with her using ur notes app in ur phone, while listening to music

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children)

yea i can see this working on someone worth the investment. i think it leans more on the romantic side and i don’t know about doing this with a random pump & dump. for a potential LTR or loyal plate however, def.

[–]yahyasafe7 -4 points-3 points  (12 children)

yeah, well, the girls i'm gaming are from my social circles (REALLY SMART PSYCHOLOGY CHICKS), so they're surely not the "pump & dump" type. I kinda invest in them cuz afterwards, we have to stay on good terms, to keep my reputation, y'know

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

i prefer those man, if i’m keeping it a buck intelligence is the most attractive trait a woman can have (internally) you got it made brother. the question i have about psychology chicks is, can’t they pick up on your mind games or any tricks you’re trying to pull?

[–]joeswo214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mind fuck my PHD psychologist every week. You can see her lil hamster wheel spin as I casually mention exploits with women or my crazy stories

[–]yahyasafe7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

not really, the modern mate selection and sexual strategies aren't mentioned in any textbook that i know of in psychology, and even if it is (evo psych), they can't really apply it to real life, so trp is practically invisible on their radar

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats music to my ears

[–]ghosts_of_me 0 points1 point  (7 children)

No. Theyre students, not psychologists.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

well, can’t say it’s completely out of the question

[–]ghosts_of_me -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

If youre getting intimidated by these chicks because you think they can read your mind you need to rethink your frame.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

what did i say that implied i was intimidated

[–]ghosts_of_me -1 points0 points  (1 child)

"Cant they pick up on your mind games or tricks?"

[–]Vrokko 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This, you ain't a psychologist until you have "Dr" in front of your name. No reason to be intimidated by girls with thier education training wheels on.

[–]ghosts_of_me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plus any student who tries that hard to try and figure people out using psychology is porbably a huge narcissist

[–]exscionewhuman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With that attitude... Yep.

[–]anonymau5 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Kava bar

[–]nwhitey12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those are pretty rare but if you have one near you I agree with this

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just googled it, it’s a coffee bar ? sounds like exactly what i’m looking for

[–]TheCondor96 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Gym? Work if you aren't in a serious career yet. If you know of bars or restaurants that do events you can go to them for the event instead of drinking.

[–]hopelesshotel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good plan bro, i should have clarified i was looking for go-to first dates places, the events etc are good post hook up.

[–]luvmojo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you serious... Dude I've took girls on a date to a random field and they loved it because they got to spend time with me.

Only 20% of the population smokes and only about 50% drink on a monthly basis. Your just making excuses. Do whatever the fuck you'd usually do but just bring her along. If you don't have anything to do or anywhere to take her then fix your life first.

[–]throw_castaway -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean I get you don’t smoke, but drink? Tf, every guy here has fucked right after some alcohol. Anyways, you can try volunteering,

[–]Chadster113 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)


[–]Tarmyniatur -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You don't drink or smoke + you're broke, that's what you meant to say.