Why do bums have confidence and I dont? (self.asktrp)

submitted by FluidForm

Im a smart, educated guy, normal looking on the handsome side even, well built,got style, college is now going along nicely l, got plenty of things going for me

yet my confidence is 0, absolute 0, like in Kelvins

yet i know so many bums that failed 7th grade of elementary that are slaying pussy and are full of confidence while working crappy low pay jobs and dressing like trash

[–]jakethesnake5000 192 points193 points  (18 children)

Because they have the mindset that they have nothing to lose, and it’s true

[–]IronboundAbyss 98 points99 points  (16 children)

Came to post this. I learned from an old super alpha, the person who gets told "no" the most in life wins. Getting out of your comfort zone can only make you better.

[–]jakethesnake5000 15 points16 points  (15 children)

Can you elaborate on the person who gets told no the most in life wins part? Not sure I am understanding this correctly

[–]IronboundAbyss 70 points71 points  (14 children)

For sure, You should use this mentality in most settings, business, dating, becoming a drug lord etc. Let's say you want to be the best sales person on your team. You go out door to door for six hours, get told "no" a thousand times, you learn what works and what doesn't and as you are beaten down you get harder, your frame is strengthened because all the shit you received day to day doesn't mean anything anymore. Get crapped on, eat dirt, get punched in the face, it's all good for you. Use that mentality in dating, literally do whatever you want, walk into a Barnes and Noble and ask the first girl you see to get a drink, the more women say "no" the closer you are to success.

EDIT: Talk to everyone

[–]streetlecture 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This is gold. Saved.

[–]IronboundAbyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you enjoyed it, a good ass kicking goes a long way.

[–]mmishu 0 points1 point  (11 children)

The last bit abt asking the first girl at a b&n for a drink sounds like it would get u in trouble.

It shouldnt i just mean in todays political climate it would

[–]_thechinaman_ 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Sounds like you have something to lose

[–]empatheticapathetic 11 points12 points  (4 children)

His freedom

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    there’s no scenario

    What if she lies?

    [–]mmishu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Exactly. Very common with the whole #metoo thing

    [–]mmishu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Uh women lie all the time or misinterpret your actions either bc they’re autistic or stupid and self centered.

    Have you not seen the whole #metoo debacle go down?

    [–]theherosmyth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What trouble? Getting kicked out of a book store? Who gives a fuck dude..

    [–]whuttupfoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Get in trouble? The world isn’t an elementary school classroom. As long as you aren’t breaking any laws it’s fine.

    [–]mmishu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Are u joking? Because there are repercussions for a woman not being too happy about your advances, and some women might go as far as to claim more heinous things which is very common and always read about and you get the cuffs slapped on you before any due process so its still hurtful

    [–]BloodSurgery -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    "Excuse me police, this man wants to have a drink with me, take him away please"

    [–]mmishu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    How about this man is making me uncomfortable? This man is propositioning me? Making unwanted advances? Sexual harassment? You know women lie just as much as men right? Either way it can def draw unwanted attention from other shoppers/staff/police (which are stationed at every b&n in NYC).

    It wasnt an unreasonable question stop acting like it was have none of ya’ll watched the #metoo debacle go down?

    [–]AmazonAlphaMale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I had this mindset at work. I fucked three coworkers, stole shit, didn’t take shit from my managers. Got fired.

    [–]1byronshadow 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    Bums are playing the numbers game so their skin is thick.

    [–]wawakaka 63 points64 points  (1 child)

    intelligence is a double edge sword. it comes with too much self awareness and self criticism.

    the bums you talking about are not very aware and this leads to a blunting of their self criticism also known as the dunning kruger effect where the incapable believe their are capable and the capable believe they are incapalble.

    [–]Judom7491 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Not intelligence just image obsessed nobody cares if some girl turns you down there are tons more

    [–]liberty1127 46 points47 points  (2 children)

    Because you care too much and they don't.

    You sound boring....like you've lived a perfect cookie cutter life. Where is your edge?

    The difference between you and them is that they have an edge and you don't

    [–]FluidForm[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    this is good, hardly any edge, typical nice guy

    [–]liberty1127 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm not saying go out and become a criminal, just be a little mysterious. Develop a few hobbies and keep a few secrets.

    It seems like you are doing everything right. Women want a man who's a little but of a bad boy. Find a way to incorporate that into your persona.

    Best of luck

    [–]MajIssuesCaptObvious 38 points39 points  (2 children)

    0 Kelvin doesn't exist in the entire universe as we know it, so at least take pride in that you've reached an unattainable state.

    [–]Dsalter123 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    I think he actually meant that.. or unless he meant -14

    [–]FluidForm[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)


    [–]No1Buck 69 points70 points  (3 children)

    Dunning-Kruger effect.

    [–]Onidramon 50 points51 points  (1 child)

    Spot on. Basically, bummy borderline retarded dudes can be confident in the same way that babies are fearless. And it leads to making more babies.

    [–]Renzotl56 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Nah it ain’t cause they are stupid. Or they have nothing to lose. It’s cause they have one thing and that’s called experience. I hate these guys that come out here and Bitch about not being confident when it comes to women.

    You think someone should be confident about something they don’t practice ? You don’t start of being some confident alpha god. You start off at the bottom getting rejected by fat chicks until you finally build your game up.

    Stop bitching and put in the work.

    [–]theromanshcheezit 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    Actually there is science and stats behind your observation.

    According to Wikipedia on “Fertility and Intelligence”

    The relationship between fertility and intelligence has been investigated in many demographic studies, with contradicting evidence that on a population level, intelligence is negatively correlated with fertility rate, and positively correlated with survival rate of offspring.

    [–]No1Buck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This is also called r / K selection theory.

    [–]OfficerWade 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    You need to work on a strategy. If your goal is just to slay pussy then you might not have a job, you know? And it works vice versa. Just focus on what you’ve been doing and watch yourself do it.

    [–]Granite_Pill 46 points47 points  (10 children)

    Too stupid to feel shame. I know guys like this too. They have no trouble talking to women because they're too stupid to feel shame and embarrassment. Granted, the women they associate with tend to be low quality, but some of them are pretty hot. I have an obese coworker who gives no fucks and has hot college girls melting in his hands. Stop caring so much. Confidence is king.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–]xddm2653 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      lol, no bud. These "morons" have frames that will make a girl call you daddy. There's nothing attractive about a nice, smart guy

      [–]Poshtotty13 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

      Frames? Like what

      [–]xddm2653 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Being able to talk to any woman like you're brad pitt. Confidence comes from a solid frame

      [–]IVIaskerade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      very little intellectual prowess or collected knowledge to flaunt

      Perhaps that lack of "flaunting intellectual prowess" is part of the reason they get laid more than you do


      [–]markinsinz7 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What's ur obese coworker like? Arrogant douche? How does he meet the college girls in the first place?

      I sense he must be some1 with status in the relevant circles .

      [–]Granite_Pill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No, just a goofy guy who likes comic book movies and reptiles. He's actually married to a woman much, much better looking than he is and he has like 3 kids with her. We meet college girls because our line of work has us going to college campuses, dorms, sororities, and student housing areas were there are tons of hot girls walking around. How can you NOT pass up the opportunity like that? While I hesitate and try to think of something clever to say, he just blurts out whatever wacky thing is on his mind and these chicks are giggling and blushing and giving him the fucky eyes. I've never seen anything like it. He should be studied by scientists.

      [–]Rene-Girard 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What's smart about feeling shame?

      [–]Onidramon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It's not evidence, but a common effect. Being ambitious can lead to anger, but there's nothing necessarily ambitious about just being really fucking pissed off.

      [–]IVIaskerade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Too stupid to feel shame.

      Daily reminder that if a "stupid" guy is getting more girls than you, he isn't the stupid one in the balance of things.

      [–]TheL1zardKing3214 31 points32 points  (3 children)

      Cuz you a bitch dawg, you actin like a straight up little bitch

      [–]sehns 12 points13 points  (2 children)

      Hmm, TheL1zardKing3214 kind of has a point.

      [–]_thechinaman_ 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      All hail the Lizard King

      [–]FluidForm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      good shit

      [–]Musicgoon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      When you have Nothing to lose, all you can to is gain.

      Zero fucks given. That's how It works.

      [–]frequentlywrong 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Don't ask why they have confidence. Ask yourself why you do not have it. What is the voice at the back of your mind telling you?

      [–]jizzonmypants 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Frame is everything

      You having 0 confidence means that you get pushed around easily ,woman smell this like dogs smell fear

      by not giving a fuck girls asóciate those subcomunications as an alpha guy that has higher smv than her even tho in reality might not be the case.

      Don’t get mad at the game, improve, after all sexual strategies for men are woman are mostly obsolete seen within a practical point. We guys don’t need to chase big booty bitches for a good offspring cause medicine, and bitches don’t really need an alpha just a guy with a decent job, yet we al carry this basic instincts.

      [–]SpinPlates 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Because you are socially aware and more intelligent than those idiots. You know your shortcomings. Those guys think they are gods gift to women.

      [–]idontevenlift37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      If the timing is on point confidence can trump almost anything.

      [–]Andgelyo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Try and fail, Try and fail. Try and fail. Try...fail again. Try until you succeed. Over coming failure creates success.

      It's like a sport. When you first try a sport for the first time, you probably suck ass. However, the more you play, the more you practice, the better you become.

      [–]mrpoopistan 4 points5 points  (5 children)

      And the world owes you pussy because why . . . ?

      got plenty of things going for me

      Other than no personality and a total sense of entitlement without any actual effort . . . sure, you sound like a cool guy.

      Have fun spraying the sorority house with bullets.

      [–]Raxizhh 4 points5 points  (0 children)


      [–]FluidForm[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

      well i got personality but you re spot on the entitlement, it dawned on me as soon as i posted this

      [–]mrpoopistan 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      The classic "oh, now I hear it" problem.

      I still have my doubts about this on the personality front. I'll try to take a more productive approach in responding, though, as you seem to at least get there's an issue here on your part.

      I have the somewhat odd advantage in life of being someone who is (now) very educated but who grew up around a lot of white trash -- the guys you're talking about -- and my experience has been that these folks have mountains of personality. Not saying their personalities are always the greatest, just that they have a lot of personality regardless.

      You should measure your actual amount of personality against a classic redneck joke about redneck storytelling. The joke is: "Every good redneck story has the same beginning: 'You're not gonna believe this shit, but . . .'"

      In my experience, every trashy guy I've ever known who just crushes with women has the gift of telling the "You're gonna believe this shit" story.

      Just guessing, but I'm betting your capacity to drop into a social circle of people you've never met before and quickly light them all up with laughter by saying, "You're not gonna believe this shit," isn't there.

      [–]Granite_Pill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Also grew up like that. Grew up in the deep south around people who made terrible decisions on a day-to-day basis, yet seemed to be totally fine and never cared or analyzed their lot in life, still got tons of pussy. Some of them ended up doing quite well for themselves even though they are idiots.

      [–]mrpoopistan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      One of the most natural guys game-wise I know is a friend of my brother who spent his entire youth in and out of jail for every stupid offense imaginable (b&e, assault, petty theft, receiving, bad checks).

      This guy shouldn't be thriving in life, right? He makes a small fortune buying and clearing land for timber and paying the Amish to do the hard part. And he blows a small fortune on every dumb thing imaginable -- if you need to bring an estate auction to a close quickly, pray he shows up to buy the shit your grandmother wouldn't buy. Spends like $300 a day on those damned lotto ticket machines that spit out the scratch-offs like they're candy at Halloween.

      You will never see a guy in your life who just effortlessly flirts with every goddamned woman he encounters. Doesn't matter that he's married, of course.

      Pre-TRP, I found this dude detestable. Post-TRP . . . I completely get it now.

      [–]woodquest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Maybe be lithg it from another angle : What can you have that bums don't ? Now ? In six months ? 2 years ? 5 years ?

      And how ?

      You have 2 hours !

      [–]MasterSharinganUser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Have you read the last piece on the sidebar? Matter of fact, have you read the whole sidebar?

      [–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The subtle art of not giving a fuck

      [–]rambler429 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A man with nothing ain't got nothing to lose.

      [–]waynebradysworld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The world is easy for those not blessed with the curse of self-awareness

      [–]Dontneedflashbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Those bums realize you don't need money to sleep with women. Plenty of nice guys think once they get "x" women will come. Truth be told you don't even need it. The less a woman is attracted to you the more she requires.

      Truth be told men can learn a lot from these "bums". They realize a woman is just a hoe, no need to worry what happens. Speak your mind/do what you want to, if she leaves she leaves. I can't tell you how many guys I see stepping on egg shells to please a woman. Worried how they can change their life to complement the womans.

      [–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence” - Charles Bukowski

      [–]TFWnoLTR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Outcome independance. They don't care if they win or lose because they are so used to losing.

      You need to learn to lose and accept losing. Who gives a shit if some bitch turns you down? Literally nobody, and neither should you.

      [–]daveofmars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They have nothing to lose.

      [–]tbu987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This makes sense the more you think about it. The more "intellectual" you are the more self critical. Thus you may self reflect and overthink things more. This can make it harder to be more social as you try to judge every action and its consequence. When in fact you dont need to. Ive had plenty of situations work out for me simply because i didnt overthink things and just went with the flow and used my confidence. A person less self aware can be easily overconfident thus not overcomplicating things when approaching women and with a less caring attitude he immediately makes it easier for himself and is less worried about rejection.

      [–]BurningOrangeHeaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Low pay jobs and bums are two different things.

      [–]319Skew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Watch fight club

      [–]wobbleelbbow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Why are others richer than me? Hmm maybe because they are smarter and/or work harder?

      Work on yourself, stop asking daft questions.