Was this rude of me? (self.asktrp)

submitted by dream-hunter

4 months gf, 7/10, amazing at sex.

After sex we were cuddling in bed and she was touching my body everywhere, then she started making fun of my hands for being small. Here's how it went:

Her: woah your hands are so cute Me: small smile thanks Her: they're so tiny hahah Me: ignore, no reaction Her: these are such small hands haha Me: then they fit well with your breasts

She got silent and mad afterwards, then I had to go and left. She didn't say anything to me. No response. I didn't let that affect me and left.

She told me months ago that she doesn't like having small breasts and that she hates it, so me pulling that line on her must've been rude, or not? What do you think? She's mad in love w/ me by the way. This situation happened 2 hours ago.

[–]koldkillah83 235 points236 points  (10 children)

No. If she dishes it out then she should take it too. It was a shit test. Don’t apologize, just continue to hang out with her like before it ever happened. Definitely a shit test.

[–]RRBeachFG2 100 points101 points  (5 children)

Aww the ol'small hands diss, I've gotten that once; I just mention how big her hands are and if she played wide receiver in highschool. That usually shuts them up.

[–]Jabbermouth 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I’ve used “Ole wide receiver headass” and it’s worked 75% of the time

[–]AtlasCuckd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will be understood by a specific group he understand headass lol

[–]beekay142 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Ol' Man hands trick ahahaha

[–]erthian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She had man haaaaands.

[–]ppanthero 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]erthian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was a shit test AND people get over stuff.

[–]bucSlayer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So when a child calls you poopy face do you get butthurt and take it back on her?

[–]Stokestix -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. If she dishes it out then she should take it too.

Nah, that's how children fight. Best way is to treat her like a child and use amused mastery.

[–]AllBizzedUp 138 points139 points  (7 children)

You broke frame by actually trying to hurt her feelings/ hitting an insecurity. The only reason you‘d fire back this aggressively is if she was actually hitting a nerve of yours, and she knows this.

Amused mastery man, if you’re gonna fire back make is something not so personal to her. That way it stays fun.

[–]jackandjill22 47 points48 points  (0 children)

That's what I was going to say. Romance is the only battle in which your objective isn't to crush your opponent. /u/illimitableman

[–]KnightOfSantiago 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Not sure if OP new it was her “insecurity” or not. I don’t know, didn’t seem too bad to me. If she wants to hit something he could’ve potentially been “insecure” about (at least in her mind) she can take it too

[–]BloodSurgery 16 points17 points  (1 child)

She told me months ago that she doesn't like having small breasts and that she hates it

OP knew it was her insecurity it seems

[–]KnightOfSantiago 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I Must’ve misread. I thought it was months AFTER he made fun of her.

[–]yes_kid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree with this.

[–]HIJKelemenoP 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Who cares bro? If your only concern in the world at the moment is your tiny hands and your gf getting mad about tiny tits then you're living the good life.

[–]Random_throwaway_000 112 points113 points  (0 children)

FUCKING SAVAGE! 10/10 reply, you did nothing wrong. If you wanted to neg her a bit less, you could've went with "They're perfect for making your tits look huge when I grab them" but your reply made me lol.

[–]herrLitschka 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Some comments here read like they are posted while being in the anger phase...

[–]ChemicalGiraffe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Welcome to trp

[–]adam_varg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some? like 90%+

[–]Chadster113 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Damn that was fucking brutal haha. I once had a girl tell me my dick felt bigger in her mouth than it did in other places. Wasn't sure how to react to that. haha

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun 7 points8 points  (0 children)

After I bust a super solid nut I usually peace out or fall asleep in a few mins. That back and forth banter just isn't my style. Sounds petty since u already know her weakness. If she ain't LTR material idk why u'd waste the time even thinking about it. Then again, u felt insulted and wanted to wreck her psyche so... w/e.

Whats the saying?

"eye for an eye leaves everyone blind"

[–]Ronaldo-CR7- 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I probably would have gone with “yeah I got small hands but my dick feels huge when I grab it” lmao deadpool

Anyway you pretty much told her the equivalent of you have a small dick. If you really like her then it’s okay to apologize otherwise fuck it

[–]Spartan5326 24 points25 points  (1 child)

You shouldn’t apologize, but for the future, you shouldn’t make fun of insecurities people tell you about. Unless you were really upset and are actually insecure about the size of your hands, you overdid it. But that was witty as fuck, you have a talent bro lol

[–]Nicolas0631 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And actually it is objectively better to have other telling you of your shortcomings and be honest with you than other saying nothing.

Maybe you can't make your hands bigger, sure and it is likely of no importance. But many other things you can improve and being aware is the first step. When somebody say you the truth that no other said, they are not the enemy, they are actually real friends.

[–]Saberinbed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Meh. I have small hands too and if a girl ever calls me out on them i just say shit like “yah facts”, or like “yeah i got women hands lmao”. The point is, i just give no fucks whatsoever when women try to make fun of me. I get roasted so much by my squad that there is nothing that a women can say to me that’l get me rattled.

In your case, you may have gone a little overboard imo, i personally wouldve ignored it. At this point, don’t apologize to her unless you feel like she really is going no contact on you for a long period of time. Just try to pretend that never happened, and see how she reacts.

I honestly doubt she is going to be mad for long tbh. If she is, thats probably a red flag anyways.

[–]Nergaal 11 points12 points  (1 child)

The objective of holding frame with a girl is not to destroy your opponent.

[–]Incaahhh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This should be higher. Sometimes you have to think about what sort of reaction you are trying to illicit. His comment helped no one

[–]RedSkeller 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Kind of a cheap shot as she was just playing around and you went for a kill shot. But you already said it and it happened so it's better to just not talk about it and give her a compliment about her tits, just one, to even things back out.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]SuitedInquisitor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Savage but immature. I think you took it a bit too far and you somewhat realize it.

If she had said that about your dick, I think her breasts are fair game for you to make this comment on.

[–]entrep4 34 points35 points  (8 children)

Lol. Fucking owned.

You made fun of her insecurity which she specifically told you about. That's something you should never do, unless you want to hurt someone a lot.

People will probably tell you some crap about holding your frame but in this case I think you should actually go and apologise to her. There's a difference between being a confident guy who stands up for himself and being a cunt.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children)

    Depends on how easily you can pull in girls. If you never apologize all your relationships are bound to bite the dust. If he can pull in girls as fast as his relationships end, it's fine. Else he should go and apologize. It builds trust

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)


      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      TRP is not a gospel. It is just one of the tools. I don't see everyone who has read TRP getting laid everywhere and people who haven't being incels. I am using common sense here. If you keep on hitting on sensitive spots, the relationship is doomed to fail.

      [–]Nicolas0631 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      No you can apologise when you made an error and be done with it. That adult, responsible behavior and will be appreciated as such. But you still respect yourself, and expect to be respected.

      Overdoing it, doing it all the time or apologizing for being yourself is not okay and not appreciated. Don't mix up things.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]Nicolas0631 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Remember that the TRP is about being the male elite, and not accept average or low value females as partner. You want exceptional females that have self respect among other things.

        How the average "blue pill" female behave is of no interrest.

        [–]trele_morele 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Brah, I know some others are gonna applaud your response but I think it was a weak ass come back. You should have said something along the lines "how do you like my tiny hands when they pin you back against the wall before I stick my big Johnson in you?" Why do you have to show how fucking butt hurt you are instead? How much did her comment hurt you anyway? Are you that insecure? You totally lost frame and you know it. Best thing to do now is let it blow over

        [–]newbie3hunna 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Are you the dude from always sunny who always wears larger hands over his hands?

        [–]SalporinRP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Don't apologize if you don't genuinely feel bad about it but to be honest what you did was a bit stupid. Yeah it was an obvious shit test but you don't respond to shit tests by targeting your LTR's insecurities in a mean way.

        Amused mastery dude. Saying something like what you said just makes you come off as being butthurt.

        [–]1walawalawa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        She told me months ago that she doesn't like having small breasts and that she hates it, so me pulling that line on her must've been rude, or not? What do you think?

        Here's what you should have done....amused mastery:

        You: "Small hands? Your tits make them look massive..."

        Amused mastery.

        The problem here is something I've spent years trying to overcome: Being too inside my own head and taking shit like that as "insults".

        Girl I'm banging constantly shit-tests. I barely react.

        She's going on and on about how crowded the traffic is and how noisy the bus is...

        I just tell her a story about a similar scene in which traffic in this city was portrayed in a movie...

        These things are meant to test. The more you look like you care...the more you fail.

        [–]EPArt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Bs about frame being broken if anything it was hers. You guys being to serious its not that deep that was hilarious. I feel like op just said it casually not a targeted attack like hers was. Probably teach her not to give back handed compliments or improve her "banter" as some call it.

        [–]friendandadvisor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I'm thinking that she was giving you hints to use some AM, and other playing around, such as:

        Her: "You have small hands" [read: I'm hungry for some more D. grab my ass/tits]

        You: Nothing

        Her: "Really small hands! (Can't this fucking idiot take the hint??? Grab my tits or ass, jughead! Let's start another round)

        You: Your tits are small.

        Her: {I was expecting you to say "Small, huh? Let's just see about that...hmmm...grope, grope...seem to fit on your ass just fine...boob grope, boob grope...seem to fit your tits...etc..." Instead, you insulted my tits.}

        [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        4 months gf,


        Her: woah your hands are so cute Me: small smile thanks Her: they're so tiny hahah Me: ignore, no reaction Her: these are such small hands haha Me: then they fit well with your breasts

        That's not rude. That's pathetic.

        Amused mastery.

        [–]Black_Jesup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Please update the thread describing how the breakup went.

        [–]BigDickEnergy123 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        If you ever want anyone to hate you (guy or girl) point out their insecurities.

        This isn't a shit test dude, you legitimately hurt her feelings.

        There's a difference between standing up for yourself and being an asshole. Standing up for yourself would have been "Hey, I don't appreciate you making fun of my hands" Being an asshole is what you did.

        [–]Smubii 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Yes. You said it out of butthurt. You failed the shittest.

        [–]justdontfindme 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        That was hilarious lmao

        [–]chlorellamanna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I have tiny grandma looking hands. Shit sucks, us small guy hands gets this shit all the time. WP sir.

        [–]Terra501 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        the reply was delicious. well done. you’ll have her respect now regardless of what happens.

        [–]Nicolas0631 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        She is more likely to find him an asshole and she would be right on it. Respectable people accept critics with grace and don't get offended easily. They don't alienate others so they can feel better. They see the best on everybody.

        [–]Jaythe4th 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You tries to hurt her after she shit tested you...

        As a guy with small hands I usually say: " I have the hands of a pianist" or " I could be a good gino"

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        then they fit well with your breasts

        perfect response.

        must've been rude, or not? What do you think? She's mad in love w/ me by the way. This situation happened 2 hours ago.

        so she can mock you, but you can't imply anything about her? if she respects you she'll take this well. if she violently objects she sees you as beta.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Who upvotes a blank comment, lol.

        [–]Random_throwaway_000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        People just upvote the tag.

        [–]dabah2014 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I almost wish I had small hands just so I could add this to my shit test repertoire. You did great dude. If she can dish it, then she should be able to take it as well. If she wants to pout about it, then find another girl. Women claim they want equality like men. Men shit talk each other. So women need to get use to shit talk from men, ESPECIALLY when they’re the initiators.

        [–]AlternativeRedneck 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        This just proves more and more how people think it's perfectly fine for women to tear men down but if a guy does it to a woman oh he's such a piece of shit and they wonder why the male suicide rate is so high.

        [–]Nicolas0631 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No if the situation was reversed and the OP was a girl attacking her boyfriend dick size, knowing he is insecure about it it wouldn't be any better.

        [–]throwitdownman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Split responses. One thing you guys (perhaps those of you older) fail to remember is social circles. Young girls gossip a lot. They can’t keep their mouth shut. She’s obviously incredibly amused by his hands.

        If OP had gone amused mastery, believe me, she’ll tell all her friends that her BF has small hands. High chance he will be negged by this down the line.

        To me, that’s bs I don’t want to deal with down the line. OP did nothing wrong.

        [–]NeedingAdvice86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        NO the older experienced men KNOW that when you become a grown ass man you don't get butt hurt over silly shit and lash out at your LTR.

        Nothing about what the Op did was mature or smart...he will soon find out why.

        [–]1Quaternionz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah, don’t apologize and just let it blow over. The correct answer would have been:

        “Oh, yeah, they’re tiny. Why exactly are you dating me again?” Then smirk.

        Agree and Amplify.

        [–]hrm0894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        One of the funniest comebacks I've seen on TRP. Good job.

        And no it wasn't rude. Women that try and cross your boundaries not only need to be put in their place, but they WANT to be put in their place. Just don't apologize.

        [–]budfox26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Beautiful reply mate. Beer waiting for you here in Sydney. Handled it perfectly.

        [–]waking-life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Man, one time a girl took her bra off and I said "wow, they're bigger than I thought they would be"... nothing bad happened.

        Another time I told a girl her pussy was loose. She got really mad. And continued taking my dick in her ass for months after it.

        [–]BurningOrangeHeaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        she doesn't like having small breasts and that she hates it, so me pulling that line on her must've been rude

        That is not what makes something rude. I dont like pets, you telling me you love your cat wouldnt be rude.

        [–]UpperRedSide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Here's what just happened pal. You just passed a shit test with flying colors. Women will whine and moan about it, but whenever you handle it like this, their attraction for you just goes up.

        [–]coriollanvs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You a savage.

        [–]toothottotrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        "Goes good with your breasts," HA!

        That was a golden response and I commend you for it sir.

        [–]Nicolas0631 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        If it was clearly intended to be against you, you need to maintain respect and have no issue with alienating the offender, you can attack back on something that will be a hit. Like you did.

        If it was not that, just a stupid joke, or even a tender joke, you could joke on yourself or make a joke on her that would not be offencive or badly perceived.

        Well now that this is done, make it clear, that you find her pretty and like her body. If you don't mind her small breasts, clearly find a moment to compliment her on her breasts. Not directly next time but later, cup her breasts with you hand and say how much you like them and how pretty they are. Don't lie of course or it will show.

        [–]Cirrustratus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        well maybe you went a bit too forward for your own befenift, too defensive, but still, after that it was all good old male whatevership, thats what gave your advantaje in conjunction with her actually having insecurities around that (what a surprise). I would say it was a perfect fit, so dow hat you want without being a bad person. lol

        [–]Esquivo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        -Being a man

        -Feeling wounded for someone commenting size of you hands

        [–]Amerigo_Anthony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Damn. You nailed it.

        [–]letmereadthatshit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You know when you respond to shit tests like this you should have a amused look like smirking or laughing now she is just taking it personally but yeah forget about it it will go away eventually

        [–]RedHoodhandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You could have perfectly flipped this by saying that they fit perfect in her sexy tight pussy. Finger her and initiate round 2. Instead you hurt her feelings because you kew her insecurity with her breasts.Beta faggot move.

        [–]NeedingAdvice86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Ahhh......to be 12 years old again.

        Or not.

        When you become a man you will stop get butthurt over silly shit.

        [–]goodolboy89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        just pretend like you like small boobs, tell her shes fine the way she is.

        [–]freew33zy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Hahahahahahahahahahaha this is hilarious. My LTR also has small boobs and I bust out lines like this on her all the time for good fun. Don't worry about it. Myself and my LTR roast each other a lot--keeps the spark alive.

        [–]scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        As u/AllBizzedUp said, you broke frame and killed the attraction dude. Yes she was shit testing you. You did fine at first by just blowing it off and being unaffected. But then you double-fucked yourself by A. Coming across as butthurt, clearly indicating to her that she’d found an insecurity. And B. Insulting her in a way that women get offended by. Accept the double standard man. Women are the weaker sex. Men are expected to deal with shit testing more than women ever will. Doesn’t matter that it was “even”. The sexes aren’t even. You made her feel insecure and also revealed yourself to be insecure. Learning experience.

        [–]DefJ456 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Ha. Hahahah. Fucking savage. Love it.

        [–]DrizzlyShrimp36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yeah, dick move. And useless too. And you broke frame because by firing back on something more personal (who gives a shit about hands? Damn) you’re letting her know that you took the hands comment personally.

        [–]2chazthundergut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You did nothing wrong.

        If she's gonna shit test you about your tiny hands, she can handle some fairplay about her itty bitty titties.

        If you apologize, or validate her with some "did I say something wrong sweetie??" bullshit, you fail.

        [–]FlyingSexistPig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You did exactly what you should have done.

        1) Agree and amplify with the "thanks". Really excellent.
        2) She keeps going with her planned insult. You are playful with her.

        She gets butthurt. But this is a good thing. Because she just had a great emotional high, and now she gets some drama. Her hamster is now well fed. She got her high and low, and later she'll get more makeup sex. It's a win-win.

        [–]z2a1-9 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Superb comeback!

        [–]HurricaneHugues -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        So she gets to shit all over your hands, but the minute you say something about her tits, it makes u rude? Is that how u really think?

        [–]NeedingAdvice86 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

        Well this thread certainly highlights why so many asswipes end up on TRP wondering why they suck with women.

        Looking at you dipshits who think that the Op was "savage" or "witty as shit" and the rest getting off on the Op uselessly insulting his SO because she said something about his hands.....HIS FUCKING HANDS....bahahhahaahahahhhahahhhaha.

        The Op will find out why down the road fairly quickly......

        [–]NeedingAdvice86 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Enjoy the pain....

        When you grow the fuck up, you will look back and cringe.....