Why do girls do this? (self.asktrp)

submitted by BrowDawg

Text convo going well:

Me: Hey so we're still on for tomorrow right?

Her: HOURS LATER Haha, I'm just seeing this, sorry was cooking.

This is universal behavior I've encountered with almost all women. They don't respond to direct questions. Sometimes it's a prelude to a ghost in which I ignore and forget about sometimes it's genuine lack of social skills. I can't wrap my head around it. It's not even a fucking hard question.

[–]bouncebby 88 points89 points  (2 children)

This is typical of low investment.

Bottom line. If a girl is interested, you'd get a quicker, more definite response.

I'd leave this one and find someone better to spend time with.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 10 points11 points  (0 children)


[–]Jabbermouth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a no.

[–]gregoire_ 96 points97 points  (0 children)

She’s ignoring the question but wants you to keep giving her attention. I normally just leave them on read until she answers, but it’s often a downhill road from there.

[–]ELFuhler 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Yo she clearly read that text.

[–]BrutalMan420 16 points17 points  (0 children)


[–]Smubii 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Forget everyone else's answer.

Do not ask her if you're still on. This puts the ball in her court. Literally 2 hours before you can say, see you at X.

That's it. And if she was really interested, she'd be texting YOU to confirm.
She'd do it for Channing Tatum.

[–]smirk_addict 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I done that. It helps at times but the kind of girl OP is describing will just ghost you anyway.

[–]askmrcia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agee with you. At this point no matter what he does its most likely downhill.

And if he does get lucky and she agrees to meet because all her other plans canceled and she literally has nothing else to do then she will just go just to waste time.

I've been there.

It's the same as being interviewed with someone who already has a candidate in mind or they already hired.

They ask you basic ass questions, going through the motions and don't even bother taking notes.

Those dates are no fun, so op is better off moving on

[–]Solic 22 points23 points  (14 children)

If a girl is interested in you it literally doesnt matter what shes doing she will want to hang out with you. Girls usually want to behave nice and when they say something like this take it as not interested in you or hanging out with you. Not much you can do there apart from moving on or improving yourself.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Yes, this. It was her indirect, cowardly way of saying she didn't want to go.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 0 points1 point  (11 children)

I wouldnt call it cowardly. It's a soft next. I do this to girls that I still want to see if I cant find anything better for the evening.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad -1 points0 points  (10 children)

Maybe not always cowardly necessarily, but I find I respect people who can be direct and not waste someone's time or energy(or their own) much more than someone who mush-mouths their way out of a date or relationship.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker -1 points0 points  (9 children)

Who cares about respect? Girls dont care about a guy's opinion at all. The only thing that matters to a woman is what other women think about her. They won't behave the way you want them to just to earn our respect. Sexual strategy is amoral anyways. Do what you have to do to succeed.

The chick doesn't like being my backup plan but she stays there because she wants me. I keep her there because I can.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 0 points1 point  (8 children)

I value my husbands opinion greatly, more than anyone actually. I try very hard to always carry myself in a way that he can respect.

I agree with a lot of things that get said on this sub but some of you guys, wew lad

[–]Da_RectumWrecker -1 points0 points  (7 children)

Why are you even on this sub?

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Why are you asking me a question I just gave you an answer to?

[–]Da_RectumWrecker -1 points0 points  (5 children)

Just because there is an exception to a rule doesn't make the rule invalid. The vast majority of girls are intensely concerned with what other girls think of them. If this was false then social media wouldnt have pictures of girls in bikinis everywhere farming fake internet points for validation.

Something tells me that you arent exactly an Instagram model though. If I'm wrong, enjoy your fake internet points and you win the argument! Congrats!

Im not here for upvotes. Im here to pay it forward. If I could help to improve someone's life through typing here then it was time well spent.

Guys are here because they want to be like me and other successful men. If what I'm doing and thinking is wrong but it works, then it isnt wrong.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I'm not an Instagram model but I'm definitely not ugly, and I take care of myself.

Typical to turn to calling me "fat&ugly" just because I had the audacity to disagree with you, though. That's a weakling move.

You made a broad statement about all women and I said that no, I'm a woman, and it didn't apply to me. You seem to have a habitual problem saying what you mean in your life. Don't be so mealy-mouthed and try being direct and maybe your interactions with people in general would be more positive.

[–]ArdAtak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, they'll move heaven and earth if they really want to see you.

[–]HurricaneHugues 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Ignore until she answers

[–]Terdmuffin 35 points36 points  (17 children)

Hey we're still on for tomorrow right?


I'll see.you tomorrow at 7

[–]wawakaka 30 points31 points  (2 children)

ADHD. women have a million things going on at once.

you error is you asked her question that required her to think...bad move.

next time just say see you tomorrow at such and such time.

[–]DiggerClam 28 points29 points  (1 child)

women have a million things going on at once.

What unicorns have you discovered?!

Working a reception job, eating, taking photos of food and beach selfies for instagram is not a million things.

[–]markinsinz7 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They have a million DMs. But more importantly women except for the introverts are almost always in the company of others. I mean it. Especially if they are pretty. If they are not socializing or whatevrr then it's by their own choice.

[–]SjekkieTime 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Theres is nothing wrong with late responses. Some girls actually do stuff instead of being on their phone 24/7.

But if just 'haha just read this!' is her answer, and nothing else, shes not interested

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I think he's referring to her not directly responding to his text's subject matter, which is understandably annoying. It's a game.

[–]SjekkieTime 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ye true. Her response is very much like 'haha pls give me attention but im playing hard2get XD'

But late responses in general arent a sign of uninterest

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. It was her context that threw up the red flag, not necessarily the timing.

[–]raadim 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She has rejected you

Read Rollo Tommasi and his "Medium is the message"

[–]person8445 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ignore her. Do something else. If she gets back to you tell her you made other plans.

[–]creating_my_life 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Look around at girls. Do you see how they all have their phones stapled to the inside of their eyelids? THERE IS NO GIRL THAT DOESN'T IMMEDIATELY SEE EVERY TEXT.

The context IS the message. This is why TRP says "ignore what she says, watch what she does."

Do you know why it's universal behavior? Because you're not an attractive, high-value man. All women have bucketed you into being an orbiter because you're not high-value. They know this. You've just never seen how women treat a high-value man and don't know any different.

[–]RaughKee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has other options and is waiting for the better ones to hit her up, if they do she's busy, if they don't she's free. Don't worry about it, your goal is to maximize the interaction the next time you see her to make you the number one option. You need to have other options yourself so that when she flakes you go down the list.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 3 points4 points  (1 child)

They want you to ask again because they like to play games.

Or they don't want to go with you and don't have the balls to be direct.

Source: am woman

[–]1redhawkes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

don't have the balls to be direct.

If my grandmother had balls, she'd be my grandfather, or in OPs case, a tranny.

[–]Ricklogical 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Answer the question Claire

[–]2chazthundergut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because they are drowning in options.

Change your tactics. Next time, set the date a few days in advance at the most. Tell her: "I will find us a place and text you the address"

Then you can text her the day of (push it to as late as possible) in a way that seems very non needy.

You will still get flakes. But this has yielded the fewest flakes for me.

[–]koedeloe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Been there.. I just lose interest myself at that point and move on to another girl

[–]Rabb1tH3ad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The proper response to this type of behavior.

[–]Da_RectumWrecker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do this to a girl that I want to keep on the back burner. She asked me if I want to meet up tomorrow and I told her "idk". Last week she asked me to come over and I just didnt respond for a while, then i sent a text saying "i just saw this, i never check my phone".

I was out with my wingman three nights ago and we were hanging with a couple Australian chicks. My buddy was getting along great with the girl he chose. The girl I was with was resisting kino, but still acting interested in interacting with me. Come to find out the chick I chose is in a relationship with another girl! I wanted to get out of the situation so as soon as my buddy got his logistics straight I called up backburner chick and ubered to her place. This is the position you are probably in if a girl is behaving like I am.

You dont have time for girls that arent enthusiastically coming at you. Keep approaching and you will find a few. I guarantee that the chick that's giving you a "meh" response is definitely being enthusiastic to another dude who is blowing her off.

[–]DatingTank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We can speculate and theorize for years about anyone's reason for doing anything. It's not important and not that interesting really. Except those cases where other's actions are feedback on yourself, like, if no one wants to hang out with you ever, maybe you're lame, stuff like that.

Have something else going on in your life, så that if a date flakes, you just go do your thing instead. Perfect opportunity to go out and approach for instance, since you're already in some nice clothes and in an extroverted mindset. Date flakes? Be talking to a new woman 15 min later. Always be refilling the pipeline anyway.

Confirm time and placee 2 hours earlier, like you would most other appointments, and then get on with the date or your life.

[–]Datanami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should do the same to women

[–]YslJames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They will only confirm with men they have high interest in.

[–]KinkysMT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you ask her? I never do that. Make a statement instead. Like: tomorrow 8pm at X Or: I'll be late, meet at 8:15

Don't give them the choice to decide about the date. Assume they are gonna come.

It's your frame, not hers.

[–]SalporinRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless the girl can prove she dropped her phone in a river or got ran over by a bus so she was in a coma always assume she read it when you sent it.

Have you seen how much girls look at their phone in a single minute much less 3-4 hours?

[–]DatingTank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also. If this is universal behavior, then realize that it's not universal. It's you. As you become more attractive to women, you will see women investing a lot more and start chasing you

[–]ArdAtak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Just ask again.

Nothing wrong with "You didn't answer my question." If she keeps playing coy, soft next her.

[–]Gravel_Roads -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude, I sometimes take days to respond to a text, I hate texting. She already said "Yes", why are you still asking her if she still wants to go out with you?

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]BrowDawg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my usual response or sometimes I simply don't respond till she acknowledges my question.