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Why is everything so Awkward and Cringey nowadays? (self.asktrp)

submitted by ThatKidinAfrica

I feel like in my Father's and Grandfather's time, Every interaction was smooth and came naturally, It was an inherent human ability that everyone possessed. But for some reason in our age so many people are socially awkward and inept, Every conversation looks like it was staged by a dweeb and the amount of introverts that suffer from social anxiety has also dramatically jumped. Our generation has forgotten how one of the most basic part of Human behaviour, "Socializing" works. What is the reason for this increasingly diffident society and how can we deal with it?


[–]KrustyKrabReject 199 points200 points  (1 child)

People don’t leave the house unless they have to.

[–]NoPassengers 79 points80 points  (0 children)

And even online you can block and avoid the sorts of people and topics that make you uncomfortable. Comfort zones are rapidly shrinking.

[–]Johnnadawearsglasses 168 points169 points  (12 children)

As an older guy rest assured. It was always this way. You just couldn’t broadcast it on social media. Maybe 5 kids out of 20 per class were actually non socially awkward popular kids

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 80 points81 points  (3 children)

^ This. If anything, things are more chill now.

[–]markinsinz7 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I gotta ask if people were chit chatting with each other at bus stops/on bus/ at coffee shops and shit?

[–]frognads 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I just remember people reading books and shit instead of phones back in the 90s. Nothing really changed.

[–]markinsinz7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I guess we were kinda always disconnected then. Just socially forward people were able to chat up anyone. Hmm.

Then all that's changed is further inflated egos all around

[–]KingSlapFight 35 points36 points  (7 children)

As an older guy, I disagree, in the sense that in my opinion more younger people are socially inept, and those with the best social skills are still considerably lower than those with the best social skills 20 years ago. Women also behaved differently in the sense that they valued social validation much more. Now most of their physical social interactions are just photo opportunities to generate validation through social media.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Yeah there were definitely fewer socially retarded/self-proclaimed autists 20 years ago.

[–]silentcauga 4 points5 points  (5 children)

there's a lot more older parents(especially mothers) now that created the abundance of autistic kids

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Are older people more likely to give birth to autistic kids?

[–]silentcauga 6 points7 points  (3 children)

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/link-parental-age-autism-explained/

Yes, this article says fathers but I've heard mothers. Either way, there's definitely something there. Biologically, we are meant to conceive once we begin our period.

[–]jovijovi99 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah men and women shouldn’t be having kids at 40+. It’s like they pass down their wrinkles and funny looking faces to their kids.

[–]silentcauga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don't think its necessarily a problem if the dad is over 40

[–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I would never think of any 30+ woman as mother material.

[–]frontyer0077 81 points82 points  (1 child)

I think a big part of it is social media and technology. Video games, phones, facebook etc gives a person all the entertainment they need. It also gives them a form of socializing, but not the real deal.

50 years ago you had to actually leave the house to have fun. There was not much to do other then interact with people. You had to do stuff, with another human being. You dont really have to today. And that creates socially akward people.

[–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s funny because once you are socially shy or awkward it carries over into tech. I have actually been in VR chat rooms in VRChat and still felt uneasy and afraid to talk to the “strange” avatars walking around. Madness.

[–]SexySmexxy 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Socialising has chnaged.

The internet

Social media

Fast transport

Tinder

The game has changed, the game always has been changing and always will change.

[–]theromanshcheezit 12 points13 points  (8 children)

Well, I think you, and most people intuitively know the answer: technology has served as a bit of a “social buffer” between us and other people.

It’s likely the reason why young people are having way less sex than their parents and grandparents and though many people see this fact as a good thing, I think that the underlying causes are because people don’t really understand how to socialize with one another.

A really big factor is the rise of masturbation and internet porn addiction (which the article I linked falls short in explaining). Both men and increasingly women are falling more and more into the trap of incessantly masturbating instead of going out and being social.

[–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Also, I love the line in that article “If hookups are your thing, Grindr and Tinder offer the prospect of casual sex within the hour.” From a female abundance perspective it seems they have the attitude that they can get sex any time they want within the hour. How many men could say the same thing? Not many.

[–]theromanshcheezit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is spot fucking on.

The SMV looks a whole lot different for me than it does for women.

And I think most people intuitively know this.

[–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is not an accident. The entire reason porn in general is tolerated by society and countries in general is as the main form of population control. There are just too many people on this planet and there are many secret and not so secret population control measures in place to try and bring this down.

[–]theromanshcheezit 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Nah, I don’t agree here. Porn isn’t really “tolerated” now, but it’s is more acceptable to watch porn now that it has ever been before. Porn itself is still a bit of a taboo topic that isn’t really talked about in casual conversation.

I don’t think it is a form of population control especially since first world countries would’ve inevitably seen decreases in population with or without access to porn.

[–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

By tolerated I mean it is legal. And I don’t know what social circles you hang in or your age, but in mine porn is far from taboo and is always talked about. It’s even joked about and talked about in office environment in company I work at. Even if women are present. I know America is a lot more politically correct in this regard so it may not be as open in work environments.

[–]theromanshcheezit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’m from Texas, so I’m surrounded by people who are haughtily religious. Many of them are religious hypocrites.

Nah, I’ve never worked in a place where people talk about porn at the workplace.

[–]geo_gan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think America is a lot more uptight about it than Europe where I’m from. Must be from the culture difference.

[–]Coo_Larrow 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Greetings time traveler. Tell us more about what it was like in your grandfather's time

[–]2SirKolbath 62 points63 points  (15 children)

He asked, on social media, from his phone.

[–]FlyUpMyButt 38 points39 points  (0 children)

You right. He was going to ask the letterbox, from the post office

[–]xddm2653 6 points7 points  (13 children)

Reddit =/= social media. You're thinking of Facebook, snapchat and all the other shit making people lose social skills

[–]bakamoney 12 points13 points  (9 children)

Reddit is the 4th most visited site.

Dont delude yourself

[–]BurnieSlander 5 points6 points  (7 children)

Reddit is not “media” in the sense of social media. Reddit is forum-based dialogue that promotes actual discussion. The main TRP sub is a perfect example of this

[–]bakamoney 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And TRP is quarantined.

Most of reddit is artificial content and shills now.

[–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So it’s quarantined. it can still be accessed.

[–]waynebradysworld 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Reddit is a media propaganda front where only a few deep dark corners actually discuss things

[–]BurnieSlander 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Isn’t that how the whole internet works?

[–]waynebradysworld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, just alot of the MaInsTreAm sites

[–]PM_ME_HOT_GINGERS 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Its the social media for nu-males. Just like any facebook group theres no actual discussion here. TRP is a circlejerk just like every other sub.

[–]BurnieSlander 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ok buddy.

[–]xddm2653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a message board.....

Do you consider Yahoo answers social media too?

[–]santlaurentdon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yup. Reddit isn’t even classified as social media on the app store.

[–]htbf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

😂

[–]TGL-Jesse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‼️

[–]Random_throwaway_000 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Everyone else is going to blame the internet. I say the increasingly dysfunctional families everyone is being raised in (sucks not having a dad) and the increasing amount of diversity in USA is killing the sense of community. Different cultures drives people away from each other.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Porn has a big impact. It wreaks absolute havoc on your dopamine reward system and one of the effects is anxiety. Also irritability. You’re like a junky who’s nervous about getting his next fix, irritable to be talking to someone when you’d rather be watching porn, and also incredibly nervous that your disgusting habit will be found out, leading you to interact while appearing to be hiding something.

[–]Heizenbrg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thats gaming and weed for me lately. Its thanskgiving today and I'd rather get high and stay on my own wtf is wrong with me?

[–]1kick6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because of (anti)social media.

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You really think it was all smooth and natural? No, these guys stumbled their way there aswell, but you know, social circles were "bigger" and more intensive and that helps understanding social dynamics, understanding social cues and learning what works and doesn't work while gaming. With intensive I mean: face to face..

[–]masterpiece00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Smartphones were the nail in the coffin of society, but basically computers and everyone staring at screens.

[–]SirAttackHelicopter[🍰] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Because in the past everyone went out every day all day to socialize. Remember the old saying "you need to go play outside". Well that has much deeper meaning than ever. Because if you don't just go out there and do it (despite the fact that it doesn't feel good or you will fail multiple times), you never will, and everything will become catastrophically awkward and cringey when you NEED to be out there (ie. work, etc).

[–]redditpuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So true, it gets harder when you're older and missed out

[–]Shoregrey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You have two generations raised by TV, and two generations raised by the internet and social media.

[–]RatMan29 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A big part of it is the ridiculous changes in the law. A woman accusing a man of harassment, DV, rape, or even child molestation will likely succeed in costing him his job, his home, and some of his family and friends, and will nearly always get off scot-free even if she is later proven a liar.

Under those conditions it is so dangerous to chat up a woman you don't know or even be alone with one that most men, most of the time, now avoid doing so.

The feminist movement created these laws, and its members deserve them. Other people don't, but are stuck with the results anyway.

[–]Giga_Caligula 3 points4 points  (0 children)

loss of sense of community, globalization, being raised on technology, not leaving the house, sissified society. thats why.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Devices and escapism.

[–]dbz0x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Porn, social media, lack of real interactions with people. It’s a society that is trapped.

[–]sampson158 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the times of your father and Grandfather people taught their children respect, and manners.

When they didn't have manners they got corrected. When someone was disrespectful, they would get called out for it, quite embarrassingly. And if they acted like a little cunt, they would get their ass kicked like a little cunt.

This is mainly because Men acted like Men, and weren't afraid of saying NO, and weren't afraid of hurting someone else's feelings.

We need a lot more John Wayne, and McClintoc! and a lot less hurt feelings in the world. Cowboy the fuck up and act like a Man!

[–]MakeMenGreatAgain44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Spot on. Because the spirit of this age is a severe lack of guidance. Back in the days people had manners and took pride in it too. Similarly, all forms of etiquette were taught to people by their families and this included the art of keeping conversations. People took pride in being gentlemen for example. It meant you were a well rounded type of guy. Nowadays, there is no exemplary people to follow, or very few that they have no weight.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's less interacting in person, which means people have worse social skills on average.

[–]BlackVale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take me for example. I was raised isolated. I allowed to have friends due to my parents and the only social interactions I had at school and those were very few because again? No friends. I at least try to hold conversations with people but people nowadays don’t want to deal with you unless you are in a social circle they know of already. The only real interactions I get to have with others is at work and at my gym. Even then I still don’t get much interaction with others.

If you didn’t get a chance to start socializing and building a social circle early then you won’t get many chances later on if you are a guy(I am currently 25). As a man you are solely judged by the value you bring to others and a huge component to that is social proof. So guys who didn’t get the social proof they need earlier on do not get a chance to build social skills and this become socially awkward.

I don’t think women have socially awkward problems nearly as often as men do though. Someone is always willing to introduce them to the social life. They are just daft as hell because they don’t go through anything in life.

[–]Dsalter123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because nowadays you can offend someone with literally anything.

[–]killwhiteyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People view the past through a nostalgic lens. And/or people use old movies as a proxy for "the past" which leads to a warped view.

[–]powerbaseballfan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because everybody is nerds

[–]zeekt12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dopamine addiction.

[–]Ricklogical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things are getting better. There are still pockets of true social failure but with so much communication and networking happening, people are becoming better at adjusting without the need for an actual physical connection.

You can attain enlightenment online with a digital guru, the same applies to all other things.

5 star recipes are available with a simple google search. This is the greatest rush of information ever known in our history.

Shit is good. We deal with it by physically approaching people, everyone around us, make those nearest to you every day known. By name, profession, interest, family members. Know everyone on your block at least a little. Know the people where you buy things, know the people where you eat and drink and play.

Know people, push to know them and be open and curious and loving and understanding.

You be the vehicle for community, it will form around you.

[–]Gooraba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Porn

[–]sorryforthelifestory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re probably just awkward and cringey sorry bro. Keep lifting and working on your social skills.

[–]campa56la -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think that question is a projection of your mindset generalizing.

[–]eatingaburritoatm -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How do you know what it was like in your grandfathers day? Movies? Those aren’t real.

There is nothing new under the sun

[–]Datanami -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That's not true