55
56

My girlfriend has better dread game than me (self.asktrp)

submitted by Cruise25111

I went out last Friday and got really pissed and she didn’t like it so she didn’t speak to me for a few days. She still wasn’t speaking to me into the week so I decided not to speak with her.

Got to tonight and we still weren’t speaking. She doesn’t come home from work until 11 I was worried sick calling hospitals and her phone multiple times.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t be such a huge pussy.

Any feedback would be appreciated.


[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 187 points188 points  (10 children)

I went out last Friday and got really pissed and she didn’t like it so she didn’t speak to me for a few days. She still wasn’t speaking to me into the week

That's not dread game, but it's creating unnecessary drama. the proper answer is soft next.

https://archive.li/nrGrE

http://archive.li/Qb83t

I was worried sick calling hospitals and her phone multiple times.

Reading this made me physically uncomfortable. Pathetic.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 2 points3 points  (6 children)

You seem to be well versed with soft next, so I'd like to ask, let's say you want to soft next for 5 days, if the girl never initiates contact, do you contact her 5 days after the soft next, or do you extend the soft next until she initiates.

[–]ArnoldBateman 20 points21 points  (2 children)

What exactly is this concept of soft next for X number of days. I always understood a soft next to mean you don't initiate contact and if she doesn't then you just move on. A "soft next" that only applies for a certain amount of time isn't a next at all. It's just ignoring a girl for a couple days. If you aren't willing to say goodbye then I don't see how it's any type of "Next."

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Have you ever seen the trope of a bratty little kid telling his parents he's going to run away? He takes a few steps, then turns around to make sure they're watching. His parent's just laugh, because they know he's not going anywhere.

That's what this is:

What exactly is this concept of soft next for X number of days.

"Next" means you're on to the next one. "Soft next" also means you're on to the next one - but you are still open to the possibility of allowing her to come back to you if she wants to and if she changes her behavior. It does not mean you pout like a spoiled kid for a few days, and then contact her.

If a girl is seriously disrespectful or cheating or something, you hard next her. Do not take her back. Block her number. It's over. But if a girl is mostly okay, but just doing one thing wrong (nagging for example), you soft next her. In both cases, you should be out looking for the next girl. You should not be watching a calendar and counting the days.

/u/Cruise25111, you've fucked up a number of things here, but it's okay. We've all done it - I've done it multiple times. Try to be stronger in your next relationship, but accept that this one is over. Get her out of your house, and start fucking other women.

In the future, don't give them quite that much commitment. Don't let them move in, at least not until their behavior is perfect. Try pushing women away. They'll pursue you, and then, because they pursued you, if you give them commitment, it will be valuable to them because they'll have earned it.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I'm trying to clarify. Everyone might just have a different view.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Depends on the girl and the kind of incident.

Five days usually means that the incident wasn't too bad and I will usually initiate contact. Some girls will just never take the initiative, because they fear the consequences. If you want to keep seeing them, you will have to take the lead.

A soft next can very well become a hard next though or it can become an infinite soft next. Also depends on how much I like the girls.

You'll have to set the rules for that kind of stuff and stick to it.

[–]vverons 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Reading this made me physically uncomfortable. Pathetic.

Do you mean you felt op was pathetic or she was pathetic for creating this situation?

[–]DebonairD 89 points90 points  (1 child)

Imagine being in a relationship like this lol

[–]Thizzlebot 25 points26 points  (0 children)

im not 12 so no

[–]PurpleRespect 31 points32 points  (0 children)

She's not your girlfriend. You're her bitch I'm afraid.

And I'm not saying that to be antagonistic. She knows she has you by the balls.

[–]mrpoopistan 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'll argue for straight-on confrontation.

Flat-out tell her that her behavior is bullshit and that it needs to stop. Do not buy into her frame regardless of what argument she's selling. Be prepared to eject if your demands are not acknowledged and met.

[–]Themdubsup2somethin 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Take the redpill and realize it’s a clear shit test, your only option now is to cheat since she clearly wants you to believe that she is.

[–]bigkids 14 points15 points  (1 child)

0 to 100, real quick

[–]Adadya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Started from the bottom

[–]horologist2018 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I went out last Friday and got really pissed

Okay

and she didn’t like it so she didn’t speak to me for a few days.

This has happened before, several times. She knows it works on you.

She still wasn’t speaking to me into the week

Big deal

so I decided not to speak with her.

This is a childish game, but okay, sure.

Got to tonight and we still weren’t speaking.

So you're "winning," right?

She doesn’t come home from work until 11

Because she's out fucking someone else (or wants you to think she is), and this girl has you so clocked she knows exactly what your reaction is going to be.

I was worried sick calling hospitals and her phone multiple times.

This is the reaction she wanted. Blowing up her phone, good job. . .

I guess the moral of the story is don’t be such a huge pussy.

There's way more to it than that.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

There's tons of feedback, but the list would be too long.

Start by nexting your girlfriend. This shit is clearly toxic.

Read the sidebar, multiple times.

[–]Rhyat450 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Im new to asktrp what u mean by "Read the Sidebar"?

[–]horologist2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a whole list of articles and reading material on the sidebar herewith RP theories. In the "about" section if on your cell

[–]FireDrillem 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The assumption is that she cheated. Act accordingly.

[–]Thizzlebot 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What an immature bullshit relationship.

[–]justicecantakeanap 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If someone doesn't talk to you, don't try to talk to them.

Was going out with this girl for the last couple of months. She stopped calling and i will never call her.

I've got other stuff on my mind

[–]4matting 3 points4 points  (0 children)

u/vandaalen properly showed you how to deal with her.

As for you, my advise would be for you to go out with your buddies, or by yourself, and have fun. Talk to chicks, get some numbers, do whatever you feel like. Get back into the abundance mentality, and then you'll have the mental clarity to make the right decision for youself.

DON'T waste your time being a loser while she's playing her little games. (Ie get drunk by yourself, play endless hours video games, and limit your masturbation. Actually don't masturbate at all, you'll get more motivation to go do what I suggested above)

[–]2chazthundergut 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whoever needs the other person less will always have the better dread game.

She obviously has the upper hand in the relationship. Go find someone who can look up to you.

[–]throwitdownman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you don’t give her attention, some other man will. Learn and move on.

To the commenters, it is time to be objective. If the roles were reversed, there won’t be a problem. Meaning, she is acting exactly how a RP man would act if his LTR was in a similar situation (out drunk, getting mad, therefore soft next and dread).

This means that she’s either been alpha widowed, or is treating OP as a plate. You’re either in charge, or you’re being lead. I don’t see what she did as wrong.

[–]prash33n 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have u asked her why she doesn’t like seeing u in a drunken stupor?

[–]HIJKelemenoP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Calling hospitals? Lawl.

[–]EnzoGold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are you so emotional? Chill out and ignore her bullshit

[–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t come home from work until 11 I was worried sick calling hospitals and her phone multiple times.

Besides the pathetic blow up of her phone, why do you even realized she wasn't home from work? Are you living together?

It's not that she has better dread game, it's that you are dreading yourself and are fully in her frame. You would feel 0 dread if you would have had plans and wouldn't even have recognized her being "late from work".

[–]BusterVadge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got ghosted bro.

[–]satellite779 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Is she a narcissist? Silent treatment is one of their signature moves. If so, run away.

[–]mrrooftops 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is classic Borderline Personality Disorder. He should GTFO

[–]koedeloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't even sound like plate material.

[–]YesVeryKewl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you get really pissed?

Unless she did something really disrespectful, I don't see a reason why a couple won't speak to each other for a few days.

Maybe you guys are just sick of each other given that you live together? Seeing someone every single day, regardless of who they are, can become annoying.

[–]Casd12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was worried sick calling hospitals and her phone multiple times.

Call the cops next time and organize a search and rescue

[–]AlfredKinsey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I have your balls, since you're not using them? I hear they make a clean 200k on the black market.

[–]mrrooftops 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is classic Borderline Personality Disorder. GTFO

[–]mrrooftops -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Looks like someone with BPD doesn't like my revelation. Reee

[–]319Skew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next. Read the side bar.

[–]MCFiletMignon 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why the fuck would anyone be in a relationship where someone does not speak to the other

[–]JustSatan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my thoughts.

[–]masterpiece00 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is a next - there's dread game and then there is obvious cheating. She's got another plate.

[–]MisplacedSanityP -1 points0 points  (1 child)

The moral of the story is get your bitch in line. That's unacceptable behavior.

[–]TirionTheHallowed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it isnt. He needs to get HIS bitch ass in line and stop being the way that he is.

[–]Bedtimeshine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stop playing a game and actually stop giving a fuck.

[–]addwater -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Translation:

I'm more invested in my LTR than she is in me

You need to fix that.

It ready boils down to increasing your value and abundance.

You need to communicate to your brain again that you have other options so you become less invested in her.

Your brain needs proof, not promises.

I.e start gaming other women, hell, even start fucking a girl on the side if that's what it takes.

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I read some of your post history. I won't sugarcoat this, your shits all fucked up. Even if she is pregnant you should cancel the engagement asap and sell the ring. Alternatively, it could just be her BC pills fucking with her head and also causing the deadbedroom. But at this point I wouldn't even be certain the kid is yours.

In other words, get out now before you murder each other. Sidebar, monk mode, new girl, no fucking rings.

GL

[–]wobbleelbbow -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Is she really your girlfriend? Or somebody else's? It seems like that latter is true. No chick can go no contact for more than a week. If she's still not contacting you after a week, you are not attractive enough and you should just next her.

Which you won't do, because you have oneitis. Never invest in a woman more than you will be willing to walk away in 30 seconds (paraphrasing a quote from movie Heat).

Women's currency is attention. Man's currency is sex. If she doesn't get attention she gets bitchy and sad and clingy etc. Now it seems she gets attention elsewhere because she is just fine ghosting you. Which is great. Let her go and do not fall into her frame again. She doesn't value you that much. And remember she will never ever ever love you how you wish to be loved. Women are incapable of unconditional love for a man. They love puppies, children, maybe parents. But never their men.

I doubt you will understand this advice or even go through it but.. when you will get older you will get it.