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See my ex with her new bf at my gym (self.asktrp)

submitted by lenixk93

Went home for the Holidays last year. Asked this girl if we could start something serious this time around. She responded she's seeing someone from her work place. I know him. He hated me in high school.

Now that I'm done with my Master's program, I moved back home. 2nd time I've seen them working out together. No eye contact shared between her and I. Her bf checks me out.

I try my best not to get distracted. I continue my workouts, straighten my posture, and puff up my chest when I'm near them.

The first time I saw them, I was debating whether to say hi and be cordial. But, why should I care about people who don't give a shit about me?

I'm practicing to be more alpha. I try my best to not cower but naturally I do. I'm practicing to be better. Thanks trp.


[–]markinsinz7 205 points206 points  (17 children)

Hold up your a probably decent lookin dude - went back home after doing masters to do God knows what and now ran into a girl who you asked for a serious thing LAST FUCKIN HOLIDAYS she said no and now you are worked up enough over her and her new bf to write an ASKTRP post about it?

Sigh. Forget about her - she don't exist. Don't even acknowledge her - like don't even nod or make eye contact or stare. Remember that fat girl u saw at the gym? What, You don't remember her? Yea neither does anyone else and the same goes for that girl.

And I hope whatever reason u had to move back home had to be real good else your wasting time not making money off that masters

[–]lenixk93[S] 45 points46 points  (11 children)

Appreciate the solid response man.

Yeah. Moved back b/c it’s the cheaper option. Studying for some exams to in order to get into grad school.

[–]markinsinz7 13 points14 points  (9 children)

What do u want to do in life?

[–]lenixk93[S] 47 points48 points  (8 children)

Become a physician. My master’s involved doing cancer research. Got published in a paper.

[–]markinsinz7 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Well in that case go thru with it. Don't even consider backin out till u have paid all the money back. Meanwhile do a side job while heading to grad school

[–]lenixk93[S] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Yeah that’s what I intend to do after my exam. I saved up enough to pay for my gym membership for the next 2 months. On food stamps so I can buy whey, meat, veggies. It’s been a grind, but it’ll be worth it.

[–]Goal10der 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Goodluck on that Mcat bruh. She’s a b*tch

[–]lenixk93[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yea. appreciate it

[–]Bedtimeshine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you finished your masters but now your trying to get into grad school? Huh? If the dude says anything your only response should be that he was fucking her same time you were.

[–]AshyBoneVR4 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Forget about her - she don't exist.

Honestly the best advice one could give in this situation.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Remember that fat girl u saw at the gym? What, You don't remember her? Yea neither does any else and the same goes for that girl.

Haha, love the way you said this. Upvoted.

[–]ChadTheWaiter100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so true. Women only notice attractive men. And we only notice attractive females. Everyone else is invisible in the crowd.

It’s funny that I did uber a few months ago and a fat (woman) and a gay guy (on separate occasions) asked me if I go to (the gym I go to.) it was funny because I’ve never seen either of them in my life and even now I couldn’t tell you what they looked like if you had a gun to my head.

[–]AmazonAlphaMale 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What if a girl ghosted you and you see her? Same frame ? She doesn’t exist?

[–]markinsinz7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends.

Did u fuck and then she ghosted you - well u were probably just some rebound or revenge sex thing so just be courteous IF she is.

Did she ghost you via never agreeing to meet up for a 1st date - well you don't exist to her but you can turn it around if you like - however a high smv guy just wouldn't give a fuck since he'd have other plates.

The key note to pay attention to is the context here. Do you want the girl? Maybe u see it as a challenge that she ghosted you, some guys love this shit especially cause they occasionally succeed but they have a way of doing it.

If YOU WANT then say hi but don't give 1 single fuck if she says Hi back. It might make her rethink her idea of ghosting you. Girls get so many offers man I don't even hate em anymore for the shit they pull. It's just the game.

[–]KilluaKanmuru 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Pay more attention to your workout. Really grip the bar as if you're trying to break it. Be thankful and pay your respects to the iron and the gains you're about to receive.

[–]trpppp123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really grip the bar as if you're trying to break it.

Kinda crazy how under-rated this tip is for the gym. Really saw my gains go up doing this.

[–]Wolveryn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Praise be to Brodin -_-

[–]AshyBoneVR4 47 points48 points  (0 children)

See my ex with her new bf at my gym

She knew.

Her bf checks me out.

He's comparing himself to you. In his head he's probably trying to think of ways that he's better than you.

and puff up my chest when I'm near them.

Don't do that. It's obvious to them and probably anybody who might know the situation what you're doing. It's childish and only gives them more opportunity to feel superior. You want them to think that you don't give 2 fucks about them. You don't care about her, and he shouldn't be on your radar. It's your gym, your territory. They want to work out there, fine, but whatever they're doing is their business.

The first time I saw them, I was debating whether to say hi and be cordial.

Fuck. No.

But, why should I care about people who don't give a shit about me?

This. 10000000% this. Meditate on this. This is the frame you want to live in. Not just with your ex and her new BF, but people in general.

I'm practicing to be more alpha. I try my best to not cower but naturally I do. I'm practicing to be better. Thanks trp.

Keep at it man. There's hope for you. You realize your weakness and know how to improve yourself.

[–]someonesopinion6969 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mate, alpha doesn't mean you ignore the other human beings you used to interact with. it's up to you to be butthurt that the girl you were banging has decided to bang someone else.

it'll hurt but saying you're being alpha is going to give you pain, you're only human and yes seeing your ex will hurt but only when an ex is classed as oneitus

[–]kweikum1 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If you are working on grad school, and on food stamps, you have NO place looking for something serious. Spin plates that see your value and do not get hooked on an ltr. You have a ton of work to do going into the field you are studying for.

Note: once your out and filthy rich, the plates will be far more abundant. Do not throw it all away by falling in love before you reap what you have sewn.

[–]As-You-Were 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You’re in her frame. Get out of her frame.

Dude, you’re at the gym, have a masters degree, and you’re wondering what to say to some chick that’s going out with some nobody?

Leave her frame.

[–]trucknutz36582 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do not . Do not recycle relationships.

That’s like digging a steak out of the trash because it’s still edible. Hell naw.

There’s a reason she’s your ex. Doesn’t matter if it is her reason or yours, fact is the relationshit failed.

[–]ArdAtak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't puff out and posture too much or it will look forced and make you look like a douchebag. Natural good posture. Focused. Headphones. Cap low so all they see is your white teeth. Bob a little to the music since you're in your own world. Socialize and laugh with other guys from time to time but not too much.

[–]sixseven89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ignore

[–]omega_dawg93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dude... you're shoulder flaring like a cobra & chest puffing? please tell me you posed in the mirror or at least deep-grunted on the cable crossovers... flexing... to emphasize. ROTFLMAO.

pics or it didn't happen. lol.

seriously... you are giving away non-sexual attention to a woman that's been receiving DNA blasts to her vagina from a dude you don't like. why? if you just happen to look at her, it should be a look as though she's a piece of glass... right thru her.

go ahead and become a physician. CHASE YOUR PURPOSE!!! you'll see 100 women that look better than her in your rear-view mirror chasing you as you make yourself a better man.

[–]mark55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think being alpha would mean saying Hey to them and making it not awkward. She's obviously not your type after all the shit she put you through, so don't sweat it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good idea. I did meal prep ground turkey tacos this week... (trying to hit my protein macros)

[–]RedHoodhandles 1 point2 points  (1 child)

She's dead to you. Trying to outalpha her new bf is pointless. You don't care about their opinion so what are you trying to accomplish. Fucking with his ego that his gf got dicked down by better dick in the past? That's just jerking your ego. Let. Go.

Btw, learning and motivation wise and if you can cut your ego out of the equation, it is interesting to see if she managed to actually upgraded lookswise (the rest you shouldn't even be knowing) or not.

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I try not to make unnecessary comparisons.

[–]ethbytes 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She responded she's seeing someone from her work place.

You were a plate... Learn from this one and do not repeat... I shit you not, Physician hopes will be lost in the stank mire of disposable nappies, take out boxes and hordes of feral spotty children...

Be cool with them. Say hi to both then do your thing. NO chit chat or puffing out like a Silver back. Workout like an animal and ignore. Odds are she will text you soon the hamster will go into over drive; just out of plain curiosity and did she bail on better potential. This will most likely happen when she has had a fight with current.

You can however now be more focused on you: get fit mentally physically, spiritually will follow. While he wastes his (in the mire of...)...

Interested in the choice you make...

[–]lenixk93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Better potential? Maybe? It could of been a contributing factor. I was beta, blue pill and effeminate. Took TRP and advice from my homies about how to be masculine. We met up last holiday, when I was taking TRP.

But I believe for the most part it was because I wasn’t willing to compromise my goals. I’ve always been focused on achieving my goals. She’s dating someone from her workplace. She likes proximity. She once said to me in “how do you expect someone to like you if you don’t spend enough time with them?” She’s at our same undergrad doing a substandard masters program... while I went to a rather prestigious program, where the only pick 20 students out of 600 for the year. So I recognize this and know that regardless of the past, I’m making moves now.

I lost my virginity to a girl on Tinder at 23. Albeit a late bloomer in general and to taking TRP, during my time away from home, having my own apartment, I’d pull college girls. My body count was 0, and became 10 in a year. Got into a LTR last summer and ended things cos I felt distracted from my goals. Dodged a bullet. Thanks again TRP. No regrets.

[–]ZeppKfw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be happy she dumped you otherwise you could've been stuck with an ldr.

[–]Ivabighairy1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, what's with the Oneitis? Plenty of women out there.

[–]Herdsengineers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've grown since your prior interactions with her, you've outgrown her. Go find new women, don't rummage through the past. The past is garbage.

[–]recon_johnny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple.

Treat them both like they were ugly, fat chicks.

Don't bother to look, don't bother to have them take up any time in your head.

They're inconsequential. And let it fucking go, will you?

[–]uwcscareerthrow 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Okay so here's what I got from your post:

  • You're pretty good looking considering you work out and have her new boyfriend jealous of you
  • You have a master's degree and seem to be doing good for yourself.

Now what you do is you fucking leave her, work your ass off and figure out a way to make capital from the experiences you have gained from your Master's program, and hold a solid frame over them. This will get you women much, much, better overall than her.

Also ignore the fuck out of her. She's being an attention whore and bully.

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah. I model on my free time.

[–]uwcscareerthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bingo, given that you aren't an insufferable autist you can find another more attractive girl very quickly

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]lenixk93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks appreciate it brother

[–]faustian_talos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude remember - YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

Do not give a fuck about anyone else.

[–]addwater 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Puffing your chest up and standing intentionally straight in their presence sounds try hard and insecure.

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Haha. It's my natural response to slouching and cowering

[–]HoRaTiO12345 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Why would you ask a girl whether you can "start something serious"? It's a woman's job to worry about relationshits, your job is to get laid.

[–]santlaurentdon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow this mentality is ridiculous...

[–]1walawalawa -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Asked this girl if we could start something serious this time around. She responded she's seeing someone from her work place.

Never ASK a girl to be "serious"...EVER. That is the MOST Blue Pill/Beta thing any guy could do.

You should always be the prize, the one SHE wants to nail down and get serious with. I stopped reading your post after that first line. The rest of whatever you're asking about is unsalvageable if that's your mindset.

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It was a year ago. I just really saw myself with her.

Seeing them is a reality check for me. People are settling down. And I'm still an in debt student.

But now I know asking for commitment requires such. In general, I'm not willing to give up my academic and professional pursuits for anyone. I'm not a martyr. I know myself well enough that the only reality I want to live in is where my goals come into fruition.

[–]1walawalawa 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The Red Pill is Truth. Truth means looking at a situation as it is not how you wish it was or how you imagine it could be.

It's been nearly 9 years since I discovered game and the Red Pill. It's been a struggle. I've had these episodes of Oneitis and have been sucked into drama that I now know and realize was all because I lost frame, I thought it could "fix" a situation instead of moving on from it. Now I focus on things that matter to me. That doesn't mean I don't do things for other people or girls. But now I do them because I WANT to or because it's CONVENIENT or BENEFICIAL to me. Red Pill isn't about being an uncaring asshole it's about being self-aware.

[–]lenixk93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First sentence caught me. Very profound. Thanks for this